21. Kat

21

Dmitri's clammy palm contains my muffled scream of protest. Frantically, I shake my head, desperate to dissuade Nik from this horrible idea. His dark brown eyes glow with warmth and affection as he studies me for one final moment before diverting his attention back to my latest kidnapper.

"Think about it, Dmitri—you have no reason to keep Kat if you have me. I'm a much more valuable hostage to you. You'll still have plenty of leverage over me. Let her go and take me instead. I'll go with you willingly. You can tell Giuseppe to summon the Seven Families to witness me publicly surrender the bratva to him. As long as he agrees to release Kat and her friend from his service, of course. I'll even give him information he can use to fuck with McGuire. Your father will be compelled to release your girlfriend and do what you ask if you hand me to him under these terms."

As hard as I can, I struggle against Dmitri's deathly grasp over me. More than ever, it's vital that I free myself. But he is so strong. Mindlessly, he holds on to me with no issues.

"He will kill you, Nik," Dmitri says. "As soon as you surrender the bratva, he'll execute you."

"I understand."

"You'd have to lose your phone," Dmitri says with a sigh. "And disarm yourself, of course."

Without hesitation, Nik slides his phone and gun in Dmitri's direction.

"Done," the love of my life calmly says.

No longer holding back my tears, I sob against Dmitri's hand. This can't be happening. Whatever hell the stronzo could unleash on me wouldn't compare to what he would do to Nik, his rival, if he got his filthy hands on him.

"I'd like to restrain you, too, Nik."

Nik happily agrees to Dmitri's demand. "Of course. Just give me a moment to say goodbye to Kat first." Dmitri hesitates, and Nik says, "I promise I won't try anything, Dmitri. As long as you let her go, you have my word that I'll go with you willingly."

As it turns out, that's all the assurance Dmitri needs because he releases me without a second thought, pushing me towards Nik. I run into his arms, shaking.

Nik holds me tightly against his chest, leaning down to nuzzle my hair. He is warmth, strength and home. For the first time since storming out of his office, I feel the tension leave my body as if it instinctively knows I'm safe now.

I incoherently sob against the fabric of his shirt. "Nik…" I just got him back. I can't lose him again.

Nik kisses my head before tenderly tilting my head back until I look into his eyes. His gaze glitters with warmth and undisguised affection.

"Kat," he says with a small smile. His strong hands carefully and painlessly snap the plastic ties around my wrists without much effort. "Everything's going to be just fine."

"Liar," I say with an anguished sob, and he has the nerve to chuckle.

After pressing a too-brief kiss against my forehead, he says, "I want you to go out the door and find A.J. She's waiting for you outside. Somehow, I managed to convince her to stay in the car."

I frown. "No way. I'm not leaving here without you."

"Yes, you are. You're going to meet your friend, then you're going to find Vladmir, and you'll let him protect you—at least until Salvatore has a chance to end McGuire. After that, you'll be free, Kat—from all of us."

"I don't want to be free from you." Nik smiles.

"Nik…" Dmitri says with urgency.

While looking at Dmitri over my shoulder, Nik nods once before returning his gaze to my face.

"Now, listen to me, Kat," he says in a no-nonsense tone. "Whatever happens next, I want you to know how sorry I am for all the hurt I've caused you. I don't expect you to forgive me, but for what it's worth, I'd give away every cent I have to my name and every last breath I have left for a chance to try to make it up to you."

"Nik," I cry. "Stop. You can't go with him…"

Eyes ablaze, Nik ignores my protests. "If I don't see you again—if I don't get another chance to earn your forgiveness and your love—I need you to know that from the moment I met you, I was never the same. Meeting you was the greatest thing that's ever happened to me. If everything is to end for me soon, don't feel sorry for me. I got to be with you, and that made my life worthwhile. I don't want you to feel sad for me, milaya. So many people go through their whole lives without feeling how I feel when I'm with you. I'm beyond grateful that I was lucky enough to meet someone who makes me feel like you do. If this is my end, I'll die a happy man as long as I know you will thoroughly enjoy a very long, happy life. Promise me you will."

Uncontrollably sobbing, I somehow manage to say, "I can't lose you. There has to be a way?—"

Nik's eyes don't leave mine—not even for a split second. "This is the way, Kat. If my life is the price for yours, I will gladly pay it any day or night. Now, promise me you will take care of yourself."

"Nik, I can't?—"

"Kat." He gently shakes my shoulders once. "Promise me."

Nik's dark brown eyes mesmerize me, even as my heart shatters into a million pieces. Unable to deny him anything at this moment, I nod. "I promise."

With a small smile, Nik kisses my forehead. "Good girl," he says against my skin—one last time.

My voice wavers as I grab fistfuls of his shirt, unwilling to let him drift even an inch away from me. "Tell me this isn't goodbye, Nik. Tell me I'll see you again."

Nik's eyes crinkle as he smiles and studies my face, as if trying to commit it to memory. He tenderly caresses my cheek with his left hand, so gentle that I barely feel his touch. "Of course," he says under his breath. "I told you, remember? Wild horses couldn't keep me away."

The reminder of his passionate promise from not so long ago almost breaks me in half. Because this time, he doesn't mean it. He can't mean it. How could he? This is goodbye.

My expression must give my anguish away because Nik's eyes soften as he comforts me, pulling me back into his arms. "Shh. Don't cry, milaya. I can't bear it when you cry. You're going to unman me."

"And I can't bear to lose you."

"You won't," he says, kissing me. "Not now. Not ever. I'm yours until the end of time, Kat."

I sob against his chest with renewed fervor. "Nik?—"

He cuts me off. "It's time for you to go, Kat. Go find A.J., and don't look back, okay? Now come here and give me a kiss."

Tears stream down my face, and I rise on my toes, touching my lips against Nik's as I wrap my arms around his neck. I kiss him with the strength of the agony inside me, with the force of all the words that will remain unsaid between us, and with the power of everything I feel for him—all the emotions he has evoked in me from the moment we met, all the yearning and devotion that will plague me until the end of my days.

As our lips meet with urgency, I breathe him in, willing myself to memorize every precious sensation—from the sound of his shaky gasp when our lips touch to the mouthwatering scent of his skin. I don't ever want to forget the feel of his body against mine and the warmth of his skin under my hands, or the feel of his hair against my fingertips—so different from the roughness of his scruff…

It's over too soon.

Too soon, Nik pulls away from me, breaking our embrace and untangling our limbs.

Forever wouldn't have been enough.

Nik's gaze meets mine one last time. "It's time, Kat. Go now." After one last look, he turns away from me to face Dmitri.

Unable to withstand the sight of what is about to unfold, I turn my back to them. The sight of Dmitri restraining Nik is more than I can take without breaking right now. I run outside instead, just like Nik wanted me to do. Before long, I locate his car, with A.J. sitting inside. Not long after that, in a haze, I find myself behind the wheel next to her.

My friend bombards me with a million questions about what happened inside the warehouse, and somehow, I manage to fill her in on the awful turn of events that I witnessed.

"Well," A.J. says once I'm finished with my story. Minutes or hours might have passed since I escaped the warehouse—I wouldn't know either way. Time seems impossibly trivial and surreal now that Nik is gone from my life. "Let's call this Vladmir guy, then. Do you have his number? No? Well, that's fine. It doesn't matter. I'm sure I can find it easily enough. Can you hand me my laptop? It's in the bag I tossed in the backseat."

Shaking my head, I turn to face her, making my decision. "No," I say under my breath.

"No?" she asks me with a frown.

"No," I say with more certainty, handing her the computer as my resolve solidifies. "We are not calling Vladmir. At least not just yet. I need you to do something for me first. Do you think you can track Nik's phone?"

A.J. gives me a disbelieving look. "Track his phone?"

I nod, waiting for her to grab the laptop from my outstretched hand, but she just glares at me as if I have lost my mind. I can't blame her. I very well may have. I'd be lying if I said I feel completely sane right now.

"Now, why would you want me to do that, Kat? Not because you mean to go after him, I hope."

"A.J.—" I say with a sigh.

"Because that would be suicide. And you're way too smart to go on some crazy kamikaze mission for a guy. Right? Tell me you're too smart to be this dumb. I'm begging you."

"I have to save him."

A.J. sighs. "So, let me make sure I'm getting this right. You and I just got everything we've been working towards for the last year. We are finally free of the stronzo and all the other mafia misfortune we've encountered along the way. And you want to throw all of that away and get yourself into an even more dangerous situation with even more mafia families to save the bratva's pakhan? Did I get it right?"

I shrug. "Yeah. I'd say that about sums it up."

"Are you out of your fucking mind?" A.J. asks, yelling at the top of her lungs, and I wince. The sound is particularly startling in Nik's locked up car.

I sigh wearily. "I won't lie to you. I might be. But it doesn't matter. I have to save him, A.J. I understand the odds are I will fail, but it doesn't matter. I have to try."

If I fail, Nik dies. So if I die, I die. A life without him hardly seems worth living, anyway.

A.J. gasps. "Who the hell are you, and what have you done to my best friend? You're just going to storm into a meeting of the Seven Families and save your boyfriend, who is now a hostage of the boss of the Italian family, with barely an hour's notice? Just like that? No planning, no scouting, no contingency plans, no nothing? You're just going to wing it. You'd have no control over anything. Every single detail would just be left to chance."

I nod. "Yep. Now, can you please track Nik's phone?"

Eyes wide, A.J. shakes her head. "You'd be putting yourself and your life at unbelievable risk—more than ever. Stealing the Flame of Mir from The Metropolitan Museum is nothing compared to this. And for what? Even if you succeed, you'll still lose everything you ever wanted and have been fighting for these past months. Scratch that—everything you've been fighting for your whole life! Even if you miraculously manage to save Nik and not kill yourself in the process, you'll never be fully in charge of your life again. You'll never be completely independent. I've met him, Kat. That man is too bossy, too possessive, too protective… He's too much of a control freak to allow you to feel independent or exclusively in control again. And this time, if he gets his hands on you, he's never letting you go. Of that, I have no doubts. You can bet on that."

I sigh again. "God, I hope so. I'm counting on it. Now, can you please track him for me? I can't afford to waste any more time."

"Kat…" she says with a horrified groan.

Impatiently, I cut her off, raising my voice. "A.J.! If the choice is between my fear of losing control and my fear of losing him, please understand: it's no choice at all. I can't lose him. Nik is everything to me now. I love him. And if something happens to him, if he's taken from me forever… I don't know what I'd do. I don't think—no, I know I will never be happy again. Now, please, scold me all you want, but do it while you find him for me."

A.J. stares at me in shock for a second longer, and then, wordlessly, she reaches for her laptop. Blissfully silent, she powers it on and types away, shooting me sideways glances every thirty seconds.

I exhale in relief when she turns the laptop in my direction so I can view the screen.

"This is where he is," she says with a sigh. "Or at least where his phone is."

I stare at the blinking green dot on the map with a frown. It's not stationary, seeming to be moving further and further away from the city. There isn't much around where it is headed, so my guess is that Dmitri's probably taking Nik to the old financial district, which sends a chill down my spine. That can't be good, considering it's mostly deserted and abandoned nowadays.

After turning the car on, I take a deep breath, steeling myself.

"Thank you, A.J. I'll go get him now. If you don't want to come with me, I won't blame you. No hard feelings. I mean it."

A.J. scoffs. "Bitch, you have really lost your mind if you think you're doing this without me. Now, please tell me you have a plan. Or at least something that resembles it in the slightest."

My heart warms. I don't deserve her.

I smile at her with sympathy. "You're not going to like it."

A.J. sighs and closes her eyes before leaning her blonde head against her seat's headrest. "Fuck my life," she says through gritted teeth. After opening her eyes, she squares her shoulders.

With a final shake of her head, she turns to face me. "Just drive."