Chapter 20

Twenty

Nick

H unter was coming over today, and I was nervous. I tried to tell myself it was just a playdate, but logically, I knew it wasn’t. I was doing Abby a favor. A very big favor. And I could understand her hesitation. It wasn’t just a couple of hours playing with Brody. The wedding festivities lasted most of the day.

I couldn’t believe Hunter’s father didn’t want to see him. It was heartbreaking and frustrating. I knew Abby had years to get used to it, but I didn’t know how she did it.

When a knock sounded on the front door, Brody ran to get it. I could hear the boys talking excitedly, then they dashed past me to get to the backyard. Brody and Hunter were always up for a game of wiffle ball. I’d bought more balls for the occasion since most ended up in the neighbors’ backyards.

Abby stood in the foyer, chewing her lip.

She was wondering if leaving Hunter with me was a good idea, and I sensed it wasn’t just about my ability to babysit. She was worried Hunter would get attached to me. The thought of being close to Hunter as an extension of Abby warmed my heart, but I couldn’t tell her how I was feeling—not when she’d set the rules.

I smiled, trying to reassure her. “Don’t worry. I’ve got this. We’ll play baseball, eat, and watch a movie.”

She took a shallow breath, her gaze finally meeting mine. “His dad called the other day. He wanted to see him.”

A mix of feelings flooded my system—shock and jealousy. “Is that what you wanted to do? You could have cancelled. I would have understood.”

It cost me a lot to say those words. Her ex might have been Hunter’s biological father, but he didn’t deserve the little moments much less the big moments with him. He’d left Hunter and Abby when they were at their most vulnerable. He couldn’t just ask for more eight years later.

Abby shook her head. “I told him no.”

There was something more to the story. I stepped closer. “Have you done that before?”

Tears sparkled in her eyes. “I used to think it was good for Hunter to see him, so I accommodated him when he called.”

I dropped my head back slightly. “You’d rearrange your schedule to make it happen.”

“I’m not proud of that. It made Brooke mad, so I stopped talking about it.” Her voice was so small, so vulnerable.

I could hear the boys talking and laughing and the crack of the plastic bat outside, so I took a chance that they might walk in and see us and stepped into her space, resting my hands on her shoulders. “You didn’t do anything wrong in this situation. You did what you thought was best at the time.”

Her gaze lifted to mine as her palms came to rest on my chest. “I don’t like the way it makes Hunter feel when he shows up out of the blue wanting to see him. I don’t think it’s good for him.”

“I don’t either.” She’d shared something big with me, and I wanted to do the same. “Austin called the other night, too. He wants me to bring Brody to see him in jail.”

“Are you going to?”

I shook my head. “I don’t think so. I don’t want him to see his father like that. But I’ll talk to his counselor and see what she says.”

I had a feeling she’d encourage him to see his father at some point. Whenever Brody was ready. I wasn’t sure I’d be ready. I wanted to stay far away from him.

“That’s hard.”

“What do you want to do with Hunter’s dad?”

She chuckled without any humor. “I want to tell him to fuck off. He hasn’t even been paying child support. The amount he’s ordered to pay doesn’t put a dent in what Hunter needs to live.”

“What are you going to do about it?” I wanted to support her but not sway her decision. It was important she made it on her own.

“I think I want to talk to an attorney.”

“Not a bad idea. Get their advice.”

“I want to insulate Hunter from everything, but I know that’s unrealistic.”

“You’re a great mom.”

She smiled tremulously. “I don’t know about that.”

“You continually impress me. I don’t know anyone stronger.” The way she’d gone on after her ex left her was impressive.

I cupped her cheek, and she leaned into it. I took a deep breath, wishing I could press for more with her. But I didn’t want to be like her ex, bulldozing her to get what I wanted. She needed to realize it on her own.

“Dad, you coming? We need a catcher.”

I stepped back from Abby and glanced outside to see Brody still in the backyard. He hadn’t seen us, but he could have.

“I should get going,” Abby said, stepping toward the doorway. “Thanks for watching him.”

“Anytime, Abby.” I didn’t want her turning to her ex. I wanted to be the one she counted on. Even as the voice in my head reminded me I wasn’t necessarily staying in town. If Austin was sentenced to a long prison term, it might not be the place for him.

“I’ll send you pictures. Let you know how it’s going.”

Her shoulders relaxed as she smiled over her shoulder. “Thank you for doing this.”

I wanted to promise her everything, but that was all I could offer at the moment. I touched her lower back. “I’ve got Hunter. You can relax and do your job.”

The muscles under my fingers relaxed.

“Thank you. I really appreciate it.”

I knew how hard it was for her to ask and receive help, so I was pleased she trusted me.

Watching her walk away and get into her SUV, I wanted to grab on to her and hold her tight with both hands, but it wasn’t an option.

I closed the door and headed to the kids in the backyard.

There was no one saying I had to move, other than my anxiety that Brody wouldn’t fit in if his father was sentenced to a long prison term. But wasn’t I doing the same thing as Abby? I was bending to the will of another, morphing my life to please someone else. When did I get the future I wanted? The possibility of having everything I wanted pierced my heart. I wasn’t even sure what that was.

Buying a home in Annapolis? Moving away from Austin’s reputation? Having Abby and Hunter in my life?

Not having an answer, I grabbed my glove and tried to shake off the uncomfortable feeling that my thinking was fundamentally flawed. Crouching behind home plate, I focused on Hunter. I needed to pay attention, so I didn’t get hit in the face. Hunter’s fastball was only getting harder and faster. I needed to be present with the boys, not wonder about the what-ifs.

A bitter thought passed through my mind when Hunter did his windup. I’d never had to worry about the future because it was decided for me. I quit baseball because Austin needed me. I moved to Annapolis because Brody needed me. Maybe it was time to eliminate the external influences.

Maybe I should take a cue from Abby’s change of heart about her ex. We needed to do what was best for us and our boys, not worry about their fathers. They’d made their choices, and it was time for them to live with the consequences.

I let out a breath when Hunter unleashed his fastball. It landed with a sting in the palm of my glove. “Holy— Are you faster than last week?”

Hunter smiled smugly. “I’ve been practicing.”

“That your four-seam?” I tried showing him the four-seam fastball in practice last week, but he struggled with it. My impression of Hunter was sports came easy to him, and I was worried he wouldn’t want to keep working at it.

He smiled wider. “I practiced, and now I’m faster.”

I tossed the ball back to him and slammed a fist into my glove. “Nice. Let me see it again.”

I crouched into position as he wound up again.

Brody stepped up to the plate this time.

“Back up in the box. He’s throwing fast,” I advised.

“I know. I know,” Brody grumbled.

He was so used to my tweaks and suggestions; he tended to get annoyed. But Hunter soaked it up. He was eager to learn everything.

I was excited for the spring season. I was confident I could mold the kids into a good team. If I had a few years with them? They sky was the limit.

What if I stayed? What if I made Annapolis our home? What if Abby and I could work things out, and we could really be together? We could be honest with the boys; maybe even move in together. The possibilities felt good.

Happiness and contentment flowed through me, making my throws harder and more accurate. I never wanted the feeling to end.

I didn’t want Abby to get cold feet and put distance between us. But the problem was that I couldn’t control her.

All I could do was make positive steps in my life. And hope she felt the same way in the end.

We played ball until the boys complained about being hungry. I ordered pizza and made a salad. We ate outside on the deck. I enjoyed having both boys there. It was easier to play, but they were becoming good friends. It warmed my heart to see. That connection I had with Abby seemed to be present between them.

“I wish my dad could be as cool as you,” Hunter said.

My heart pinched. I wasn’t prepared for that conversation, and I wasn’t sure how Abby would want me to deal with it. “I’m sorry your dad hasn’t been there for you.”

“It sucks.”

“Tell me about it. My dad’s in jail,” Brody said.

I sucked in a breath. Brody never spoke about his dad’s circumstances. I wondered how Hunter would handle it.

Hunter’s eyes widened. “Seriously?”

“He stole stuff. He wasn’t nice.” Brody’s shoulders lowered.

I knew he saw it as his father chasing a different life from the one with his son, and I couldn’t disagree with him. It sure felt like that to me too. “The important thing is that you have me, Brody. And, Hunter, you have your mother.”

I wanted to tack on and me , but I couldn’t make promises I might not be able to keep.

Hunter shook his head. “You won’t stick around either.”

My heart stuttered. “Why do you think that?”

“It’s a feeling I get, and my mom says it to my aunt sometimes. She says no one sticks around unless it’s family. But my dad is my family, and he’s not here.”

“Family doesn’t have to be blood. It doesn’t have to be your biological mother or father. It’s the people around you, who are there for you, who love you exactly as you are.”

“Yeah?” Hunter’s gaze was fixed on mine.

Brody was paying close attention to my words too.

“I think when you let go of the expectations, you open your heart to unlimited possibilities. Your friends, teachers, coaches, and other people can be there for you—like a father.”

Hunter nodded. “I like that idea.”

“Me too.” They ate quietly for a couple of minutes. Then Brody stuffed the last piece of pizza in his mouth and spoke around it, “Want to play?”

I shook my head as they took off. I promised I’d keep Abby apprised of what we were doing, so after I was finished cleaning up dinner, I sent her a few pictures from the day.

She thanked me again for watching Hunter. So I asked how it was going at the wedding. Instead of responding with a text, she sent a picture of her in front of a white cake with roses cascading down the layers, a huge smile on her face.

Without considering my thoughts, I responded with only, “Beautiful.”

She was gorgeous—and not because of the dress she’d worn to fit in at the wedding. It was the passion I saw on her face. She loved capturing the beauty and love at weddings. It was a challenge for her to get the perfect shot, the one the bride would mount over her fireplace. I saw that look in her eyes in the photo.

Nick: What time do you think you’ll be done?

I hadn’t asked because I wanted her to pick up Hunter. I was just making conversation. I regretted it as soon as my phone rang and her name popped up on the screen. “Is everything okay?”

“It’s great. We just ate, and now they’re playing ball again.”

She hummed in my ear. I could hear the buzz around her, indicating she was still at the reception.

“I’m not sure what time we’ll be done. The bride asked the venue to extend their hours.”

“Ouch.”

“I know. I’m exhausted. Sometimes, the bridal couple will still let me leave early, but not this one. She wants me to stay, so I don’t miss anything.” Her voice was low.

“You capture the important pictures?” I asked, keeping an eye on the boys so that they weren’t hitting balls in other people’s yards.

“I did, but honestly, the pictures don’t get better as the night goes on.”

“I’d imagine everyone’s drinking, and it gets wild.”

She chuckled in my ear, the sound husky. “You’re right. Makeup smudges, hair falls out of the updo, and dresses get stained.”

“I can’t imagine they’d want that documented.”

She sighed. “It’s up to me to find the beauty. I’ll get a pic of the little girl asleep in her mother’s arms.”

“That sounds sweet.”

“Exactly.” Abby fell silent, and we remained on the phone, connecting without needing to fill the space.

“Are you sure you’re okay there? I can have Brooke come get Hunter for the night. It might be past bedtime before I can get out of here.”

“Don’t worry about us. If you’re late, I’ll have the boys sleep in the living room. It’ll be like camping out.”

“Hunter will love that. That’s what he and Cammie do.”

“Good.” I didn’t want her to worry about Hunter. I’d take care of him.

“I’d better get back to work. Thanks again. I owe you one.”

I almost said she didn’t, but I liked the idea of cashing in. On spending more time with her. “Just get here when you can. No rush.”

“Thanks, Nick.” Then she ended the call.

When it got dark, I called the boys in for video games while I made popcorn. I set up blankets and pillows, so they could watch movies in front of the TV. They fell asleep around nine.

I’d gotten a few messages from Abby saying she hoped she’d be able to leave soon. Each time, I told her not to worry.

With both boys asleep, I was relaxed.

I turned off the TV’s sound and went outside to drink a beer. The stars were clearly visible tonight, and one brighter star might have been a planet. I was searching on my phone to determine whether one was supposed to be visible tonight when I heard a soft knock on the door. A second later, my phone buzzed with an incoming text. Abby had arrived.