38. Rin

38

Rin

I hate small spaces.

They pull me right back to being a little kid, with only fragments of the memory left in my mind. But I still remember the fear in my māmān's eyes as she pushed me inside our two-foot pantry, where my bābā locked us in to keep us safe.

There were always threats of violence, but we lived in a relatively safe area. So we had gotten complacent, and the crisis took us by surprise.

As I finally pull a breath in, and cough it back out, I'm hearing māmān's whispered prayers and the sounds of violence. I can't move into a fetal position and cry right now like I did then.

A honking laugh in close proximity to where I am brings my mind snapping back to the situation. A genali is leering down at me, and my arm is raising the gun without any thought.

A moment later, there's a hole under his left eye and he's falling. I roll to the side, eyes screwing shut as I wait for him to fall on me.

I hear a wet thud and open them again.

A few inches from me lies a genali corpse—a gray and pink, mushy mess that turns my stomach. Seeing this, brings my deep-seated rage bubbling from within, and I spit at the corpse in defiance.

I retch and look away. Should I try to climb back out, or go down the underground passage to get to the woman? I can't decide. My mind goes to Kuret and I wonder how he is doing or whether he needs any help. But the emerald color of the woman's hair reminds me of Tehlmar's limp head in Kuret's hand and I realize that I am worrying in vain.

He can take care of himself, especially if he has a gun now.

Kuret can handle the haroomzade while I do my best to save this woman. The cracks in the rocks are tearing away at me and I hold in a curse when one sharp piece of shale slices at my face. It is a kind treatment in comparison to what the rest of my body is going through.

There is enough space between the opening of the crack and me, but just when I start to think that I am safe, black, beady eyes peer through the crack and meet mine.

Immediately, I grab my gun and fire a shot to its face, watching life leave its eyes before it can make any sounds.

My hands tremble. I just took multiple lives. I know it was in self-defense, but the more I do it, the less I'm able to keep ignoring my actions.

The sight of it makes me nauseous, but I swallow it down. While I continue to move myself down the shale that is lining the bottom of the passage, and thankful that the suit is made of a material that can withstand this.

How has this not already caved in? The thought makes me hurry, heedless of the cuts added as images of both of us being buried alive spur me on.

I lose sight of the chamber as I slide, clutching to the gun in a way that gains me more injuries. Soon after, I'm next to it, but she isn't in it.

I panic, then see a blood trail leading up out of the hole and scramble out to warn her of the fight.

My eyes ache from the sudden light, but it doesn't take long for them to adjust. When they do, my heart skip a beat at the sight of multiple genali racing toward us.

Reaching the green-haired woman, I see blood streaming down the side of her face. Her half-lidded eyes looking around, probably wondering where she is.

The woman is staring, seeming confused. "Get down!" I yell out at her.

She is still frozen when I grab her and yank her away.

I'm terrified, but I can't let them hurt her. "Stay behind me," I yell out, then start shooting.

Half of my shots miss, but some of them fall. I'm convinced we are about to die when I hear the woman finally speak. "Cover me."

I glance over and see that, somehow, she has somehow found a rifle. Without hesitation, she turns back to shoot, not caring about killing them or trying to kill the thrilling sensation I feel of blood splattering everywhere.

Soon after, she's yelling at me that we need to leave, and she's right. We need to get away from this. Fast.

We keep firing, ducking down now since they are firing back, screeching out as we each take wounds.

There are too many of them and I look around wildly for somewhere to hide. Then I see a cave opening at the bottom of the slope and to our right. I yell for the woman to follow me, as I scramble forward, my body screaming out at me in protest.

Bullets hit the shale around us that feel like shards digging into my sides. So, we pick up speed, the honking, wet sounds behind us spurring us on.

When I get close, I realize it's just an outcrop, not a cave, but it's the best protection we have.

There are only a few of them left now, but I doubt there are many bullets left in our weapons.

"What now?" the green-haired woman asks, panic clear in her voice.

I can still hear shots in the distance, so Kuret must still be alive. I want to run toward him, but I can't lead the woman back into more danger.

"It's time to run," I tell her.

"Oh, you think?" she says, her voice incredulous.

I don't know how we manage it, but we evade them, running into a valley until my throat feels like it's on fire from the heavy breaths. We finally duck into a thicket to catch our breath.

I ask her if she's alright. The English comes out of my mouth in an odd manner. Annoyed, I grumble in Farsi, even though I should be completely used to all of this by now.

We bicker back and forth about it for a moment, and then I'm complaining in another language altogether. One I don't recognize. Finally, I force myself to stop.

I let out a huff. No, it was the right thing to do, and finding out more about her is easy enough. "What's your name?"

"Olivia," she groans out, poking at where a bullet grazed her.

From a quick look, I can tell she was luckier than I was, though her head wound looks nasty.

I'm trying not to think about burning pain above my hip and the damage I must've done by running with a bullet wound there. Pressing my hand to it, perhaps to trigger my mysterious healing power to stop the bleeding, I cannot do much right now.

We're huddled together, I don't even have to look at her to know she has too many questions, most of which I cannot answer.

"What's going on?"

I let out a sigh I didn't realize I was holding when she asks me that, relieved she didn't start with questions about why she was in that chamber or why her hair is green.

Things I don't know.

I answer her question a little too gladly. "Those khar want to take us hostage again."

She shoots me a look that lets me know that says she isn't fully satisfied with my answer, so I wait for follow-up questions but get none.

"What language was that, the one you cursed in?"

"Farsi."

For a second, I want to launch into a mini-lecture on who I am and what language I speak, random thoughts charging through my panicked mind, but I stop myself just in time.

She hugs her body closer to herself, shivering slightly even though the sun is blazing down on us. "I understood it. I understood that you called them donkeys."

There is an excitement in her voice that I cannot place. It confuses me because when I was rescued, the only thing that went through my mind was utter panic.

If I could, I would have screamed for hours on end, but she is excited that she can understand my language. As if she has gone through far worse than this and just wants to focus on something innocent. I immediately feel more protective, while my respect grows for this new woman.

But also a bit of wariness over how… odd she seems.

"I am Nasrin." I introduce myself with a forced smile and she shoots me one back.

Her smile is wide and genuine. I feel a bit guilty for my caution toward the woman, but I push it off and try to focus on the conversation I'm supposed to be part of.

"Nasrin is such a pretty name," she says, pushing her gem-colored hair behind her ears.

Her hair is long and shiny, not at all reflecting what she has been through.

"You can call me Liv, if you would prefer that."

Her smile is so infectious that I can't help warming up to her, even as I wonder how unhinged she must be to look so unaffected by our frantic escape.

I grin. "If we are also giving nicknames, then you can call me Rin."

Her eyes light up and she opens her mouth to say something, but the ground starts to quake below us.

I get on my knees to crawl forward, and she follows me. But then I hear two more loud screams of death echoing through the valley. None of them sounds like Kuret, so I relax a bit. I sit back down and she follows, wincing as she does the same.

To avoid disclosing more of our location, I tap her hand and point to the sleeve of my jumpsuit, then point to the thin black band around her waist. I mouth imagine to her, watching as her face shifts from confusion to understanding.

Olivia shuts her eyes tightly and her face scrunches up as she replicates my jumpsuit, down to the high neck and foot coverings.

While she does, I thank Allah for the opportunity to be with another human. Being around Kuret and the argila has made me feel good, but still a little alone and alien, which is what I am to them as well even if there is a silent kinship between us, one that I appreciate.

Once she's clothed, I get back on my knees and crawl toward a ledge in front of me, a little farther from the commotion. If we get on it, we can wait until the fight is over before figuring out how we'll get back up. And we can figure out how to reach out to Kuret, once he's done dealing with all the threats.

I climb onto it and stretch my hand down to pull her up.

"This makes me think of Titanic and how Jack could have just freaking gotten on the door with Rose," she says and I look at her in confusion. "You haven't seen Titanic ? Oh my God, have you been living under a rock?"

Her ease with laughter makes me start to chuckle as I realize that she uses humor to cope. It must be much better than overanalyzing everything like I do. "I have not seen it but once I can, I will," I assure her and she nods her head. I feel the continual growth of our silent kinship. I hope the feeling is mutual.

We sit there in silence, the noise from above sending fear deeper into my heart, and I am torn—part of me wants to stay here with Olivia, but the other part is screaming to rush back and help Kuret.

Olivia picks up a dark gray rock and starts to fiddle with it, her face an impenetrable mask with only a small smile attached.

A part of me wants to ask her to talk to me and tell me how she's feeling about waking up on a new planet, but I decide against it.

This is not the time or place for something like that. Anything could happen, and either of us could be dead in minutes. I wouldn't want her fear or sadness to be the last thing she speaks of, or the last thing I hear. Besides, we will have all the time to properly get to know each other once we have gotten to safety. If we don't, then the time spent together will be enough.

I don't realize that I am staring at her until I hear her softly call my name and place a hand on my knee. "Sorry, I got lost in my thoughts," I say.

She smiles stiffly and goes back to fiddling with her rock. "I understand. I don't mean to pull you from it."

I shake my head. "No, don't be sorry. I finally have an actual human being to talk to and I should take advantage of that."

Her face morphs into one of concern. "Am I the first human you have come across?" I nod my head and she lets out a short sound. "So you haven't seen Ree?"

The name strikes a chord in my brain as I recall all the times Kuret has mentioned her. It must be the same person that we are supposed to go to. My eyes widen as I realize that this must not be Olivia's first time out of the chamber. Probably she has information that can help us get to Ree faster.

I open my mouth to ask all the questions in my head, but I hear a concerning crack from underneath us. We scramble to move, but it's too late. The ground splits opens like a gaping maw.

My hands reach out to grab both of hers as a human-sized sinkhole opens beneath us. The only thing keeping her with me is my desperate, slipping grip.

"Rin!" she yells, her eyes wide with fear.

I push myself back against a bush and pull against her. "Can you get your feet on anything?" I ask her as I struggle to support her weight, still not sure how I can even manage it.

I've never been strong, and there is a searing pain in my side yelling at me to let go, but I just tighten my grip.

She looks down and then back up at me. "I can't see anything. It's all dark."

I attempt to adjust myself, but I start sliding down with Liv as more of the bushes give way, as if they have been cut from underneath. Our hands are forced apart and I swallow down the scream as I search for something to hold on to.

A sharp squeal comes from underneath me, followed by a thud. I look into the dark cavern that has formed in the ground and see some rapid movement, surprised I can even make anything out. But whatever is there disappears before I can catch a glimpse.

I take a deep breath to motivate myself to jump into the hole, but the ground shifts and it starts to fill it, soon far too small for me to fit into. Before the big pieces completely fall in, I see a hint of green and other glowing colors. It's moving and I can see the outline of something large.

"Hey, you there! I know you can hear me. Help her up!" I scream at whatever it is that is down there with her but I don't get a response.

Ya Allah , what if it is a predator that thinks it has found its next meal? I can't let her die.

"Olivia! Olivia, are you there? Please say something!" I yell into the darkness, my heart somewhere between my toes and directly pounding over my brain.

A muffled cough comes from the hole and I reach forward to start digging but soon realize it is futile. I try to call for her again. "Olivia, if you're there, please let me know."

Another cough follows. "Nasrin, I'm okay. There's someone else here," she informs me and relief pours over me like cold water.

I adjust myself so that my eye and mouth are directly above the hole. "Please give my friend back. Please," I beg.

A gruff voice starts speaking, and it takes my brain a second to realize that it is not English. "This one… belongs to you?"

I'm not sure if I should say yes, hoping it'll give her back, but I don't get a chance to decide.

"Zha is part of my hoard now. Go away."

Zha? What?

Vitriol fills my mouth but before I can speak, Liv does. "Fuck no, I'm no one's but my own," she spits at the creature.

I'm proud of her, but still terrified. The hissing sound of its voice gets too low for me to understand, but I know it's saying things to her

"Rin, I'll be okay," she shouts out to me and it sounds too much like a goodbye.

"Olivia! Where are you? I'll get to you," I say as a fresh energy overtakes me.

My fingers dig hopelessly at the dirt and roots, my fingers bleeding soon after.

When she speaks again, her voice sounds much farther. "I'll be okay, I promise. I'll find you once I can."

I shake my head as my eyes burn with the familiar sting of loss. "No, no, Olivia, please. I'll dig my way down to get you out. I'll find a way. Just hold on."

"Get to safety," she tells me, her voice barely audible. "I'll…" I can't make anything else out after that.

My heart's in my throat as I keep digging, grabbing a broken off branch to do it, then another when that one breaks.

Tears run down my face when I concede.

I know that I am speaking into a void, but I continue to call out to her, hoping that, by some miracle, she will reach out her hand and try to grab onto mine.

"Olivia, please. Please bring her back, please."

Another gunshot reminds me that I'm in as much danger as she is and so I stop talking. I'm about to move away when the ground I was digging so rigorously at and getting nowhere suddenly gives way.