Chapter 17

"Are you going to move at any point today?" I passed Atlas on the sofa in our bedroom as I headed to the closet.

I"d already gone down for breakfast and came back up while he hadn"t moved. He was in that exact spot when I got up this morning too.

"No," he grunted.

Stopping, I backtracked to peek at the screen.

"She"s awake, she"s just not leaving." Those dreaded elevens popped up between his brows as he studied the laptop. "She"s going to need breakfast."

There she was, just like he said. Awake and whispering to her hedgehog.

Sighing, I scratched the back of my head. It was a sad day when I was the voice of reason. Not that I was raging out of control or any shit like that. Outside of Atlas, we were just all very thoughtful and conscious of how we wanted our lives to be, and we worked hard to get there.

What was I thinking?

We weren"t thoughtful, but we weren"t idiots. Yet, Beasty being here really brought out the ass and idiot in them, making a bad blend enabling bad decisions.

The back of my mouth watered. A drink sounded really fucking nice right about then, but I didn"t have time for that.

I was supposed to go to Snatched today and check the books. We were also supposed to meet with our attorney to review our case.

Fuck it. Lake could handle the tiny dynamite attorney. I had a feeling the charges would be dropped soon anyway. And I was always right about those feelings.

Like the feeling that how they handled Beasty was all wrong.

"I"m heading out for the day. If you need me, call Lake." I grabbed a fresh fit, one picked out by Kim. His style wasn"t exactly mine, and he did try to include pieces I liked, but every once in a while, I humored him by wearing something he specifically bought for me. That I would never wear on my own.

I stopped to check it out in the corner mirror. White linen pants with a matching, collared button-up.

It was stylish. It looked damn good on me. If I were on the beach somewhere instead of just outside of D.C. But whatever.

Kim constantly lectured us that we set the trends, we didn"t follow them, so who cared?

Atlas cursed and grumbled under his breath as I walked by, but he had already forgotten me by the time I got to the door.

I smirked to myself as I stopped outside of Beasty"s room and knocked.

Atlas would now know that I was getting ready to whisk away the object of his obsession.

Take that, asshole.

Just like the other times, silence initially reigned. Then I knocked again, and there were faint movements.

When the door opened, Beasty eyed me up like she wasn"t sure if she wanted to stab me in the eye with a needle or...well, I didn"t actually see any good intentions, but she was still here. So she had them.

"I"m taking you out of here for a little bit. Put on your shoes." I held my breath, not because I was nervous, but shit was so precarious with her right now–for good reason–that I didn"t want to make a wrong move and scare her away.

"Why? You all have made it clear the outside world is dangerous for me." Her tone was flat. Unimpressed.

"You need some time away, and I could use it too. I"m also one of the best bets for you to hang with and go unnoticed." I rocked back on my heels. Lake wasn"t famous like Kim and Joaquin, but he was recognizable with his white hair.

One of her eyes squinted in distrust. Did she know that she wore her emotions on her sleeve for all the world to see? Kim could teach her a thing or two.

"Okay..." She drew her answer out, watching me instead of getting her shoes.

"Or you could stay here..." I taunted.

"No, I want out of here." Beasty left the door open as she went close to the bed and picked up her tennis shoes.

Hell, I hadn"t realized it on the screen, but she was wearing one of the things Kim bought her. That was progress.

She touched the edge of the hedgehog"s house and walked back to me, wearing a plain, tight tee and a pair of jean shorts. Nothing fancy, and definitely something comfortable.

"Where are we going?" She stepped past me, holding the heel of her sneakers on the tips of her first two fingers.

She didn"t have to put her shoes on or take them off at the door. We had a cleaning service. But now wasn"t the time to make that argument.

"I thought we"d go to The Cakes Place. It"s not far from Snatched, but it"s out of the way of general traffic." I waited by the front door with my hand on the handle as she sat down on the stairs and slipped her shoes on.

Twirling my keys, I took a second to appreciate the moment.

Beasty was here. We were all together, and in a way where there could be an us. Not just a her and Kim.

I had to squeeze my eyes shut to get the image of Atlas with her out of my head. Fuck. I wanted to fuck him while he fucked her. I wanted to spear her on both our dicks. There were so many positions we could arrange her in.

Over us, under us...Between us.

Fuck. I groaned.

Shaking my head, I opened my eyes. Beasty stood two feet in front of me, staring at me like she wasn"t quite sure what to make of me.

That was fair. I had no fucking clue what to make of her either.

"I have my car outside." I opened the door and cursed at myself. Of course, my car was outside.

There was zero room to call the others idiots.

She made a soft, choked noise in the back of her throat, but she didn"t say anything else to further embarrass me. Kind of her.

I approached the head of the car, and I almost walked to the driver"s side, but at the last minute, I pivoted to go to the passenger"s side door. I beat her there by ten seconds and got it open, just barely missing her.

Beasty scrunched up her face and it was cute as hell, as she slid inside.

This wasn"t so bad. Already some of that dark cloud that had been circling her head seemed to clear.

"You want some music?" I asked as I turned on the car and immediately started backing up. She jerked in her seat from my hard stop and huffed. "Sorry." I grinned. "I"m used to Atlas riding with me, and he lives to make my life a living hell. I try to return the favor where I can."

She didn"t respond, and some of my good mood fell.

Clearing my throat, I adjusted in my seat and turned on the radio. If she didn"t want to pick the music, I sure as hell would. I couldn"t sit here in silence with her and my thoughts. That was too nerve-racking. How did Kim do it?

Low, slow notes of Radiohead started creeping out of the speakers. It was my preferred style of music. I"d have to get Kim to change the playlist in one of the numbered rooms one night.

The drive was at least peaceful. We finally pulled into the diner and I shut the car off.

My thoughts bounced around inside my head, and my hands trembled against my thighs after I turned the car off.

The sounds of the engine cutting off echoed through the cab, adding obvious attention to the fact that we were both still sitting in our seats.

This wasn't like me. I didn"t get nervous. I got angry. I got frustrated. I got high on a win.

I did not get nervous. But this was the first time I"d been alone with Beasty. If you didn"t count a few random conversations we"d had on the side of the room during different events. Those were different though.

This was intimate. Serious.

I rolled my head on the headrest until I faced her. She was already turned my way.

"Ready to head inside?" I raised my brows.

"Sure," she rasped, pink hitting the tops of her cheeks.

Grinning, my mood swung right back up where it had been. I could work with this. And hopefully, the fucker would stay in one spot.

Out of the corner of my eye, I caught the security guard discreetly pulling in. Lake had security on all of us, so the Pescis shouldn"t get anywhere near us while she ate lunch.

A gum-smacking, middle-aged woman glanced over her shoulder from the counter where she was pulling food out of the window. "Just two?"

"Yup," I called out. The few tables in here ignored our exchange. Either used to the routine, or too hungover to care. From the looks of one man, who I"d seen at the club at least once, I"d say too hungover.

"Take a seat anywhere you want, hun." Then she forgot about us as she balanced several plates on her arms and started walking them out to a table of four.

"Over there?" I pointed to the back corner by the window. She shrugged. Noted. She didn"t give two fucks about seating arrangements, so I"d stop asking.

I pulled the chair out, waited for her to sit, and then took my seat on the other side. I"d taken the corner, so I could see the rest of the diner. If for some reason one of our enemies came through the door, I"d see them.

Stretching my legs out, I leaned against the wooden back and let my gaze rest on her.

She fidgeted, glancing out the window, then adjusted the placement of her napkin-wrapped silverware. She"d flick her gaze to me every few seconds.

"What?" I cleared my throat.

"Why are you doing this?" Her voice was low, like she didn"t want anyone else to hear our conversation.

"Doing what?" I teased, but I knew exactly what she was asking.

"Taking me for breakfast. Holding doors open and pulling out my chair." She twisted her lips to the side and widened her eyes as she looked at me. Not in shock or surprise. More like she was serious and she was trying to get across just how serious she was by not blinking.

Sucking my tongue over my front teeth, I thought about it. Why was I doing this?

I was still pissed at her. Really fucking pissed that she just walked out before. But then I saw her with Kim while Atlas" lips were on her. Hell, even just being in her presence soothed some of the hurt feelings until I wanted to forget I was upset with her.

But I couldn"t. Digging deep inside my chest, I did my fucking best to hold onto those feelings while also enjoying the moment. It was confusing as fuck, but I was trying.

"Extending an olive branch," I finally settled on. Then I stretched my hands across the cheap Formica tabletop. I didn"t touch her, but I took up space. Lots of it.

Dropping her gaze, Beasty nodded like she was working it all out in her head.

"Aren"t you going to say anything else?" I asked, but at that point, the woman walked over, still smacking her gum, and dropped two plastic menus on the table.

"What can I get you to drink?"

"Coffee for me. Black." I looked at Beasty.

She pushed the menu back. "Coffee for me too, and a stack of pancakes, side of bacon, and one egg over medium."

"The Total package then. Anything for you?"

I shook my head.

The woman nodded and snatched the menus back off the table.

One side of my mouth kicked up. "You didn"t want to look at the menu?"

She smiled. "These diners all have the same thing. I knew what I wanted and I didn"t want to waste my time searching for the combination."

"Smart." I liked that she knew what she wanted, but damn, she"d changed in such a short time. When she was with us before, she hadn"t been so decisive. She hadn't been so confident either.

It looked good on her, even if it roused the anger inside me all over again. Kim should have been there to see her come into herself.

"Why didn"t you order anything?" She rested her elbows on the table. For a second, I let myself get lost in her gaze.

I was yanked out of my haze when the waitress set both mugs on the table. Beasty startled too.

"I had breakfast already. You still needed to eat, and you weren"t going to come out of your room anytime soon," I said wryly.

Her lips pressed together. Was she amused? Affronted? Both?

"I would have come out when I was hungry."

"This way you didn"t have to and you got out of the house."

She released a long breath and sat up straighter as she looked around. A soft smile on her face reflected in the window as she gazed outside. "This is nice. I feel normal right now."

"We"re not normal though."

"You"re not. But I am." All of that said in a matter-of-fact tone.

"No, Beasty." I tapped my fingers on the table to bring her attention back to me. "You"re not. You and us? We"re the only ones who matter. It"s okay to not be like other people. I actually enjoy being smarter than most of them."

Her eyes lit up.

Gotcha. See, Beasty. I could make you smile.

I swallowed down the anger enough to ask the next question. "What did you do while you were gone?"

We held each other"s stare. The sunlight hit her irises just right, bringing out the patterned emerald and gold as they contracted around her pupils.

"Why do you want to know?" She was no longer happy to be here, she was suspicious. My chest tightened because that wasn"t what I wanted either.

"I"m not going to hold it against you." I tapped on the table with both hands now. When I glanced back at her, I committed all of her features to memory. The angle of her long nose. The width of her mouth that could give her a harsh or serious edge.

The strong angle of her chin was also new. It showed just how stubborn she'd grown to be.

Sighing, I scrubbed a hand over my face as I scooted down even further in the seat. "I don"t know you. You"re right. You also don"t know us." I thought about how to say this next piece without either one, getting her hackles up, or two, scaring her away. "When you were gone, you changed. You grew up. I want to know what it was like and why you wanted that life so much."

Beasty softened right before my eyes. I leaned forward, pressing my chest to the table, getting as close as I could. Like magnets coming together, she did the same.

"Okay," she agreed. A tight coil inside my chest relaxed. Good. We were both going to ignore the elephant in the room. "I"ll start with the CliffsNotes. For the first time in my life, I was independent. I took care of myself and that, above anything else I think, made me feel good."

"And before, when you were with us, you didn"t feel like you could take care of yourself." She wasn"t wrong, but I couldn"t imagine any world where Lake or Atlas would let her run so much of her own life.

"No." Her mouth formed a small "o" on the word. Then she licked her lips, and I was fucking mesmerized. It was like watching card shuffling tutorials. They just captivated me.

"And you don"t think you could be happy with us?"

"I didn"t say that," she hedged, and my gaze snapped back up to her eyes. "But I don"t want to fall into the cycle."

"The cycle of what?" I furrowed my brows together, trying to piece together what I"d missed while I was stuck on her luscious lips.

"The cycle of life. The pattern of low-life people gaming the system and mistreating others. Whatever cycle people are born into."

What. The. Fuck.

"There"s no way you could fall back into that cycle."

She licked her lips again before rolling them together, lowering her eyelids just enough so that her eyelashes covered her eyes. "I wasn"t talking about me."

The floor literally fell out from under me. That was what she thought? I sizzled from the rage suddenly coursing through my blood. "You think we"re going to be like Gates? You think we want to hurt little boys?" I growled.

"What?" Her eyes popped open in panic. Her ponytail swung behind her as she shook her head. "I"d never think that." She threw her hand on top of mine and squeezed like she was desperate for me to believe her. "But you"re still falling back into the cycle. Don"t you want to get away from all that? Be someone better? Not turn out like the people who raised us?"

She was fucking shitting me.

"You think we"re evil? Is that it? You think we"re damaged because of what happened in our past?" I yanked my hand back. She was backtracking now, but that wasn't what she'd said.

"No." Her nostrils flared as she pulled her hand back. "That"s not it."

"You know what? I don"t give a fuck what it is. There"s a security guard in the lot. He"ll take you home when you"re done." I tossed cash on the table and stalked out, struggling to breathe.

Fuck this shit.

All these memories swirling inside my head. I hadn"t thought about them in years, and now flashes of Gates stormed through the barriers of my mind like it was all yesterday.

His smell. His touch. His smile as he caused us pain.

And Beasty thought we were falling back into the cycle. Her backtracking didn"t matter.

She compared us to that disgusting pig.

That was unforgivable.