Chapter 9

CHAPTER NINE

V a'rik clutched his mate as his cock slowly subsided, his entire body thrumming with satisfaction. How could any mere physical sensation be so overwhelming? But was it just sensation? He tightened his arms around Amanda. The thought of experiencing the act with anyone else felt wrong. Especially now that the fiery warmth of his Elaman confirmed his certainty that she was his mate.

But she had not accepted him. Would it make a difference if he told her that they could have a child eventually? She had not given him a chance to explain that his certainty that he could not get her pregnant was only temporary. But she already has a child , he reminded himself, and the ache in his chest was no longer due to his marking.

The sun was slowly sinking towards the horizon, casting a shimmering trail across the water, and he reluctantly disentangled Amanda's body. She murmured a protest, her tight little channel clinging to him.

"I should make camp before it is dark."

"Mmhmm," she agreed sleepily. "What do you want me to do?"

"Stay here and rest."

For a moment he actually thought she would comply, but then she yawned and sat up. The setting sun enhanced the golden glow of her skin and gleamed on the traces of lavender seed on her thighs. She looked sleepy and satisfied and beautiful, even as she shook her head.

"No. I want to help."

"I wish you would let me care for you."

"And I appreciate that, but I have to know how to look after myself in case?—"

She stopped abruptly, but it was too late. He could tell what she had intended to say. "In case what? Do you expect me to leave you?"

"Yes. I mean no, not exactly."

The ache in his chest increased. "You do not trust that I will always care for you as my mate."

"We can't be mates, Va'rik. I have to return to Earth."

"I could accompany you." The words emerged from his mouth without conscious decision, but he had no desire to retract them. He would follow her anywhere.

Her eyes looked suspiciously bright, but she shook her head. "I'm afraid there's no place on Earth for a big purple alien. My government would not treat you well."

He didn't attempt to argue, despite the objections that sprang to mind. Instead, he gently cupped her cheek. "Couldn't you at least trust me to care for you while we are here? Why is that so hard?"

She looked down at her hands, carefully examining her tiny, blunt claws, and didn't answer.

"You told me last night that your father left when you were very young. Is that why you do not trust a male to care for you?"

"You remember that?" She finally looked at him, her dark eyes wide and startled.

"I remember everything you have said to me."

"Maybe that's why you can't remember anything else," she muttered, then her shoulders slumped. "I don't know. Maybe you're right. I thought my mother taught me how to be independent, but maybe she just taught me how to be alone."

He didn't say anything as she stared out across the water. She finally shrugged and looked back up at him.

"Why don't we save the psychoanalysis for another day? Would it help if you thought that I wanted to help because we are partners and not because I refuse to let you take care of me?"

Partners . He liked the sound of that.

"Very well, my partner. Why don't you retrieve your clothing and our bag while I look for a water source?"

She nodded, then leaned in and gave him a much too brief kiss. "Thank you, Va'rik."

His cock jerked instinctively at the words, even though he would have sworn that she had drained him completely.

She laughed and ran a teasing finger along his shaft. "We'll save the other type of thank you for later."

As she jumped up and went to gather her clothing, he admired the sight of her lush golden flesh swaying enticingly as she walked. She looked back over her shoulder and saw him watching and shook her head playfully.

"You're not going to find water by watching me."

Recalled to a sense of his duties, he reluctantly tore his eyes away and started to search.

By the time the sun had completely disappeared, he had found a trickle of water flowing down a rocky hillside. The hill from which it flowed curved back slightly from the beach, forming a sheltered place for them to spend the night. A small fire crackled in the breeze from the water. He had considered building a larger fire since the breeze off the water cooled the night air. He didn't want Amanda to be chilled, but after their experiences the night before, he preferred not to attract attention. This one was only large enough to roast the fish he had managed to catch and to provide some light for Amanda.

She had been feeding Hammy the remnants of that fish, but she looked up now and smiled at him. Very deliberately, she reached behind her back and untied the strings of her top, revealing her luscious breasts, the peaks already dark and hard in the firelight. They swayed gently as she walked towards him, every movement a seductive song.

"I believe I promised you a proper thank you," she whispered.

A very long time later, after she had thanked him so thoroughly that his entire body was limp, he stared up at the stars. Amanda was asleep in his arms, and he could hear soft snuffling noises coming from Hammy, curled up by the dying fire. But even though he had not slept the previous night, sleep eluded him still. In the silent night, the memories that had haunted him in the valley resurfaced.

They were frustratingly few, and he wished he could remember more. But the fragments had all been sad and he feared the pain a deeper knowledge would bring. His people—and he was sure that they were his people—had all been pale and thin, their bodies fragile. Unlike his current strong, healthy body. Why had he been spared their fate?

The questions continued to swirl in his mind but eventually tiredness overcame him and he slept.

And dreamed of the past…

He was in a laboratory, one that felt as familiar as if he had spent most of his life there. La'tok'at'bron faced him across the long workbench.

"The conclusion is inescapable. Our race is doomed to extinction."

He wanted to argue, but he could not. Oh, they could prolong their existing lives, but there would be no new life. Despite all of their technology, they would have to face the inevitable.

"If only we had more time." He tried to pace around the lab, but his legs were weak and uncertain. "It could take years to find an answer, centuries even."

"Perhaps there is a way." La'tok'at'bron displayed a series of holographic formulas in the air over the workbench.

"What are you suggesting?"

"Our people could rest and wait. We could continue our studies." La'tok'at'bron raised a thin, trembling hand. "Although not in these bodies. We would need to find a form that requires little maintenance."

The idea of modifying his form did not trouble him. His physical being had never been a source of satisfaction or pleasure. Their ancestors had delighted in strong, powerful bodies, but that had been many generations ago.

"Do you think our people will agree?"

La'tok'at'bron shrugged. "I do not know. I suspect most of them will—it is a logical course of events and most of us have been trained to value logic."

"But not all will agree."

"No, not all. And that is their choice. Are you willing?"

He had spent almost his entire life in the pursuit of knowledge. The thought of untold years continuing those studies did not distress him. There was little other pleasure in his life.

"I am willing."

They had put the proposal to the Great Council, and eventually to the rest of the population. The majority had agreed, and a year later, he and La'tok'at'bron had watched as their people entered the laboratories, ready to be placed in waiting until an answer was found.

Va'rik's father had not been one of them. The old male had turned away and returned to his house. They had never been close, each of them devoted to their own path of study, but it had hurt more than he had anticipated.

Then he and La'tok'at'bron had undergone their own transformations and become little more than brains, searching desperately for an answer. Until finally, they had happened upon a small planet circling a distant star—with a race that should have been headed for extinction but had somehow managed to survive—and they had developed a theory. A theory that the mate bond the humans seemed to inspire could save their race from permanent extinction.

His memories came flooding back—memories of their trials, their successes, and of his own decision to be transferred once more. Placed in a body derived from their genetic ancestors, and given a chance to find a mate. A family.

His eyes flew open as the dream faded, but the memories did not.

Guilt overwhelmed him as he realized that it was his fault—his fault that Amanda had been taken from Earth and brought to him. Even though La'tok'at'bron had been the one to choose her specifically, he would have used the process they had developed together.

And the process had failed.

She was not supposed to have any ties holding her to her home planet, but she did.

She was supposed to want to become his mate, but she did not.

He had hoped that perhaps her feelings towards him would grow, but how could they now? How could she love him when she realized that he was the reason she had been taken away from a child she loved? A child . What worse crime could they have committed when everything they had done had been intended to foster new generations?

He would have to tell her, he decided, even though the thought of seeing her face grew cold and hard made his chest ache. Then she stirred restlessly in her sleep and he stroked her back until she calmed. She needed him, he told himself, even if she didn't want to admit it.

Perhaps… perhaps he could wait a little longer before he told her.