Chapter 30

Chapter Thirty

Delton felt like he was teetering on the edge of a cliff. His hands were clammy, his heart was racing, and his stomach churned as if he were about to throw up. How would Adar react?

Dammit, Oliver should never have told him. Delton hadn’t been happy about Oliver’s matchmaking schemes, which had already been way too obvious to him, but to his luck, Adar hadn’t picked up on it so far. But this harebrained idea of them having sex? What on earth had gotten into Oliver that he would propose that?

“I’m sorry, what?” Adar said. “I don’t think I heard you correctly.”

“You did.” Oliver raised his chin. “I think Delton belongs with us. As our third.”

Adar swallowed. “But I don’t… No offense, Delton, but I don’t see you that way.”

How many times could a heart break? It seemed Delton was destined to have his smashed to pieces again and again. “I know,” he mumbled.

“What makes you think this?” Adar asked.

Delton pointed at Oliver. “Ask him. This is all him. I never said I thought we were a triad.”

“You didn’t? Then how…? Are you in love with Oliver?”

Good grief, how thick could one man be? Either Adar was the most blind person on the planet, or Delton had been far more subtle in his affections than he had intended. Well, if it was time to tell the truth, he might as well bare his soul and get it over with, right? Because, at some point, Adar would figure it out anyway. Better to rip off that particular Band-Aid right now and be done with it. Then, he could find a quiet corner to sulk in for the rest of his life. Or maybe he should transfer to the Hayes pack. In fact, that was not a bad idea.

“No, Adar, it’s you. I thought you and I were mates.”

Adar’s frown deepened. “But why would you think that when you knew Oliver and I were together?”

Oliver held up a hand. “Not to be a bitch, but we’re not together together. Yes, I have acknowledged we’re mates, but you and I are not in a formal relationship yet.”

“Still, how could Delton think that when he knew we’re mates?”

Great, now they were talking about him as if he wasn’t in the room with them anymore. How very fitting. “Because I thought you were my mate long before Oliver showed up. In fact, I have felt that way from the first time we met.”

Adar’s expression changed from nonplussed to understanding. Finally, the truth seemed to register with him. “That long? But you never said anything.”

Delton gave a helpless shrug. “Because I thought we had time and that, maybe, it wouldn’t be clear to you until we found our third.”

“So you do think we’re a triad. “

“No. I thought I was wrong about you and me.” He let out a humorless laugh. “Anyone can see the connection between you two. It was pretty obvious from day one that I can’t compete with that, so I concluded I must’ve been wrong.”

Adar’s face showed the emotion Delton had feared most of all—pity. “I’m sorry. I like you, and I was excited about building a friendship with you, but that’s all. I don’t see you that way.”

Delton’s throat was so tight he was surprised he could still get words out. “I know. It’s not your fault. You never knew.”

“But you did.” Adar turned toward Oliver. “You knew how he felt about me, and you still pushed us together. You were the one who suggested we become friends, and when he offered to do the impact play with me, you jumped on that. Why would you do that? Why would you set him up to be hurt like that?”

Two big tears dripped down Oliver’s cheeks. “Because I thought you would come to see the truth, that you would fall for him the way you have fallen for me. I thought if you spent time with him, you’d see how amazing he is and how well he fits with us.”

“With us? I thought there was no us. That’s what you just said.” Adar pushed his chair back and rose. “Either way, I don’t care for the way you manipulated Delton and me, and I hate that because of you, he’s now hurting. I’m going to need some time to think and see if I can get past this.”

The barn had grown quiet as if sensing the gravity of this moment, and every face in the room followed Adar as he turned his back on Delton and Oliver and walked out. As soon as he had disappeared, Oliver burst into tears, loud sobs that echoed through the barn.

Fallon ran over to him. “What happened?” Then to Delton, “What did you do?”

Delton shook his head. “No, this is not on me. This is all him. He played a game and got found out.”

Was he too harsh? Maybe, and it didn’t leave him unaffected. Each one of Oliver’s sobs stung like a knife to his heart.

“How can you be so mean to him? Don’t you know what he’s been through?” Fallon all but shouted at him.

Apparently, it was let’s-take-a-hit-at-Delton day.

“Fallon!” Sivney’s voice rang out loud and clear. “I need you to stop right there.”

Sivney hurried over, a murderous expression on his face.

“But he made Oliver cry,” Fallon protested.

“No, honey. Oliver is crying. That doesn’t make it Delton’s fault or his responsibility. And while I’ll be the first to acknowledge that what he went through with the Murphys was horrible, it doesn’t mean we can’t hold him accountable for his actions.”

His words hugged Delton like a warm embrace, a tacit agreement he wasn’t in the wrong. As much as he hated that Oliver was so upset, he wouldn’t take responsibility for it because it wasn’t his fault. None of this was. He’d never intended to tell anyone about his feelings for Adar, and even after Oliver had figured it out, Delton had asked him to keep it from Adar. Oliver had disregarded his request, and this was the result.

“How do you know it’s not Oliver’s fault?” Fallon demanded.

Sivney put a hand on Fallon’s shoulder. “Because it’s my job to know things. You’re a good friend, Fallon, and I know you’re only trying to look out for Oliver, but maybe ask him about the details first before you make up your mind that Delton is in the wrong here. Or Adar, for that matter.”

“He’s right,” Oliver said softly. “This is all my fault. I hurt them both.”

Fallon’s face fell. “What happened?”

Delton rose from his chair. “Excuse me. This isn’t a conversation I need to be a part of.”

He ignored everyone staring at him and stepped out of the barn, blindly walking past cabins until he reached the edge of the forest and kept walking. Finally, the tears got so bad he couldn’t see where he was planting his feet anymore, so he sunk to his knees and sobbed.

How had everything gone so wrong? Why was it that everyone else found happiness with each other, but he was destined to be alone forever, pining after a man who wasn’t his and would never be? How could fate be this cruel? Didn’t he deserve a happily ever after?

He cried until he had no more tears to spill, but he kept sitting, burying his head between his knees. How could he face everyone else after this? After they had seen his utter humiliation? No, he’d have to request a transfer to the Hayes pack. Of course they would also know what had happened, but at least they hadn’t been there to witness it.

The only other option was to leave the pack. Some other packs had popped up, none quite as famous as the original two, but they seemed to be doing all right. Maybe he should try his luck there. Make a fresh start. Lord knew he would never get that here.

A twig snapped nearby, and he looked up. Oh, for fuck’s sake. “I don’t need your pity,” he said.

“That’s not why I’m here.”

“Well, you’re not the type to gloat or revel in someone else’s misery, so why are you here?”

Adar approached slowly and lowered himself to the ground next to Delton. “Because you could use a friend.”

“You don’t have to do this. You’re not responsible for any of this.”

“I know. But I meant what I said. I want us to be friends, and this is what friends do, isn’t it?”

Delton stole a glance sideways. “Even now that you know how I feel about you?”

Adar took his time answering. “How do you feel about me? Because it seems to me there’s a big difference between thinking we’re mates and having a crush on me and being in love with me. The reason I know is that right now, I’m wondering how I feel about Oliver.”

“He didn’t do it on purpose. He never meant to hurt me.” Despite everything, Delton couldn’t help but defend Oliver.

“I know.” Adar sighed. “That doesn’t make it okay, though. Him keeping this from me doesn’t bode well for our communication as a couple. He should’ve been honest with me.”

“I have to disagree with you on that one. He should never have mentioned this at all when he found out about it, which, for the record, he did on his own. I never told him, but he figured it out. And believe me, I wanted him to forget about it, to pretend he didn’t know.”

“Fair enough.”

“But to answer your question, since it seems to be a day of truths anyway, I guess it’s somewhere between a crush and thinking we’re mates. I can’t say I’m in love with you because we haven’t spent that much time together, and I don’t know you that well. But I could be. I guess the reason why it’s hurting so much is that I have to say goodbye to this feeling of potential.”

“I can relate to that now as well. My relationship with Oliver feels a hell of a lot less natural now than it did before.”

The alpha sounded sad, if not heartbroken, and Delton’s heart went out to him. “You never saw this coming, so it must’ve hit hard.”

“It did. But then again, I guess some of this is my fault.”

“How so?”

Adar picked a leaf from the ground and twirled it between his fingers. “I should’ve seen it. If Oliver figured it out, why didn’t I?”

Delton smiled. “Is that your wounded pride talking?”

Adar looked sideways, and when their eyes connected, he shot him a shy smile. “Probably. It makes me wonder what else I missed.”

“Don’t blame yourself. I didn’t want you to know.” Delton’s smile faded. “Though I have to admit I wasn’t as stealthy as I thought. Sivney picked up on it too, and he said some others in the pack were speculating about us as well. Until Oliver showed up, that is.”

“Does anyone else think we could be a triad?”

He wouldn’t lie to Adar, no matter how humiliating or painful the truth was. “Sivney raised that possibility, but I shut him down.”

“Out of curiosity, why don’t you think you belong with Oliver and me?”

Delton closed his eyes, saying a silent prayer for composure. “I’ve seen the way you look at him. From the moment he arrived, you fell for him and stepped into the role of his protector. It was obvious you two shared something special, something I wasn’t a part of and could never be.” He made a helpless gesture. “I can’t compete with that. What you two have is on a whole different level, and I would always be an afterthought, an add-on. I may not have a lot of pride left, but I do value myself enough not to settle for that.”

“And you shouldn’t. You deserve way more than that.”

He hadn’t denied it, though. “But you agree?”

Adar shredded the leaf. “If you’d asked me yesterday, yes, I would’ve agreed. But after today? I don’t know, man. I’m asking myself a lot of questions I never did before.”

“I guess the honeymoon phase is over.”

“Yeah, you can say that again. I thought I knew Oliver, but clearly, I was wrong.”

“In all fairness, you didn’t know him. You two have barely spent time together besides you shadowing him, and considering he’s only been verbally communicating for a short time, you never had the chance to get to know him. But you thought you did, and I think that’s why this was such a nasty shock. You put him on a pedestal, Adar, and now he fell off hard. That part is not his fault.”

Adar bumped his shoulder. “You know what I appreciate about you so much? You tell the truth. Other people would’ve tried to make me feel better or would’ve told me what they thought I wanted to hear, but you continue to hold up this mirror. I don’t always like it in the moment, but it’s often what I need to grow.”

“Thank you. That’s a wonderful compliment, one I will treasure.”

“You’re a great guy, Delton. That’s why I am so upset about all this. You’re about the last person I wanted to see hurt.”

“Thank you.”

“I know this is not what you hoped for, and I’d understand if you said no, but I would love for us to be friends.”

Friends. No, that wasn’t what Delton had hoped for at all, but it was sweet of Adar to offer. “I’m not sure if I’ll stay in the pack.”

“You’re switching to the Hayes pack?”

Was it Delton’s imagination, or did Adar sound upset? “Either that, or I’m going to look for a different pack. I don’t know if I can stay here now that everyone knows.”

Another long pause. “I understand that, but… Please reconsider. You’re not only a wonderful and much-needed asset to the pack, but you’re also a stand-up guy and a great friend. I don’t want to lose you. That sounds selfish, and maybe it is, but I feel like we just connected, and the idea of you leaving makes me sad.”

“It’s not because of the impact play?”

Adar looked confused, which confirmed that it hadn’t occurred to him. “No. That wasn’t even a consideration.”

Was it enough? Could he be Adar’s friend and forget about the dreams he’d harbored for so long about a future for them? “I’ll think about it.”