Fifteen

FIFTEEN

Josie

"Now what?"

That question came from Huck, and all I could think was that I was in trouble.

I'd been out of the hospital for only a couple of hours, and things were already so unexpected. Challenging, even.

Maybe it shouldn't have been that way, given what I knew about the man who'd stepped up to care for me. I thought I already knew just what kind of guy Huck was, but now I was getting the opportunity to see him in such a different light.

He was even better than I had originally thought, and I believed that was saying something, considering I already deemed him to be the best man I'd ever met.

Granted, the competition in that area wasn't tough. I had no choice when it came to my father, of course, but when it came to romantic relationships, I hadn't exactly chosen well and allowed a good man into my life. So, the bar hadn't been set high, but even if it had been, I had a feeling Huck would have easily soared above it.

Huck had just finished helping me get dressed after going out of his way to wash my hair for me. I still hadn't recovered from that. Everything from his willingness to put me in one of his shirts to the way he ran his fingers through my hair and along my scalp. He hadn't simply washed my hair. He'd given me an experience unlike anything I'd ever come across in my life. His fingers applied just the right amount of pressure, and he was gentle.

God, he was so gentle.

And I loved the way he looked at me whenever I had my eyes open and on him. Most of the eye contact came after I was out of the bathtub when he'd helped me get myself dressed. Or, I guess, when he'd technically been the one to dress me.

I didn't know if there was a word to be found in the dictionary that would accurately describe what those few minutes felt like. A shiver ran down my spine as I recalled the way his knuckles accidentally brushed up against my legs when he was helping me with my underwear. I was convinced I could still feel the spot his fingers touched when his hands made it to my hips. And I knew I'd never forget the look in his eyes when he stood before me after doing that.

The air crackled between us, my heart hammering in my chest at the tenderness he showed me while Huck's eyes told me so much more than words ever could. He hadn't been lying when he said it would be his honor to wash my hair. It wasn't about the specific thing he'd done; it was about him wanting to take care of me.

And that was precisely the reason I knew I was in trouble. Because I didn't want to wind up disappointed. I didn't want to have expectations about just how deep Huck's concern for me went and read more into something that wasn't actually there simply because I was desperate to be loved.

I refused to put that burden on Huck—he was already doing more than he needed to for me.

"Now what?" I repeated, a question in my tone.

With a slight nod, he said, "Well, it's your first afternoon out of the hospital, and you've just had a bath and gotten dressed. We also got your hair dried for you, so I'm curious how you're feeling, and what you'd like to do now?"

Despite how wired I felt having Huck's hands on me, the truth was that I now felt like I'd just finished running a marathon. "Can I be honest?"

"Josie, honey, I never want you to think you need to be anything but honest with me," he returned.

"I just… well, I feel bad, because even though the bath was relaxing, I'm terribly exhausted," I confessed.

He shrugged, seemingly indifferent to what I'd just shared. "So, take a nap. There's nothing to feel bad about."

"Take a nap?"

"You're tired, so you should get some rest," he reasoned.

"But I don't think taking a nap late in the afternoon is going to help me get myself into some kind of routine," I explained.

Huck let out a laugh. "You don't need to be on a routine. You're trying to heal your body right now. And if you're feeling tired, your body is probably trying to tell you something. It's going to take you time to get back to normal. That's okay."

He made it sound so easy. And I had to admit he had a good point. My body needed to heal, and rest was the only way that would happen quickly. I'd been so conditioned to work through any pain I'd experienced at the hands of Kurt that the idea of napping in the middle of the day never dawned on me.

"Okay," I agreed. "I'll take a nap, then. Are you sure you won't mind?"

Tipping his head to the side, a hint of amusement in his eyes, he asked, "Why would I mind?"

"I don't know. I just don't want you to feel like I'm taking advantage of your kindness and not even staying awake to talk to you or do something useful," I answered.

Concern and a hint of frustration washed over him. "You don't need to do anything other than heal yourself, Josie. That's all I want. I invited you to come and stay with me so you'd have a safe place to be. If it would help, try to look at this as you would if you and I were roommates. I'd have no say in how you spend your day, so you can do whatever you like. If taking a nap is what you need, then that's what you need. There's nothing to question about it."

The man was perfect.

Truly.

It irritated him to think I had placed expectations on myself for recovering from what I'd been through. I'd been so accustomed to being beaten down—both physically and emotionally—and Huck wouldn't stand for it.

But as wonderful as everything he'd just said was, I couldn't help but focus on one small detail. He wanted me to pretend we were roommates.

Sure, that was probably exactly what I needed to do, but deep down, it was the very opposite of what I knew I'd want in the long term.

I struggled to find the words, so I simply nodded at him.

Huck didn't hesitate to help me get to where I was going. He settled his hand on the small of my back and urged me forward. Within seconds, I was standing beside the bed, and Huck was pulling the blankets back before he held his hand out to me and helped me into it.

Once I was situated, he asked, "Are you good? Do you need anything?"

He'd already done so much for me. "No. I think I just need to close my eyes for a little bit."

With a nod of approval and understanding, Huck said, "Okay. I'll run downstairs and grab you a glass of water and your phone. This way, if you need anything, you can just call or text me and won't need to yell."

"That's a good idea. Thank you, Huck."

He smiled at me. "You're welcome, Josie. Close your eyes and get some rest. I'll be quiet when I bring that stuff in here for you."

A moment later, Huck was gone.

For the first few seconds of being on my own, I took stock of the situation. My body seemed to sink deeper into the mattress instinctively, because I felt so comfortable and safe.

My mind had wanted to replay the day over and over in my head, to recall how sweet Huck had been with me in the bathroom, but the exhaustion I felt mixed with the security of being with someone I trusted made it impossible to keep my eyes open.

Before I knew it, before Huck returned, my eyes drifted shut, and I was asleep.

When my eyes opened, I sucked in a harsh breath. It sent a wave of pain to my ribs, causing me to wince. I'd been caught off guard, unsure of where I was.

Then it all came flooding back to me.

I was in the guest bedroom of Huck's house after he'd brought me here, washed my hair for me, and helped me get dressed into clothes he'd sent his mom out to purchase for me.

I would be forever in his debt.

And even though he'd made it clear he had no expectations of me, I still struggled not to feel like a bad houseguest.

So, I decided to go in search of Huck. I pushed the blanket away from my body and eased myself out of the bed. Leaving the room, I moved toward the top of the stairs, reached my good hand out to the railing, and slowly descended them.

I was three steps from the bottom when Huck appeared.

"Hey, how'd you sleep? Were you comfortable?" he questioned me.

Huck's kindness was unmatched.

"To be honest, I'm surprised I woke up, because I've never slept in something as luxurious as your guest bed," I answered. "It was wonderful."

A satisfied look washed over him. "Good. I'm glad to hear that. Do you feel better now that you've gotten some sleep?"

I nodded. "I do, and I'm hoping I can make it to at least nine o'clock before I need to get back into bed."

Huck laughed, the sound making something squeeze at the center of my chest. "I'm sure you'll make a valiant effort either way."

Before I had the chance to respond, my stomach growled loudly. Huck's eyes dropped there momentarily before they returned to my face.

"Hungry?" he asked.

"Oh, I'm so embarrassed," I whispered, feeling the heat of my embarrassment creep over my skin.

Huck took me by the hand, easing me down the remaining stairs, and said, "Come on. I'll get dinner put in the oven."

My body came to an abrupt halt. "What?"

"Are you okay?"

"Did you just say you'll get dinner put in the oven?" I asked him.

Huck's brows pulled together, curiosity washing over him. "Yes. I didn't put it in sooner, because I didn't know how long you'd be asleep. I figured I'd wait until you were awake to do that, so we could eat it hot together. It should only need about twenty-five minutes. But since I know you're so hungry, we can start with the salads now. Will that work?"

I didn't know what to do.

When Huck had offered to wash my hair and help me get dressed, I had assumed that was going to be the extent of his compassion. I didn't realize it was possible for him to do anything else beyond that to have me struggling to catch my breath.

Tears welled in my eyes as I stared into his handsome face.

Huck took two steps back in my direction, and when he was mere inches away, he spoke. His voice was so soft and filled with concern. "Josie, what's wrong?"

A tear rolled down my cheek, Huck's eyes watching it go. That was the moment I was sure I'd witnessed his heart breaking.

"You made dinner," I rasped.

"Yes. I prepared some chicken, potatoes, broccoli, and salad. Why are you upset?"

I shook my head slowly. "I'm not upset, Huck. I'm… I'm… nobody has ever made dinner for me."

Huck looked disappointed for a few seconds before determination washed over him. He placed his hand on the side of my face, cupped my cheek, and stroked his thumb over the wet trail left behind by my tear. "Well, I'm sorry to hear that, but I'm glad I could be the first to do it for you. Will you join me?"

My eyes searched his face for an answer to the question in my head. How had everything in my life been so awful, so horrific, except for him? How was it possible I'd gotten so lucky to have Huck in my life? I didn't find any answers lingering in his gaze, so I decided it was best to respond to his question. "Yes. Yes, I'd love to have dinner with you."

Without delay, Huck led me out to the kitchen, where he popped the baking dish into the preheated oven, dressed the salad, and urged me toward the table, so we could sit down to start eating while we waited for the rest of the food.

We both took a few bites in silence before I said, "I can't believe I'm here."

"What do you mean?"

"That's a good question. I guess I'm technically referring to me being here in your home, but mostly, I think I'm in shock that I'm sitting across from you, about to have dinner with you after all these years."

He pressed his lips together, and it quickly became clear it wasn't because he wanted to stop himself from smiling. Something else had taken over.

"It's been far too many years, Josie. I hate to think how much time I wasted, and I wish I would have set out to locate you instead of stumbling upon you in a diner a few weeks ago," he shared.

I hated that he seemed to be carrying this guilt around, and I thought I could find a way to alleviate it by pointing out the positive. "While I can't say I wouldn't have loved to have you back in my life sooner, I have to admit that it was a wonderful surprise when you came into the diner that day."

Instantly, Huck's features softened, and a smile formed on his face. "I was just as stunned to find you there. It was the best surprise I've had in a very long time."

This was what I wanted. I understood Huck's frustration about everything—it was just the kind of guy he was. But the last thing I wanted was for him to dwell on the things we couldn't change.

"I'm so happy to hear that, Huck. It really means the world to me," I told him. "But do you think it's sad that I didn't know how much I missed you until I saw you again?"

He tipped his head to the side, chewing a bite of his salad, and studied me. "It's been a long time. And you've been going through some trying times. I would have been surprised if you told me you hadn't forgotten about me."

My lips parted in shock. "I didn't forget about you, Huck. God, that would be impossible."

"Pardon?"

I hadn't gone into this conversation with the intention of telling him this, but after hearing him say what he'd just said, I couldn't hold back. "I often thought about you over the years," I revealed. "You were the only person who ever went above and beyond to look out for me and treat me well. I don't know if you realize the impact you had on my life, Huck, but it was monumental. I've spent years hoping I'd experience that level of kindness and compassion, and I never got it. And after a while, I guess I thought I remembered it wrong. Until I saw you in the diner a couple weeks ago. That's when I realized just how much I needed you back in my life. Nothing felt as good as seeing you again did, and I can't explain the way it made me feel. All this time, I thought I was searching for the thing that you gave me when we were in high school, and the truth was that it was only you who could make me feel it again."

Huck stared at me again, evidently surprised by what I'd just shared with him. Maybe it was too much. Maybe he didn't want to hear something like that when he was only trying to do what he could do now to be a good friend. Perhaps he believed I was setting the stage for something more.

Eventually, he said, "I hate that you spent so much time in your life not having the things you need and deserve, Josie. It kills me to know I took that away from you when I left. At the same time, I can't tell you what it means to me to know you felt something so profound from the relationship we had when we were kids. I'm glad to know I wasn't alone."

My belly flipped.

Maybe I'd assumed incorrectly.

Because there it was again. Huck offering the slightest clue that there was something deeper between us than just friendship, even if neither of us acted on it ages ago. There was a part of me that wanted to explore that, to know more about how he felt, but the other part of me was still unsure I could handle the truth or anything beyond the way things were right now.

Given that I was relying on him the way I was at this point, I didn't want to muddy the waters and make things awkward.

So, I smiled at him and said, "I'm so glad you walked into the diner."

He returned the smile. "Me, too."

A few minutes later, the timer for the oven went off, and Huck stood to take care of it. I would have offered to help, but there wasn't much I could do. Plus, I already knew he wasn't going to let me help anyway.

We had a lovely dinner together. I spent some of that time marveling over the food and how great of a cook he was. Deep down, I was silently freaking out over all of it.

From the moment I walked up to Huck's table at the diner and saw him for the first time in years, everything changed. He'd given me so much when we were in high school, when he stood beside me as a genuine friend, and he was still doing it to this day.

I knew he didn't expect any kind of payment or thanks for it, but that didn't change the fact I still felt indebted to him.

I'd often heard people saying how the size of your circle didn't matter. As long as you had one good person in your life you could trust and depend on, that was all you'd need.

Huck was that person for me.

And he didn't hesitate to prove it when, after we finished our delicious dinner, he said, "I know the doctors want you eating good foods while you're recovering, so we're going to stick to that ninety percent of the time. I think you deserve a treat. I thought we could go sit out on the deck and enjoy some dessert together."

I licked my lips and perked up. "That sounds fantastic."

Huck laughed, stood, and gathered our plates. "Why don't you head out there, and I'll be right out in a minute."

"Are you sure there's nothing I can do?"

"You can."

Surprised, I shot him a questioning look and said nothing.

That's when he shared, "You can go out, grab a seat, and relax while I bring you some dessert."

I should have known.

Deciding the best thing I could do was accept Huck for the guy that he was, I gave him a nod and made my way outside.

But I did it while feeling undeniably grateful for a man who was willing to do all that Huck had done and was continuing to do for me.

It was going to be impossible not to heal well as long as he was around.