24. Madi

Chapter 24

Madi

The drive across town back to the Confectionery went by in a haze of starlight and tears, peppered by the occasional glare of a streetlight. If the roads had been busy, I would have pulled over to cry it out, but lucky for me, I had a clear shot home.

But now that I was home, I didn’t want to go inside.

I cut the engine and tapped a restless beat on the steering wheel as I sat stewing on what I’d heard in the hospital.

I couldn’t seem to acknowledge the significance of Cole’s words, even though they had been repeating on a loop ever since I’d heard them. I tried to brush them aside and think positively, but it wasn’t working.

“We’re not serious. We’re just starting out. Seeing where things go.”

“I’ll never get fucking married again.”

I didn’t want to hear it when I was standing outside that hospital curtain, eavesdropping like a little freak, and I didn’t want to think about it now. I had wanted to cover my ears like a child and pretend he wanted to be with me as much as I wanted to be with him.

It’s not like we had a commitment. We hadn’t made any promises to each other. But at that moment, my heart didn’t want to be logical. It hurt.

This thing with Cole came on fast. It was all at once. It was everything. I didn’t want to lose it, so I grasped at every straw I could think of that would make it make sense.

He was scared to move on.

He was afraid to be in a new relationship. That’s probably all it was.

That had to be it.

I couldn’t conceive of him feeling any other way. He was so good to me. He was too good of a person to string me along. He wouldn’t do that.

Plus, I had to admit that if I had an ex like Sherry, I would be scared too.

I broke up with Ross and as far as I was concerned, even if he moved in next door to me, I never had to speak to him ever again.

Cole didn’t have that luxury. Like it or not, he had to deal with Sherry. They were bound together forever because of Natalie and Evan. And if I somehow ended up with him, I would have to deal with her too. I’m not sure how I felt about that. But there was no need to put the cart before the horse at this point.

I glanced at the dashboard clock. It was after midnight. I hadn’t realized how late it was when I left. Tate had called, and I spared no thought about anything other than getting to the hospital to be with Cole. It was as simple as that. That was a massive clue that my feelings for him were far more profound than I had allowed myself to contemplate.

After I got out, I heard a rustling sound in the alley. Momentary panic flooded my senses, and I almost jumped back into the car before I heard the distinct sound of Kenzie muttering to herself.

I shuffled around the corner and found her huddled next to the dumpster, leaving a voice note for someone on her phone.

“Kenzie! What the hell are you doing out here? Do you know what time it is?”

She let out a whispered shriek and fumbled her phone into her lap. “Shit, Madi. You scared the hell out of me.”

I stood next to her in the shadow of the dumpster. “I scared you? I just got back from the hospital. It’s the middle of the night. The last thing I need is to hear whispering in the dang alley. And why are you out here? Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Kind of. I mean, I’m alive, I guess. But back up a second. Hospital? Is everything okay with you?”

“It’s not me. Cole got burned. He’s going to be fine.”

“Okay, that’s good. I’m glad to hear it. But you don’t look fine. At all.”

“I overheard some things, but I’m refusing to freak out until I know more. I have to talk to him about stuff. Madison 2.0 does not bury her feelings and let things fester until they explode. But she can also read a room. Timing is everything.”

She patted the cement next to her, and I sat.

“That’s good. I overheard a whole bunch of shit, too, and I’ve totally lost my mind. Cut to me sitting in an alley waiting for the midnight baker to come out so I can jump his bones. I need to get over Drew. Immediately. Like, right now. I have got to get him out of my mind.”

I nudged her shoulder with mine. “Ah, the whole get under someone new to get over another someone old thing. Is that it?” I kept it light. Kenzie would spill her guts to me if, and only if, she was ready. It was best to let her tell me whatever had happened to set her off tonight on her own time.

“Exactly. You get me. Now, get lost. I can’t seduce him if you’re here.”

I side-eyed her. “I wouldn’t count on seducing him out here. Dumpsters are not sexy. But at least this one isn’t on fire.”

“You’re right. I’m miserable. I don’t know what to do.”

“Do nothing. Hang with me. Neither one of us needs to do anything tonight.” I leaned into her side. “I’m pretty miserable right now, too. I’m falling in love with Cole. I know it for sure now. It’s happening.”

Her eyes shot to mine. “And that’s a bad thing? I don’t see how. Cole is awesome. I’ve basically been telling you this since you got here.”

“It’s a potentially bad thing when tonight, I overheard him say that we are not serious, and he is never getting fucking married ever again.”

“Oh shit. And that’s all you want to do since forever ago. Playing Barbie’s with you was like being stuck in the nineteen fifties. Damn, that sucks.”

“Hey.” I nudged her shoulder with a laugh. “I’m not that bad.”

“Okay, fine. If the nineteen fifties included bank accounts for women, property ownership, and freedom—whatever. I know you were into Astronaut Barbie, too, but that’s not my point. Don’t pretend you don’t understand what I’m saying. You’re no trad-wife wannabe, but you want to have a family, Madi. And we both know why.”

“Yeah. I do. I want that—more than anything. I want to create everything I never got to have growing up. I want to be like Gigi. Is that a bad thing?”

“No, there’s nothing wrong with it. Everyone should be able to choose what they want.”

“And you still want Drew. Right?”

“Yeah, but I can’t have Drew. I’m not that woman. Nobody cheats on me.”

“I know. Everything is stupid and frustrating right now. Let’s cry, maybe stomp around, or throw things. We can solve our problems like grown adult women tomorrow.”

She gestured to my tear-streaked face. “Cry? You mean keep crying, right?”

Taking note of her own puffy eyes and tear-streaked cheeks, I whispered softly, “Yeah, something like that.”

“Who says grown adult women aren’t allowed to be frustrated and cry?” She leaned her head on my shoulder.

“You’re right. We’re allowed to be upset.”

We sat, hugging each other, crying and shivering against the cold brick wall of the Confectionery.

There was a sourness sitting in the pit of my stomach that wouldn’t go away. I felt wretched about tonight. I shouldn’t have left him there. I should have been the one to drive him home and take care of him.

“I’m freezing my ass off out here. Maybe we should go up to your apartment.” Kenzie broke the silence in a strained tone. “Can I crash with you? I don’t want to be alone, and I don’t think you should be either.”

“Yeah, of course. I’m always here for you, Kenz. We’ll be okay in the morning. Or not. I don’t fucking know.”

Her burst of laughter lacked her usual humor. “I feel so comforted right now.”

The kitchen door flew open, letting out the smell of delicious fresh-baked bread, along with Gigi, who could only have been the midnight baker standing in the shadows behind her.

My blood ran cold when I noticed the boot was gone. I knew she had an appointment with her doctor today. One of her friends had taken her. I also knew her ankle was getting better and that she had been milking her injury for as long as she could, which was another thing I had shoved out of my mind to think about later.

It seemed like all my laters were catching up to me.

I had no reason to be in Cozy Creek now unless I made an active choice and decided to stay.

“Drew?” Kenzie’s jaw dropped as she quickly scrubbed her hands down her cheeks to get rid of her tears.

I looked past Gigi as she stepped into the alley. Drew was behind her. They were taking out the trash, each holding a bag.

He didn’t answer. He gritted his teeth, his jaw ticking in dismay. He frowned and handed Gigi the trash bag he was carrying, and then he turned around to go back inside without a word.

But the look of defeat on his face could not be mistaken.

“Let me take that.” I took the bags from her and tossed them into the dumpster.

“Drew is the midnight baker?” Kenzie deduced in a trembling voice. “I’ve been making an ass of myself over him all this time. Imagining who he was is what kept me from thinking about Drew so much; it was a distraction. Why am I like this? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I’m so sorry.” Gigi’s face radiated sympathy and guilt. “I wanted to tell you, but I couldn’t. He didn’t want me to. He wanted to give you space. And I think you know why.”

“Because we broke up.” She flattened her lips and looked away. “Damn it. He needs this job, and it’s perfect for him. He deserves to have a place like this to spend his time. He needs to feel safe and secure after all he’s been through. I’d never try to take this away from him. You’re a good person, Gigi. Better than me.”

“You’re hurting right now, Kenzie. I’m not better than you. I was just trying to keep two people I care very much about happy. I’m sorry if I mucked it up by keeping this a secret.”

I looked between the two of them, waiting for an explanation.

“Drew was a Marine,” Kenzie explained. “He’s seen some shit. He said he needed to figure out how to, like—live again, I guess. He needed peace. I mean, what was he doing with me, right?”

I hugged her against my side. “Kenzie, stop it. You could cheer anyone up. Do not sell yourself short. I won’t let you.”

“Madi is right. And I’m not trying to get in the middle of the two of you, Kenzie. But I couldn’t fire him. I just couldn’t. He’s doing so much better now. He’s in therapy, and we talk almost every night⁠—”

“No, I’m okay. I get it, Gigi. Totally. And I don’t want you to let him go. His job here has nothing to do with me. I’m no petty bitch.”

She waved her hand. “Oh, honey, I know that. Under all that smartassery, you’re just a giant tender heart full of love. But I think the two of you need to talk,” she added gently. “For real, without all the anger and fighting getting in the way. But that’s not up to me to decide.”

“When he can give me a real explanation for what he did, then maybe I’ll listen. Maybe we can, like, be friends or something—someday. When we’re senior citizens, and I don’t want to jump his bones all the damn time.”

“Hey.” Gigi was offended. “Just because you’re old doesn’t mean you don’t still need to get your freak on from time to time.”

I stood there blinking, choosing not to process what she said.

Kenzie stuck her hand out for a high five. “I take that back. Go, Gigi. Get yours. It’s Mr. Nightingale, am I right? I see how he looks at you when he comes in for his green tea and banana bread. And how he always brings you all the zucchini and tomatoes from his garden.”

“Perhaps.” Her lips tilted up in a secretive grin. “But that’s not what we need to discuss right now. What we need to address is why you two girls are crying in my alley in the middle of the night. What’s going on? Are you okay?”

“Not at the moment. But we will be,” I answered. “We were about to go upstairs to crash. Can we talk tomorrow? Maybe we can all have breakfast together.”

“Yes, my loves. I have to get back inside with Drew. He’s probably so worried about losing his job right now.”

“Wait.” Kenzie put a hand on Gigi’s shoulder to stop her from opening the door. “Does he ever talk about me?” she whispered. I could tell it killed her to ask. “Is he over everything?”

Gigi looked her in the eye. “Yes, he talks about you, and no, he’s not over anything. But if you want to know how he feels, you need to let him tell you about it himself. Listen to him, Kenzie, and if you don’t like what he has to say, what you do about it is up to you. You are the most stubborn person I’ve ever met. Though I can hardly blame you for it.”

She hid her face in her hands. “I’m an entire mess. I know.”

“My darling, you are not a mess. But you have guarded your heart so completely that nothing gets to it anymore. Drew got in there, and it terrified you. And that was before the mystery of the back seat thong happened.”

“Oh god, you know about that?”

“Kenzie,” I said gently. “Everyone knows about that. You weren’t exactly quiet the last time he came into the Confectionery.”

“Right. Great. Okay, maybe I will move to Colorado Springs with you,” she muttered. “When I get mad, I get loud. It’s like I just start yelling no matter who is around.”

Gigi held up a hand. “No one is moving anywhere. Not until we have a long talk.” She looked at both of us in turn. “I mean it. If I find out you have packed up and moved overnight, I’m going to hunt you down and drag you back.”

“I would never do that,” I promised. “No matter what is going on. I’ll always talk to you first.”

“Deep down, I know it. But it had to be said. Also, is something happening I should know about? What are you doing out here?”

“Cole got hurt tonight.” I exchanged a glance with Kenzie, warning her without words not to bring up the love stuff.

Her hand flew to her chest. “Oh my god!”

“He’s okay. He’ll be totally fine. I just came from the hospital. From what Tate said, he was in there more for precautionary measures. He might even be home now.”

“I’ll go over there tomorrow and bring him a chicken pot pie. He loves those.”

“Hey.” I grinned at her. “I love those. Bring me one, too,” I teased.

“Come over tomorrow, and we’ll make it together and bring it to Cole.”

“You’re always planning something, aren’t you?” I said as I hugged her goodbye.

“I can’t seem to help myself. I do it because I love you and want you to be happy. Get upstairs, girls, and get some good sleep. Good night.”

“We love you too, Gigi.”

We said our goodbyes to Gigi and went upstairs to sleep for the rest of the night.