23. Zepp

TWENTY-THREE

zepp

The past week had been a blur of blow jobs and heavy petting, and every time I thought Monroe might finally beg me to fuck her, she didn't.

She was making me wait. Monroe fucking James was making me wait.

Bellamy's Civic ran over a pothole, and I clamped onto Monroe's thigh to keep her head from hitting the ceiling. The friction of her on my lap when he hit another one, made my dick stand at attention.

Jade shifted beside me, fanning smoke from her face and coughing.

"What?" Wolf glanced over, eyes half-glazed. "Never done a little hotboxing before?"

"Yeah, but…" Jade shook her head and coughed again before she sank back against the seat.

Smoke filled the cabin, and by the time we turned off the highway, I wasn't sure how Bellamy could see to drive.

"Why are we going to this party again?" Monroe asked, scrubbing a hand through my hair.

"Free booze."

She leaned into my ear. "We could just go to your house, and I'll suck your dick."

My hold on her thigh tightened, and I pressed my dick up against her. "You can suck my dick at the party…"

"Do you ever think about like," Wolf said, drawing my attention away from Monroe. "What if we're all just amoebas in some giant's body. Just floating around and shit." He passed the joint to Jade with a slight smirk.

"You look like a deep thinker, weirdo."

The car stopped at a four-way, the streetlight outside letting in just enough light that I caught Jade glance at Monroe in a silent "help me" plea.

"Stop with your Play-Doh bullshit, Wolf." Hendrix nearly threw himself in the backseat to punch Wolf in the gut. "If Jade's giving anyone head, it's not you."

"Oh my God." Groaning, Monroe dragged a hand down her face. "It's Plato, you dick. And she is not touching your riddled cock."

Jade mumbled "shit" under her breath. The more Monroe told my brother to leave Jade alone, the more he would chase after her like a dog with his dick out.

"She has a mind of her own," Hendrix said.

"And unfortunately for you," Monroe flicked him in the forehead, "brain cells."

Wolf lowered his window, then shooed the smoke out. "Get high, neighborhood. Get high."

I dropped my head against the seat, drowning out Monroe and Hendrix's argument until Bellamy parked at the end of a cul-de-sac, and everyone piled out.

Music drifted from the house at the end of the dark street.

Monroe glanced from the house to me. "Seriously. Blow job." She held out her hands like weighing scales. "Party…"

I would have much rather had a blow job, but the guys were already giving me grief about not doing shit with them anymore. "You act like this is torture." I took her hand in mine and followed the guys across the street.

"It is."

Jade leaned in beside her. "You cannot leave me here."

"Fine." Monroe sighed. "Someone has to protect you from Hendrix."

Hendrix snorted when he shouldered past us. He stopped at the gate, then rubbed his palms together as he glanced over the party-goers crowding the back lawn. "I spy with my little eye something beginning with P . And it's pussy!" He whacked me on the back. "Don't worry, bro. I'll pipe one down in your memory."

I gave him a shove, then he and the other guys strutted off through the party while Monroe and I grabbed a beer from the keg. Full cups in hand, we went to the empty glider at the back of the yard and took a seat. I stared across the jam-packed yard, thinking about the fact that I used to come to parties for two things. Beer and girls. Now both seemed like a waste of time. I would have rather stayed at home with Monroe, but the guys would never have let me live that down.

"Friends in Low Places" blared through the busted speakers, the bass of the twangy country song humming. Everyone at the party sang along, except Monroe and me.

I nudged her in the ribs, scooting a little closer. "Don't wanna sing?"

"Do I look like the kind of girl who sings?" She lifted her cup to her lips, eyeing me over the top. "Don't you wanna sing?"

"Do I look like the kinda guy who sings?"

"No. And I'm so happy about that."

I stared across the yard. Hendrix threw his arm around some prissy-looking girl in a blue jean skirt.

"Your brother is such a dog." She looked at me, but I couldn't argue that. "Why do you never date girls?"

That was a simple answer. "Wasn't any worth dating." Every other girl had wanted to date me because I was the "bad boy" who didn't date. They wanted to be the one to change that. Monroe—at least I wanted to believe—was with me because I wasn't who she thought.

Jade came rushing through the yard and took Monroe's hand. "Save me from him." She glanced over at Wolf standing by the keg and shooting a stream of beer into his mouth. "He's talking about weird shit."

Monroe snorted as she pushed to her feet. "It's Wolf. He's always weird."

"Come to the bathroom with me."

I grabbed a refill from the keg, watching Monroe's ass shake until she and Jade disappeared into the house. Foam had just trickled over my hand when a hand slapped over my shoulder.

The stout scent of cologne washed over me. "Hey, Zepp. My man. My bro."

Dizzy skirted in front of me, draining the bottle of vodka in his hand before chucking the glass to the ground. "I'mma take care of your man Jerry real soon."

"Good."

"That motherfucker's bad. Why you got beef with him? You ain't into meth dealing, are you?"

I slapped his hand away from my shoulder. "Fuck, no."

"Then why you want ole' Jerry's ass whooped, homes?" Dizzy was sound, and one thing he hated was a guy who hit on women. Couldn't hurt to tell him.

I clenched my jaw. "He's fucking with my girl."

"Messing with your girl. Aw, hell nah, man." A deep scowl crept over his face. "Wait. Your girl? Shit, bitch. You gotta girl?" He jerked his chin back toward the now-empty glider Monroe and I had been sitting on. "That redhead?"

"Yeah."

"Shit, man." He whacked me on the back. "She's gotta pair of tits on her. My boys always be tryin' to get lap dances from her over at The Rabbit. And you're fucking that shit? Spreading those legs like peanut butter on toast." He laughed, and my fingers drew into fists. Part of me wanted to ask him if he was sure it was her, but then I knew.

She acted shady as fuck when I had dropped her off at Cha Chas because she worked at the strip club across the street, giving shitheads like Dizzy lap dances. It took everything in me not to nail Dizzy.

He kept running his mouth. "She gotta big ole' booty too. Really knows how to grind it. Bitch, you lucky."

The blood rushing through my ears sounded like a freight train. It took everything in me not to pop Dizzy in his mouth.

"Yeah, man," I said and started toward the house.

"Hey, Zepp!" Dizzy called from behind me. "Where you going?"

Ignoring him, I shouldered through the crowd of kids funneling beer and shoved into the kitchen. The underclassman shoveling dip into his mouth by the kitchen table froze when I stopped in the doorway.

"Where's the bathroom?" I asked.

Dip Guy slowly pointed toward a hallway with his chip, and I took off. I was pissed she had lied to me. Pissed that other guys put their hands on her. Pissed that I had no clue who she was when I thought I did.

Jade stepped into the narrow hall, her steps faltering when her gaze landed on me. "Um. Hi. Zepp."

I moved past her with a grunt, blocking the doorway just as Monroe made it to the threshold.

"What are you doing?"she asked.

I backed her into the room, then slammed the door behind me. A barrage of insults danced on the tip of my tongue, anger bleeding through my veins, but I forced it all back "You're my girl, right?" I gripped her waist, bringing my face inches from hers like I was going to kiss her.

"You know I am." A slight wrinkle set between her brows. "Zepp, what—"

"Which means no other guys can touch you."

"What?" She pushed at my chest, forcing space between us. "You think I'd cheat on you?"

The vision of her stripping, straddling men's laps flashed through my mind, and a surge of heat careened through my veins. "Not what I said." I stared down at her.

Confusion crumpled her face, and part of me thought maybe Dizzy didn't know what he was talking about. But deep down, I knew, and I hated that I had trusted her.

"Would you lie to me, Roe?"

The slight flush to her cheeks washed white. Her gaze dropped to the floor on a heavy swallow. "You know," she whispered.

I balled my fist against the wall, my jaw clenching. It pissed me off that she took her clothes off for men, that other men touched her, stroked her, but what made me angrier than anything else was that she had lied. Which meant she didn't trust me. Music from the party outside drifted underneath the bathroom door.

"Do you want to break up with me?"

"Jesus Christ, Monroe. I hate that you let men see you naked." I grabbed her chin and lifted her face, but she tugged away from my hold. "But what I hate more is that you told me you trusted me when you don't."

"I do trust you."

"You don't, or you would have fucking told me."

"How was I supposed to tell you that? You look at Chase like you want to kill him, and he's never even touched me!"

"Because he looks at you like he can have you. It has nothing to do with you, and every goddamn thing to do with him." I thought about the way Chase looked at her, and how that probably paled in comparison to how those perverts at The White Rabbit looked at her while she was straddling their dicks.

"I couldn't tell you."

The anger humming through my blood finally boiled to the surface, and I slapped a palm over the wall beside her head. "The hell you couldn't. You lied to me."

"What was I supposed to say?"

I took a step back, swiping a hand over my face while I tried to collect myself.

"Tell me you wouldn't have walked away," she said.

"No."

I took a step back and dragged my hands through my hair. "I don't even care about that, Monroe. I care that you don't trust me."

She was the only person I had trusted outside of the guys. Outside of my mom, and I had desperately wanted that with her.

"I trust you. I just didn't want to lose you." That was a knife to my chest.

I wouldn't have left her over that.

Someone banged over the bathroom door, and Monroe slipped out from under my arm, unlocking the door. She shoved through the group of girls waiting outside the bathroom. By the time I made it to the back yard, she was over on the glider with Jade. She had looked ashamed as hell, so I decided just to leave her alone.

For the next hour, I watched her and Jade slam back drinks—right up until one of the private school girls sauntered over to me, batting her eyelashes. The girl had barely gotten the word "hi" out of her mouth before Monroe's drunk ass was right beside me, swaying and pointing at the girl's face.

"Move the fuck along." She shooed at the girl like a stray cat before tipping her drink back.

I took the now-empty cup away from her.

"Do you hate me?" She swayed before her hand landed on my chest. God, she was drunk.

"No." I looped an arm around her waist, plastering her against me before I claimed her mouth with a kiss. She pressed her tits against my chest.

"I want you, Zepp." She grabbed my dick through my jeans. "So bad."

And I wanted her. I could take her back into the bathroom, give us both what we wanted. "All right," I said, taking her hand and starting toward the house. "Bathroom it is."

Halfway across the yard, shouting broke out from the deck. Of course, Hendrix was in the middle of it, throwing punches.

"Jesus Christ," I mumbled. By the time I got to the porch, some guy was knocked out cold, and Wolf and Bellamy were holding Hendrix back by the arms.

Bellamy glanced over his shoulder when we walked up. "Ready to go?"

"Yeah." I didn't wait, just headed around the side of the house and climbed in the rear of Bellamy's car. The second the door closed, Monroe was in my lap, lips to mine, all tongue and teeth.

"Holy shit, Monroe." Jade smacked at us both. "I'm in here. Gross."

Monroe fumbled with my belt.

"I swear to God," Jade groaned just as the other doors opened and the guys climbed in.

Hendrix with a girl. How the hell my brother had managed to beat some guy's ass and pick up a girl on the way out…

"I want to fuck you," Monroe whispered in my ear, and my dick stood at attention.

"That a fact?"

I spent the next fifteen minutes trying to keep Monroe from pulling my dick out in the car, and by the time we got to my house, I was ready to strip her naked and fuck her on the lawn. The second the door to my bedroom had shut, her fingers went to my belt. "I want you."

"Yeah? You keep saying that." Before I could utter another word, she dropped to her knees and had my dick in her mouth. I bit back a groan.

Monroe had sucked me off countless times, but this... This was headed in the direction I had been trying to go for over a month. Every time I was around her, my dick felt like it was ready to explode from waiting. And every time we got anywhere close to both being naked, she would stop me. Tonight, though… Tonight I was fucking her until she would have no choice but to feel me for days when she sat down.

She teased her tongue over my piercing, and damn, that had my knees wanting to buckle.

My grip on her hair tightened, and my eyes closed while I imagined stripping off every piece of her clothing, settling between her thighs, and then destroying her. She got me right to the point of coming before I pulled away.

"Gonna come inside me instead?" She bit her lip on a smile.

"Holy fuck…"

The girl never talked dirty. She was downright awkward, but give her a little beer and... I grabbed her by the waist, kicking off my jeans then my boxers as I backed her to the bed.

"What do you want?" I shoved up her shirt and pulled her bra to the side, then sucked a nipple into my mouth while grinding against her. "Huh?"

"Everything." She clawed at my shirt, dragging it up my body.

I worked my way over her stomach, pulling her thong down her legs before I bunched her skirt around her waist. "You want me to tease you or make it quick?" I shoved her thighs apart, placing my face inches from her while circling my thumb in just the right spot to make her back bow from the bed.

"Zepp," she moaned, grabbing at my hair.

I gave one slow lick over her, nearly losing it. I was going to come on myself before I ever got the chance to screw her if this kept up.

"Like this?" I asked, giving her another swipe of my tongue.

She pitched up, moaning and swearing. Fisting the sheets, then my hair. I had her panting and grinding against my face, and when I felt like she was ready to come, I sat up, then flopped down on the bed beside her and fisted myself.

"Good?"

"No!" She tugged off her shirt, followed by her bra, but I stopped her when she went for the laces on her boots.

"No way. Leave those fuckers on."

Warm, bare tits pressed against my chest as she straddled me. And holy shit, nothing separated us. Not a damn thing. I flipped her onto her back, kissing her while I reached for a condom in my nightstand. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah." Her voice caught on a ragged breath.

I warred with myself while I kissed her. I shouldn't fuck her like this, but I wanted her. Just her. I needed that connection so damn much. And it wasn't like we hadn't done everything but. It wasn't like this hadn't been some fine line we had been toeing for damn near a month. So I ripped the foil open and rolled down the condom. Monroe invited me in by spreading her legs a little more. Then I froze inches from her, fighting the thought that I should wait until she was sober. We were dating. We had almost fucked ten times before. I groaned because the dilemma was real.

"You're sure? You want me to fuck you. Now. Here?" My dick was pulling toward her like a magnet, wanting to take the plunge before I changed my mind.

"Yes." She kissed me. "I just want you. No one else."

I shifted on my arms, tip in when she shoved me back a little.

"Wait. Will it hurt a lot?"

My stomach bottomed out. That wasn't a "be gentle." That was an "I don't have a clue what's going on. Is this going to hurt."

"What?" I moved back enough to study her face. There was a hint of something—something I didn't like. "Roe...?"

"Just do it." She grabbed my ass, wrapping her legs around me and trying to pull me close. "It's fine. I trust you."

No way in hell, she was a virgin. "Fuck." I rolled onto my side, grabbing my dick in my hand while I stared at the ceiling, panting for breath.

"What are you doing?"

I had no idea what I was doing. I turned on the pillow to face her. "You're drunk."

"So?"

My gaze dropped to her tits, to her pussy, and I had to close my eyes to keep myself from jumping right back on her. "And a virgin?"

"Oh, so now you don't want me just because I don't know what I'm doing?" Her words slurred together.

I swiped a hand down my face. That was where her mind had just gone. Not that, maybe, for the first time in my life, I was trying to be a decent human being. As horny as I was, it wouldn't take anything more than feeling her squeeze me one good time and I would be as good as done. I didn't need her to know what she was doing, and to be honest, the idea that I would be the only guy ever to have her was enough to make me come.

"Is that it?" She huffed, and I glanced back at her face.

"No. It's because I don't want to take your virginity when you're shitfaced."

Seconds passed, the bang of Hendrix's headboard next door, almost making my eye twitch.

Monroe eventually rolled onto her side hard enough that the mattress bounced. "Why does it matter, Zepp?"

"Because I don't want you to hate me tomorrow."

She trailed a finger down my stomach. "I could never hate you."

As much as I wanted to believe that, I knew better. Given the right circumstances, anyone could hate anybody. I still had my dick in a vice grip in my hand, trying to strangle the need out of it while I stared at the ceiling, my thoughts tangled together.

"You could," I said.

When I glanced beside me, Monroe had closed her eyes. Her bare tits rose and fell on steady swells.She had passed out in nothing but her boots, leaving me with nothing but my hard dick and my thoughts.

Then it hit me like an eighteen-wheeler barreling down a road: She was a stripper and a virgin. How messed up was that, that we lived the kind of life where she was rubbing her tits in men's faces and straddling their laps when she hadn't even had sex. Something about that was downright tragic. Monroe James wasn't at all what I had thought she was—what anyone thought she was. And she was so much better than I deserved.