Chapter 7

Justin watched her discreetly, intuitively realizing that she did not want to talk. All through the uneventful flight to Mexico, she had been uncharacteristically quiet, just content on staring out the window, a faraway expression on her face.

He felt helpless and angry as well as responsible for putting that look on her features. She had told him briefly that the conversation between her and that Earl guy had been terse.

“He has decided that it’s best if we wait to meet each other.”

“Did he say why?”

“No. He just said things are racing along too fast and we should slow things down.”

Now here in the villa assigned to them, she was sitting curled up on one of the love seats, her head resting on the cushions.

But enough was enough now. They were in beautiful Cancun with wonderful beaches and white sands. They were no longer freezing their asses off because they had left the cold weather behind.

He was going to make certain she took advantage of the place, and he was going to do his best to put a smile on her face.

“How about some lunch?”

Turning her head suddenly, she stared at him as if just realizing he was there.

“What?”

“Lunch, food…?” Tamping down the impatience, he pulled a chair over to sit in front of her. “Snap out of it.”

“I don’t know what you mean. I am just tired after the long flight.”

“And you had time for a siesta, but did not take it. What the hell did he say to you? And why on earth are you taking it so much to heart?”

“I am tired…”

“Dammit Cat! Talk to me. What is going on?”

Bending her head, she pleated the fringes of the throw she had covered herself with. “I told him I was heading to Mexico for a week with a friend and he told me to have a good time.”

“So?” He gave her a puzzled look. “Isn’t that the proper thing to say?”

“It’s the way he said it. He said take care of yourself and call me when you get back… That’s it. He never indicated that I should call him while I am away, never asked what I would be doing here, nothing.”

“You think he is cooling off?”

Her dark brown eyes shimmered with tears and sent fear straight to his guts. Cathy was tough, had to be because of her circumstances.

She had faced down bullies in that awful group home they had lived in and dealt with a tremendous number of trials and difficulties. But to see the vulnerable look on her face was enough to make him want to find the son of a bitch and beat the shit out of him.

There was also guilt, the awful guilt that was churning inside him. He was the one who had insisted on her doing this online dating thing.

“It seems that way.”

“And how do you feel?”

“Like an idiot,” she laughed hoarsely. “A fool who has fallen in love with a voice over the phone.”

“Cat…”

She shook her head. “Aside from you and Teresa, I never felt so comfortable and relaxed. I never met the guy, but it feels like I have known him forever. He made me feel secure and …” She passed a hand over her forehead.

“I cannot stop thinking about him. Even when I am with Byron, I am thinking about him, things we would talk about, the way he sounds- “A smile touched her lips.

“He has this distinctive voice, deep and authoritative, sexy, the kind that sends shivers up and down my spine. He is intelligent and articulate.” Leaning her head back, she shuddered out a breath. “And I sound like an idiot. Byron likes me.”

“He does…” Trying not to sound alarmed, he reached for her hands. “This man is someone you can see; someone you can go out with. I think you should cut off communication with this Earl person and try to make it work with Byron.” He drew in a breath and let it back out.

“And I also want to ask for forgiveness.”

“Whatever for?”

“I was the one who introduced you to this online nonsense. I should have left well enough alone.”

Her tapered eyebrows lifted. “Is the mighty Justin Moncrieffe admitting to being wrong?”

He cast her a pained look. “If you are going to be this way, I am heading to the beach without you.”

“There is nothing to apologize for.” She told him quietly. “And I will be okay.”

“Sure?”

She nodded. Pasting a smile on her lips, she squeezed his hands. “Let’s go to the beach.”

He beamed. “Now you are talking. Let’s get you into something skimpy. Who knows? We might both be able to find some sexy personages to take our minds off our troubles.”

“I am not picking up a total stranger.”

“They won’t be strangers for long.” He grinned at her and hauled her to her feet.

*****

“I was surprised to receive your call,” Diana stared at him tentatively as she took her seat.

Earl nodded. “When are you leaving?”

“Tomorrow. We wrap up tonight and head back in the morning. What about you?”

“I will be leaving in the morning as well.” He toyed with the saltshaker, a tiny frown on his brow.

“What is it?”

“I have been ruminating over what you said, the last time we were together.” Hooded gray eyes studied the lovely face. “That no woman would ever be able to look past my status to see the real me. Did you mean it?”

Diana shifted uncomfortably and was slightly relieved when the waiter came to get their orders.

“The soup du jour for me.”

“Same for me.”

They waited until the man had left before resuming the conversation.

“You are a very attractive and virile man.”

“But?”

“The money is always in the middle of it. I am sorry Earl, you asked for honesty, and I owe you that much,” she fiddled with her glass of water. “You told me yourself that the relationships never make it to more than three months. Have you asked yourself why?”

“I suspect that I have a knack of hooking up with greedy bitches like you.”

She flinched at the insult and bowed her head to avoid his eyes. “I made a mistake.”

“One that cost me a hell of a lot.” With an impatient flick of his wrist, he dismissed that.

“Why are you asking me these questions?”

“I am interested in someone,” he told her abruptly.

Diana felt her heart shifting and turning over. When he called and asked her to have lunch, she had been hoping that he was open to giving her a second chance. Now that she had time to reflect on what she did, she realized that she could have had something wonderful with him.

He was sometimes absorbed with business, but in bed, he was an excellent lover. Out of it, he was charming and witty, and she would have had financial security for life. She was getting too old for the business and the directors and producers, she worked with, were already hinting that her acting days were coming to an end.

It was becoming more and more difficult to find good parts that highlighted her talent, and she was sick and tired of the rat race. She was not into selling her soul to the highest bidder.

“If I might say something?”

“By all means.” His mouth twisted sardonically. “I am all ears.”

“You confided in me about your childhood.”

“And?” He bristled.

“You told me yourself that because of the lack of parental love, you were always searching for it wherever you can.”

His thick brows lifted, his expression turning ominous. “You are implying that I tend to jump in headfirst?”

“Don’t you?” She prodded softly. “When we first met, you decided that I was ‘the one’ and you lavished attention on me. You bought me expensive gifts as if ensuring that I stayed with you.”

His eyes burned with anger, but he realized it was true. After spending years living with emotionally retarded parents, instead of growing up being hard and brittle, he and his sister had been vulnerable and open to every emotional upheaval there was.

He had been through a series of broken relationships where he either went in too hard and fast or was emotionally unattached. He was starved for love and had been searching for it all his life.

Evelyn had finally found a man who loved her despite all her hangups, and the damages done by their parents, but still she was not completely happy. Her desperate need to have a child had been dashed because of her illness.

His mind flickered to the conversation he had with Cathy last night. She had told him she was going to Mexico with a friend and the first thought that leaped to his mind was that she was going with a guy. She had said it was business, but he was finding that difficult to believe. He had done it again.

Jumped in hard and fast and was now bearing the brunt of it. Jealousy was like a sharp sword twisting the insides of him and he was finding it very hard to deal with it. Best now to break things off before he becomes too attached.

He had basically told her goodbye last night when he said they should take things slow.

“Earl?”

Mentally shaking his head, he concentrated on the woman in front of him. “Forgive me, but I thought it would be appreciated if the man was attentive and generous.”

“Too generous,” Diana muttered.

He laughed harshly. “I had no idea that was a thing.”

“A woman likes to be treasured of course, but we also prefer having the man being physically present.”

His eyes glittered with anger. “You knew what I did for a living before we even met. I am a businessman with a lot of responsibilities, which means I travel a lot and work damned hard. Whenever you had to hightail it out of the country, I would understand, I told you initially that I would never stand in the way of your career, and I never did.

I supported you, cheered you on, was there for you when you started bitching about the parts you were receiving. But that was not enough, was it?”

Diana felt the shame and regret coursing through her body as she stared at him. He was very distinguished looking, with his ink black hair immaculately styled and his stormy gray eyes.

She had seen him naked numerous times and knew firsthand that beneath the silk sweater and precisely cut black trousers, lies a body made sinewy by vigorous exercises. He was very athletic and was religious in doing his workouts.

His sex was full and impressive, and he had a way of driving her crazy in bed. His lovemaking was intense. Even when he was not always there, he made certain to give her pleasure. She never had to fake an orgasm with him. Earl Drummond was the most skillful lover she ever had.

Which begs the question of why she had the need to take another lover.

“I was vain,” she whispered hoarsely, the soup no longer appealing to her tastebuds. “I wanted to be young again. I was grasping for something illusive, proving to myself that I was not in my thirties. I wished I could go back and undo what I did. The hurt and pain I caused you.” She started to reach for his hand on the table and thought better of it.

“You can’t,” he told her abruptly, no longer feeling the rage bubbling up inside him.

“Perhaps we could remain friends?” She ventured hopefully.

His brows arched. “Is that what you want?”

She laughed ruefully. “I want more than that, but I know that’s impossible.”

“It is.”

“Friends, then?”

He nodded. “Friends.”

*****

“Good Christ!” Barry the photographer was almost salivating as he stared through the lens of his high-tech camera. “This is pure gold man. Pure undiluted gold.” He was almost dancing around.

“You make the perfect couple in terms of pairing. And wearing just the top of this silk PJ top that barely covers your thighs, Cathy, is pure genius.” You even managed to make this guy look good.” He flicked a hand towards Justin who was lounging in a chaise after the shoot.

It had been a very long day with the producer shaking his head over the scenery, the lighting, the palm trees, the wind, everything, until he had finally settled on an ideal spot in the shade of an Everglades palm.

The outfit, black silk with a touch of bold red and green, was her own design and had taken the market by storm. The lightweight material was sexy without being overtly indecent and was unisex.

The bottom was altered to fit Justin’s long supple legs and was baggy around his thighs. The top had been made for plus sized women and settled on Cathy’s generous curves like a second skin.

They were positioned so that Justin was lounging against the trunk of the tree, shirtless, his supple bronzed golden-brown skin shown to advantage against the spectacular backdrop. Cathy was lying half on his lap, her head tilted slightly towards him, her thick dark brown hair streaming on his lap.

A soft seductive smile curved her lips. He was looking down at her, with a slightly amused tilt to his beautiful lips indicating that he knew secrets about her that he would rather not reveal.

“Darling, anything, and anyone can make me look good. I am a natural.” Golden-brown eyes twinkling, he sprang off the chair and hauled Cathy up against him, smacking her on the lips. “Are we done?”

“Yes. Good job everyone.” The producer clapped his hands gleefully. “We pick this up again in the morning. Go and enjoy the beautiful island.”

“What do you say, darling? Swimming or clubbing?”

“Clubbing.”

“You read my mind.”

*****

Coco Bonga was hopping, and the mindless noise of the crowd was exactly what she needed to get her mind off her troubles.

She had been checking her phone periodically for any sign that he had even texted her, but he remained silent. She had been in Mexico for two days now and not even a phone call. It hurts, she felt the pain of his rejection searing through her heart, but she was going to have to find a way to get him out of her heart.

It was déjà vu all over again. She had chosen the wrong guy. Byron had called and said that he missed her and couldn’t wait for her to get back.

“It is strange that I am missing you so much. Your effervescent personality is like a balm to my soul.”

She had chided him over his sentimentality.

“Laugh all you want, Cathy, but I really like you. Do you mind if I call you later?”

“I am going to a club and might not be back until very late. Then I have to be up early in the morning for another shoot.”

“Text me then.”

She could not help wishing it was Earl. What was it about him that appealed to her so much? She wondered. How can she be in love with a man she had never met? Was it the sound of his voice? It had to be.

“None of that.” She jumped at the sound of Justin’s voice in her ear.

“What?”

“You are brooding, darling and here we are in this incredibly lively and colorful scenery. There are men all around and I have personally seen some of them eyeing you with lustful eyes.” His own eyes wandered over her voluptuous curves in admiration.

She was wearing one of her designs, a metallic gold romper with flared legs. Her hair was loose and tumbling down her back. He found himself wishing and not for the first time, that he was straight.

“I could vacate the villa and let you have some time with Mario over there.” He jerked his head towards a buff looking Mexican, with thick black hair and an eager look on his attractive face.

“You know his name?”

“No!” Justin grinned at her. “They are all Mario’s to me.”

“That is stereotyping. And he might be looking at you.”

“Oh no, darling, he is definitely looking at you. What do you say?”

“I say no, because I am in a strange country, and I was never one to pick up men in clubs. I leave that to you.”

“Mean girl!” Kissing her on the cheek, he guided her through the crowd until they were at the bar. “Let’s drink our misery away. We don’t have to drive, thank God for that, so we can take advantage of whatever they are serving.

And we also get to look our fill at the live entertainments, especially the acrobats.” He nudged her onto a bar stool. “And hopefully enjoy ourselves.”

She did. Within minutes she found herself being entertained. With Justin around, it was hard for one to stay in the doldrums.

He made her laugh, his acerbic wit had her in stitches. He made fun of the men and women and disparaged the singer who went on stage. He also made certain she danced. They were both very good dancers and very soon they had the entire room staring and cheering them on.

She danced with several men and when a couple of them became too handsy, she gave him a look that had him behaving. She drank tequila, rum, Bacardi Blanco, and vodka and as the night advanced, found her head spinning and her body going fluid.

“It’s time to go.”

“What? No. I am having fun.” She protested.

“You are drunk darling.”

“I am not!”

“You were planning on dancing on the tabletop.” He grinned at her. “Let’s get you out of here before you start taking off your clothes.”

“I wouldn’t.”

“Let’s ensure you don’t.”

*****

Who was she with? He wondered, feeling the pain settling inside his chest. There were several times during his trip back home that he was tempted to call. And was hoping she would use the initiative to reach out.

He would have welcomed hearing her voice. Would have put aside his misgivings, his insecurities at the sound of her voice. But his phone remained silent. Not even a text message.

He had been plagued by memories of his childhood. The conversation with Diana had brought it all back. Not that it was ever far from his subconscious. It was always there, taunting him.

He recalled an incident when he had taken it up on himself to go into his mother’s bedroom. She and his father had separate suites and for a very long time, he thought it was natural for husbands and wives not to share the same space, until he was a teenager.

He had pushed the doors open to see her sitting around her vanity, brushing her long ink black hair. Her eyes had met his in the mirror and a disapproving frown had marred her smooth brow. “Where is nanny?”

“She is in bed. I had a nightmare. Mother, can you read me a story?”

Putting down the gold back brush with a snap, she rose gracefully. “Go back to bed.”

“I cannot sleep.”

She had stared at him coldly until he felt as if he wanted to just shrivel up and die.

“Is that how we brought you up? To complain and be afraid of your own shadow?” She had instantly rung the bell that had the nanny come running.

“Mistress!” The poor woman had gasped in fright as she came into the room.

“We pay you an exorbitant amount of money to take care of the children. See to the boy.”

“Mother, please.”

“Get him out of here and from now on, I do not expect this to happen again. Am I clear?”

Nanny had nodded and forcibly hustled him out of the room. He had spent the night crying in her arms. She had read him a story and got him to calm down.

“Why doesn’t she love us?” He had asked the woman.

“I am sure she does. But she is… She doesn’t know how to show it.”

Earl had never ventured into her room again and avoided her at all costs. It had been especially difficult for Evelyn, who had kept trying.

Pushing away from his desk, he strode over to the cabinet to pour himself a drink. He was back inside his empty apartment which felt even more lonely.

He had become accustomed to having a conversation with Cathy, now that was taken away from him. Diana was right. He had been so desperate for love, that it had consumed him. No more.