Chapter 6

Cathy forced herself to concentrate on the meal and the man seated across from her. She had almost called and cancelled the lunch date, after the night she had. The conversation with Earl had been stiff and unlike the ones they had in the past.

When she asked him why he sounded so brusque and almost formal, he had made the excuse that he was tired.

“In case, you have forgotten, we have a significant amount of time differences between us.”

“That never bothered you before.”

“I was in meetings for most of the day and I feel drained.”

They had spoken for a couple of more minutes before he said he had to go to bed. That had never happened before either. Usually, she was the one who insisted they end the conversation so he could get some sleep.

It had bothered her the entire night and had her tossing and turning on the bed. Damn him!

“I am so happy you decided to have lunch with me.” Byron enthused as he took a sip of his wine. “I was reluctant to return to my country at first. I married a French woman and ended up spending years in that country.

Sofia refused to leave France, and I was too much in love with her to leave her. So, I decided that I could run the magazines from anywhere in the world.”

“There were no children from the union?”

He shook his head sadly. “When she couldn’t conceive, we went to a specialist who did a thorough examination, and it was discovered that she had cysts on her ovaries. At first it was thought to be benign, but it turned out to be otherwise.”

“I am sorry.”

He nodded, a grim smile on his face. “It impacted us, especially her in a tremendous way and she never really recovered. She convinced herself that she was less of a woman because she could not give me a child. She even went as far as encouraging me to have one outside of the marriage.”

“Were you tempted?”

“No.” He shook his head. “But I am afraid, it made the situation even worse. Sofia thought I was sacrificing myself for her sake.” He shrugged. “I could not bear the thought of being with anyone else.”

“That’s commendable!” Cathy did not realize her voice sounded wistful. “Most men would jump at the chance to cheat.”

“I am not most men,” he told her softly, reaching for her hand. “I do not want to be forward Cathy, but I am attracted to you. I spent two years mourning my wife and had to use the magazines to cling to life and hope.

When I saw you in that ballroom, something stirred inside me for the first time in a while. I hope you will give me the chance to try and cultivate a relationship between us.”

Cathy drew her hand away slowly and picked up her glass of wine.

“I have offended you. I have lived in France too long and picked up some of their lesser attractive habits. I tend to get right to the point.”

“No.” She shook her head. “It’s not that. I am flattered by what you just said and frankly I don’t know what to make of it. I am kind of seeing someone.”

A frown pleated his brow.

“You said ‘kind of’. Would you care to explain that to me?”

Cathy rolled her shoulders restlessly. He was a very attractive man and appeared to be sincere. If she had met him before she started doing this online thing, she would have gone for it. His story was moving and had touched the core of her. He was probably the kind of man she would want in her life.

“Online dating.”

“Ah.” A smile curved his lips. “I believe it’s all the rage these days.” He eyed her thoughtfully. “Forgive me for saying this, but you don’t seem the kind of woman who would need something like that.”

“Why not?”

“You are exquisite, and you have a kind of presence that is noticeable from a distance.” His eyes wandered over the flawless face and abundance of hair tumbling around her shoulders. She was wearing an orange sweater with a scoop neckline and a series of stones glittering on the left bodice.

He knew she was a designer and had been featured in some of their magazines. Meeting her in person was quite a treat. She was not the type of woman he usually went for, his Sofia had been as slender as a reed, but then again, no one could compare to his wife.

She still held a significant space in his heart that could never be replaced. Cathy would make a suitable mate for him, and he had decided last night that he wanted her for his mistress. He had a distinct feeling that she would be very eager and active in bed.

Marriage was out of the question of course. He had promised Sofia that he would never take another wife and even if he hadn’t, the thought of it turned his stomach.

“Why, thank you.” She smiled at him, and he felt his heart shifting.

She was truly a beautiful woman.

“Does that mean I don’t stand a chance? Who is this man you are dating and how advanced is the relationship?” He interpreted her quizzical look and smiled. “I want to know if I can be in the running.”

“You make it sound like a race,” she toyed with her veal. “We are still in the phone stage of the relationship. He wants to meet, but he is away on a business trip.”

“How long has this been going on if you don’t mind my asking.”

“Three weeks.”

His eyebrows arched. “And he has not insisted on meeting you face to face? Isn’t that a bit odd?”

“No.” She shook her head. “It’s me. I have been hesitating.”

“Why?”

She stared at him for a few seconds before answering. “I have been known to make some drastic mistakes in the men I get involved with. So, I have decided to practice caution.”

He reached for her hand again. “Are those idiots blind?”

She laughed, charmed by his flattery, which appeared to be sincere.

“Please hold your opinion until you get to know me better,” she warned.

A smile touched his mouth. “Does that mean I get to see you again?”

“I don’t know. Maybe.”

“I would like to, Cathy.” His hand pressed against hers. “I would like to remove those bad memories of your past and show you how it’s supposed to be between a man and a woman. I have no idea what those men did…”

“It was not all on them. In all fairness, I contributed to the failure as well. I am a workaholic, and my career often consumes me.”

“You are creative and very talented. I have seen your designs and am amazed by your sensitivity to what women – plus-sized women are looking for. You make them look sexy, proud to be the women they are. And that is not something that a lot of people could accomplish.”

She took umbrage at that. Pulling her hand away, she picked up her glass. “That’s just it, isn’t it?” She asked scathingly. “We have been indoctrinated by the system into thinking that women of a certain size are unattractive. If you are not a size zero to size four, you are overweight and unworthy of wearing designer labels.

We are labeled ‘fat and slovenly’ too many women, too much flesh.” Her brown eyes flashed with fire that had him staring at her. “I wanted to change that and by God, I intend to force men and women alike to realize that being of a certain size does not mean one is ugly or unacceptable. That’s why I do what I do.”

Byron found himself rethinking his former idea of simply taking her to his bed. She was truly a magnificent creature, and her passion was like an aphrodisiac. He felt something stirring in his loins and was surprised at how much he wanted to drive himself deep inside her.

“And you have done a remarkable job in showing the public that plus-sized women are to be lauded.” He said smoothly, doing his best to tamp down his rising lust.

He wanted to suggest they go back to his place and spend the afternoon getting to know each other in a more animalistic way but intuited that would not go over well with her. He wanted her but was going to have to play it safe for now.

This online nonsense she had going on would have to come to an end.

“I overreacted. I am sorry.”

“Please do not apologize. I admire your passion for your work. Never apologize for it.”

*****

Cathy could not concentrate on work. Usually whenever she was feeling this restless and out of sorts, she would go outside and attack the weeds invading her flower beds, but it was too cold and it had rained last night, making it worse. Lunch had been pleasant, and she had to admit that she enjoyed the company.

Byron was charming and funny and sensitive. He seemed to genuinely like her. The story about his wife had touched her heart and she knew instinctively that he still loved her. She found herself wondering what it was like to be loved with that kind of intensity that surpasses even death.

And her mind had drifted to Earl. Even during the lunch date, she found her mind wandering to him. What was he doing? Was he really on a business trip as he claimed? And if so, who was keeping him warm at nights.

Her thoughts were irrational of course, he spent all his nights talking with her. Except last night when he had been aloof and barely civil. What had changed? Had he met someone and didn’t know how to tell her?

Placing her hands at the small of her back, she stretched languidly and rotated her head. She had been back from lunch an hour ago with the intention of getting some work done, but so far, all she had to show for her effort was the lackluster design of a bodysuit. Her mind was not on the designs. Reaching for the phone, she called Justin.

“You had better be dying.” He growled.

“Are you still in bed?”

“Yes, darling, and I am not alone.”

“Tough. I need to talk.”

“Want me to come over?”

“I thought you had company.”

“He should be leaving in a few minutes. Just enough time to take a shower and get myself camera ready.”

“You are always camera ready.”

“I am at that. See you in a few.”

She hung up with a smile. It had always been that way with them. She would call and Justin would come running. He spoiled her and she did the same for him. The few men she had been with, had never understood their relationship and had been resentful enough to hint that it was unhealthy.

One had blatantly remarked that he did not believe Justin was really ‘a queer’ and the closeness between them was not healthy. She had told him off in no uncertain terms and told him to get the hell out of her life.

He had stared at her incredulously and exclaimed. “You are choosing that queer over me?”

“Any day, honey.”

Rising gracefully, she stretched some more and went into the kitchen to put the kettle on. Picking up her phone, she stared at the silent screen and was almost tempted to call him.

To hear his voice and to get back to where they had been before. But she resisted the urge. She had learned over the years that coming across as desperate only drove men away.

Putting the phone back, she went to get the pouch from the cupboard.

*****

“Women will always see you as an opportunity, a way out, first and foremost. Don’t get me wrong, you are extremely attractive, and you are great in bed when you manage to take your mind off business.

But you have always been detached Earl, and I suppose it’s normal for a man like you with so many responsibilities. But it makes us women feel inadequate, wanting more.”

Diana’s damning words reverberated inside his head and was driving him crazy. He knew he should ignore them and not take it out on Cathy, which was what he had done last night.

He had been suspicious as hell, wondering who she had been with at that party. She hadn’t mentioned specifics, and he had been afraid to ask. He had been curt to the point of rudeness, but unable to help himself.

He had also done something he had not done since he started talking to her. He had lied and told her that he was tired and had some early morning meetings. He had also spent the rest of the morning in a state of surliness.

The meeting had taken a turn when he started asking some pointed questions that demanded answers. The men had seen the writing on the wall and had been taciturn and unforthcoming.

Now he was walking along the Mercato Centrale, restlessly. He had contemplated buying her a ruby and diamond bracelet in one of Russo’s exclusive jewelries sections but thought better of it. He had no idea what she looked like or even if she liked jewelry that much.

And he was getting ahead of himself. The conversation with Diana had been enlightening. It had hurt like the son of a bitch, but he respected her honesty.

When he thought he had feelings for her, he had overwhelmed her with expensive gifts.

“One would think you are trying to buy my love,” she had said teasingly.

But wasn’t that what he had been doing? He wondered dismally. He and Evelyn had been brought up by parents who had been cold and clinical. Eric and Wilma Drummond had had an arrangement. His father had married his mother to add to the depleting coffer, but there had been no love lost between them.

Earl and his sister had watched the two people who had given them life, behave like complete strangers. In public when they were entertaining and that was frequent – they had put on a show of being a perfect family. His mother had been beautiful, with her smoky gray eyes and ink black hair and creamy complexion.

Eric had enjoyed showing her off to the public and would spend his nights carrying on with his mistresses. His mother had been aware of his extramarital affairs but had not cared about them at all.

She had not cared about anything, not her husband and certainly not her children. She had entertained, was the perfect hostess, but had denied her children the comfort of her words and the security of her arms.

They had given up trying to get his parents to show them love. Around the dinner table, they were expected to behave ‘civilized’. Conversations had not been encouraged and the atmosphere in that house had been oppressive.

Evelyn used to sneak into his suite and spend some nights there. They were not allowed to have friends over and they were not allowed to go to sleep overs.

So, he had spent the time looking for love and never found it. He thought he had found it with Diana but had been dead wrong. He could not afford to make that mistake again.

He was going to have to take a step back. He was getting too involved and very soon, he was going to go headlong into a relationship without getting to know the person.

His money was a damned curse when it came to relationships, and he found himself resenting the fact that he was so wealthy. He couldn’t trust anyone and after the conversation with Diana, it was worse than ever.

*****

Cathy stared at him in shock.

“You are joking.”

Justin shrugged, sending her his charming smile, with a hint of mischief that had graced many popular magazines.

“As a heart attack. It came to me yesterday when I was speaking to my agent. The photoshoot will be in Cancun. It is sleepwear and you have designed some incredibly sexy ones. My agent immediately got in touch with Monique, and she is sold on the idea.”

“You had no right…”

“Oh hush.” Reaching across the glossy counter, he placed a finger vertically over her lips to stop the rest. “The photoshoot needs a boost, and it will be excellent publicity for the stores. Besides,” removing his finger, he settled back on the bar stool and eyed her.

“We both need a break from the men in our lives. I picked up someone from Roxie’s last night and could not remember the fellow’s name. From what you have told me about Earl and Byron, it seems that you also need to take a break.”

“This from the guy who insisted I needed a man.” She scoffed.

“I still think so,” he flashed her a grin, “but a week in Cancun will do us very well. Say yes.”

“No.” She shook her head.

“I need you.”

She rolled her eyes at him. “Emotional blackmail is not going to work. I am not a model.”

“That’s exactly what we need,” he said pleadingly. “Someone who is never usually in front of the camera. You have excellent skin tone, and you photograph better than any of those skinny asses who call themselves models. It is going to be a major campaign…” his expression turned crafty.

“And it is mostly for charity. Leesa and Kelly and several others are involved. There was a major hurricane in several third world countries, and it did catastrophic damages. You said yourself that you wished you could do more than write a check, well darling, here is your chance.”

She gave him a dirty look which only had him grinning.

“I hate you.”

“I adore you.” Lifting her hand, he kissed it lavishly. “What do you say?”

“I don’t know,” she hedged. She was sympathetic to the needs around her and was always trying to see what she could do to help. She was actively involved in a couple of organizations that provided for the various children’s home around the country.

At Christmas, she helped out in soup kitchens in the downtown areas and was involved in the drive to source clothes for the children in the various group homes.

She had been through the system and knew firsthand what it meant to be passed over and have to wear hand me downs. It had been unpleasantly debasing, and she did her best to try and alleviate that sort of thing at all costs.

“You are still hoping that things will work out between you and that person.”

“His name is Earl,” she snapped. Pulling her hand away, she dragged it through her hair.

“And it might be that he is going through a difficult time.”

“That does not give him the right to be short with you.”

She cast him a look. “You are biased where I am concerned,” she reminded him dryly.

“Damn right I am,” he responded swiftly. “I have seen you go through a lot, and I am not going to stand by and see anyone trample on your heart.”

Her shoulders slumped. “I really like him Jus,…”

His expression softened as he reached for her hand. “Then perhaps it’s a good idea for you to take a step back.”

“He is due back the end of the week.”

“And it could be a good idea for you to show him that you are not desperate.”

Her eyes flashed. “I am not!”

“I know you aren’t darling. But as men, we like to think we are the ones doing the chasing.” He grinned at her baleful expression.

“What the hell do you know?”

“I will ignore that snide comment and chalk it down to your state of mind!” He twined his fingers though his expression turned sober. “I need you with me darling. Not only to be my companion and to put on an excellent show that is going to make an exorbitant amount of money, but also to keep me from falling into bed with random strangers.”

“Aren’t you getting too old for that to happen?”

“You are never too old to make mistakes and last night I was very lonely,” he told her archly.

“Did it help?”

“No,” he murmured. “It only made me feel like shit. I booted the guy out as soon as I finished talking to you and scrubbed myself free of his cloying cologne. So, there you are. You are needed in my life to stop me from self-destructing.”