Chapter 8

8

JOSEPHINE

N othing had been harder for Josephine than walking away from Ember in the park.

I love her

Nothing had been more terrifying than watching Becky, her friend, storm into the house and stare at her with such vitriol.

It had been the one thing she’d feared the most in her relationship with Ember. Watching it unfold had been horrifying and heartbreaking. As Ember and her mother devolved into shouting matches, Josephine couldn’t take it anymore. She had to leave.

In the days that followed, she avoided Ember. All the times she had showed up at the apartment, Josephine had known it was Ember, but she didn’t answer the door. It was for the best, or so she told herself. She didn’t want to be the reason why the mother and daughter cut ties with each other. Her friendship with Becky was basically gone. That bridge had been burned the night she unknowingly slept with Ember.

“What happened?” Benjamin asked, sitting across from her at the table. They were having dinner at a place called Swan’s Heart. It was a beautiful restaurant, but seemingly built for tourists of Phoenix Ridge. It didn’t have any of the intimacy that The Golden had, but it was a beautiful place, nonetheless.

Her father studied her, his grey eyebrows furrowed in concern.

“What do you mean?” Josephine played dumb.

“You’ve been moping around for the last few days. Come on, I’m old but I’m not quite senile yet.”

Josephine sighed.

“Things not working out with your girlfriend?”

Josephine looked at him. She searched his expression. Realizing he was genuinely concerned, she relaxed and decided to reveal her situation to him.

“I’m dating my friend’s daughter.”

He ruminated on her words before looking at her. “Okay, I think I see where this is going. How old your friend’s daughter?”

“Twenty-eight.”

“She’s an adult. That’s not too young. I don’t see what the problem is,” her father said.

“Well, I do. Plus, she is my friend. Or was, until she caught me with her daughter.”

Her father nodded sagely. Thinking about what she said. No doubt he was turning the issue around in his mind, attempting to look at it from various perspectives.

“Well,” he began, in that tone he often used in his lectures. Or when he needed to discuss an issue he had given a lot of thought to.

“It’s not entirely black and white. As a parent, I understand where she’s coming from, but her daughter is old enough to make her own decisions. I can see the anger, having two people you care about alienating you completely, while developing a relationship without your knowledge can feel like a betrayal.”

“I know, I did something terrible.” Josephine buried her face in her palms.

“No, you did not.”

She glanced at her face, surprised. “How? You just said it!”

“No, all I spoke about was the complexity of the situation and that I understand your friend’s reaction. That doesn’t mean you did something terrible. You fell in love, sweetheart. There’s nothing terrible about that.”

Josephine was silent. She gave it some thought. She didn’t truly reach any decision, her father wasn’t trying to push her in any direction; he never did that, not on purpose. Josephine decided to let the matter lie for the time being.

“I noticed you haven’t made any travel plans,” she said instead, changing the subject.

Her father gave her look, letting her know he knew what she was attempting but he allowed it anyway.

“You’re right, I haven’t.”

“You’re really planning on staying here permanently?”

He shrugged. “I haven’t quite decided yet. We’re still exploring the city, remember? You’re supposed to show me what you believe makes this place so special.”

“Well, have you interacted with the people?” Josephine asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Yes, and I admit they are pleasant and certainly more openminded than most people I’ve known around the country.”

“Well, the charm will eventually get to you,” Josephine said with confidence. It was infectious. The city was simply too beautiful.

When she went in to work on Friday, she learned from one of her colleagues that they were throwing a welcome back to work party for Ember. Josephine knew she couldn’t show up there, not with how things had turned out last with Becky. But she decided it was best to end things officially with Ember. She couldn’t leave it as it was, and she couldn’t do it over the phone either, not with everything they had shared.

She drove near the fire station and parked outside, hoping she could catch Ember outside somehow. Even if she was with friends, as long as Becky wasn’t there. She couldn’t risk another confrontation. Part of her expected to have been run out of town following their discovery, but it appeared Becky had chosen to keep their relationship secret. Why? She didn’t know but she appreciated that her affairs weren’t out in the open.

Josephine waited for about forty minutes before she decided it was actually a dumb idea. She got in the car and was ready to leave but froze when she spotted Ember walking out of the fire station. She was transfixed by her beauty once more. Her wild hair tied up in a messy bun. She didn’t have her normal glow and her eyes were downcast, but there was no denying that Ember was stunning. Even the way she walked, the way her hips moved with such confidence, it was impossible not to stare.

She got out and followed Ember. Josephine felt a little bit like a stalker doing that. Not for the first time that evening, she reminded herself how creepy she was being. She persevered. All these things were just excuses she was making to not do what she needed to.

Ember made her way to the park and sat on the bench. After a while, Josephine made her way over and took a seat. It broke her heart when Ember looked at her without registering that she was actually there. Their time apart had done just as much damage on her as it did on Josephine. She reached out and took Ember’s hand, trying to show her she was there.

The full extent of Ember’s heartbreak tugged at her, but Josephine was convinced that this needed to happen. They needed closure so that they could both move on with their lives.

The goal was to move on. Josephine was supposed to come to Phoenix Ridge, rediscover herself, and grow as a person. For a while, her life had meaning. She was happy and content. And then she lost it. It felt like the light had gone out of her life. Phoenix Ridge lost most of it’s magic.

She drifted through her days at work listless like a zombie. Her performance didn’t decline, she could focus well enough to keep her patients in good health, and in moments like those she was able to flee from some of the emotional problems she was facing. But, aside from that, she was constantly agonizing over her time with Ember. Missing her touch, her voice, her scent, the love they made together.

“Heard Chief Thompson’s daughter charged into a burning building recklessly against protocol again.”

That immediately caught her attention. She was in the middle of lunch when she heard some of the nurses gossiping. Normally, she barely paid attention to their chatter, but she couldn’t help but eavesdrop when she noticed they were talking about Ember.

The other nurse, a thick young woman with a mole on her top lip, Mikaila was her name, replied, “I swear she has a death wish.”

“And a great deal of luck too,” her partner replied. She was slightly smaller than the other one. Josephine couldn’t remember her name, but she and Mikaila could pass for twins.

“I think she’s a little crazy because of her mom. The chief was pretty awesome in her younger days, being the first female chief of any US fire department. She is a real formidable woman.”

“And Ember has been living in her mom’s shadow.”

“Definitely some self-destructive tendencies there.”

Josephine had heard enough. She finished her lunch and rose. She planned to walk out without saying anything but decided that she was indeed going to say something to the two nurses.

“Perhaps you should gossip less about someone working hard to save lives and appreciate their efforts more?”

They gaped at her in surprise. Josephine was surprised herself. But the urge to speak up in defense of Ember was impossible to ignore. This was not normal for her, she wasn’t confrontative by any means, but Ember was a hero. She risked her life to save others. She deserved accolades, not criticisms.

She left the two women in shocked silence. Their interactions were going to be awkward from now on, Josephine realized. For someone who just got here, that was not a good thing, making enemies like that. But Josephine found she cared less about that. There was a familiar itch she felt deep within her. The itch that always drove her to run away from her problems. It was not as intense as it could be but that would change over time. She knew this fact.

Josephine sighed.

What was she going to do about Ember though? There might have been some merit to what the nurses were saying. They might have been wrong in assuming Ember was putting herself in danger just to surpass her mother. What if she was doing it because they broke up? She’d seen that look in her eyes. Ember looked lost. Josephine wanted to think of a way to help her without necessarily getting back together. Though the thought of getting back with Ember sent a thrill of excitement and satisfaction rushing through her.

Becky

Things were rough between the two but if there was anybody that could possibly reach Ember. She was the one.

“Doctor Mars!” someone called out her name, breaking her from her musings.

“Yes?” The sense of urgency was familiar. There was a medical emergency.

“We need a general surgeon in the OR! Doctor Morley is fifteen minutes ou?—”

“Take me to the patient,” Josephine went full doctor mode. She’d been taking things easy, but she knew something like this was going to happen eventually and was mentally prepared for it. She was in her element now.

“Patient is a female in her mid-thirties. Badly in need of an appendectomy.” The nurse gave her a rapid-fire rundown of the situation.

“How bad is it?” she asked the nurse.

The woman winced. “She’s about to pop.”

If Josephine was the swearing type, she would’ve let out a few expletives right then. She hated to rush surgeries like these, but there was nothing for it.

“Is everything prepared?” Josephine asked. She gowned up and scrubbed in and then walked into the OR, sighting the patient right away. Josephine gave the woman a reassuring smile. She looked panicked. There was no helping it, they had to inform her of what they were about to do and that would naturally put her on edge. Removing an appendix was supposed to be relatively simple but there were always risks involved.

“Don’t worry, Ms Flynn. It’s an extremely straightforward surgery.”

The woman gazed at her, bewildered. Something about her reminded Josephine of Ember. Then again, that could just be her mind playing tricks on her. Either way, she was determined to ease the woman’s discomfort.

“Then why is everyone going crazy?”

Josephine laughed. It wasn’t entirely genuine, but she was putting on a show that she was in control and that would, by extension, put the patient at ease as well.

“They’re not going crazy. They know what they’re doing.”

At the corner of her vision, she could see the nurses exchange glances. Thankfully, the patient didn’t notice them.

“It’s a relatively simply surgery,” Josephine explained. “Small incision, separate the muscles, find the appendix, tie it up and cut it out. You’ll be back on your feet in no time at all.”

“Thank you, Doctor,” the woman said gratefully.

“Call me Josephine,” she offered.

Soon, the woman was sedated and put under. Some of the nurses were still new faces but they knew their jobs. The whole surgery took about an hour. She was halfway through before Doctor Morley arrived and Doctor Morley let her finish.

“Very impressive work” Doctor Morley gushed at Josephine as she left the operating room. “That was the quickest, most efficient appendectomy I have ever witnessed.”

Josephine merely smiled. A real one this time. She loved Phoenix Ridge; the looks she got after the surgery was as success was something she’d missed working in New York. It was a shame that she would have to leave soon.

“I did a surgery today. Appendectomy,” Josephine informed her father as they had dinner.

“Oh? How did go?” He wasn’t particularly excited. This was normal for her. She’d done thousands of surgeries before, and an Appy was about the most common one. But in her role as Head of Hospital, she was all admin and no action. It had been sometime since she had last had a scalpel in her hands.

“Went well.”

He glanced up at her. “And?”

Josephine looked down at her meal. “It felt amazing. It felt like I was making an impact on lives again. I missed that feeling.”

Her father nodded. He didn’t fully understand what she was talking about. For him, a surgery was surgery. Not that Doctor Benjamin Mars didn’t care about his patients. He cared about their wellbeing greatly. But he didn’t connect with them the way she did. For him, the extent of his work was keeping them alive. To his credit, he had done his best to understand her perspective these last few years. That was why he prompted her to speak on how she felt about it.

“You have that look in your eyes again.”

“What look?” Josephine enquired.

“The same look you had before you told me you were moving out of the house when you were little.”

“I wasn’t little, Dad. I already had my first master’s degree.”

“You’re changing the subject.” He was going to let it go.

“I’m thinking about leaving Phoenix Ridge.”

“You just got here, been here barely a couple of months now,” her father pointed out.

“I know!” Josephine replied, slightly exasperated. “But…ugh! Everything!”

“Sweetheart,” Benjamin put his fork down and stared her in the eyes. “You’re a beautiful woman. You’ve achieved far more than I have ever dreamed for you. But, above all else, what I want for you the most is for you to be happy, and it pains me to see you run away from your own happiness time and time again.”

His words struck a chord in her. She wanted to argue, to dispute him. She was a successful doctor. She didn’t run away from that. She’d made a name for herself and left her father’s shadow. She didn’t run away from that. Josephine didn’t see herself as that coward her father was making her out to be.

Then why are you running away? a small voice asked in her mind.

Because it’s for the best!

For who?

The last question rang in her mind. An image popped into her mind. Ember, sitting on that park bench, staring out into nothingness. Had their breakup really done her any good? Would leaving be better for her?

Josephine sighed. The answer might have seemed easy and straightforward to everyone else. Not to her. Not when she cared about her friend. Becky might hate her guts now, but she had always been a good friend. In the hard times with Eva, it was Becky’s friendship that kept her afloat. It allowed her to escape from the misery of coming to terms with the fact that her relationship was completely dead. Everyone in her life knew about it. They gave her pitying looks, which she hated. Becky didn’t know, and in many ways, helped her return to her normal self again.

She resolved to try and reach out to her friend. They deserved closure too.

“What are you going to do now?” Benjamin asked as she got up.

“I’m going to give Becky a call. See if she wants to talk.”

He nodded. “Good luck.”

Josephine was going to need it if her last encounter with Becky was anything to go by.

Josephine dialed her number on her way to the apartment. After the first two rings, she was certain she wasn’t going to get any response.

“Hello?”

Josephine jumped. She was expecting the call to go to voicemail. A beat passed without her saying anything.

“Josephine, I know you can hear me, you’re the one who called.” Becky sounded more exhausted than angry. “I’d like us to talk.”

“Uh, right, we should—we should talk,” Josephine stammered. She was a bit nervous. This was not how she’d expected this discussion to go. “Tonight?”

“Yes? I hope that’s not too inconvenient. We could meet somewhere around the pier, close to the beach.”

A small part of her wondered if she was going to be murdered and thrown in the ocean. She quickly squashed that line of thought.

“Sure, I’ll meet there…what time?”

“Is eight-thirty okay by you?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“See you then.”

Becky hung up. Curt, but far more polite than she had been the last time they spoke to each other.

“Well,” Josephine said to herself. “Have to prepare myself for that encounter.”

She was five minutes early to the pier. There was a bit of a crowd; she had no idea how she was supposed to find Becky, but apparently the chief didn’t have such troubles.

“Over here.”

Josephine flinched and whirled, finding Becky behind her. Her friend was dressed in casual clothes, a rare sight. Becky wore a black t-shirt over brown cargo pants and sandals. Her hair was a bit lighter in color than Ember’s and not so messy. It was tied in a neat ponytail. And she looked extremely stressed.

“Hi,” Josephine said nervously.

“Let’s sit.” Becky led her to a bench, somewhere less crowded.

Josephine had no idea how to break the initial silence between the two of them. Thankfully, Becky did, and surprisingly enough, she started with an apology.

“First, I’d like to apologize for my actions last time.” She looked down at her hands. Her fingers were interlaced, moving over each other.

“I overreacted.”

Josephine nodded. “In a way, I kind of understood.”

They lapsed into silence once more. This time it wasn’t as awkward as the previous one.

“How’s Ember doing?” Josephine ventured cautiously.

“Not good,” Becky replied bluntly. “She ran into a burning building again, claiming she heard someone in there but there was no one in the building. The floor collapsed right underneath her, she almost died. Only reason she is still alive is pure luck, nothing else.”

It was one thing to hear that Ember was suicidal from gossips, it was another to hear it coming from her mother.

“She’s always had no fear, but it has gotten a lot worse ever since the…”

Ever since we stopped seeing each other.

“Well, basically I think she is being self destructive. She has even less thought for her own safety than she ever did.”

“I think you should reach out to her,” Josephine suggested.

“Already tried.” Becky sighed again, looking as though she’d aged years in an instant. “She wouldn’t talk to me. Or anyone for that matter.”

Becky suddenly turned to her. “I’m starting to realize that maybe I was wrong about you two da?—”

“No, you were right. I’ve thought about it too. The differences in age and experiences are too big,” Josephine said. “And you helped me realize that. I’m sorry that dating your daughter had essentially ruined what could have been a great friendship for us.”

Becky looked sad, but Josephine strengthened her resolve. It was for the best, or so she kept telling herself. Deep down, Josephine was terrified. She could not live through the trauma of losing Ember again. The connection they’d shared in a very short period of time had been greater than anything she had ever felt before. She didn’t have it within herself to heal from further trauma. It was cowardly, but cowardice was an easier pill to swallow than pain.

“I’m sorry,” Becky apologized again. “I wish I could go back and change everything. I didn’t know my actions would hurt you both like this.”

“I know.”

Becky turned to her once more. “Are you sure you can’t help?”

“I think anything I do right now will only cause more damage. Ember will be okay without me. Maybe even better. She’ll find somebody her own age, they’ll fall in love, and I’ll be nothing but a distant memory.”

Becky turned to stare at the ocean. “I thought that, but it really isn’t going that way.”

They sat in companionable silence until it got dark. On her way home, Josephine felt some of the weight lift off her shoulders. At least she’d patched things up with her friend somewhat. They might never be as close as they used to be but there was some closure.

She’d decided that she was going to leave Phoenix Ridge.

Seeing Ember in pain and hearing about her actions was breaking her heart.