Chapter 12

CHAPTER 12

Hey, aunties, I heard that you got a ton of new sign-ups thanks to your hack

Eleanor Roosevelt:

Kiki:I don’t know whether I should be congratulating you or telling you off for hacking into everyone’s iPad

Eleanor Roosevelt:What can we say? We’re scrappy!

SJP:Resourceful. Outside-the-box thinkers

Kiki:Rule breakers. Some might even call it delinquent behavior

Eleanor Roosevelt:Ci Kiki! I thought you of all people would appreciate ingenuity!

I chuckle and shake my head at my phone. I glance up at my computer, where I’m waiting to be logged on to WH. It loads then, and I click on my Friends list, cackling evilly when I see that Jonas is online. Mwahaha!

Kiki:Hey, aunties, I’ve got one new sign-up for you.

Eleanor Roosevelt:Who?

Kiki:My classmate Peishan Wongso. And I met with Zoelle Tanady and she said she signed up already.

SJP:Yes she did! Zoelle Tanady is a STAR! She played Juliet in last year’s play. She was sooo good

Wow, okay, did not know that, but now that I do, I can totally see Zoelle shining on the stage.

Cool! Well, they both really wanna be set up. Zoelle wants to be set up with Klodiya Febina

Eleanor Roosevelt:Done

Kiki:That was fast. Is Klodiya one of your customers?

SJP:They’re clients, not customers

Kiki:Okaaay, is Klodiya a client?

Eleanor Roosevelt:Not yet, but she will be

Kiki:I have a feeling I don’t wanna know how you’re planning to achieve that

SJP:No, you don’t. And what about Peishan? Does she have someone in mind?

---

—An hour later, I’ve managed to kill Jonas about seven times on three different battlefields. Each time, he’s raged at me and threatened to, (1) Report me to the mods, (2) Hunt me down IRL, and (3) Beat the shit out of my scrawny loser’s ass. Oh, Jonas. He’s nothing if not predictable.

I log off, still wearing my villainous smile. Then I check the notifications on my phone, and my smile falls off my face.

Hey, come out for coffee. We’re setting up my matchmaking profile.

Technically, Peishan has done nothing wrong. In fact, she’s turning out to be pretty cool. But I can’t ignore the fact that she wants to be matched with Liam. The idea of Liam being set up with Peishan is making me want to curl up in a dark corner and inject chocolate straight into my veins while listening to emo music. But I know I’m just being selfish. There’s nothing between Liam and me, and there can never be anything more than being friends. And it’s all my fault. It’s all because I’ve been so deceitful. Maybe I could’ve come clean to him the moment I found out that he’s Sourdawg, but now it’s way past the acceptable window of time where I could be, like, “Guess what? I’m your online bestie, Dudebro!” and not have it be massively weird.

Come to Kopi-Kopi. You live in Senayan, right? It should be abt 5 min from ur house

Whaaa? I’m about to say no when I realize that this is exactly what I’ve been aching for. A group of girlfriends I can hang out with after school. It’s just that it’s happening so quickly I have no idea how to react. No, wait, I know exactly how to react. By behaving like a normal person and saying yes! To hell with Liam. I need girlfriends more than I need my online crush. I type out a quick “OK” and change into my jeans and a shirt in record time. As I rush down the stairs, Mami’s head pops out from the kitchen.

“Oh, Kiki! I didn’t even realize you were home. Where are you off to?” There’s a vinegary smell from the kitchen, which tells me she’s making kombucha again.

“To see some friends from school.” She looks surprised before she smiles, and anger leaps in my chest, because she doesn’t get to be happy that I finally have friends again. None of this was her doing. I duck my head and make my way to the door.

“Have a good time!” she calls out.

I ignore her and make sure to close the front door extra hard on the way out.

When I get to Kopi-Kopi, I find not just Peishan and Zoelle but Trissilla, another classmate, and a girl I don’t recognize.

“This is Renata. She’s from Eleven Diligence,” Zoelle says. “She wants to sign up too.”

Renata rubs her palms together. “Oh yeah, I’m ready to be matched up with all the hotties!”

That gets a laugh out of me. I sit across from them.

“Kiki here has all the inside intel about this app,” Zoelle says, putting an arm around my shoulders and squeezing me. “You’re going to help us make our profiles appeal to whoever’s running the app, right?”

“Um…” I hesitate, because it sounds like they think the people behind the app are seasoned pros instead of two thirteen-year-old kids. I want to tell them who’s behind it, but I also don’t want to risk getting Eleanor Roosevelt and Sarah Jessica into trouble. The more people that know who the Lil’ Aunties are, the higher the chances of the school finding out. “I’ll help. Although I’m sure you guys have everything under control. And the matchmaking app is definitely not foolproof. I was set up on a date with Jeremiah, and he could not get out of there fast enough.”

Zoelle’s mouth drops open. “Wait, what happened with Jeremiah? And are we talking about Jeremiah Riady?”

“Yeah. And nothing happened. We were…” My voice trails away, and I hesitate. “Wait, I signed an NDA. That means I can’t talk about the date.”

They all stare at me. I shrug. “It’s contractually binding!”

“We won’t tell,” Peishan says. “Come on, spill.”

I sigh. “Okay, but if anyone decides to press charges, you guys are gonna have to pay for my lawyer.”

Zoelle laughs. “Done.”

“Okay, so Jeremiah showed up, took one look at me, and said, ‘I’m not going on a date with Crazy Kiki.’ And that was it. He left right away.”

They all look horrified. After a stunned silence, Trissilla says, “What the fucking fuck?”

“Triss!” Renata says.

Trissilla glares at her. “No, but seriously! What a little asshole. He’s one of my twin’s best friends. I can’t believe he’s such a jerk. Next time he comes over to our place, I’m going to…” She narrows her eyes. “I don’t know what I’m gonna do, but it’s not going to be good.”

“Okaaay,” Renata says.

Peishan chews on her lip as she watches me. Then, in a small voice, she says, “I’m sorry.”

“Huh? What for?”

Her mouth purses. “I was there the whole time, in class, watching the whole ‘Crazy Kiki’ thing catching fire, and I never did anything to stop it. I just sat there and sort of…hoped it would go away on its own. I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry too,” Zoelle says. “We should’ve said something.”

“We should’ve,” Triss says. “We were all too chickenshit to say anything.”

My throat closes up with tears, and I have to suck in a breath very slowly through my mouth. I swallow hard. “It’s okay,” I say thickly. And it really is. I mean, being called Crazy Kiki is definitely not okay, but sitting here and hearing these girls say they’re sorry is so healing, a large part of me wants to cry and cling to them. I clear my throat. “Anyway, so how can I help with your profiles?”

“Well, given there are so many new sign-ups, we want to make sure ours will stand out,” Peishan says.

“She wants to make sure she’s matched with Liam,” Zoelle says.

“Ahem, me too,” Triss says.

Peishan glares at her, and the two of them narrow their eyes at each other for a few moments before they both double over laughing.

“You two are such dorks,” Renata says.

“Hey, it’s not a crime to be into the same guy,” Triss says.

I shrug, my cheeks turning warm. I don’t know how to feel about them liking Liam, but it’s really cool to see that Triss and Peishan are still friends regardless of their feelings for Liam. I need to follow in their footsteps and be as gracious as they’re being. “Okay,” I say. “Honestly, I don’t really know what would appeal to the people running the app, but we can at least make sure your answers are really interesting.”

“Yay!” Triss claps. “Okay, can we start?”

A server arrives with trays of iced coffees with palm sugar syrup and plates piled high with croffles.

“We ordered the same drink for everyone,” Zoelle says. She glances at me. “You drink coffee, right?”

“Of course!” I grab one of the cups and take a sip of the rich, strong coffee. Happiness blooms inside me, a warm flower. Good coffee and warm pastries and a tableful of giggly girls. I never want this afternoon to end.

We spend over two hours there, taking our time to pick out the most flattering photos of Triss, Peishan, and Renata for their profiles. Then we go through each question, and the proposed answers start off serious but soon morph into jokey ones, which have us all cackling.

What do you look for in a match?

Triss:Liam.

Peishan:Hey! You can’t just say “Liam”! You need to come up with a description!

Triss:Okay, however you want to describe Liam, that’s what I’m looking for in a match.

Zoelle:Sooo desperate. Me, I want hip dips.

Everyone:Hip dips??

Zoelle:I have a thing for them! Stop being so judgey!

Q:What is the most interesting thing about you?

Renata:I’m into scuba diving.

Me:Ooh, that’s really cool!

Renata:Yeah, my family and I go to Bali once a month to dive. I’m competing in—

Triss:Okay, okay. If you let her, she’ll spend the whole day talking about diving. Just write down “Diver.” And that’s enough.

Me:Haha, okay. But I would love to hear more about it some other time! What about you, Triss? What’s the most interesting thing about you?

Renata:Triss is a true Crazy Rich Asian.

Me:Ooh. Really?

Triss:No, not—

Peishan:Yes, really. Her parents own the Kwangtang Zipper. Check your jeans’ zip.

Me:Oh my god, it says KWT! That’s your family company? But these jeans are from Zara.

Triss:Yeah, Zara, GAP, etc. They all buy zippers from my family company.

Me:Incredible!

Zoelle:She seems sweet, but she’s rich enough to hire hitmen if her date is bad.

Me:…You’re kidding, right?

Triss:Oh my god, don’t listen to them! Of course I wouldn’t!

Everyone:She would.

Triss:I would not!

Me:Uh-huh. “Make sure date is fun and awesome.” Got it.

Before I know it, it’s fully dark outside. I’m exhausted but in a really good way. Playing WH and killing Jonas and chatting with Liam is great, but there’s just something about having a good group of girlfriends to laugh with that feeds my withered, jaded soul. And I would do practically anything to keep this going, which means that tomorrow, I will let the Lil’ Aunties know that Liam has got two girls who want to date him.

---

“A match?” Liam blinks at Eleanor Roosevelt like she’s just started speaking Russian to him.

The Lil’ Aunties ambushed Liam and me right outside our classroom at recess time and told Liam proudly (in low voices, since they don’t want the entire world overhearing) that they’re setting him up on his first date.

“Yeah,” Sarah Jessica says. “It’s kind of the whole point of running a matchmaking business?”

“And it’s a really good match,” I add. Ugh, saying these words to him feels like gargling scalding water. I spot Triss walking out of the classroom with Zoelle, and my gut clenches. They smile at me as they pass us, and Triss glances shyly at Liam before looking away, and gahhh. But it’s fine! It’s not like I can date Liam myself, not after the lie that our friendship has been built on.

“Yeah, I’m sure it’s a good match. I just”—Liam gives me an indecipherable look—“I didn’t think it would be this fast. So, like, you two are done putting together my profile?” He glances at me again.

Why is he looking at me like that? He shouldn’t be allowed to look at me like that. It’s too open, too tender, too everything!

I drop my gaze as Eleanor Roosevelt grins and says, “Yep! Your profile is done and it’s awesome, and there are at least two really great matches we’ve lined up for you.”

Liam nods hesitantly. “Cool. And these girls—uh—they know they’re being matched with me? And they’re okay with it?”

Eleanor Roosevelt laughs. “Where’s your confidence? Of course they do! And they’re up for it. So, this Saturday, you’ve got a date with the lovely Trissilla.”

“Oh, okay.”

“Is that a happy ‘oh’ or, like, an ‘oh no’ oh?” Sarah Jessica asks.

I stare at Liam hard enough that I can practically see, through his skull, the thoughts swirling around in his brain. My emotions are a mess. I don’t want Liam to be happy about it, but I also don’t want him to be mean about it if he’s not interested in Triss. Bwaaah! Why must humaning be so hard?

“It’s just a…” Liam chews on his lower lip for a second, increasing my heart rate by about 60 percent. “It’s an—‘oh, cool’ sort of ‘oh.’ ” He pauses, giving me that look that leaps through the windows of my soul (i.e., my eyes) and reads my innermost thoughts. “Are you…cool?”

“Me?” I squeak. Eleanor Roosevelt and Sarah Jessica stare at me, and oh my god, these two kids are legit terrifying. I force a laugh. “Why’re you asking if I’m cool? Of course I am. I couldn’t be cooler about it. I’m, like, subzero. Anyway, any thoughts on where you might take her?”

Liam’s mouth snaps shut. “Cool. Well, we could probably go for a coffee.”

My stomach sinks. I don’t know why it does, because “go for a coffee” sounds pretty generic as far as first dates go, and I should’ve been expecting it, but just hearing the words from his mouth makes this impending date way too real. Somehow, my mouth manages to move and make the word “Cool” plop out like a dead rat. I simply cannot with this moment anymore, so I tell him I have to go.

“What? Go where? I thought we were going to eat together.”

I glance, panic-eyed, at Eleanor Roosevelt, who’s most definitely smirking now. “Yeah, I forgot that I haven’t finished my…calculus homework, and you know how Miss Tian is about it, haha. Okay, see you later!” I hurry away down the hallway, feeling his eyes on my back the entire time.

When I get to the bathroom, it’s blessedly empty. I go to the last cubicle, lock myself inside, and rest my head against the wall. Immediately, the conversation with Liam replays itself in my head. Had he looked secretly glad? No, he just looked shocked. Or maybe slightly disappointed? Ha, I wish. My phone suddenly buzzes. I take it out of my pocket to find a Discord notification. Endorphins bubble through me the way they always do at the familiar sight of the icon, because I know there’s only one person it could be from.

Sourdawg: So I guess I’m about to have my first date

Dudebro10:OooOOooOOooo

I wince. Is that something a teenage boy would say? Or did that just come off really weird and creepy?

Oh hey! Wasn’t expecting a reply. Aren’t you in school?

Oh shit. I stare at the screen for a beat, wondering what to say to him.

Yeah, I am. But it’s recess time right now

Belatedly, I realize this makes Dudebro10 sound like an absolute loser who doesn’t have anyone to sit with during recess and therefore spends the time on his phone. Oh well.

Oh cool, yeah, same here

Dudebro10:So tell me abt the upcoming date! Who’s it with? You excited?

Is that too many questions? Do I sound like a nosy parent?

Haha, IDK if I’m excited. It’s with someone nice, at least

Dudebro10:Niiice

Okay, that definitely sounded creepy.

Sourdawg: I’m actually rly glad to go on a date. Things at home have been pretty bad. My parents’ divorce isn’t so much amicable as it is scorched earth, haha

Dudebro10:Oh shit. I’m so sorry to hear that

I bite down on my lip, hating myself in the moment. Here I am, holding a grudge against my parents just because they made me switch schools, and meanwhile, Liam’s going through something a million times worse. I shouldn’t even be worrying about my stupid crush on him. If I were a true friend, I would want him to have a great time on his date. He deserves that. I release my breath in a defeated whoosh. Well, Triss is awesome, so I have no doubt they’ll have a wonderful time.