19: NOVA

I pick at the peeling Grand Rose polish on my toenails and make a mental note to get a professional pedicure. I’ve been so busy with the bookstore and terrified of my own shadow lately that I haven’t had time to get one.

Instead, I’ve polished my own toes once a week on my off days. It’s a soothing routine, one that allows me to unwind and debrief my day. However, I’m tired of being alone.

I glance up at the clock again, and my heart ramps up in my chest. Tears prick the backs of my eyelids as I wonder what I have gotten myself into. It’s been hours since Kai left here to go to the hospital. Not quite twenty-four, but enough of them have passed that he should have called, texted, or returned my calls and texts by now.

I slept restlessly throughout the night, wondering if Anarchy was okay and when Kai would return. I missed feeling his arms around me, the warmth of his body enveloping me, and the freshly showered scent that clings to him with an underlying hint of marijuana.

Grabbing my phone, I check my text messages again and see that he hasn’t responded to any of them. I have no missed calls in my call log.

Raider slinks across the floor towards the pile of blankets that I created for his bed. Like me, he seems to be having the blues, and while mine is attributed to a missing Kai, I suspect his blues is because he’s cooped up in this tiny cottage.

Sighing, I push up off the bed, walk to Raider’s makeshift bed, and lift him into my arms. Nuzzling his neck with my cheek, I say, “It’s okay, little one. Things will get back to normal pretty soon.”

Raider arches his back, hisses his discontent, and then hops out of my arms. I smirk and shake my head at his contentiousness as he meanders from the bedroom into the living room.

I head to the window when I hear a noise outside. It’s a bleary, overcast day with occasional showers coming down, making me feel gloomier than I already do.

I quickly move from the window to the door when I see a horde of colorful umbrellas bobbing up and down in the rain, making their way toward my door.

One each of pink, purple, orange, yellow, lime green, white, and two shades of bright blues commence upon my tiny yard. I notice there are no black umbrellas at all.

“I thought we were going to drown in this downpour,” Siren says, releasing her lime green umbrella.

She shakes it out before she pushes past me into the cottage.

“Sorry to descend upon you like this and please excuse Siren’s rudeness,” Roxie calls out.

“You’re fine,” I say, shaking my head as Roxie closes her umbrella and shakes it out. “Come on in.”

One by one, Marlo, Mama Bear, Lizzy, Hadiyah, Hornet, and Bonnie all do the same before crowding into my tiny, temporary cottage.

When I close the door, I turn to look at where the ladies are all assembled on the couch, the armchairs, and the arms of the couch.

“Sorry that we’re crowding your space like this,” Bonnie says.

“We could have met at my place since it’s much larger,” Roxie says.

“But I told her that I doubt you’d leave. I’m sure that boy has put orders in place for you to stay put until he returns,” Marlo says.

Nodding, I reply, “Well, he did tell me to stay here until he returned. But he also said that this was the safest place in the world for me.”

“It is,” Mama Bear says, nodding.

“I didn’t think that you should be alone, though. I remembered how scared I’d been at different times when I felt like I was all alone. Roxie came to visit me and check on me, and I suggested that we check on you, too,” Hadiyah says softly.

Smiling at the beautiful woman, I nod in her direction and say, “I cannot thank you enough. I appreciate the company. It is lonely here, and that rain isn’t making it any better.”

They’re all staring at me, and I look around and ask, “What?”

“You haven’t heard from him, have you?” Marlo asks.

Shaking my head, I reply, “No. Is...is everything okay? Is Anarchy all right? Did something happen to Kai?”

Tension and worry fill me both, battling for a space of dominance in my chest making it hard for me to breathe. A part of me wishes that I hadn’t even asked the question, or maybe I shouldn’t have opened the door.

If I could turn back the hands of time, whatever news they’re about to give me wouldn’t hurt so bad. Maybe they’d never have a chance to tell me, and my life won’t change.

“Nothing has happened to Kai, and as far as Anarchy is concerned, he’s still on this side of the earth,” Hornet says.

“It’s not looking well,” Mama Bear says. “Lord knows if something happens to that boy, these men are going to crumble.”

“Well, Raider will step up and take his rightful place as Prez since he’s the VP, right?” Hadiyah asks.

“He will, but everyone knows that Raider isn’t equipped to be Prez yet. The boy still has lots of maturing to do. He’s got his faves, and he can’t keep his dick correct to make the choices that need to be made. If Raider steps up as Prez there will be true anarchy in place. No pun intended,” Marlo says.

“Yeah, especially between the Roses and the Ol’ Ladies,” Siren says.

“Why, especially between the Roses and the Ol’ Ladies?” I ask.

“Because they want what we have, and they’d do anything to grab what they presume are their rightful places,” Roxie says.

“But I’m sure Raider is aware of this and won’t let it go down like that. Will he?” I ask.

“That’s the problem. Those Roses pull Raider around by his dick like a horse trainer pulling a horse around by the reins,” Marlo says.

“Think he’ll ever settle down?” Hadiyah asks.

“Nope. If he does it would be with one of the Roses, and only because she’d allow him to still have more than one woman,” Mama Bear explains.

“And if that’s the case then he’ll still lean in their direction for all the change they want in place as well as for new rules implemented and old ones overturned,” Marlo adds.

“Is there a particular Rose that he’s favorable to?” I ask.

“Geisha. He’s always been preferential to her and always very protective of her,” Hornet says. “But on the other hand, she’s not a threat to anyone, really. She’s unlike the other club whores. When a man settles down, she tends to back off and leave him alone unless he still requests favors from her. She’s not like Smoke or Tennessee. Those whores have no shame.”

“Who is Smoke and Tennessee?” I ask.

“Smoke’s the cunt that thought she was going to try Roxie over her ‘Ol Man, Cannon,” Hornet says.

“First and last time the bitch tried me,” Roxie says.

Always a lady, Roxie has one leg crossed over the other, but her foot is bouncing at a rapid rate, letting me know that she’s pissed just having this conversation. I have no idea what Smoke did, but for her sake, I hope that she doesn’t try Roxie again.

“And Tennessee?” I ask.

“She’s the one that you need to watch out for,” Mama Bear says.

“Why?”

“She has an eye on any of the council so that she can earn a place of prestige in the MC, but if titles weren’t a factor, I would say that she’s in love with End Game. She’s had her eye on him since they first met. She was his first when he finally patched in, and she was hooked on him like a dope fiend on crack,” Hornet says, initiating a jealous streak within me.

“Well, if he decides that he wants to be with her, then that’s his decision.”

“He doesn’t have to decide to be with or not to be with her. Even if he never claimed her, Tennessee would be happy with End Game just screwing her brains out,” Hornet explains.

“So, what are we going to do? Because if Anarchy doesn’t pull out of this, we’ll have some serious decisions to make. There will be major changes coming down through the hierarchy of the MC and while we may not have much power and not be an important ranking on the totem pole, we’re currently in a higher position than the Roses are,” Siren explains.

“I don’t want to think in terms of if Anarchy doesn’t pull through this,” Marlo says.

“Well, it might be something we have to consider,” Mama Bear interjects.

“He’s a strong man just like his daddy, and this will be no different. It’s times like this that men like Anarchy proved that they were born for war. They were born to overcome the shittiest of challenges and obstacles. I have no doubt in my mind that that boy will be okay,” Marlo says firmly.

“I’m with you, Marlo; you know I am. We saw that boy grow up through the ranks. He’s like a son to us all. I just think that this is the perfect opportunity to reconsider what we’re going to do.”

Bonnie chews on her bottom lip and keeps slanting a gaze my way.

“Got something you wanna say?” Mama Bear asks her.

“I’m just thinking that maybe this isn’t a conversation that we need to be having here...” Bonnie says, glancing at me again.

“Why not?” Roxie speaks up.

“Well, no disrespect,” she says, glancing at me, “but End Game hasn’t claimed Nova yet. We don’t even know if they’re in a relationship. I mean, the last time we talked, she was insistent that they were just friends.”

“Well, if that’s the case, I guess I should be dismissed, too. Phantom hasn’t claimed me either,” Hadiyah speaks up.

“Look, I’m not here to question anyone’s intention, especially when it comes to Phantom and End Game. The one thing that I know about Phantom is that he’s all in with Hadiyah. From what Cannon has said, he’s never let go of Duchess, and he has now. That says something on its own.”

Hadiyah dips her head down at Roxie’s comment and smiles.

“Then there’s End Game,” she says.

“What about him?” I ask.

“End Game, though he’s in the MC, is a loner in his own way. He’s never been looking to be tied down, but...I’ve never seen him more singularly focused on anyone or anything outside of marijuana the way that he is you,” Roxie says.

Siren, Mama Bear, and Marlo all mutter their agreement.

“The one thing that I know is that these ladies aren’t here to be club whores, which means they have two options. They’re either for us or against us. Since they’re not club whores then, we know that they have to be for us. I doubt if they’re going to do anything to sabotage our plans or go back and tell the men or the Roses what we have planned,” Roxie says.

“I don’t know about any of this. I’m not here to judge what you ladies are doing or you’re not doing. My only concern right now is if Kai is okay.”

“Why wouldn’t he be?” Hadiyah asks, staring at me.

I chew on my bottom lip and try to bat back the tears that are threatening to come.

“He hasn’t called. He hasn’t called or returned any of my texts or anything. If it weren’t for you ladies telling me that he’s okay, then I wouldn’t know that.”

“You know why I know that Cannon is okay?” Roxie asks.

I shake my head.

She nods hers in Marlo’s direction.

“Marlo called me and let me know. She did the same for Siren and Bonnie.”

“Yeah, and Mama Bear called Hornet and me and gave us updates on Bullet and Warrior,” Lizzy says.

“Why didn’t they call themselves?” I ask.

“They’re not good with communicating feelings. Right now, they’re all ripped apart and have no idea how to navigate their deepest fears, losing their Prez,” Roxie says.

“What about you?” I ask Hadiyah.

She looks apologetically at me and says, “Phantom texted.”

“See,” I say, pointing my hand at her and looking at the others.

“Not the same,” Roxie interjects.

“Why not?”

Everyone looks at Hadiyah. She nods and smiles sweetly. “It’s okay, Roxie. You can tell her.”

Roxie launches into an explanation of how they found Hadiyah and her sister in a home that was used for sex trafficking. She goes on to explain some of the horrors that Hadiyah faced and how Phantom was one of her original rescuers.

She tells about how they instantly formed a bond that was unlike any she’d ever seen. Hadiyah interjects with her fears and talks about what happened to her after she’d been rescued, but once again felt danger.

“Honey, I know that End Game protected you from a dangerous situation, and I’m not comparing your trials. But I will say that because of the numerous trials, the nightmares, the anxiety, and all she’s been through, Phantom is always on edge about her.”

“No, I understand, Roxie. You don’t have to explain anything more. God, Hadiyah. I’m so sorry that you went through that. I admire your strength because I know that I wouldn’t have been strong enough to survive,” I say.

Hadiyah squeezes my hand and smiles at me. “It’s okay, Nova. You didn’t know. Besides, we all have our trials to go through, and none of them look like each other’s.”

“I suggest that we go about finding a good woman for Raider. One who will take his eyes off Geisha and the rest of those cunts,” Siren says.

“Here! Here!” Bonnie chimes in, causing the others to laugh.

I get up and head into the kitchen, where I find all the ingredients to make margaritas.

We spend the rest of the afternoon discussing “Operation Save Raider’s Dick!”