Chapter 22

Twenty-Two

Nick

T he next morning, I woke before Abby. She was sleeping peacefully on her side, her hands tucked under her cheek. I wanted to stay, but I didn’t want the boys to see me leave the guest room. I’d get the boys breakfast and let her have a few more minutes of sleep. It was one more way I could take care of her.

Mixing the batter for pancakes, I couldn’t dismiss the sense that something was wrong. I went through my head, trying to find a moment last evening that didn’t feel right, and I couldn’t. We’d made love last night. Maybe that’s why I was on edge. I wasn’t sure if she felt the same.

Abby kept things bottled up tight. I knew she’d been hurt in the past and was reluctant for any commitment, but surely, she’d changed her mind. What we had was special. Besides, she told me she’d stay. I’d meant more than the night. I’d meant for the foreseeable future. And I hoped she was telling the truth when she said she would.

I heard noise in the living room as the boys woke. It sounded like they were throwing pillows at each other, so I quickly dried my hands and went to the living room. “Miss Abby’s still sleeping. I’m making pancakes. Can you keep it down?”

Both boys scrambled to their feet, leaving the blankets and pillows on the floor, and ran toward the kitchen. I guess they didn’t know what it meant to be quiet because their feet sounded like a herd of elephants.

I followed behind them, giving up on the idea of them being quiet. I checked the pancakes, then flipped them over. I told the boys to set the table and get the orange juice from the fridge.

When I had a stack of pancakes on a plate, I set them on the table and watched them disappear. Two boys ate a lot of food. So I mixed more batter and made a few more for us.

When Abby finally came into the kitchen, her hair was wet, but she wore the clothes she’d had on for the wedding last night.

“You sleep well?” I asked nonchalantly as if I hadn’t been next to her all night.

She nodded as she tucked a chunk of hair behind her ear. “You made pancakes.”

“Thought you might be hungry.”

She smiled softly. “Starved, actually.”

I didn’t see any regret on her face. I wanted more mornings like that. Her in my house, sleeping in my bed. It wasn’t possible yet, but I hoped one day it would be.

Abby grabbed the fresh pancakes and went to sit with the boys while I made coffee. By the time I’d sat down to eat, the boys had cleared their dishes and were playing video games.

“I let Brody play in the morning, so I can drink my coffee in peace.”

“I don’t mind,” Abby said, but she looked uncertain.

“Is everything okay?”

“I’m just thinking about the photos I took last night. I’m eager to start editing.”

I knew what it was like to start a project and want to finish it. “Of course.”

She wasn’t ready for the thoughts and feelings swirling in my head. It was too much, too soon. I’d bide my time and ease her into things slowly.

“We have practice today,” I said more to myself than her. It meant I had an excuse to see her. It wouldn’t be like last night when I had her all to myself. But it was something.

“I’m hoping to get some work done this morning, then spend some time with Hunter.”

“I’d offer to keep Hunter this morning, but I know you said Sundays were your only day with him.”

“Speaking of, we should get going.” She cleared her dishes, and the words asking her to stay got lodged in my throat. I wouldn’t ask her again. She needed to come to me. And she needed time to process the thing between us. To realize we had more than a friends-with-benefits relationship. It had always been more.

“Yeah, I have things to do too.” Even though I didn’t. I didn’t need to work today, and other than baseball practice, we had no plans.

“Thank you for the pancakes,” she said, her smile not quite reaching her eyes.

“Thank you for last night,” I said, my voice low.

Her eyes darted to the living room and back to me.

I didn’t dare kiss her or say anything more. She was clearly uncomfortable with the boys nearby.

Her face smoothed out. “Thanks again for watching Hunter yesterday.”

“Anytime.” I wanted to ask her if she felt the same, but I wasn’t stupid enough to ask her out loud. I kept repeating she needed time.

Abby moved into the living room to tell Hunter it was time to go. There were a lot of groans and protests, but Abby was firm that she needed to get home and do a few things before practice.

I suspected she wanted space and distance from what we’d shared. And I’d give her that. As I watched them gather their things and leave, I wondered how much time she’d need. Would she ever come around?

She arrived at practice late and took off as soon as it was over. I expected her to pull back, but I hoped last night would have brought us closer. I hated that feeling—that I wasn’t good enough for her.

During the week, I tried to focus on work. I looked forward to our afternoons together, but she’d texted to say she had meetings with potential wedding clients all week and wouldn’t be home.

I finished working on her books, typed up a summary of my conclusions and the health of her business. She was steadily growing, but I could see her refusal to pay for help would eventually limit what she could do and her income.

I thought about emailing the results to her, but I wanted an excuse to see her. I wanted time with her alone.

On Thursday, Austin’s case was in the news. He was going to court for his arraignment. There was speculation about whether he’d plead guilty and whether the shop owners would receive compensation for their damages.

Each time I heard it come on TV, I forced myself to listen. I wanted to be ready for anything that happened. Would the kids be talking about it at school? Would they connect the dots and figure out it was Brody’s father?

By the time Brody came home from school, my stomach was tight. I waited for him on the porch, looking for any sign that things hadn’t gone well at school.

Brody’s face was a mask. When we were inside, I asked how his day went. He washed his hands in the bathroom and moved to sit on the stool by the island while I set crackers and apples in front of him.

Brody stared at the food but didn’t take it. “Did Dad plead guilty?”

“What did you hear?” I asked carefully, my stomach dipping.

“Some of the kids are saying he broke into the stores in town. He stole from people.”

“He’s charged with doing those things.” We’d discussed the case when I first came to get him, but he hadn’t brought it up since.

“Did he?”

“I don’t know where the truth lies. Only your father can tell you that.” I just wasn’t sure if we could count on him to tell the truth. Austin had a knack for smoothing over it to get what he wanted.

“He’s in jail, so he must be guilty.”

“That’s not how the legal system works. He was arrested and charged with breaking and entering. He has a court hearing coming up soon. That’s probably why people are talking about it.” I wasn’t sure how much to explain, how much he could understand or process, so I fed him little pieces at a time.

His gaze flew to mine. “Everyone knows?”

“It’s in the news.”

His mouth dropped open. “It is?”

My jaw tightened. “That’s right. A few stores were damaged, money taken. It’s a concern for the town, the shops, and the tourists.”

The sentiment was the locals wanted the case solved and put behind them. That way, they could smooth things over and tell their customers they had nothing to worry about.

“He’s going to jail for a long time.” Brody’s voice was small, defeated.

“I don’t know. But if he did something wrong, then he needs to face the consequences.”

“But what about me?”

“I’ve got you. I’m not going anywhere. I talked to an attorney about custody last week. I’m filing paperwork to name me as your permanent guardian.” I’d never been in any kind of trouble. He could count on me.

Brody was quiet, and I wasn’t sure what to say to reassure him.

“If he did it, then he should go to jail.”

“It’s okay not to feel the same way your classmates do. For them and their parents, it’s black and white, but for you—”

“He’s just my dad.”

“And I know you want him here with you.”

Brody shifted on the stool.

“Are you feeling conflicted about everything?” I wasn’t sure how to put it into words.

“I like living with you.”

“I like it too. Are you feeling guilty about that?”

“A little. Should I want Dad home?”

“There’s nothing wrong about how you’re feeling. You can tell me.”

Brody nodded.

“It’s okay to feel good. It’s okay to be happy. What your father did has nothing to do with you.” And as usual had everything to do with his self-centered ways.

“Do the kids know he’s your father?”

He shot me a look. “They knew his last name. They asked if he was a relative.”

“What did you say?” I held my breath for his answer.

“I told them to fuck off.”

I hung my head. “You get into trouble?”

“The teacher made me go to the support room. I wouldn’t tell them anything.” I made a mental note to call the school in the morning. The counselor knew our situation, but I wanted to keep her apprised of what he was thinking and feeling, so she could help him when I wasn’t there.

“You can’t swear in school. There were other things you could have done.”

He touched his chest. “I was so angry. It just built up.”

“I don’t blame you. We all need practice in reining in our emotions sometimes. And this is an upsetting situation for you.”

“They act like it’s something to talk about. It’s my life.”

“I’m sorry.” My heart pounded in my chest. “Do you think it would help to go to a school where no one knew who your father is?”

“We’d have to move.”

I swallowed. “That’s right.”

“What about baseball?” His voice wavered.

“I’d hate to give it up, but I’d do whatever is best for you. Whatever you want.” Fuck what the counselor said. It couldn’t be better living here where everyone knew his father was no good. They’d think the same thing about him.

“I don’t know. Would we move out of state?”

I cleared my throat, thinking that was likely. We needed to escape the reach of the news story. “We don’t have to figure anything out today.”

“I don’t want to be the kid whose dad’s in jail.”

My stomach sunk. “I don’t want that for you either.”

“I like baseball. I like Hunter.”

“Me too, buddy. Eat something. You’ll feel better.” I had a feeling he probably hadn’t eaten lunch. “I’ll make tacos for dinner.”

It was his favorite, and I wanted him to forget about what happened. As I thawed the meat, I couldn’t help but think it wasn’t going away. Austin would only have more court appearances if he went to trial. Since it affected the community, it would be in the news constantly. There’d be speculation, and it couldn’t help but touch Brody.

Cooking the meat in the pan on the stove, I wondered if I should talk to Austin about it. Ask him to do what was right for his son and not himself. I doubt he’d listen.

“Can I see Dad?”

My shoulders slumped. “If that’s what you want.”

I didn’t want that. I didn’t want him to see his father behind bars, in an orange jumpsuit. Nothing good could come from it, but at the end of the day, he was his father.

Brody chewed his lip before finally saying, “I think I do.”

“You need to be prepared for what it’s like.” I’d bailed him out on more than one occasion, but no charges had ever stuck. He’d never been detained for trial. But the judge had declared him a menace to the community because the owner of the juice shop, Remi.

Austin maintained he had nothing to do with that incident, but I wasn’t sure I believed him. I almost wished he’d plead guilty and save Brody and me from a trial. I might have an opportunity if I saw him in person. The question was—would he listen?

I browned the meat, seasoned it, and scooped it into crunchy taco shells. I set out fixings, cheese, tomatoes, and onions, on the table. Brody dug in, seemingly unaware of my inner turmoil.

That was what I was most worried about. How public Austin’s case was. My first instinct was to pack up and leave. I was prepared to do that. The only thing holding me back was the baseball team and Abby and Hunter.

I wasn’t blind to Abby’s worries. She didn’t think anyone would stay. But then, she maintained we were only friends-with-benefits. She’d never claimed to feel anything more.

Why should I stick around for that? Especially if it wasn’t good for Brody.

The problem was I was in love with her. Even if she didn’t admit to having any feelings for me. I rubbed the ache in my chest.

I was always ready to leave at a moment’s notice. I needed to clean up Austin’s mess one more time. If Austin was sentenced to prison, it would be over. I could move on. His actions wouldn’t affect my life anymore.

The thought of him not being a factor in my life was enticing. I could live where I wanted. I could buy a house. I could finally attempt a long-term relationship. But where would I be living when that happened? I’d told Abby we might need to leave Maryland to avoid the publicity surrounding his case.

I couldn’t imagine a life where Abby and Hunter weren’t included. The future felt empty without them in it. But I had no control over how she felt about me. She’d told me all along we weren’t anything.

I bit into my first taco as Brody was finishing up. He rose and took three steps toward the living room. “Don’t forget to clear your dishes.”

He shot me a sheepish grin. “Oh, right. I forgot.”

When would picking up after himself finally be a habit? When would I get used to living in a new place without Abby and Hunter nearby? I loved living in this town and coaching the baseball team. And I loved Abby and Hunter.

The thought of leaving sent searing pain through my chest. I set the taco aside as Brody put his dish in the dishwasher and walked out of the room.

I cleaned up my dishes without eating. A sick feeling settled in my stomach.

My phone buzzed on the counter. It was a message from Abby.

Abby: Are you okay?

I huffed out a laugh. I couldn’t remember the last time I was okay with what Austin did. I wished he was a nonentity in my life. I wanted him to be. I was so sick and tired of him causing upheaval. I wanted to make my own decisions for once. I wanted to do what was right for Brody and me.

Nick: Not really.

Abby: You need company?

I would love if I could get lost in her, but I needed to be clear-headed, so I could make the right decision.

Nick: Brody needs me tonight.

Abby: You need to take care of yourself too.

I didn’t answer her because she was right, but I had no idea how to do that and balance it with what Brody needed.

I went into the living room to see if Brody needed help with his homework. When it was done, I let him play video games. He needed the mental escape, just like I did. We played for a couple of hours as I tried to put everything out of my mind.

I wasn’t quite successful and when Brody finally went to bed, I ran over the scenarios in my head. Move far away where we’d never hear Austin’s name again. Stay there and who knew what Brody would have to endure. The best option for Brody was leaving.