17. Kuret

17

Kuret

This human woman is… strange, to say the least.

Even now, injured and barely able to stand, she still holds a lot of anger in her voice. I truly do not understand how she has such energy for it, though she lays prone on the ground. I want to go help her up, but I know it won't be appreciated.

It would have been admirable if it weren't so vexing.

Her blue creature that I nearly slaughtered looked like it was about to eat her, and I had made it my duty to make sure that she is always safe. I have done my best to explain my reasoning to her, but she is quite adamant about not understanding my motivation.

I am taken aback by her demand. No violence? It's almost like she has no idea how horrible most of the residents of this planet are. You are either an ally or an enemy and all enemies should be killed, lest they kill you.

The way she spat out the word honor wounds me, almost as if it means nothing to her. I am completely befuddled because she doesn't know what she is asking of me. Protection without violence?

If there is a way to keep her safe and never have to kill another hunter until we reach a safe point, I can't imagine it. This whole planet is basically stocked with only enemies. Besides Ree and her protector, the only ally we have is this animal she clings to.

These hunters are the reason she is here in the first place. Surely she has not forgotten that?

Agreeing to her absurd terms means that even when I try to protect her like I did today and there is an altercation, she will fight against me and leave. If anything happens to her after that, I will be completely responsible for whatever takes place? Madness.

I can feel my face screwing up into a mask of frustration, but I cast it off, not wanting to scare her further.

I clear my throat and hope that whatever I say does not make her change her mind. "This planet is dangerous. I know you have seen evidence of that. There is no way we are making it to a safe place without hurting others who are actively hunting and trying to hurt us."

She shakes her head. "Of course we should defend ourselves, but I stand by my words. A single needless exchange or you looking like violence is what you live for and I am heading in the opposite direction from you."

I want to tell her we are still living because of violence, but I bite down on my tongue. How will she define 'needless exchange'? She must delight in exasperating me.

It is the only thing that would explain her insistence. Or she's seeking revenge for the cut on her blue creature.

She holds my gaze with a piercing one of her own and I look away immediately. I have no idea what to do now and I think back to Ree. Surely she allowed Thivoll to be her donor because he is a proven protector. The way he stood between us like a solid barrier, his eyes hanging onto my every move with a threat in every line of his body.

There's no way Ree gave him such a stifling rule as this when they first met, and there's no way that beast would have agreed to it.

I thought it would be easy like it was for them, but nothing about this situation seems similar. I force myself to think back to what stood out to me about Ree and Thivoll's connection.

They met on this planet too, so he was rightfully intimidating at first, just like I am to this small, scared, stubborn female. The most annoying part of this is how fascinating I find the whole thing, in large part because of how she is challenging me.

It's exciting and infuriating all at once.

What did Thivoll do to make Ree trust him like that?

I look at her and the large companion by her side, and I realize that I need to get her to trust me before anything else. If she trusts me, I can kill enemies, and she will not see it as a senseless act of violence, but as a necessity in order to keep her safe.

Maybe I went too far with that male, but that's no excuse to ban me from killing.

I try again. "Let me see if I understand. You are comfortable being in danger, but not comfortable with the idea of me saving you from danger?"

She huffs out a breath. "Of course I don't like being in danger, and you keep making it sound like I said you can't protect me. I meant—You know what? This conversation is ridiculous. We're all injured. Let's focus on that."

"Alright," I concede.

I glance at her and her eyes are still trained on me, keeping watch on every movement my body makes, as if she expects me to attack her at any moment. It makes my hearts constrict painfully.

Why does she not see that my intentions are only to help?

I look away from her and wonder whether I am wrong about all of this. It would explain my difficulty in talking to females and all the issues that follow, as well as the knowledge that I was never chosen as a donor or wanted to be a part of it.

The words stall at the back of my throat, then try to spill out in a jumbled mess that only ends up as a noncommittal grunt. I shift on my feet and feel the shooting pain in my knee again, which reminds me why I am here in the first place.

I give myself a mental slap and force my head into focus. Self-pity after losing my honor makes it a worse loss for me and I am not taking defeat that easily, not after how many hunters I have vanquished within a few hours of being here.

Raising my afflicted knee, I pull the shard of rock from it and rise to my full height, relieved it's not a serious wound. I'm annoyed that something as simple as a rock found the weakness in my armor.

Taking a slow step forward, I reach a hand out to the woman and she flinches, alarming the odd-looking creature. It stands tall and places itself as a barrier between her and me once more, its big black lips pulled back as it hisses at me.

I can appreciate its goal, but now is not the time. "I know it is protective of you, but I have to get close enough to help."

She shakes her head up and down before placing a hand on one of the creature's legs and petting it. Her voice is low when she speaks to it, scratching at the sides of its head and under its chin in what I assume must be her language.

The animal responds to her, but doesn't take its menacing yellow eyes off me. I find it both endearing and agitating because things would go along much quicker if it just let me help.

It is getting rather late and I need to find somewhere safe. This area is good for hiding, but there are far too many rocks to be able to find a good place to rest.

The woman's voice takes on a higher pitch as she scratches somewhere it must like, and its eyes flutter shut when it lets out a quiet sound. I decide to use this opportunity to pick up my knife, but when I bend forward, the animal immediately opens its eyes and lurches forward, hissing at me.

It's more intelligent than I had previously thought. It obviously does not speak, although if it did, it would be easier to settle whatever problems it has with me. Maybe then the female wouldn't be so terrified.

I hold my hand out to the animal as some kind of peace offering and watch it flinch away, almost like it expects me to hit it again. I kick my dagger out of the way and take a tentative step closer, but it brays and steps back, its eyes locking with mine.

It bares its strange teeth at me and I take a step back and pointedly look at the female.

She is still talking quietly to it, but my presence obviously disturbs it. If this creature continues to stand in my way, I may have to get rid of it. I see how much she likes it and it seems like they have a great partnership and killing it will make her even more upset, but it seems like that might be the only way to even help her up from where she's laying.

The creature is calm once again, but its eyes don't leave me. I keep my eyes on it when I pick up my blade, clean it off, and shove it in my boot.

I need to get her to Ree. I could easily throw her over my shoulder the entire way there and withstand whatever weak punches her small, five-fingered hands might throw, but I don't want to do that. Those sorts of decisions shouldn't be forced.

I look at her and see how she is gazing at the creature with tenderness. My chest constricts again. I want her to look at me like that, without disdain and fear.

Dragging her the entire way against her will won't get me anything more than anger.

I have never felt the need to struggle for the affections of anyone before, mostly because it came naturally. It is uncomfortable, to say the least, this nagging feeling in my chest that discourages me from taking the necessary steps to make sure that she is safe.

It is rare for one female to be alone with a male, and it grates against my skin to constantly feel like I must be doing something wrong. Maybe she is feeling the same, and that is why she is so defensive. It could be that she is just as new to being around males as I am females.

I try to think of a way to comfort her and then remember the blue creature. "Neither one of us is alone with the other as long as your animal is with us."

The nagging feeling continues in my chest, its bitter taste traveling down my throat, something like guilt, but not quite.

I shake it off.

Nothing should be in the way of protecting a female.