Chapter 15

Kellan

I t's pure fucking torture having to stay away from her. I can't show myself, but I've never left her alone for longer than I have to. I leave to reap souls and immediately pop back up in the shadows wherever she is, following her around like a lost puppy.

She was strong for a few days, but all of that is gone. It breaks down every part of my being, knowing that I am causing her pain. I want to appear, pull her into my grasp, and never let her go. I want to tell her she is perfect and how much I love her, but I am forbidden until her purpose has been fulfilled.

Hearing the things people have been saying to her is gut-wrenching, and Carson is the worst of all of them. I hope that when the time comes, wherever his soul ends up, it is tortured for eternity.

It took every ounce of my self-control to not appear in front of them when that vile girl told my pet to kill herself. I want to take her pain for her, but I can't. It's all for her purpose, but knowing that doesn't make it any easier. She needs to be strong.

If at any point I feel like she can't get through this on her own, I will say fuck the rules and show up to stop her before she ends it all. Regardless of what The Others want, I won't let her go through with that.

I have to believe she will get through this and that the connection we've established can withstand whatever she feels right now. I can sense she is on the fence about how I feel.

I want to shake her and tell her she's wrong. I am wholly in love with her. She consumes my entire being and is the start and end of all of my thoughts. As soon as I can show myself to her again, I will make sure to tell her every chance I get. I should have told her before, when she saw my true form and accepted me. She didn't stray away and not telling her was the stupidest thing I've ever done.

Another soul calls out for me to lead them, but I can't leave my girl yet. She is running to her car, and I want to ensure she's okay. She seems so hurt. Soon enough, she will never have to experience sadness like this ever again.

The pain of dealing with their existence will be over because she will be fully mine. I will never let another soul harm her again. She will only endure what she chooses, and everything else will be nonexistent.

I appear in the cemetery to wait for her to pull in. When she gets here, she immediately goes to open her trunk. I want to wipe the tears from her face. I thought she was grabbing the blanket she likes to lay on, but she didn't grab it. Something else caught her eye first. I feel the call for another soul who needs guidance, but again, I ignore it. I won't leave her—not like this. Something is going to happen. I can feel the shift in her emotions.

I watch as she grabs the blade and brings it down on her wrist. She cuts herself over and over again to try and escape her feelings. She is overwhelmed with everything and nothing all at the same time.

It's torture to let her go through this, knowing that if I appeared, I could hold her until she was okay and calm all of her thoughts. I have a peaceful effect on her because her soul knows it belongs to me. She has always belonged to me, even if neither of us were aware of it yet.

Time passes, and I inch closer and closer to her. I can't risk showing myself, but I still want to be near her. I stand only a few inches away now, but she is none the wiser.

She looks between her wrist and then to the blade for a moment before her nostrils flare. She smells something in the air, and her eyes shoot up to glance around but she's disappointed when she sees nothing except the empty graveyard around her.

her eyes seem so defeated, lost, and confused. My perfect pet, all alone. Soon, you will never be alone again. You will be by my side every single day until the end of time. We will never be away from one another unless you will it.

Something shifts in her demeanor, and I can tell this is the moment everything has been leading up to. Anxiety fills every fiber of my being to the pits of my shadows.

She is toying with the idea of living or dying. She is right back to feeling the same things she felt when I first crossed paths with her, and I feel guilty that she has to feel like this again. That awful yet glorious moment when I laid my eyes on her for the first time.

This moment will change our entire future. She will decide whether or not she will succumb to the pressures of life and end it all. Her purpose will be decided in mere moments and it's too much for me to handle. Allowing her to feel so low might be the hardest thing I've ever had to do.

I move away, in fear of stopping her before she can make her choice. I can't do anything right now besides pace from a distance, silently willing her to choose me, us. I will intervene if I must, but fuck, I hope she can do this . Come on, pet. Make the right choice. Stick it out for me, please. The Others testing her like this is inhumane and part of me will always resent them for it. I just hope she can forgive me for allowing this to happen.