35. Kuret

35

Kuret

Nasrin is lost in her thoughts, but her face doesn't look as upset as she did when I pointed out the silver patterns on her lovely skin.

I take it as a good sign she doesn't seem to hate these new traits, especially since they are from me. Still, she isn't pleased, either. As much as I want to tell her how much I loved touching her, there is a space between us now and I don't know how to close it.

Instead, I focus back on her ears.

Every inch of hers is asking for piercings; I wonder how much smaller each design would need to be for her dainty ears.

While she always looked beautiful to me before, now I find her stunning beyond all measure. I'm careful not to say too much so she doesn't become self-conscious and begin to cover up again.

Instead, I pick a neutral topic. "Does your species not have jewelry?"

She glances up at me, then to my ornaments. "We do, yes. I just never pierced mine. And I'm not used to seeing piercings on males, since it isn't allowed."

I touch one before I can stop myself. Does that mean she doesn't like them? It's hard to imagine something so important being forbidden.

Is any topic with her truly neutral? I grip the reins tighter, annoyed with myself.

"That sounded violent," she adds, noticing my expression. "I'm sorry. Wait. Violent? I'm trying to say something else, and it won't translate. What I mean is, I think your jewelry is really interesting, I'm just not used to seeing it. There's so many, all with different designs. Do they have a special meaning?"

My hands loosen on the reins. It's hard to stay upset when she doesn't even know what they represent. Odd, but understandable.

"They do." I turn my head and touch the rolled pattern near the top of my ear. "This one shows I am a cloister guardian. This is from my first kill. That one is the mark of my bond brother, Samke. That—"

She interrupts me. "Bond brother?"

"Our chosen brother."

She lets out a mysterious noise. "That must be nice. Getting to choose."

Before I can respond, her small finger lightly touches my ear, and everything narrows to that one sensation.

"What about this one? It's beautiful. I've never seen metal like that."

It takes me a moment to remember; the shiver makes its way down my body. And I have to clear my throat before speaking.

"That's for surviving my testing to be an adult."

"Surviving?" she says, her voice rough. I glance over and notice that the skin on her cheeks is darker than usual. "I just reached a certain age to gain adulthood."

"No test of strength? No time spent in the desert?"

"No, definitely none of that. Though, I suppose being called an adult didn't make me in more control of my life. So maybe it didn't mean all that much."

"Well, if you weren't tested then—"

She's back to touching my ear and I don't remember what I was about to say anymore. Her finger trails from the bottom tip up to the middle one, then up to the top.

"Why aren't these pierced?"

"I haven't earned them."

I open my mouth to tell her about the donor hoop and mentor cuff, but realize there is no one to grant them to me here. Or even make them. I suppose I just… earned one?

No, that doesn't seem right, although the memory of being inside her makes me swell again, but I ignore it.

I didn't think I'd ever earn a donor hoop, but this is the first time it's occurred to me that I won't ever be a mentor. My stomach feels tight for a moment, then I remember that I'm going to take Nasrin, and any other women I find back to a cloister.

Maybe I can mentor Ree's sons. Although, I suppose she probably isn't going to die either. The idea fills me with joy and the way I feel about Thivoll becomes far less complicated.

She strokes back down the outside of my ear, interrupting my mind trying to picture what they would look like.

I glance over to Nasrin. She's deep in thought again, this time while touching her own ear spikes. I hope we both live long enough to do her piercings.

That thought is enough to make my armor no longer seem too tight.

I distract myself by asking her to share what she knows about the argila.

Apparently it isn't much, but she lets me know that Roshan and Darya came from her former companion's planet; telling me all the horrible ways he treated the poor creature.

I am once again glad that I used much violence on him, but even more thankful that she does not see me as a brute anymore.

The day stretches on, and I measure the time until sunset using my fingers against the sky. Perhaps another six or so hours. The day is still young, but we still haven't gotten good rest. We are both tired, though I don't let it show; she doesn't need to waste her energy on me, even if I'd enjoy her attention.

The silence in the cart is peaceful, the argila communicate with each other in low bleats, as Roshan pulls the cart behind him. As if they have known each other for longer than a couple of hours.

I would have asked Roshan how he did it, got a stranger to trust him.

I wish it was not so tense when we first met. Now that we have gotten familiar, I can see all the warmth she is capable of sharing and it makes her mixed feelings for me apparent. She has been stiff since we climbed back into the cart.

Maybe she regrets it.

Then I think back to her fingers brushing my ear, and I feel hopeful.

We keep moving along and Nasrin moves closer and closer to me. Soon she is leaning up against me and I decide not to move, unwilling to interrupt something that is making both of my hearts pound.

The wind nips at my fingers harshly, and when we move past a small, rocky path, Nasrin falls against my shoulders and doesn't stir.

I adjust her sleeping form properly on my shoulder and will the patterns on my skin to stop dancing around so much. The green radiating from me looks beautiful against her sleeping form, and it's difficult to tear my eyes away and focus on the path.

I wonder who put these paths in and why they aren't in the area where I met Thivoll and Ree.

The cart rides on and in my peripheral vision, I catch a silver sheen. I make sure all my weapons are close, but when we get closer, I realize that it is a chamber like the one I saw in the ruins of the hunters' camp.

"Nasrin," I mutter, shaking her awake softly.

"Hm?" she says, yawning and stretching her arms above her head, half turning to face me as she does so.

I point in the direction of the silver chamber, and she turns to look at me with wide eyes. "It's like mine. A woman could be in there."

The excitement in her voice is reflected in my own chest and I slow the cart down a small distance away from it.

I hop down from the cart but hold a hand out in front of her when she goes to follow me. "Hold tightly to your weapon and stay close. This could be a trap."

She nods. I place my hand on the hilt of my knife cautiously. And we move ahead, her trailing behind me.

I scout the area ahead to make sure we are alone before walking to the cryo chamber . I am able to breathe a little easier after seeing that there is a person inside, although I am not sure if she is alive.

Nasrin pushes me aside, crouches in front of the chamber, and starts fiddling around with it. "We need to get her out. What if she's hurt?"

She is chattering to herself as her fingers look for a way to open the container, but I place a hand on her shoulder. "Ree mentioned it might be better to leave them in their chambers until they are in a safe place."

I relay the information given to me by the other woman, cautious so I don't somehow tamper with the pod or the woman inside.

Nasrin whips her head around to look at me, annoyance in her eyes. "Leave her? She could be dead!"

I sigh, wishing we were back in the cart with her warm, soft body pressed against me. Things are easier that way instead of constantly saying things she doesn't like.

I squat beside the pod and slide my hands over the glass top of the chamber to get a better view. "She is breathing fine. She is alive," I try to assure her, but she is not eager to listen.

Her face screws itself into a disapproving frown and my hearts beat faster in unison. We are about to have another one of our disagreements. Again.

She shakes her head vigorously. "When I woke up inside this thing, I couldn't breathe. I thought I was going to die, Kuret. Do you understand that?"

Her face is a deep red, and the hair on her brows is down.

"That does sound terrible, but Ree seemed to have more experience with these sorts of things and I wouldn't want to mess anything up. Maybe you are not meant to wake up while you are inside of it."

It would explain why the woman is sleeping peacefully. Her green hair is splayed around her hands, covering a good deal of her naked body. Clearly another woman like Nasrin or Ree who has been brought here against her will.

I don't let my eyes linger on her form, uncomfortable with how vulnerable she looks and not wanting to be disrespectful.

Nasrin sits on her legs and stares hopelessly at the chamber. "Why did Ree say that, then?"

I rub my hands along my marks, thinking. "I only recall her telling me that it would be best if the women who have not already gotten out stayed inside."

She stays silent and I start to get increasingly worried. Regardless of the fact that we are not directly in the way of danger, I need to find somewhere for us to rest soon.

"Nasrin, we need to leave."

She turns to look at me with great sadness in her eyes and I feel my hearts drop. If I could, I would take all this pain from her and bear it myself.

When she speaks, her voice is low. "I know why Ree asked them to be left in there."

I open my mouth to ask why, but she beats me to it. "So that they don't end up like me."

I crouch beside her again. "What do you mean, Nasrin?"

She points to her ears and her sleeve slides up. "We are not supposed to leave the chamber until we've been sold. Once we leave it, we start changing. I guess based on who we are around."

It all starts to make sense to me. The first trait she got was the silver skin, like her dead companion Tehlmar, and then eyes from the dead hunter, then her ears started to look like mine. It also puts into perspective the reason why Ree got hers.

"All this because of the genali," I growl out.

I love her qendi traits, especially that they come from me and not another male of my kind. Though what is happening to her is a terrible thing to do to another person.

I get on my feet and help Nasrin up. "We should head out, find another place to rest for the night, and decide when we are not so exhausted."

She agrees as a yawn leaves her.

I carry the heavy chamber, glad I don't have to move it far, place it in the corner of the cart and climb in. I help her up and we settle into the cart.

Roshan and Darya start moving and I steer ahead, keeping my eyes out for a good place to rest.

Nasrin stares at the woman inside the chamber, her hands resting on the glass.

I can only imagine how she feels. It can't be easy—she understands all too well what this other woman has endured and what she'll face when she wakes up. It must feel like looking at a mirror image of herself.

It is dark and there is a nagging pain behind my eyes. Desperate for rest, I search for a spot with enough cover then divert off the path into a dense, bushy area, glad when I see a large rock.

We go around and I scan the area, deciding that we will rest here for now. "Nasrin," I call out to her, but I don't get a response.

I turn to look at her and see that she has fallen asleep, holding onto the cryo chamber . "Nasrin, I found a resting place," I jostle her gently and her eyes blink open.

She looks around us in confusion and rubs her eyes. "We've reached Ree? Where is she? I have questions and some demands."

She shuts her eyes again, face resting on top of the chamber, and I laugh softly at her.

"No, we have not, but soon," I say as I help her down and begin to carry the rest of the things from the cart.

I place her in a corner with the cryo chamber and watch her curl up to it and go back to sleep. I am reminded once more how beautiful she is when she isn't upset with me.

No, she is beautiful then, too, though not as alluring as when I am giving her pleasure. I long to do it again, but since she hasn't brought it up, I assume she must not want to think about it again.

It makes my hearts hurt.

I leave Roshan and Darya free to graze while I hide the cart behind a thick strand of bushes.

As I move back to the rock, I feel eyes on my back.

When I turn around, I don't see anything or hear anything. Maybe it's the exhaustion and the constant sense of danger.

There's no one to trade off duties with and I miss Samke again with another sharp pang. I hope he survived.

Still, I can't shake the feeling of being watched and I decide to make myself feel better by going around to take a look. My search doesn't prove fruitful, so I lay down next to Nasrin, sharing my warmth with her. She lets out a long sigh in her sleep and moves closer to me.

I lay next to her, thinking, with one hand tight on the hilt of my knife. Should the need arise, I will be ready.