Fourteen

FOURTEEN

Huck

Too much time had passed.

I didn't want to appear paranoid, but I thought it had been a lot longer than necessary, and I was beginning to worry.

The last thing I wanted to do was interrupt Josie or make her think she had to rush—I didn't want that at all. If she wanted to spend hours soaking in the bathtub, I didn't mind in the least. I wasn't going to be the one to stop her.

But if I said I wasn't concerned at all about her safety, I would have been lying. I'd been pacing for the last fifteen minutes, wondering if I was being overly cautious. She'd been in there for about an hour now, and I didn't know if that was longer than I should have anticipated her taking.

I tried to weigh both sides of the situation before making any rash or foolish decisions.

This was likely the first time in years, if ever, that Josie had the freedom to do something as simple as taking a relaxing bath without needing to worry if someone would cause her harm. She deserved to have the opportunity to enjoy it.

But there was the part of me that recognized she was also still in the early stages of recovering from several horrific injuries, and it was possible she'd hurt herself or needed some assistance. I didn't want her to think I'd abandoned her… again.

Maybe that part was a bit of the guilt I felt creeping in. I was truly attempting to balance trying to provide legitimate care to Josie because she needed and deserved it with smothering her entirely for my own selfish reasons.

Yes, selfish.

It wasn't easy not to blame myself for the situation Josie wound up in. Sure, I realized I hadn't pushed her to be in the relationship she had been in, and the moment I learned what was happening, I took steps to get her out. But I knew how things had been for her back in high school, and I never did anything except take her word that she was going to get out of her father's house and be okay.

I should have stuck around. I should have been sure. If I had, where would her life have taken her? Was it possible she would never have suffered another day? Would we have been together?

There were dozens of questions I had running through my mind, and none of them had any answers. And the reality was that my questions about the what ifs weren't all that important right now. The only thing that mattered was what Josie needed.

So, it was on that thought I decided it was best to check on her. I wouldn't intrude or rush her; I'd merely confirm she was doing okay.

I stepped back into my bedroom, moved toward the closed door that led into the bathroom, and knocked gently on it. "Josie?"

"Huck?" she returned.

Hearing her voice allowed some of the tension to ease in my body. At least she was awake and talking. But I couldn't relax completely, because I wasn't quite sure what I heard in her tone. Was she worried? Relieved? Something else?

"It's alright if you're still relaxing and want more time. I just wanted to check and make sure you were doing okay and didn't need anything," I said.

Moments passed without a response. I was unable to think anything but the worst— the worst being she was annoyed I couldn't seem to give her the time and space she needed to do something she hadn't been able to do in so long or she had somehow managed to injure herself and was too embarrassed to ask for help.

With there being a possibility of her needing my assistance, I couldn't allow her potential annoyance with me to stop me from doing what was necessary. So, I spoke again. "Josie, honey, are you okay?"

"I'm okay, but I'm stuck," she answered.

"Stuck? What do you mean?"

"I didn't realize just how much I relied on having two fully functioning arms, and I can't quite figure out how to wrap a towel around me let alone get myself dressed on my own. I've already given up on washing my hair, but I don't think I can convince myself it won't be awkward if I'm walking around naked all day."

I closed my eyes and balled my hands into fists.

Don't picture her naked , I thought.

Despite my efforts not to do that, it was an impossibility. I didn't think I'd love anything more than to see her walking around my house naked. Then again, I'm not sure how much walking she'd be doing if that happened, because I knew I'd make every effort to find ways to coax her into my bed with me. Of course, that didn't come as a surprise. I hadn't had the privilege of seeing her in nothing yet, and fully clothed, Josie made it difficult not to want to have her in my bed.

"Huck? Are you still there?"

Josie's concerned voice broke into my thoughts, forcing me to shake my head and forget more of my self-serving interests.

God, what was wrong with me?

Josie needed my help, and I was here thinking about how badly I wanted the opportunity to have her naked in my bed.

How had I not realized or considered just how difficult it would have been for her to perform some of the most basic tasks with her shoulder being injured?

"I'm here," I assured her. "Are you okay with me coming in to help?"

"I… uh… hang on just a second," she returned.

"Take your time," I urged, a smile playing at my lips. I guessed she was going to attempt to cover herself up, but I didn't want her risking an injury to do it.

Eventually, she said, "Um, okay. You can come in now."

Though there was a part of me that wanted to throw the door open to assess the situation faster, the logical part of my brain knew I needed to demonstrate some restraint. So, I slowly pushed the door open and found Josie standing there, clutching a towel to her body and looking extremely nervous.

Once I confirmed with my own eyes that she wasn't injured, I swallowed down the urge to allow my eyes to drift down to her bare legs. Recalling what she'd said when I was outside the door, I asked, "You weren't able to get your hair washed?"

She shook her head. "No. No, I thought it would be doable with one arm, but it's virtually impossible since I've also got the achy ribs. So, I skipped it. And though I somehow succeeded in getting my clothes off my body, unfortunately, I'm learning it's going to be quite the task to put anything back on."

I narrowed my eyes slightly, considering a solution to the problem. When an idea popped into my head, I declared, "Wait right there."

Without waiting for a response, I walked out of the bathroom and back into the bedroom. As quickly as I could, I found what I needed and returned. It was obvious Josie had a ton of questions. "What's going on?"

I held up one of my T-shirts and said, "This is mine. I'm going to help you get this on. While we're doing that, we'll fill up the tub again. You can get back in wearing this, and I'll wash your hair for you."

"What?"

"I'll wash your hair for you, since you can't manage it on your own right now," I explained.

She sent an incredulous look my way before she stammered, "You… you'd do that for me?"

"Yes."

Josie blinked in surprise.

When she said nothing else, I moved toward the tub, turned it on, and once I had the temperature set, I allowed it to start filling up again. Then I spun around to face Josie once more, held the shirt up between us, and asked, "Can I help you get this on?"

She nodded slowly, the look on her face indicating she was still coping with some level of shock.

With her permission, I reached for her wrist on her bad arm and slid the sleeve of the shirt over it. She continued to hold the towel tightly against her body with the opposite arm and hand. I made it up to her shoulder, held open the neckline, and urged, "Tilt your head this way."

Josie did as I requested, and I used every effort to slip the shirt over her head without pulling too much on her injured arm. Then I moved to hold the other sleeve open while she adjusted her arms to prevent the towel from falling. Once she had the second arm through, I said, "I'll look away as you shift the towel to let the shirt fall down over your body."

Doing as I promised, I waited for Josie to give me an indication all was good.

It only took a few seconds. "You can look at me now."

When I returned my attention to her, I smiled at her. "Are you okay?"

She offered a slight nod in return. "I am. Are you sure you don't mind doing this? I already feel like a huge inconvenience."

"Please don't feel that way. I feel honored to be able to do this for you." I took her by the hand and helped her into the bathtub again. "Does the water feel okay?"

"It's perfect."

As she eased herself down into the water, I was grateful for the fact I'd chosen the charcoal grey shirt for her. The last thing that would have helped me give Josie the reassurance she needed would have been turning this into the next wet T-shirt contest. It was going to be bad enough the material would mold itself to her curves once it was wet. I didn't need it to be see-through as well.

My bathtub had a faucet and a spray wand, so I took the wand, brought it up to her head, and made sure her hair was soaked. Then I grabbed the shampoo, squirted some into my palm, and brought both hands to her head.

If I had to guess, nobody had ever taken care of Josie like this. Granted, I was doing this because she was physically unable to, but I still wanted her to feel slightly pampered. I thought she deserved to feel like somebody cared about her and wanted her to feel special.

So, I took my time lathering up her hair. I worked my fingers through her strands as I massaged her scalp. Josie's eyes had drifted shut, and even through the lingering bruising on her face, I could see a peace had settled over her.

"This feels wonderful, Huck," she murmured.

"Yeah, you look like you're enjoying yourself," I teased her, loving that I was doing something to make her feel good.

I did my best to keep my focus on what I was here to do—wash her hair and take care of her—but there was no question I had moments throughout when my eyes drifted to her bare legs or to where my T-shirt was molded to her breasts.

I rinsed the shampoo from her hair, moved on to the conditioner, and combed my fingers through her strands with it. Once I had it in, I shifted her hair to one side of her back while I moved to the opposite side.

While I gave the conditioner some time to sit in her hair, I leaned my arms against the edge of the tub and asked, "How are you feeling?"

Josie looked in my direction, opened her eyes, and smiled at me. "I feel like I'm going to have to find a way to do something really nice for you, eventually."

I let out a laugh. "Oh yeah?"

She offered a nod in response. "I've been out of the hospital for maybe two hours now, and I already feel like a million bucks."

Unable to resist the urge, I brought one hand to the back of her head, massaged lightly, and said, "That's what I was hoping to hear. I'm glad we're heading in the right direction."

"You better be careful, though," Josie warned me.

"Why is that?"

"I could get used to this. And if that happens, I may never want to leave."

It was clear based on Josie's tone that she was joking around with me—something I was grateful for, considering she could have been feeling down in the dumps about her whole situation. But even if she wasn't being serious, I couldn't ignore the fact that I would have been more than prepared for her to stay with me permanently.

Not wanting to come on too strong and tell her precisely what I thought about her idea, I said, "I can't promise I won't do my best to take care of you. But I'm sure when the time is right and you're all healed up and back on your feet, you'll be ready to get away from me for a bit."

Concern washed over her, but she didn't share whatever was on her mind.

Wanting to avoid an awkward situation, I said, "Let's get the conditioner rinsed out before you start pruning in this water."

Josie gave me a quick nod and turned her head to grant me better access to her hair. I rinsed out the conditioner, squeezed the excess water out of her hair, and used the towel to soak up the additional moisture.

Afterward, I helped Josie up, making sure she got out of the tub without hurting herself and was steady on the bathmat.

"How do you feel about your ability to get out of the T-shirt on your own?" I asked her.

She glanced down at the mat beneath her feet. "It's sopping wet, and I'm dripping all over the place."

"Don't worry about that. Everything will dry," I assured her. "Do you think you can take the shirt off on your own, or do you want me to try to help?"

Josie's eyes went to the shirt that was stuck to her body and considered it. I had a feeling it had been one thing to get out of her dry clothes, but with the added weight of the water in the shirt, it wasn't going to be a walk in the park.

She returned her attention to my face and sighed. "This is not very romantic."

My brows shot up. Had she been looking for romance?

I wasn't sure there was anything I wanted more in the world right now than to romance Josie. Well, other than justice for what had been done to her. But in this situation, I truly just wanted her to be comfortable and to trust me to do right by her.

"Josie, honey, if you need my help, we'll figure out a way to do it that doesn't involve me seeing everything," I promised.

She gave me a quick nod and said, "Maybe if you could help me get my good arm back through the armhole, I might be able to maneuver myself out of the shirt."

"Okay. And I'll stand in front of you holding the towel up. This way, you'll be covered, but I'll still be here if you need any assistance."

"That sounds like a plan."

I quickly grabbed the towel so it was ready, then I held open the armhole of the shirt. Josie pulled her good arm through before focusing her attention on stripping herself out of the shirt behind the towel. I kept my eyes on her face, committing every feature of her concentrated expression to memory.

For as long as I lived, I never wanted to forget a single second of the time I spent with her. All I could do in that moment was watch and be grateful for the opportunity to have her in my life again, however it came.

I'd gotten so caught up in her, I had stopped paying attention to what she was doing until she held the shirt up and asked, "What do you want me to do with this?"

Jerking my head to the side, I urged, "Just toss it into the tub. I'll deal with it later."

After the soaked shirt hit the tub with a loud thud, I stepped forward and wrapped the first towel around her. Josie lifted her good arm up and over the towel, ultimately clutching it to the front of her body.

"Got it?" I asked.

She nodded.

I grabbed another towel, opened it up like I had the first, and said, "Turn around."

Josie did as I requested, and a moment later, I wrapped the second towel around the back of her body. It was the only way I could think to get her covered without me getting glimpses of her naked body. Sure, I wouldn't have minded, but if Josie was ever going to be naked in front of me, I wanted it to be because she had a choice in the matter, because there was something other than her needing someone to help her in a situation like this.

I stepped close, wrapping the second towel around to the front of her body, and giving her the chance to take either edge of the towel into her grasp. "Are you okay to hold this while I dry your hair for you?"

My body was close to hers, my mouth inches from her ears. She smelled fantastic, and it was an extreme exercise in willpower not to drop my mouth to the exposed skin along her neck and shoulder.

"Oh, Huck, you don't need to do that for me, too," she said. "You've already?—"

"I want to do it for you, Josie. Let me take care of you like you deserve."

There was a brief bout of silence before she whispered, "Okay."

With her approval, I set about drying her hair for her. I sopped up the excess water with another towel before I urged her over in front of the sink and mirror, where I took a comb through her strands and pulled out the hairdryer.

For the next ten minutes or so, I dried Josie's hair, running my fingers through it and meeting her eyes several times in the mirror. There was something appreciative lingering in her stare, a small smile playing at her lips. It was such a sweet moment between us that, despite the attraction I'd felt toward her, had nothing to do with physical desires. It was about a connection formed between two people more than a decade ago that resulted in mutual respect and love for one another.

As soon as I turned the dryer off, I said, "Come on. Let's go get you some clothes." I urged Josie out of the bathroom ahead of me and followed her to the guest room. "Is there anything special you want to wear?"

"No. As long as it's soft and comfortable, I don't care what it is. I do tend to get hot, so maybe shorts would be a good choice."

"Okay. I'm always happy to turn the air conditioning to a cooler temperature if it would make you more comfortable," I told her.

Josie shook her head. "That's not necessary. I'm comfortable for the moment, and as long as I don't have too many layers on, I should be okay."

"If that changes, you need to let me know."

"I will," she promised.

I pulled out a few pairs of shorts and shirts to give Josie the option to choose what she wanted to wear before moving to the drawer with the underwear. The second the drawer was open, a flush crept over her skin.

"God, this is mortifying," she murmured.

"Honey, there's nothing to be embarrassed about. You need clothes. You need underwear. And you need a little bit of help with some simple tasks right now. It's not a big deal."

There was a moment of silence before she gave me a nod of understanding and said, "Anything cotton is fine."

It seemed my mom knew what she was doing, because most of what was in the drawer was cotton. That was good. I was already going to have thoughts of Josie in my head. I didn't need to have the perfect picture of specific, sexy underwear on her body dancing through my mind, too. I'd likely never sleep again.

With all the time that had passed since she stepped out of the bathtub, the droplets of water that had been on Josie's legs had dried. I snatched a pair of underwear out of the drawer, crouched down, and held them out for her to step into them.

At first, it had been easy to do, but the higher I pulled them up her legs, the more difficult it became to not touch her skin. My knuckles grazed the soft flesh on her outer thighs, and touching her hips was unavoidable when I'd made it there. Though I knew I shouldn't have allowed my hold to linger, I felt temporarily frozen.

My eyes met hers, and for a fleeting moment, my mind drifted to the possibility of this being our future. Not her being unable to take care of herself, but the intimate moments. Would Josie and I make it to a place where we'd be able to have more than just this friendship between us? Would we ever have more? Or was I a fool to hope that I'd one day experience the privilege of touching her because she asked me to?

With no answers in sight and an uncertain look on her face, I reluctantly pulled my hands away from Josie's body to grab her clothes. And I did it knowing that regardless of where things went between Josie and me down the road, there wasn't a chance I was ever going to live without her in my life again.