Chapter 16

Somehow, I lost Beasty.

She was sitting right next to me, but she was somewhere else. And from how her eyebrows edged upward in the center, I didn"t think it was a good place.

I"d made a study of her expressions. The subtle nuances of her emotions once we had her close to us. It was sublime, having such close access.

Her expression right now was pained and blank, all at the same time. Even her jaw was slack as she stared out into the crowd.

I followed her gaze, but didn"t see anything that should have affected her so strongly.

Shifting in my seat, I tried to get my hard-on to go down.

When we had the discussion before about sharing Beasty, I was on board because I would rather have a piece of her than not have her at all.

Yet watching Atlas eat her out...

I groaned softly and pinched my pants at the knees to tug them down.

Add that to how she danced for me, and I was a goner. I was constantly irritable. I could be like Lake and beat off every chance I got. Or like Atlas and Joaquin and find release in someone else. But I wouldn"t do that.

I didn"t want to touch another person for any reason. I also didn"t want to touch myself.

The ghost of her hand coasting over my shoulders as we made love was still the best thing I"d ever experienced in my life. And I"d be damned before I chose a cheaper option just because I was horny.

Fuck that.

I wouldn"t come until Beasty was the one who helped me with my very hard problem.

"Beasty?" I reached out and touched the back of her hand.

She turned to me, and her eyes flared. Did she think I was upset that she made a comment about how pretty I was?

I didn"t give a fuck about that. It was the thing that gave me a purpose in life. That made enough money for us so that we could take care of her. The way she deserved to be taken care of.

"I can"t do this, Kim. I need to know that I can live my life without living in a glass box like you guys do."

Ouch. That stung, although Beasty didn"t seem to want to hurt my feelings. But she was right. We did essentially live in a glass box. We couldn"t take her out like ordinary people. We"d tried that once, and people get crazy if they recognize you.

I"d gotten better at it though. I"d conditioned myself to accept light touches. To smile and take pictures. It had all been a grueling process, but I"d done it.

Not even for myself. I did it in the hopes that one day Beasty would want to be with us again.

"What do you want me to say, Beasty?" Most people said that because they were assholes or they wanted to be combative. Sarcastic.

I just wanted to know what she wanted. What she needed to hear. Whatever it was, I"d tell her that lie so she"d feel good about being with us again. There was no harm in that.

"I want you to tell me that you"ll figure out what it"s going to take for the Pescis to leave me alone. I want you to tell me that you"ll make it right so I don"t have to hide." She drew in a shuddering breath, then released an equally shaky laugh. "I"d also love for you to tell me that you four are going to stop associating with crazy dangerous people."

All impossibilities. One, men like the Pescis didn"t just forgive and forget. They were slighted by us, and as long as we were winning, they"d never kick Beasty off their radar. Beasty didn"t seem to understand that this had nothing to do with her and everything to do with their egos.

Because of that, there wasn"t anything we could do short of playing their game. And the only way to do that, was to fight fire with fire.

The illegal kind that came from knowing all the right people.

That alone meant we couldn"t leave the crime life behind or our associates. But there was another, bigger reason. Lake was more the driving force behind it, but I believed in his brand of logic.

Men like Gates were a dime a dozen.

They took, used, abused. Did any fucking thing they wanted. To anyone they wanted.

That would never happen again. Never.

The one way to ensure it wouldn"t, was to know every player on the board. To know their secrets and their lies. To be in a position to use it against them, was to be on the board with them.

I wanted Beasty. At any cost.

But this one.

We just had to make her see that.

"We hate living in a glass house too. No one likes it. But it"s a necessary tradeoff for the success we"ve had." I placed my arm along the back of the booth and turned into her. Discreetly breathing in the delicate scent of her skin. She hated perfumes. Beasty only ever smelled like soap and herself and it was intoxicating. "But we can make this right with the Pescis. We can make it so that you don"t have to hide and you can live your life. You only ever have to tell me what you need, Beasty and I"ll make it happen. That"s how much you mean to me."

Her gaze flew back and forth between my eyes as her mouth curved down on one side. I grinned.

This was the expression that said she was gauging every part of my face, looking for the truth. Smoothing my expression out, I gave her a sincere look.

"You"ll stop doing bad things?" she pushed.

My heart cracked. Something about the way she said that reminded me of when we were kids. Which was odd, because outside of the one interaction, I never spoke to her.

I touched her jaw, and slid my finger along the underside until I tipped up her chin. Her mouth was so sweet. Plush and soft. The barely there freckle over the right side of her lip caught under the club lighting. I wanted to lick it.

Leaning in, I left only a few centimeters of space as I stared deep into her eyes. Just when her chest rose from a soft inhale, I veered to the left, slowly heading toward her ear. Outside of my fingertip under her chin, I didn"t touch her.

I couldn"t.

I wanted her to touch me first.

But I could do this. Tease her in my own way. Not Atlas' blatant, aggressive style. My way was more enjoyable. A slow burn.

"Kim," she panted.

I blew on her earlobe, the gentle breath moving the hair that had fallen into her face. Then I directed the stream down the column of her neck.

She shivered and I strained even harder against the zipper of my pants.

"Beasty, you"re all I"ve ever wanted. You know that, don"t you?" I asked.

"Is that enough?" she returned, but she sounded as if she were speaking on autopilot.

"It has to be. Because I can"t take it if you leave again." I swallowed. All night, I"d been so confident, high on the fact that I"d given Beasty something she wanted. An opportunity to earn money. But the quick reminder that any minute Beasty could walk out–not from the Pescis' schemes–but just her lack of desire to be with us anymore, and my heart fluttered wildly and weakly all at once, as if warning me we wouldn"t survive without her.

Releasing a breath, I dropped my head to her shoulder, all thoughts of seduction forgotten. "Please don"t leave me again."

We were back in my room, her cuddling my back, refusing to answer.

"Kim." She reached up and grabbed my hand, pulling it down to her lap where she cupped it with both her hands. They were soft and warm, cradling me with a delicacy that was foreign to Beasty when it came to anyone or anything, except me.

All of us saw it, how she was with me, and I guarded it like a starving Rottie over a fallen rabbit.

I craved this from her. She knew it, and yet she still had the ability to leave me.

Atlas was right. She didn"t just have to want us. If we wanted to keep her, she had to need us.

"Beasty, lovely to see you."

Damn it. I sat up and glared at Gio. He was dressed into an expensive suit. Not the slim-fitted kind that we wore, but an expensive as hell brand that most business men wore. And he was pissed if the pinched way he held his mouth said anything.

He adjusted the cufflinks, dropping his gaze for a minute before giving me his focus.

Adrian and Storm stood sentry behind him. Adrian grinned like a clown as he studied Beasty and me. Storm watched us curiously, but didn"t give off the same loud energy. His was much cooler.

"Kim." Gio raised a brow.

"Gio." I dipped my head. They should be going after Donnie or making a plan. Why were they here instead of with Lake?

Just when I had Beasty to myself, on the tip of a new precipice, they interrupted.

I glanced behind him, looking for any signs of Joaquin, Atlas, or Lake, but it was impossible to spot anyone when the crowd was now packed shoulder to shoulder. I couldn't even see the hallway.

Sliding out of the booth, I removed my hands from Beasty's, and stood up to block her from their view.

She didn"t like that, or maybe she didn"t like when I did it. Gio turned and watched her step down from the booth on the other side.

"What can I help you with?" I wanted to bring their attention back to me. I didn"t mind these three, not that I"d had much interaction with them, but Beasty wasn"t for their eyes.

"We have a lead on another of the Pescis and we need your friend here to help. Do you prefer Cressida or Beasty?" He angled his shoulders toward Beasty.

I think the fuck not.

Sliding in front of her, I raised a brow at Gio. "We"re not going to do this here."

"And what is this?" Gio gave me a bored look and Adrian popped up over his shoulder with maniacal glee written across his face.

"Kim," Beasty sighed and pushed to her feet.

Shooting my hand back, I trapped her behind me as I gripped her shirt in my fist.

"You"re being ridiculous," she huffed.

"Please, Beasty." I wanted to shout at her to stop being naive, that if she didn"t want us to go down the crime path, to stop throwing herself onto it too.

But I could never talk to her like that. It would push her away and I wanted to hold her close. I needed her to trust me in a way I no longer trusted her.

"Gio, you should speak to Lake. Leave Beasty out of your plans."

Adrian draped his arm around Gio, making a show of shaking him. "What"s up with these guys?" he asked in a loud voice. He wanted us to hear.

"Adrian," Gio warned.

"No, I really want to know. Color me curious." Adrian twisted his mouth to the side as he framed his jaw with his thumb and forefinger.

Storm stepped up on the other side so he could see what was going on. Whatever had happened after we passed him in the hallway, he was no longer in a good mood. He was now downright diabolical with the silver from his piercings glinting every time the club lights flashed over us.

"It"s a secret." I gave him the sweetest, softest smile I had in my arsenal. Then I leaned toward them like I was going to let them in on it. "And we don"t tell our secrets here. We have a special place for that."

"A room. We know all about it," Adrian snickered and Beasty stiffened.

Ice licked up the back of my neck as I lost my smile. Who the fuck did this guy think he was?

He had no idea who we were, and he didn"t want to.

But no one made me look the fool in front of her.

I grabbed Beasty"s hand and played with her fingers in what I hoped was a soothing motion. "We"re pretty easy-going guys. We have to be in our line of business," I said absently as I took in the crowd before bringing my attention back to the three assholes in front of me. "We"re the Fashion Boys, after all." I shrugged, using the name Parker had coined for us. "But we"re not just pretty faces. We have a mean streak, and what I think you"d do well to remember, is that we"ve tasted shit before. More than you probably ever will in your life."

I took a chance and pulled Beasty against my back. Latching onto her other wrist, I wrapped her arms around me, savoring the feel of her pressed against my back. I loved being the little spoon with her. We just fit.

"That goes for every single one of us, including Beasty. We"re not going to let her be a party to your schemes that will not only put her in danger, but even more firmly on the radar."

There was just so much Beasty didn"t know, and I wasn"t about to let her do this to herself.

"If you keep pushing, we"ll push back. I will. And you won"t like how I do it. I might just have to bring out the roadrunner treatment." Watching their expressions harden with each word that fell from my mouth was exhilarating.

Scrunching his face up, Storm narrowed his eyes on me. "Okay, I"ll bite. What"s the roadrunner treatment?"

I shrugged, giving them a closed-lipped smile. They couldn"t dim my happiness, not when Beasty was plastered to me and showing no signs of pulling away.

It didn"t even bother me when Adrian dropped his gaze to my erection.

Sex was dirty. Nothing would ever change my mind. Except with Beasty.

She was so clean and pure, I couldn"t feel the revulsion of my body"s reactions when it came to her.

Gio dropped his gaze, and before he could make a smart-ass comment, Lake pushed through the crowd. I"d been so engrossed in watching these three, that I"d completely missed him coming into the main part of the club.

Lake glanced at me. "Joaquin and Atlas are bringing a car around. We"re done here for tonight." Then he leveled Gio and his friends with a stare so harsh, it should have melted their skin from their bones.

That would have been a lovely picture.

"Gio, if I have to tell you one more goddamn time that Beasty is off limits, you"ll regret it," Lake growled.

Gio frowned at Lake like he was an annoying, kid brother instead of a dangerous man laying a threat between them. "You"ve got this all wrong. We"re on the same side–"

"There are no sides," Lake spat. "We have business acquaintances that we have to do business with because we can"t do it all on our own. But make no mistake, if you stop being useful to me, or working with Parker no longer benefits us, this relationship is done."

Adrian and Storm both snorted and Gio raised a hand to silence them. "You don"t just stop working with the Castillo Cartel."

"I don"t give a fuck." Lake tossed his head to the side like they could kick rocks. "Try me and find out how serious I am." Lake held his arm out for Beasty, and I sighed when she untangled herself to step closer to him. "Stay in the club and make sure it doesn"t burn down, or leave. Whatever. But we"ll have words tomorrow about why you went behind my fucking back after I just told you to leave Beasty alone."

Lake took Beasty"s arm and started weaving through the crowd to exit the club.

I winked at the guys on my way out.

Maybe it was time for us to reinvent ourselves our way.

Then we could get Beasty completely on board and stop pretending to pander to everyone trying to get their slice of us.

Just fantasizing about what that would look like left a dopey grin on my face as we left the club. And no one blinked at us twice.