11. Creed

CREED

Green.

Orange.

Red.

Black.

Green.

Orange.

Red.

Black.

We’re all dealing with the aftermath of the destruction that unfolded at the Shadowmoor outpost. My coping mechanism, apparently, is to be haunted by those damn colors that play on repeat whether my eyes are open or shut.

Green faceless men flash in my mind, flickers of orange embers, which drastically deepen into crimson red as the blade pierces through Brax’s skin before everything turns to black with Ari’s chaotic arrival.

Black also represents the darkness I was consumed with when I tried to enter their minds. For the first time ever, there was nothing there for me to play with, to bend to my will. The powers I had been in complete awe of since the moment I got them were rendered useless.

Now, as the rest of the house sleeps, I repeat the same thoughts as I stare up at the ceiling. It’s almost laughable that the guy with the ability to twist someone else’s mind can’t control the thoughts that consume his own. Tilting my head to glance at the time, I sigh when I notice it’s a little after four in the morning.

It was the same last night and the night before that, but for the first time, I feel antsy. Lying here isn’t helping. If anything, it’s making matters worse because I now associate getting into bed with staring at the ceiling instead of falling asleep.

Swiping my hair back off my face, I get up, lethargically dragging my feet as I creep out of my room. My gaze instinctively drifts to Raven’s room, but I don’t want to disturb her with my troubles when I know she’s dealing with her own. I want her to be able to rely on me rather than me be a burden.

I turn my attention to the floor-to-ceiling windows that line the back of the house and spot the silhouette of someone sitting outside on the grass. There’s not a single light on, only the shimmer from the moon alerting me to them.

One step in their direction and I instantly catch a glimpse of the familiar pink hair I’m obsessed with.

Raven.

It seems I’m not the only one struggling to sleep.

I don’t know if she’s up for company, but she’s going to get it. It’s one thing to intrude in her space, but outside alone like that, I need her to know I’m here.

The cool air drifts around me as I step outside and quietly close the patio door behind me. She doesn’t acknowledge my approach as she sits cross-legged, looking out over the cliffs and water in the distance.

“Is this a common occurrence for you?” I murmur, trying not to startle her, but she still whips her head around in surprise.

Her hand lifts to her chest as she shakes her head. “You made me jump.” I cock my brow, waiting for her to answer my question, and she quickly catches on as she sighs. “Recently, yes.”

Taking a seat beside her, I look out at the view and breathe it in too. “Do you want to share why?”

She wraps her arms around her bent knees. “I’m not sure if I even know myself,” she admits, and I drape my arm around her shoulders, bringing her closer.

“Why don’t you talk me through it,” I breathe into her hair as she rests her head against my shoulder.

It feels like an eternity passes as she gathers her thoughts, but when she seems to process them, she lets me in.

“The shadows are waking me.”

“The shadows?” I question, and she nods without looking up at me.

“I keep dreaming about the outpost, which then seems to be consumed by the shadows, and when I wake up in a panic, it’s as if my room is filled with them.” What the fuck? “My thoughts keep drifting back to Shadowmoor once they’re gone. Like a niggling feeling that I’m missing something, I just don’t have a single clue what it could be.”

“Do you feel like you’re in danger when you wake to the shadows in your room?” I ask, more to repeat her words and let them settle over me as I realize what my girl is going through.

She pauses a beat, taking a second to answer. “I don’t think so. It’s confusing because I wake up in a panic, and it does eventually drift away, but I can’t differentiate between the dreams and the shadows to define what feeling actually aligns with which scenario.” Her answer confirms she’s been thinking about this too. Something I can’t imagine is easy to process. Could this be linked to her magic? The necromancy that runs through her veins? Possibly, but I don’t ask because I don’t believe she has the answer either.

Focusing on what else she said, I rub my hand up and down her arm. “It doesn’t help that we know absolutely nothing about what we’re training and fighting for.” She’s completely valid in her feelings, and I need her to know that I’m with her no matter what.

“That’s what scares me more than anything else,” she admits, and I nod even though she can’t see me.

“That makes total sense.”

“At least when I was in Shadowmoor, I knew the battles I would face every day. This is something else entirely and there’s no getting away from it. There’s no off switch anymore, no stepping away.” Fuck, I can’t imagine the difference. But more so, I can’t imagine how Shadowmoor looks more appealing with its polluted and toxic environment.

“We’re putting our trust in the hands of those who offer us no reason to do so,” I add, and she nods against my shoulder.

“Exactly.”

Silence falls over us as the words of our reality linger in the air. My heart aches for her and the inability to magically make it all better. I want to take away her worries, but it’s impossible. All I can do is vow to be at her side as we take on this fucked up world.

She’s learning her magic, learning life beyond Shadowmoor, and most of all, she’s learning how to let her walls down and us in.

Shifting, I adjust us so she’s nestled between my legs and leaning back against my chest as I hold her tight. Our heartbeats become one, our breaths syncing as the sun slowly starts to rise. She sighs, wistfully, like it’s an all-too-familiar sight lately, but it still seems to fill her with a boost of positivity as she nestles further into me, a soft smile on her lips.

“We’ll face this together, Raven. If that means we start digging into the bigger picture ourselves, then so be it. You’re not alone anymore. It’s the five of us to the very end. After what we’ve already been up against, nothing in this life seems to be what it is at face value, except us. Always us.”

Her hand wraps around my arm, squeezing in acknowledgment, but before she can speak, Eldon’s voice booms from behind us.

“What are you two whispering about out here?”

Glancing over my shoulder, I find him barefoot with only a pair of shorts on as he ruffles his fingers through his hair. He looks about as rested as we do, and I hate the effect the attack is having on us all.

“Getting some answers,” Raven states, a glum expression washing over her face as she sits up to look at him too.

“Good,” he says with a nod. “That’s what woke me.”

I frown at his statement as Raven quickly rises to her feet to get a better look at him.

“Woke you?” she asks, taking a tentative step forward, and he nods again.

“Yeah.” His hand moves from his messy hair to drag down his face as he tries to wipe the exhaustion away. “My visions are all upside down,” he admits.

“What does that mean?” I ask, rising to my feet beside Raven, but he quickly tries to wave us off. “Fuck that, man. We need to be a team here. We’re all feeling shit, we’re all awake in the dead of night, and we need to piece this together instead of isolating ourselves,” I grumble, making Raven scoff.

“From what I recall, you came out here and we talked about me. You didn’t delve into anything you’re going through yourself.” She gives me a pointed look, but the smirk on her lips lets me know she’s teasing. I hope.

Shrugging, I look between them both. “The attack on the outpost keeps running through my mind when I’m trying to sleep. It’s impossible.” Pursing my lips, I consider how deep I should go before I decide to share everything, since that’s exactly what I’m asking of them. “The green faceless men, the Amayans, were impossible for me to penetrate. I couldn’t get into their minds at all. I was helpless.”

Raven’s hand finds mine without her eyes flicking away from me. The blue hues offer a glimmer of hope in my darkness.

“So what I’m hearing is the outpost is fucking us all over,” Eldon murmurs, folding his arms over his chest as he pretty much sums it all up. “I think a trip to Shadowmoor is needed, don’t you?”

Before either of us can answer, the latch on the patio doors draws our attention to Brax and Zane, both with tired eyes.

“I think that’s exactly what we need,” Brax declares, and I nod.

“I’m still startled by the fact that Fitch offered to train me. There’s something we don’t know, but by the look on his face, he doesn’t seem so privy to the facts either,” Raven adds, and my jaw clenches.

She’s spot on. His offer caught us all by surprise, but the panic in Raven’s eyes was clear. The fear of her magic being revealed to anyone else made it obvious that it is not an option for her. Goodwill gesture or not, Fitch needs to be kept at arm’s length for the foreseeable future. Leila too.

“So what do we do then?” Zane asks, stepping outside and placing himself on the other side of Raven.

“There’s something in my visions, a place I’ve never noticed before, but the darkness that it holds, I get the feeling it may be in Shadowmoor.” Eldon’s brows furrow as he speaks. Being unable to piece his vision together is clearly causing him some issues.

“Shadowmoor it is then.”