Sixteen

SIXTEEN

Josie

"This was wonderful, Huck. I think I'm going to get used to this and never want to leave."

Maybe that wasn't the right thing to say, but I was quickly learning there wasn't anything I could say that Huck would make me feel bad about. Not only that, but after what I'd been through, what I'd survived, I was beginning to think it wasn't wise to hold myself back from taking chances.

Of course, it was one thing to say something like I'd just said and to take action to do something so forward. I wasn't quite sure I'd built up that much courage just yet.

Last night, I'd spent my first night at Huck's place after leaving the hospital. It was so comfortable, and I felt such peace, much like I had when I sank down into the bathtub earlier in the day yesterday.

Whether that feeling was the result of being away from Kurt and out of the hospital, or if it was simply about being here, knowing Huck was here with me, I wasn't sure. It was likely a culmination of everything that had me feeling the way that I was.

It became apparent yesterday that there was going to be an adjustment period for me when it came to my new living arrangements. And I guess I realized that was to be expected. Nobody could just fall right into a new routine in a new place with a new person like it was nothing.

But my biggest issue was that I hadn't anticipated everything to be as wonderful as it had been. Not only had I experienced Huck's warmth, kindness, and generosity, but I'd also had the lovely bath, the luxurious bed, and the home-cooked dinner.

Now that a new day had dawned, I suspected the lavish lifestyle was going to diminish slightly. Of course, I didn't believe that would be a bad thing. I figured Huck wanted to make the start of my temporary stay to be memorable in the best way. But I didn't think it would be something that would continue until the day I left.

So far, Huck was proving me wrong, which was why I'd made the statement about never wanting to leave.

Because when I finally woke this morning and made my way downstairs, Huck set about making breakfast for us. We'd just finished eating, and I couldn't seem to hold back what I was feeling.

Sitting across from me at the table, Huck's expression turned serious. Or, well, more serious than it had been from the moment I'd descended the stairs and he'd started fussing over me to make sure I didn't move around too much and injure myself.

With that look on his face, he deadpanned, "I can think of nothing I'd love more."

I blinked my eyes in surprise. "What? Did you just say you'd love for me to get used to this so I'd never want to leave?"

He dipped his chin slightly, his eyes pinned on mine. "I've gone for so many years without having you in my life, Josie. I'd happily welcome you here with open arms."

Huck said that like he hadn't already done that very thing. God, ever since he'd walked into Betty's and saw me waitressing for the first time, he had been nothing but comfortable with me.

Granted, there hadn't been any reason not to be. It wasn't like we'd had some horrible falling out. Our lives had simply taken us in different directions.

But Huck had this level of confidence about him. It was in everything he did and said. And the mere idea of restraining his thoughts when a conversation like this popped up just wasn't an option for a man like him.

For him, it was like no time had passed, like we'd never been separated at all.

"That's really sweet of you to say, Huck. Like I shared during dinner last night, I've missed you a lot, so I can understand the sentiment."

After taking a sip of his coffee and setting down his mug, he shared, "Just to be clear, I'm not simply saying that to indicate that I've missed you, Josie. That much is obvious. I said what I said because it's the truth. If you like it here, if you're comfortable, I don't care if you never leave."

I swallowed hard at his admission.

It was a wonderful thought, a generous offer.

But was he truly serious? How would that play out for the rest of his life? Did he believe there was the potential for something more between us, or was he simply trying to be a good friend?

Regardless of the answer, it probably wouldn't have been in my best interests to become dependent on someone like Huck. As good as his intentions might have been, even as comfortable and safe as I felt with him, I needed to get to a place where I was reliant on myself again, where I didn't risk my life because I had no other options but to stay somewhere that wasn't the best for me.

At the very least, I thought it was important for him to understand my intention. "I appreciate that. But I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to feel like I had a real purpose again in my life. I want to be somebody I can be proud of."

His features softened, a small smile forming on his face. "And I can respect that. We're not making decisions today on any of this. For now, you just need a place to stay that's safe and comfortable while you heal and get back on your feet."

No matter what he might have been feeling, Huck never put any pressure on me. He might have easily shared his position and had an idea of how he wanted things, but ultimately, he was leaving it all up to me.

So, I returned his smile. "You've always been such a wonderful friend to me. I feel really lucky to have you in my life."

He reached for my hand, gave it a squeeze, and promised, "And that's going to be permanent now. I'm not going anywhere."

God, I hoped that was the truth. "Thank you."

"Don't mention it. Now, you've been up for a little while, and you've gotten some food in you. How are you feeling? Do you need a nap, or did you have something you wanted to do?"

My eyes slid to the side, where the doors that led to his deck were. Then I brought my attention to our empty mugs and plates briefly before returning my focus to Huck. "I don't feel so tired that I think I need a nap, but I'm definitely not ready to go run a marathon, either. I was kind of wondering if I'd be allowed to have a second cup of tea so I could enjoy it out on the deck. I liked being out there yesterday with you. I think I spent far too much time inside at the hospital, and I'd love nothing more than to feel the sunshine on my face before it gets too hot outside."

Huck picked up his plate and moved it off to the side. Then he rested his forearms on the table as he took my hand in both of his. "For as long as you are here, I want you to treat this house like your home. That means, if you want to spend your entire day sitting on the deck while soaking up the sun, you are more than welcome to do it. If you want to lounge on the couch and watch movies, you can do it. But the most important thing I need you to understand is that you don't need to ask me for permission for anything. I'm not going to tell you whether you're allowed to do or have something. The food and drinks here are for you just as much as they are for me. The only time I want you to ask me about having a cup of tea or another helping of ice cream or any other thing is when you're asking me to help you by getting it for you. You're allowed to have whatever you want, whenever you want. Okay?"

I dropped my gaze from his. I hadn't even realized how what I said would have come across. And that was likely because nobody had ever made me believe I didn't need to ask for permission.

"Josie, look at me," Huck urged gently. Pressing my lips together, I returned my attention to his face. "Do you want some tea?"

I gave him a nod.

He smiled at me, gave my hand a squeeze, and stood before reaching for our mugs and getting me another cup of tea while he refilled his coffee. Then he led me out to the deck and sat down in the chair beside me.

And after soaking up the early morning rays of sunshine for a bit, I decided I wanted to talk about something that had been on my mind. "I don't want you to take this the wrong way, but I want you to know I'd be okay by myself if you have something you need to do."

"Did you want some time alone?" he asked.

I shook my head. "No. No, I enjoy spending time with you. It's just that, I've been thinking, and I realize you've been doing a lot for me lately. I don't want you to feel like I'm expecting you to drop everything in your life to help me."

"I don't feel that way," he assured me. "I like spending time with you, too."

Relieved to know this wasn't about some sort of obligation he felt, I pushed for more. "Can I ask you a question?"

"You can ask me anything you'd like."

"How have you not left my side?"

Confusion washed over Huck's expression, his brows pulling together. "Pardon?"

"It's been days," I started. "With the exception of the one time that I wasn't even aware of when you went to… deal with Kurt, and when you went home to shower because your mom made you, you've been with me. It's been a long time. How are you here now and not at work?"

Huck seemed stunned by my question. It wasn't shock in the way that people experience shock when something unexpected happens. It seemed to be more about disbelief at what he was hearing.

And that surprised me, because I didn't think there was anything about what I'd asked that was illogical or outlandish.

Following several beats of silence, he replied, "I'm here because you need me. That's it. That's the only reason."

He was here because I needed him.

I loved everything about what that made me feel, and perhaps that should have settled it. Unfortunately, I was still left with questions.

"But what about work? Don't you have to work?"

Huck offered a slight nod and said, "Generally, yes, I do need to work. Right now, I'm here."

"So, you're not worried about losing your job because you're here?"

For the first time since we sat outside, Huck laughed. It was a relief to see the amusement in his features instead of the confused or serious stare. "Do you recall the stories I told you about some of my coworkers when you were still in the hospital?"

"Of course."

"When any of those men were going through what they were going through, the rest of us picked up the slack," he explained. "That's what we do. That's always what it's been about. We don't leave men behind—not on the battlefield, and not in the worst times we experience here at home. You might not recall him, but when you called me to come and get you, my best friend, Greyson, came with me. He knows what I went through with you, and he's working with the rest of the guys in the self-defense unit to cover my absence right now. It's temporary. They know that. And if the tables are ever turned where I need to do the same for them, they won't have to think twice about it."

Understanding and a sense of gratitude washed over me. I was relieved to know that Huck didn't need to be concerned about losing his job and that he knew he could depend on the people he worked with to cover for him.

"What about… money? Even if they're able to work out scheduling and coverage for you, won't this time off affect your income?"

He shook his head. "I've got vacation time."

I cocked a brow. "And this is your idea of a good time? That hardly seems fair."

Huck reached his hand out and rested it gently on my forearm. "I'm having the time of my life, honey."

Was it too soon for me to feel like I was falling in love?

With that admission in hand, I couldn't argue with him. Even if I was a little slower to move or felt pain in several spots on my body, there was no question that being with Huck was the most enjoyable experience of my life.

So, I settled in and enjoyed the rest of my morning on Huck's deck with a cup of tea in my hand and undeniable warmth in my heart.

It was several hours later when a knock came at the door.

After spending our morning outside on his deck, Huck and I came inside, where he made lunch for the both of us.

I was feeling particularly exhausted afterward, likely the result of having spent so much time in the sun while still trying to heal. So, Huck didn't hesitate to usher me into the living room, where he made up a comfortable spot on the couch for me to rest and relax.

We wound up spending the better part of the afternoon there, and Huck even gave me full control of the remote. My eyes had drifted shut at some point, but I'd woken up the moment I heard the knock at the door.

As I peeled my eyes open, I found Huck already walking toward the door. Three more knocks sounded before he made it there, and I attempted to get myself upright again.

Huck hadn't mentioned he was expecting any visitors, so this was completely unexpected. Maybe it was just a delivery driver needing a signature for a package.

I'd just barely gotten myself upright again when I heard voices approaching. Frantically, I glanced around and felt my nerves ratchet up. Who was Huck bringing in here when I looked like such a mess and felt so unprepared?

A moment later, I breathed a sigh of relief. "Bonnie?"

Huck's mom tipped her head to one side as her eyes roamed over me. Huck was holding two reusable grocery bags in his hands. "How are you doing, Josie?"

"I'm okay. It's been a slow process. Is everything alright?"

She moved toward me and sat down. "Everything is perfectly fine. I stopped at the grocery store to pick up a few things for the two of you."

"Do you have more in the car, Mom?" Huck interrupted.

"Yes, there are two more bags of groceries there as well as the dinner I prepared for you and Josie," she said.

"You made dinner for us?" I asked.

Bonnie reached for my good hand, took it in hers, and said, "Dessert, too. I wanted to do something to help. And since I had a feeling my son wouldn't be interested in having me take care of you in the physical sense, I figured making a meal was the best bet."

"That was very sweet of you. Thank you."

"You're welcome. It doesn't feel like enough, though."

I was so caught up in the conversation I was having with Bonnie, I was startled when Huck declared, "I'm going to run out and grab everything from Mom's car. I'll be back."

"She'll be fine with me for a few minutes, Huck. Go do what you need to do," Bonnie ordered.

I couldn't stop myself from smiling, loving the way she was with her son. It didn't matter that he was a fully grown man. She wouldn't hesitate to order him around, doing it in a way that was only ever loving.

Once Huck turned and moved toward the kitchen to unload the bags his mom had already brought in before heading back outside to grab more, Bonnie focused her attention on me and asked, "So, how are you holding up? Did you sleep okay last night?"

"I did," I assured her. "I'm not sure there's ever going to be a time when I say it's wonderful sleeping with this sling on, but aside from that, everything was wonderful."

"And what about my son? He's taking good care of you, helping you, and getting you whatever you need, right?"

For several long moments, I simply stared at Bonnie, trying to determine if her questions were serious. Surely, she couldn't believe that Huck had been anything less than amazing. But the expectant look on her face indicated she was waiting for an answer, hoping I would tell her what she wanted to hear.

After all that she'd done for me, I couldn't stand to make her worry any longer. But I couldn't bring myself to share the specifics of just how sweet and tender Huck had been. Although she was a nurse and likely wouldn't have thought twice about it, something made me want to keep what happened yesterday when I'd take a bath between Huck and me. It felt too private, too intimate.

So, I found a way to give Bonnie what she needed without revealing the details and said, "I'm not sure I'd be doing half as well as I am now if it hadn't been for Huck. He's gone beyond the call of duty to care for me. I don't think I could ever express to you just how fortunate I feel to have him in my life right now."

Pride filled her expression as she offered a slight nod of understanding. "I'm glad. Is there anything else I can do for you?"

"Bonnie, you went grocery shopping and made dinner for us," I reasoned. "What else could I possibly need other than food and a safe place to stay?"

"I just… well, I'm just worried about you."

Tears pricked my eyes. I didn't want to cry, but it was overwhelming to hear the genuine concern in her voice. I turned my hand in hers, gave her fingers a squeeze, and rasped, "You have no idea how much that means to me."

"Oh, don't go getting upset now," she advised. "My son will probably kick me out and never let me come back."

I laughed and assured her, "I won't let Huck do that."

"Won't let me do what?"

Bonnie and I turned our heads to the side and saw Huck had entered the room. I pressed my lips together to stifle my laughter while Bonnie remained quiet beside me.

Huck lifted a curious brow. "Maybe I don't want to know what you two are up to."

"It's better that way," Bonnie warned him.

"So, are you staying with us for dinner tonight?" I asked her.

She shook her head. "No. No, I just wanted to drop off something for you two to have and visit with you for a little bit."

"Oh, are you sure?"

"I'm positive."

"Well, I'm glad for the visit all the same," I told her.

As a smile washed over her expression, I felt a wave of appreciation move through me. But I couldn't ignore the twinge of guilt I felt as my heart squeezed with regret.

If my life hadn't gotten so out of control all those years ago, maybe I could have saved myself so much heartache if I'd found a way to remain in contact with Bonnie following Huck's enlistment. How different would my life have been?

Bonnie stayed and visited with us for a little while longer before she left. It was wonderful to have her there, and I enjoyed catching up with her.

No sooner had she left, Huck and I had the delicious dinner she'd made for us. And when he brought out the dessert, I declared, "Okay, I think it's official."

"What is?" Huck asked.

"Between you and your mom, I'm feeling so well cared for and unbelievably spoiled. Even after I get myself back on my feet, I'm never going to let the two of you out of my life."

Huck grinned at me. "That's good, honey. Because I don't think I could survive without you in my life after this.

I loved that he felt that way, because it communicated the sentiment perfectly.

Survival would be difficult for me, too, if I had to move forward from here without having Huck in my life in some form or another.