37. Rin

37

Rin

When I wake up, it's still dark. The light from Kuret's chest is comforting, as is the warmth of his body, but the back part of my body is cold.

I turn my head away from him, waiting for my eyes to adjust to the darkness so I can see the sky clearly, but a faint glow lingers.

I blink, trying to clear my vision. His markings have never been bright enough to affect my sight—at least, not until now. Especially since my night vision has improved so much since my eyes turned fully black. When I move my hands up to rub my eyes, I notice the same green glow I get when I am near Kuret.

A surge of awareness goes through me. I've changed again.

With a poke to Kuret's rippled side I finish waking him. He grunts, stirring to life faster. "What is it?" he grouses at me.

"What's on my face, Kuret?"

His eyes fly open, his upper body partly rising before he freezes. Then one of his deadly looking smiles spread across his face. "Nasrin, my Nasrin. They look beautiful."

"So I really do have your marks?"

He nods as he wipes a hand across the top of his other one. "On your cheeks, yes, though the color is not quite the same. It's fascinating."

"How do you ignore the light from them so you can see?"

His grin drops a bit. "They have been on me since birth, Nasrin. I don't know."

I sigh, letting it out in one big breath, dropping the topic. There are worse changes in my body. This one might prove useful. Maybe?

We get up, making our way back to the argila, who are still peacefully laying in the same spot. We're still tired enough to quickly fall asleep again, wrapped up in each other's arms.

The sun is just starting to rise. When I open my eyes once more and I feel more rested than I have in a long time, definitely since I've come to this alien planet. I sit up and look around me.

Has it been hazy before this and I just hadn't noticed?

The sky is green and purple with a blazing sun, but it doesn't feel hot against my skin. In a different place, and in a different mood, I might have called it beautiful. Now, it's just blinding.

Oh, right. I remember now. I got new eyes, which see better in the dark, more colors during the day, but are light sensitive. More pain is the last thing I need. This place has too many discomforts as it is.

The events from last night play in my head, making me suck in a gasp and turn around. " Alhamdulillah , you're still here," I whisper in relief to the other female when I glance at her green hair and quiet sleeping form.

It wouldn't be surprising if someone managed to take her while we were asleep after our little trip to the stream last night.

Especially given how we have lain more in the open than we usually dare to up until now, we have set up camp not too far from where we found the other woman, with a large rock being pretty much our only protection from the elements and any potential predators but I know Kuret was watching and that let me sleep soundly.

I continue to stare at her still body, jealousy and pity mixing together in the pit of my stomach to make an annoying new feeling. I don't know whether to be happy for her that she has not yet started to experience the insanity that is this place or to be sad about the confusion that will overtake her every single waking hour, so I settle on looking away.

I can only do my best to ease her into the whole situation and make sure no one takes advantage of her the way Tehlmar tried to take advantage of me.

We owe her that, at the very least.

I stretch my hands over my head and let out a long yawn, then walk toward the cart. As I get closer to the cart, I spot the rest of my crew—and finally, Kuret.

He is shirtless and looking down at his stomach, arm and shoulder muscles rippling in a way that makes my heart leap. I'm aroused, but it occurs to me that it isn't the overwhelming arousal that I had before.

I see him much differently now and I don't know how I feel about it, especially since almost no time has passed since I was convinced he was a psychopath. Is that what happens when you have sex with someone before you are really sure of them? You get all mixed up inside? I hate it.

He has shown he can change, and I cannot deny my attraction. Like an aching that only he can soothe.

Is it real, though?

They did something to me, and I'm not sure that my body can tell the difference between somebody I like and somebody I'm stuck with.

For now, I push the thought aside. I'd rather continue to bask in my ignorance than start digging into what should not be. For now, I'll just wait and see if this longing fades.

Turning away and on to different things, I clear my throat to get his attention and I hear Roshan and Darya racing toward me, their collective low braying tickling my ears. I laugh as they jostle me and I try not to fall over from the sheer size of both of them, my hands going to scratch at their fur.

I try to look past them and see what Kuret is doing, but they keep blocking my view. So I continue to pet them until they calm down. Spending time with these two is something extremely therapeutic; they help me let go.

Time to stop overthinking things with Kuret. My body can keep saying all it likes, it's my mind that chooses, and I just need to get to know him better, that's all.

"You look brighter," a voice calls from behind me and I jump then relax on seeing my tall, glow-in-the-dark companion behind me. "I take it you slept well."

There is a marked lightness to his tone. I can tell he is still proud of himself for having found the other woman yesterday. And that he should be.

I smile at him. "I feel much better, yes."

I don't realize that he is moving the chamber until he drops it in the cart.

I glance over to see the argila nibbling on him and it helps loosen some of the fear and pity. I can't do anything about it, so I let it go.

He's looking at me with a softness in his features, his mouth opening and closing like he's searching for the right words.

He finally settles on something. "I'm sorry, Nasrin. I wish I knew how to stop these changes; I can't imagine how terrible it must feel to not know what might come next."

I swallow hard. "Thank you, Kuret."

Oddly enough, his simple statement makes me feel a lot better. Then it hits me why. Ever since I was forced to live with my brother's family, all I've heard is that I should just accept everything. What happened was my own fault.

No sympathy.

I hadn't realized just how starved I was for it, and it's strange getting it from someone I thought, at first, had room only for violence. I've been hasty in my own judgments, and I should know better. It makes that aching longing to trust him rise up again, right along with the anxiety, but this time I don't stamp it back down right away.

He is a completely different species. We aren't even on Earth. Maybe it's time to let go of all those things I learned in the past to keep me safe. They might not work here, for one thing.

See, it's logical. I snort out a breath. There's no sense in lying to myself. I will be seeking the same sense of security I felt as a child with my parents for those few short years before I knew what violence was for the rest of my life. I will never stop longing for it.

Maybe it's time to stop pushing everyone away and find out if he is worthy of my trust. I gulp, my heart pounding in fear, but also in anticipation. In hope. I open my mouth to tell him about it, but then close it with a sharp crack.

That's one step too far right now, and that's alright. I'll just have to work on opening my heart up, even if it is just a tiny crack for now, and either build that confidence… or he'll destroy me. Either way, at least I won't be giving in to fear. I've done enough of that for a lifetime.

I feel lighter when I move toward him. As I walk, I realize that my ankle pain has disappeared completely, as well as the pain in the other parts of my body.

He also seems to be moving well. "Is your leg feeling a lot better? My injuries are healed."

His lips lift at the edges. "Yes. It is mostly healed, which should have taken many weeks. It wasn't just our imagination."

I start being thankful to the genali, a habit ingrained since childhood. My hand goes up to push my hair behind my ear and I remember that it is stark white.

All the appreciation goes out of me; I doubt giving us this ability was a kindness.

"Your pain is gone?" he asks. "You look less rigid and I am glad."

I smile up at Kuret. "Yes, it is."

He starts to smile back but stops himself, probably remembering my reaction the last time he did. Guilt surges. I haven't been fair to him.

"I like your smile, Kuret," I assure him.

When it blooms, his sharp teeth showing in a wide grin, far wider than a human could ever produce, my heart confirms my words. It no longer looks scary and I love the way it shifts the patterns on his cheeks and how they surge with his joy.

"I am glad. We should get going now. I scouted the area earlier and I think I found a way to get to Ree."

He seems excited about his discovery, and it makes me feel even more enthusiastic about the day. Maybe things won't be so bad. It makes me cautiously optimistic, like things are finally starting to go our way.

Meeting up with the woman named Ree has been Kuret's plan all along, and the fact that we are moving forward makes me feel a spark of purpose.

Even if I don't feel like I've contributed much so far. I need to change that. My mind carefully ignores stabbing into that green hunter. It isn't a contribution as much as a crime. Maybe? I don't know. This place is confusing my sense of morality.

I glance at the gun I left in the cart instead of keeping with me last night. The urge to fight my discomfort about it and the memories it stirs up from another life, became dominant and that was stupid. Sure, I slept with the knife nearby, but realistically, I won't be able to use it much.

Not unless Kuret holds everything still while I stab it, and that doesn't seem practical.

Today I attach the cart to Darya, hoping to give Roshan a rest. He doesn't want to follow behind and positions himself in front of her.

I climb into the cart and make sure the gun is in easy reach, ignoring the pounding of my heart at the thought of touching it, even though I held it in my hands yesterday. The mind is so fickle.

Before we set out, Kuret hands me some remains of some creature he roasted. "How long have you been awake?"

"I woke up when the sun came up as well, not all that long before you."

If he did all that, then he's just trying to make me feel better.

The sudden thought that he might have seen me sleeping in an embarrassing position sends a blush creeping up my face, but I wrestle it away quietly.

I'm still trying to figure out a topic of conversation that won't make my cheeks flame when the path gets more rutted.

Soon after, we get to a ridgeline that is almost too slim for an argila to walk along. I use one hand to hold on to the edge of the cart for safety, and another to hold the chamber. But Kuret suggests that it might be better to put it between us. "Our bodies will act as a shield so it does not fall out."

I agree but the path is still too uneven to make any changes without falling off.

Kuret tries to make sure that Roshan and Darya go through smoothly all the while holding onto the chamber, until a sinkhole suddenly forms behind us.

I hear Kuret mutter something under his breath as the chamber starts to slide down the back of the weathered wooden cart. I reach both of my hands out to grab at it and catch it just before it falls off the back.

"Nasrin, are you alright?" he asks me, and I grunt out an answer.

The strain is hell on my back. My arms burn as I struggle to keep the chamber in some semblance of stability and somehow I succeed.

With a low bellow, Darya pulls us up and I get the chamber moved back into place.

A moment later, it occurs to me that I shouldn't have been strong enough, but I don't have time to figure out the reason.

Poor Darya is struggling to pull the cart through the rapidly crumbling ridgeline, and it's clear she's not having an easy time. I want to reach forward and tell her it will be okay, but I am still trying to get both me and the chamber steady.

This delicate balancing act is taking far more energy than I would have thought, but somehow I continue to manage it.

"Pull yourself up. Take my hand," Kuret calls down, his voice a bit louder than the argila's braying but still strong enough to reach me. He stretches out a three-fingered hand and I grab onto it, letting him pull me up.

At the same time, Darya pulls hard, with Roshan urging her on, manages to get the cart out of the rut it was stuck in.

I am still pulling the chamber forward when the back of the cart falls into another hole that wasn't there before, and the chamber slips out of my grasp. "No!" I exclaim, clawing at the empty air in a desperate attempt to catch it.

I watch as the chamber falls into the sinkhole like a heavy stone in a stream. The cart follows close behind, getting caught on a jagged outcropping along the inside wall.

Kuret leans down, trying to grab it and find enough leverage to lift it out, but it's no use. Without hesitation, he decides to climb in himself to retrieve it. I express my objections, but he waves away my concerns and lowers himself down into it.

After our impossible attempts at getting the cart unstuck, we both freeze when we hear a wet, honking sound.

Jumping to my feet, my eyes meet Kuret's and he has the same panic in his eyes.

He looks ahead as he hops off the cart, his body going tense, and eyes wide with realization. "They are close. I will go and try to hold them off."

He doesn't let me speak before screaming a battle cry and running ahead with one hand on the hilt of his blade and a large stick that I hadn't seen him pick up in the other.

"Never again!" he bellows out as he charges.

And with that, he's gone.

All the commotion is too much for the argila, who start bleating and trying to move away from the rut where Darya's stuck. Roshan bites desperately at the straps holding Darya.

I hop on the back of the cart and climb forward until I reach the point where the harness is, then try to undo the knots, but my hands are shaking too badly.

I hear the honking getting closer, and I look up furtively.

Kuret's hair is a swinging blur in the distance, and I watch him punch an arm right through one of the genali.

I wonder where the rest of them are, but then a bullet hits far too close to us, clearing my mind of any questions. I give up on the knots, grabbing my knife and slashing at the straps connecting Darya.

"Run! Go protect Darya!"

The argila race off before I am even done with my sentence. Understanding my message, Roshan heads straight for the female, while another projectile whistles close by and buries itself in the ground by my foot.

I let out a yelp and scurry away.

He brays and pushes his nose against the female argila to get her to move faster before running off behind her.

I exhale, grab the gun, and jump down from the cart, crawling forward on my stomach in hopes to stay hidden. I'm beside the cart and in the path of the crack in the ridgeline. And I look inside it, gasping in relief when I see the green-haired woman's chamber not too far from me.

Then I watch in horror as the shale shifts again, nothing about it looking natural. With nothing to hold her chamber from falling down the ridgeline, the chamber tips, crashing against rocks and flipping before disappearing from view.

I crawl forward on my forearms and try to take a better look, my heart sinking when I see part of her body hanging out of the container.

It means that it is broken, and she's officially in enough danger I can't just leave her there while we fight.

My mind starts to race at all the complications of her being out of the chamber, but a bullet buzzes past my head, and brings me back to the fact that a battle is happening around me. I hear Kuret cry out, but it's not one of pain, so I focus my energies on the green-haired woman.

Another bullet buzzes past and nearly hits me, but I roll out of the way and get on my feet. I try to find a tree to hide behind, but all of them are too far away. So I grip the braceaaer's weapon and hold it out in front of me. Fear fills my heart as I hold it up and shoot into the void. Hopefully, I don't mistakenly hit Kuret.

A honking laugh and another shot follow, but thankfully I am able to hear the direction it is coming from and start moving. I'm not fast enough as a searing pain shoots up my side while I roll away and my back hits against the side of the cart.

The wind is knocked out of me, but I hold in the cough that threatens to come out and lay still. The pain is extreme, and I hear a wheeze escape my lips. I hope nothing is too severely damaged; the pain is nearly blinding. From the corner of my eye, I can see a genali hunter starting to make his way toward the crack in the ridge, so I push myself onto my stomach and start dragging myself toward the green-haired woman.

There is a shot and two wet screeches followed by a familiar grunting and the genali moves to a different location. Kuret must have taken one of their guns and figured out how to use it.

While the genali are distracted, I shift quietly, biting my bottom lip to suppress the pain, trying to get my body into the trench that the shale made as it slid down. I hope to use it as cover as I make my way down to the broken chamber.

There are more screams and the genali runs to hide beside the cart and I push myself deeper inside the trench.

My hands shake as I raise the gun, everything in me screaming that what I'm about to do is wrong, but I ignore it. The slime raises its own gun, probably in Kuret's direction, and I stop thinking about it and pull the trigger three times.

Two of them hit, and the genali lets out a scream that pierces right down to my soul before sinking down into a puddle.

Tears blur my eyes, but I hiss at myself. "Stop it."

My need to protect the woman far outweighs questions of morality. Kuret is doing what he can, but it's up to me to save her.

I'm pushing myself up to look for other targets when the ground suddenly gives way beneath me. A scream escapes as I fall, the breath knocked out of me when I hit the hard ground. Shale tumbles down, covering me for a moment before I roll away from it.

I keep rolling until rocks start hitting me, then force my eyes open, choking on dust as I try to clear my lungs. When the air clears, I can see that I am in a long passage. From the tug of gravity, I can tell it descends. The walls of the tunnel have odd striations, like the stone has been cut with something. I must have fallen deep enough into it that it's solid instead of shifting shale.

My throat starts to tighten from the small space, but I force myself to stay calm—this isn't the time to panic.

Then I notice a light down the long tunnel and catch a glimpse of green hair. I don't know how, but she's down here with me. I hear a few screams coming from behind me and work to get breath back in my lungs so I can get to the trapped woman.