Chapter 11

CHAPTER ELEVEN

V a'rik rounded a cliff and came to a halt, looking out at the terrain ahead. Amanda followed his gaze and saw a wide river, foaming as it mingled with the sea. Given its size, it had to be the one indicated on the map—which meant they were only a short distance from their destination.

She should have been excited that she might be going home soon—but going home meant leaving Va'rik. She was going to miss him so much. They had been traveling up the coast for several days now—talking, working together, making love—and she couldn't imagine a life without him. If it hadn't been for Billy, she would have stayed on this primitive planet. But as much as she loved Va'rik, she loved Billy too—and the little boy needed her more.

Hammy seemed to pick up on her distress, patting her ankles until she picked him up and buried her face in his soft fur. God, she was going to miss him too.

Forcing a smile, she turned to Va'rik. "Does this mean we're close?"

"Yes. A day. Perhaps two," he added quickly.

She suspected that he was trying to stretch out the last remnants of their time together, but she didn't object. She didn't want to leave him either.

As they turned inland next to the river, she saw another series of ruins climbing the hillside. These were better preserved than the ones in the valley. More of the walls remained and she could have sworn she even saw what looked like a roof in a few places. Wildflowers and brightly colored vines wove amongst the buildings and, unlike the valley, it had a welcoming air.

"Was this a city as well? Do you remember?"

He winced, as he always did now when she asked him about his past.

"Not a city, but a small town. For some of the workers from the labs," he said reluctantly.

"It's pretty. Should we stay here tonight?"

"No!" His hand was already cupping her elbow, urging her onwards.

"You mean it's dangerous?"

"Not exactly."

Not much of an answer, but he looked so distraught that she decided not to press him. He insisted that they keep walking until the hillside town faded away behind them. Small groves of trees edged the river, but the rest of the country had turned to prairie, carpeted with pale lavender grasses. Once they were well away from the town, Va'rik suggested they make camp next to the river.

"We should stay here tonight so we will be rested tomorrow."

"All right," she said softly.

"Do not go in the water," he warned. "The current is very swift, and there are hidden dangers beneath the surface."

"That's a shame. I wouldn't have minded a bath." Despite her disappointment, she could see for herself how quickly the water was moving.

"Do you want me to build a fire?" she added turning her attention to more practical matters.

His old smile flashed across his face.

"Could I stop you? You are very proud of your fire making skills."

She grinned, knowing he was right. She found the process of gathering wood and making a fire extremely satisfying. And this would be her last chance. Her smile wavered, but she tried to keep her voice steady.

"Don't worry. I know it's only because you taught me how. And I'm tired tonight. I won't even insist on accompanying you to gather food."

"Thank you, my… partner."

Silence fell between them, and she wondered if the pain on her face matched his. But neither of them spoke, and he finally turned away. As he left to gather food, she started collecting firewood, doing her best to ignore the tears that trickled down her cheek.

As usual, Va'rik's happiness at returning to their campsite and finding his mate waiting was tempered with guilt. He still had not been able to bring himself to tell her about the part he had played in bringing her here. The fact that La'tok'at'bron had chosen so well only made it worse. She was everything he could have wanted in a mate. Intelligent and brave and so beautiful she made his heart ache. And he had taken her away from her home and her child.

A smile crossed her face when he appeared, and she gestured to the pot hanging over the fire. "Look what I caught!"

He smiled back, unable to resist her enthusiasm, but his smile disappeared when he realized the container was full of karapa.

"I told you not to go in the river." His blood ran cold as he imagined her swept away from him or attacked by the vicious mokkis that populated the water.

"I know, and I didn't. Look." She showed him a crude net made from vines she had woven together.

"That's very ingenious."

"We study Native American ways every fall, and we made something similar one year." Her proud smile returned. "I think I'm finally getting the hang of this place."

Just as she was about to leave . The unspoken words hung in the air between them and her smile faltered. She turned back to the pot, giving it an unnecessary stir.

"What did you find?" Her voice was muffled.

"Just some hedlar fruit. I'm not as clever at providing food as my talented mate."

He saw the color flood her cheeks, and when she turned back to him, she was smiling again.

"Hammy would disagree. You know he loves them."

The little levet was indeed looking up at him with big, hopeful eyes. He sat down and fed Hammy while Amanda bustled around. There was an air of urgency in her movements, but he didn't attempt to stop her. He only watched her, trying to memorize every moment as he stroked the levet's soft fur.

They didn't talk much while they ate their own meal, but he could see her watching him in turn. When it came time to sleep, he was afraid she might turn away from him, but she came into his arms with her usual willingness. He made love to her with a desperate urgency, then gathered her close, staring dry-eyed into the night sky.

He didn't think either of them slept, but they remained wrapped together until after the sun rose. Finally, he sighed and sat up, still holding her in his arms.

"We should get going."

"Yes," she agreed, but didn't move.

He forced himself to release her, and they slowly gathered their belongings and set out. Hammy seemed to have picked up on their mood. Instead of hopping around them as he usually did, he kept close to their feet.

The short walk to the lab took even less time than he had anticipated. They had been walking for no more than an hour when they topped a small incline and saw the white blocks of the lab building gleaming ahead of them. He had never realized just how out of place the rectangular blocks looked against the natural surroundings.

"It's so… modern," Amanda said slowly.

"What were you expecting?"

"I'm not sure. More pink stone, I suppose."

"We weren't bound by the constraints of the past," he said automatically. His people had never used much technology in their living arrangements, preferring to use it to gather knowledge instead, but he and La'tok'at'bron had built the lab to stand for as long as it was needed.

"We?"

"The inhabitants of the planet." It was technically true, but so far from the actual truth that his stomach churned. He had to tell her the truth. Now. Before they reached the lab.

"Amanda," he began, but then Hammy squeaked and his own skin prickled. He turned in time to see a cloud of pink dust boiling over the distant hills and racing across the grasslands. A sandstorm—and a bad one if it had already made it this far.

He reached down and grabbed Hammy and thrust him into Amanda's arms, then picked them both up and started to run. Their path would intersect with the storm if he didn't make it in time, but he knew the lab building would protect them. It had withstood many such storms.

The wind continued to increase, the sky turning a hazy pink, but only a few grains stung his skin before he reached the lab. The door opened automatically as he raced towards it. As soon as they were inside, he slapped the auto control, and it slid closed with silent finality.