21. Kuret

21

Kuret

Nasrin's discomfort is obvious and I can tell there is anger coursing through her as she questions the fairness of life.

I want to tell her that life is never fair. Things just happen to us and the best we can do is find a new purpose, but I know she will get more angry at it, so I say nothing and try to comfort her with my silence instead.

It doesn't work.

She becomes silent and covers herself with her clothes. I watch in sadness as it crawls over her body, covering the exposed parts of her arms and tender fingers, her light brown neck and finally her beautiful hair.

I decide to speak and risk her anger. "We will return to Ree and maybe she will have answers. I… I am glad I found you. That it is you I get to protect."

She lets out a long breath and glances over at me. At least I can still see her expressive eyes.

Right now, they are still angry and she doesn't reply. Doesn't say she is glad I found her, too.

This is more than enough evidence to me that males and females should indeed remain separate because we are not compatible with each other. At least I am not.

All I have been trying to do since I caught up to her is assure her that I am not the enemy. I thought we had an understanding, but the moment I speak up, she creates a shell over herself.

It is because I stared and complimented her. Ree told me and I didn't listen, and this is the consequence. Samke would know what to do, and I find myself longing once again for someone that knows what it is like on my world, in my culture.

With a start, I realize she must be feeling the same. I am used to females trusting me, but it was something that had been earned by all of the cloister guards before me. I just have to earn her trust instead of continually making her angry.

Knowing that I am the direct cause of this reaction does not sit well in my stomach at all, and before I know it, I am seething quietly. Not at her, but at the fact that I have ruined… something.

I'm not even sure what.

I keep making these childish mistakes and I wish again that I could remember my time in the cloister. Surely they taught me something about how to interact with females?

Nasrin's bright eyes are still trained on mine, with only her lips and nose visible. I have to hold myself from blurting out how she cannot hide her beauty no matter how much she tries to cover herself up.

An avioid squawks in the air above us and it reminds me that predators will soon be attracted to the smell of the male's dead body and we will need to be far from there by the time they arrive. If we are caught by them, I will have to fight for our lives, and her dislike for violence might make her take off from me.

And then she would hiss at me for following her.

I force myself to pull my eyes away from her and dig through my memory for any nearby places we could rest.

I don't like the silence between us, so I try to fill it with neutral topics. "I scouted a few clearings and caves we could head toward tonight."

Maybe that one hidden behind large, leafy trees would be the best option. I had meant it to be a resting place after I shared my information with Nasrin and that terrible male.

It is strange how your plans can get interrupted without warning. The day I was captured, I hadn't expected to spend my time fighting genali. I would have offered myself to them without struggle to save the rest of my people, had they only asked.

I suppose life makes its own plans. It certainly gave me no sign whatsoever that I would become the protector of this female who seems to loathe my very existence. Yet here I find myself.

When I turn back to Nasrin, she is still looking at me, but it feels like she does not actually see me. I realize she is lost in her thoughts and while I would like to take advantage of the opportunity and stare at her pleasant face, we need to leave this place.

I clear my throat and she focuses on me, her face devoid of any emotion. "We should start moving. The stale blood will soon attract unwanted visitors," I say and she looks away from me as if she didn't hear me or didn't care.

"I don't know if I feel safe going anywhere with you," she tells me, scratching at her blue guardian.

Her words are daggers going straight into one of my hearts. What have I done this time?

The large animal makes a noise before getting up, not even sparing me a glance.

I hope she doesn't remember that I have not yet promised not to shed blood the entire time I am accompanying her. She might not understand the repercussions of such a promise, but I do.

"Please, Nasrin, we have to leave this place. We must find somewhere else to rest and recuperate. It has been a long night," I beg, my voice strained.

Surely she has to understand the urgency of our situation. What if the genali are hunting or tracking us?

I can tell she agrees with the last part of what I said when she doesn't argue and lets out a deep sigh instead. "It has," she simply agrees, and I exhale in relief that stirs my braids, glad that she is not fighting me anymore.

I look up at the ridge and note that we will have to climb back over it to resume our journey.

Nasrin is looking up at Roshan, then glances over to me. "We will have to go up there," I tell her, pointing.

She moves her head up and down in agreement.

She starts to speak to the creature beside her in a different language and tone of voice.

I assume she is telling him about our next move, and I fight back the urge to laugh. It is an animal that cannot understand a single word that she is saying, regardless of the language she is speaking, but I find it beguiling that she feels the need to involve him in everything.

Everything she does fascinates me. She's fragile but so strong inside her mind and her will. Unfortunately, that strength of will is holding onto a grudge.

After she has spoken to him, she faces me. "He should go up first and I will go after him."

Now her guard is back up, the switch in tone between when she speaks to the animal and when it's me clear. There is an edge in her voice when she talks to me that just melts when she's cooing at the big animal.

I'm more than a little jealous, but I force my mind to focus.

"He will not agree to go up if you do not go first," I protest and she opens her mouth to say something but decides against it.

As I hold my arms out, offering to help her up, I can see her struggling with the decision.

Then she glances in the direction of where I carved up the male and shudders, then uses my hand to steady herself as I pull her up. She barely weighs anything.

I make a mental note to make sure she eats more, all while trying not to stare at the tantalizing curves of her body.

She hobbles toward the ridge. Roshan follows right behind her with no persuasion.

I take a moment to appreciate the movement of her thighs and rear, wondering if all of her would jiggle like that if she were properly fed. I shake my head with a sharp click of my tongue, annoyed when I have to adjust myself so I can move to catch up.

I make myself look at her annoying companion, catching a glimpse of the gash I caused on it. The reminder of her anger is more than enough to crush my errant arousal.

"Where are we headed?" she asks when she hears me coming behind her.

"I'd like to move back into the heavy trees right away, but for tonight we should go toward known shelter."

"You mean go back into the forest ?"

"Is that what it is called?"

I roll the foreign word around on my tongue as she makes a snorting sound. "Life has become very strange, Kuret. I just realized you spoke an English word, and I understood it. A word I didn't know, somehow translated by an alien technology , after spoken by an alien who doesn't even know what a forest is."

I'm not really sure I understood what she means, but I'm relieved to hear the humor in her clicks and the undertones of her whistles.

We are on the edge of the forest . The trees are sparser here with more grassland and outcroppings of rock like the little cliff face she fell down.

Maybe now that her mood is better, she will take part in the larger mission and I decide to share it with her.

"The plan is to take you to Ree. She is currently putting together a cloister of all the other women that she can find a way to rescue."

She whips her head sharply and I miss the way her white hair would flow around her face when she had it out.

I want to ask why she has covered it, but the stormy look in her eyes stops me.

"I am not joining a cloister."

Her words are firm and don't seem to have any space for argument.

I am extremely confused. I open my mouth to ask why, but she answers my question before I can ask it.

She squeezes her knuckles tight and the animal at her side visibly tenses up in response. "I have lived my entire life confined to a place. I don't want to do that again. Ever."

I'm not sure how to respond, especially the way her narrow eyes are directed at me. But I don't understand why she has had such a negative reaction.

"A cloister is the best way to keep you and the other women safe, especially with the knowledge that the hunters are especially after your kind." I try to explain, hoping that she will understand that it is a matter of safety.

Nasrin is adamant, and she shakes her head at me. "I can't live the same life on two different planets."

Her eyes are glistening fiercely, and she has not relaxed her stance.

If she wasn't being so unreasonable, I would find the movements and pose noble and beautiful. I don't know what she means by that, but I decide I it's best to not argue anymore.

It is all we have done since the moment we met and I don't want to continue like this.

I want us to start over. To meet each other for the first time again so that I will not be the violent killer she sees me as, but I know that I cannot have everything I want.

Or anything, it seems, judging by how she's once again looking at me like I'm the enemy.

Maybe there will be a chance for that when we get to the cloister, but I will have to get her there first. "It is acceptable if you do not want to stay in a cloister with the other women, but we have to get to Ree first. She is soft-spoken and will listen to your requests so you can take them to her."

Ree will know what to do and say to get her on their side. I am terrible at explaining things to other people.

And especially terrible at saying anything to this small female.

I would probably only make everything worse if I tried to explain further.

Her shoulders droop as she loosens when I mention this, and her frown drops slightly. I can tell she still has thoughts running through her mind, but at least this is enough until we get to Ree.

I am conflicted on whether I want the journey to be quick or not.

Part of me wants us to get to Ree as soon as possible. So that I can make sure she and Roshan are safe and not have to worry about them any longer. While the other part of me thinks that now that Roshan is not trying to bite me every time I move, I don't think of it as an enemy and Nasrin is pleasant to be around when she is also not verbally attacking me.

In those brief, blissful moments. My lips quirk up.

It's nice to share the experience of being confused on a new planet with someone else, though I can tell she thinks I have more experience here. I hope I can tell her I am just as confused as she is about why she is here so we can talk about it more openly, but first I need to figure her out.

That means getting her to safety faster than this crawling pace, though I haven't heard anyone else so far.

"Roshan, he can carry your weight, yes?" I ask her, eager to change the conversation.

She shakes her head up and down and I take pride that I understand what it means. "There was a cart and Tehlmar and I were on it while he pulled it, to I believe he can."

I click my tongue against the roof of my mouth gladly. "That is good. You should get on him to see if he will carry you."

She frowns and shakes her head left and right. "No. He's hurt," she says. "I can walk on my own."

Her resolve is so strong that I nearly believe her, until she takes a step forward and squeaks painfully, nearly falling over. I dart forward and catch onto her hand to stabilize her, hovering until she at last puts some of her weight on the animal.

It nudges her with its nose, as if it is trying to find out whether she is fine.

"He might be injured but you are far worse than him. He seems to want to help. I think you should let him."

As if agreeing with me, Roshan nudges her again and bleats quietly.

She chews on her brown-pink bottom lip, thinking. Watching the movement, I first wonder why she isn't bleeding, then get lost wondering how it would feel if she bit me like that. She can pick where.

"We can try," she says. "But if it looks like it hurts too much, I'm getting off."

I blink for a moment, trying to remember what we were talking about.

That's right.

I make a sound of agreement and help her get on his back, only part of my mind paying enough attention to avoid jostling her painfully. Mostly, I focus on how her waist feels under my hands. Easily two finger-widths of softness before I feel her sharp bones and flexing muscles.

Nothing like the thin skin covering the corded muscle of my body. I hold in a groan as my cock swells again and I imagine how it would feel to hold her against me.

To hold on to her there as I…

It takes a sharp bite to the inside of my mouth and the taste of blood to get myself back under control. She's even younger than Ree and not that long ago I was judging Thivoll for this very thing.

My chest tightens with shame as both hearts thump.

I watch as she puts space between herself and the marking of his injury. I start to feel guilty again about the injury, but I shake it off. The creature does not seem bothered anymore, so why should I?

After steadying her on him, I take hold of the reins and pull him forward slightly.

He lets out a braying sound that I can tell is from pain and I look to Nasrin to see if she has any complaints. She looks down worriedly at the animal and rubs her palm against it but it does not protest so we start moving.

I lead us back in the direction we came from and toward the cave. I don't know how she'll feel about being so close to her former companion's remains, but I'll just have to endure her rage.