Chapter 10

CHAPTER TEN

T he next morning, Amanda stretched lazily, still half-asleep. Va'rik was no longer holding her, but she had a vague recollection of him whispering something in her ear about going to gather food. She stretched again, enjoying the pleasant ache between her thighs. She suspected that if she could see herself in a mirror, she would have the same satisfied look that Jeanine had worn when she met her at the door.

Thoughts of Jeanine inevitably led to thoughts of Billy, and her contentment vanished. As much as she had… enjoyed her encounter with Va'rik, she had to get home. Why did she already suspect that the more time she spent with him, the harder it would be to leave?

Treat it like a one-night stand , she told herself firmly. We both enjoyed ourselves, and now it's over.

But then she sat up and saw him standing by the water. His head was down, his shoulders slumped, and he looked sad and alone. Hammy was sitting next to him like a small guard.

Her chest ached, and she couldn't prevent herself from going to him. She put her arms around him from behind, hugging him tightly. His cinnamon scent mingled with the salt air, and she expected him to turn and greet her. Instead, his muscles tightened.

"Va'rik? Is something wrong?"

"No."

Despite the negative answer, he didn't sound like his usual self. She slipped around in front of him, her breath catching when she saw his face. He looked exhausted. Had he been trying to remember again? Or maybe his wound is bothering him , she thought guiltily. She certainly hadn't taken it into account during their… activities.

"Did you get any sleep?" she asked gently.

"Some. I had… unpleasant dreams." He looked out at the sea over her head.

"Do you want to stay here and rest today?" One more day wouldn't really hurt, and he did look tired. And the thought of additional time with him was disturbingly attractive.

"No. We need to reach the destination on the map. I should have woken you earlier," he added stiffly. "I apologize."

He'd certainly changed his tune. Did he regret what they'd done? For a fraction of a second, a horrible feeling of rejection washed over her, but then he finally looked down and met her eyes. The pain on his face took her breath away, but his hands still clung to her waist.

"Talk to me, Va'rik. What's troubling you?"

"I… I didn't understand your urgency to return to the child—to your child until now."

She had a feeling that wasn't what he had originally intended to say, but she was still glad to hear it.

"Thank you." She started to pull his head down for a kiss, but he didn't respond to her urging at first. Just as she was about to start demanding answers, he groaned and kissed her. The kiss was everything she could have wished—thorough, demanding, passionate—but there was an air of desperation that troubled her.

That didn't prevent the kiss from leaving her knees weak and her clit aching. She would have liked to take it further, but he was right. Time to get moving.

After a quick breakfast, they gathered their belongings and set off up the coast. Hammy bounced along ahead of them, obviously enjoying the new scenery, but Va'rik still looked tired and worried. Before she could question him again, he turned to her.

"Tell me about the child."

"About Billy? Do you really want to know?"

"Yes."

"He's an orphan?—"

"One without parents," he murmured.

"Yes. His mother died of an overdose two years ago. I'm not sure if she even knew his father."

He looked appalled. "How could someone not care for their child?"

"Hard to believe, isn't it?" Some of the bitterness she thought she'd buried long ago rose to the surface. "But my father did the same thing."

He came to a dead halt. "I would never abandon my child."

"I know you wouldn't." And she did know, she realized. Even in the short time they had spent together, she was absolutely sure that he would never fail a child.

Or a mate? her heart whispered.

Pushing aside the uncomfortable thought, she gently nudged him into motion and continued her story.

"Since then, he's been shunted from foster home to foster home. His caseworker brought him to our town because even at his age, someone was trying to recruit him into a gang."

"A gang?" He tilted his head, and the familiar gesture made her hide a smile.

"A type of criminal organization that frequently uses teenagers and even children."

"This is permitted on your planet?"

"No, but it can be hard to stop. Mrs. Dublin thought he would be better off in a smaller town, but the person who is currently caring for him isn't the best caretaker. That's why I want him with me." Unexpected tears filled her eyes. "And because I love him. He's so bright and he has so much potential, but he's already learned not to trust people."

"As you have."

"I trust people." She automatically started to object, but the truth in his words couldn't be denied and she sighed. "It's not exactly that I don't trust them. I just want to be prepared."

"Prepared for them to leave you."

It wasn't a question, and she didn't respond.

"You said you are a teacher," he said, changing the subject. "Do you enjoy it?"

"I do." She hesitated. "Do you remember your teachers?"

Her question didn't seem to trigger a headache, but he looked even sadder. "We were taught by machines, but I… believe that there will be a need for teachers once more."

"Why?"

"The old ways did not work."

She sighed. "Va'rik, you're being very cryptic."

"I know. It's just that my… memories are still confused. Can you tell me about your world instead? I would like to be able to picture you there."

Her chest ached, but she made herself smile. "It's not very exciting, but if you really want to know?"

"I do."

As they continued up the coast, she told him about her life: about her house and her class. And more about Billy. He seemed genuinely interested, asking her for more details and sympathizing with her concerns.

"I would have liked to have a son like that," he said, after she finished one of her stories.

"Perhaps you will one day." The words tasted like ash in her mouth, and she realized that she hated the thought of Va'rik with another woman, let alone having a family with one.

Don't be selfish , she scolded herself. I can't expect him to live alone forever just because I can't stay with him.

"I will not."

"Why not?"

"Because you—" He shook his head. "Because it is not in my future."

She didn't have the courage to pursue the question, and changed the subject.

When they made camp that night, he showed her everything he did and let her help without objecting.

"Thank you," she said softly when they had finished their meal. He was tossing the bones from the fish they had caught in the fire and gave her a startled look.

"For what?"

"For listening. For showing me how to take care of myself. Not that I think you'll leave me," she added hastily.

"No, you will be leaving me. I will worry about you."

A lump formed in her throat, but she made herself smile.

"I'll be fine." No matter how much she was going to miss him.

Hammy had been dozing in her lap, but she put him down in his favorite place next to the fire and went to Va'rik.

"I think you're forgetting something."

"What am I forgetting?"

"Don't look so worried." She straddled his lap, and his hands immediately encircled her waist. Such nice, big hands, she thought happily as she leaned closer, his scent surrounding her. "You forgot that I want to thank you."

His hands clenched, and for a terrified moment she thought that he was going to push her away, but then he groaned and pulled her closer. His cock hardened beneath her, and she wiggled teasingly as he bent his head and kissed her.

Va'rik suspected that the more times he and Amanda were intimate, the harder it would be to let her leave, but he could no more resist her than he could prevent himself from breathing. He let his kiss express everything he could not say to her—his desire, his need, his sorrow—and when he raised his head, she smiled up at him, her eyes dark with passion in the flickering light.

The hard points of her nipples rubbed tantalizingly against his chest, and he bent her back over his arm to feast on the tempting buds, first through the thin fabric, then directly on the golden flesh. The damp heat of her sweet cunt teased his aching shaft and he pulled her even closer, sliding her pearl of pleasure against the petals of his cock until he felt her shudder.

As soon as she did, he lifted her over his cock and slid her down over the first ring of petals. The sweet clench of her flesh was almost too tight, the walls of her channel massaging him until the first hot rush of seed left him. He felt her quiver, felt her soften enough to take the next ridge, and he would have paused there, but she made an impatient noise and pushed down. He kept his hands on her hips to steady her, but he didn't stop her as she steadily worked herself down his shaft until she had taken all of him. A fine sheen covered her skin, and he could hear the quick intake of her breath, but she looked triumphant.

His body strained with the need to move, but he held himself still.

"I want to try something," she whispered breathlessly.

Her hand slipped down between their bodies, and he watched as she found the small pearl of her pleasure. She circled it and he felt her body try to tighten, sending another delicious pulsating massage around his embedded shaft. His petals quivered in response, and she stroked her pearl again, their bodies building on each other's pleasure until she cried out, her channel milking him in a long, convulsing wave, and his own climax overtook him, his petals swelling as his seed left him in one explosive rush.

She fell forward against his chest, and he wrapped his arms around her.

"Thank you," she murmured, and he knew she was smiling.

His perfect mate.

How was he ever going to be able to let her go?