10. Raven

RAVEN

Darkness consumes me. Pressure weighs down my body, a tightness growing in my chest as I struggle to summon a single breath.

I’m trapped, lost, sinking.

My eyes ping open, my heart racing in my chest as I pant, struggling to take a deep breath, but even the knowledge that I’m safe in my bedroom doesn’t quell the fear that threatens to consume me.

Shadows paint the walls and fill every available space, even the sheets covering me. They’re moving, writhing around the room like I’m not lying here paralyzed, and it only leaves me feeling even more out of my depth.

Panic rises through me as the shadows grow, yet I can’t see what’s creating the darkness. It’s just me and the shadows.

Finally, a gasp parts my lips as I gulp down a deep breath and the array of black and grays consuming my room seem to halt at the sound, slipping from the bedsheets and receding along the walls before disappearing into nothing.

I don’t move an inch, my pulse ringing in my ears as I slowly gaze around the room. The silence and sudden drop in energy is startling and I’m ready for something to jump out, but after what feels like an eternity… nothing does.

Pressing my palms into the mattress, I lift myself up so I can lean back against the headboard. There’s no gloom nor a single silhouette, not even when I blink a few times. Surely, it was in my head, a part of my dreams? I don’t fucking know.

Maybe I’m going crazy.

Wiping a hand down my face, I sigh. Checking the time, a heavy weight settles on my chest again. The twilight hour. Perfect. Those two words always have such a negative impact on my mentality and I’ve never understood why.

I need some air, a moment to think, a second to feel the grass beneath my feet and know that I am truly grounded and tethered to the soil beneath it.

My bedsheets are rumpled at my waist from sleep, my oversized tee rising up my midriff, and I clamber from my bed in a rush. The second I’ve adjusted my tee so it falls mid-thigh again, I sneak through my door. The house is silent, not a single noise; not that I’d hear it over my heart anyway. And my magic. Every step I take, it seems to rattle inside of me, screaming for attention while tugging me toward the patio doors.

The lock on the door pauses me, but my magic thrums to the surface and before I even consider what I’m doing, I lift my thumb to the metal and watch as it quietly turns at my touch. I hear the latch and grab the handle, instantly feeling the chill of the night air wrap around me. Yet, at the same time, my heart warms. A feeling I have only experienced one other time.

Ari.

He’s near, I’m sure of it.

Closing the door behind me, I wrap my arms around my waist as I step onto the lawn, my toes curling into the blades of grass as I take the deep breath I’ve been desperate for. The waves crashing into the cliffs in the distance lull me further, despite the wind picking up, but it all fades away a moment later when the thud of claws landing nearby catches my attention.

His golden feathers shimmer in the moonlight, his beak harsh but familiar. I don’t know how I get to him—a run, a glide, a jump, I have no clue—but as quick as a breath, I’m standing in front of him.

A comfort I didn’t know I needed, I launch myself at him, clinging to his front leg as my heart rate slowly lowers. An almost-purr echoes in my ears as he drops his head, a mixture of a hug and a nuzzle warming my soul before I take a step back and look up at him. There’s a tension rippling from him that instantly raises my anxiety again.

“I can feel your panic,” I murmur, stroking his chest. “I wish I knew what was causing it.”

A beat passes as he blinks at me.

“You.”

I startle, jumping back a step as a yelp bursts from my lips. I was staring at his face, there’s no way he said…

Glancing around for a moment, I double-check we’re alone, and when nobody appears, I turn back to him just as confused as I was moments ago. “My panic is coming from your panic, Raven.”

The words consume my mind again but his face doesn’t move at all.

“A-are you talking to me?” I tap my finger at my temple and he tilts his head.

“Now that you have found the source of your magic, communicating will be much easier between us.”

“So you’re just… in my head?” My eyebrows furrow, a mixture of surprise and uncertainty swirling in my mind.

“I’m not in your head, I can just project my thoughts so I can speak to you. You still have to talk out loud to me because I can’t hear your thoughts. For now, at least. I’m sure we’ll be able to work on it as you become more familiar with your powers.”

I blink up at him, overwhelmed by the startled awakening I had combined with the fact that I can now hear him. Folding my arms over my chest, I glance out over the cliff. I hear him move but I don’t turn to check on him as I give myself the moment I need.

“Come sit, Raven. You’re a ball of nervous energy.”

Peeking out of the corner of my eye, I find him lying down, facing the shoreline. He’s so calm, so at peace that it’s almost irritating that his energy doesn’t match my own. But despite that, I take the few steps toward him and settle into the grass to his left.

He waits a few breaths before he speaks into my mind again. “What were you panicked about, Raven? I could feel it in every fiber of my body. I had to fly closer to make sure you were okay, so it’s highly confusing considering you were lying in bed.”

I keep my gaze fixed ahead as I sigh. “I could feel… something. It was making me uneasy. Then I woke, but I still felt like I was in the midst of it.” He adjusts his front leg so he’s leaning in my direction and I find myself tilting into his side, seeking comfort in a way I haven’t before. Which makes me delve further into it with him. “I don’t know what it was, but there were shadows again.”

“Again?”

I roll my eyes even though he can’t see. I’m talking to a fucking griffin, my griffin, and there are a million things I want to ask, but I don’t even know where to begin. Talking about the creepy shadows and silhouettes taking over my room doesn’t feel like the most fun topic out of all of my choices.

As the silence stretches and the first specks of dawn break across the horizon, he seems to accept my placidity as he changes the subject. “Do you want to go back to sleep? You can lay here while I protect you if needed.”

I shake my head and stand. All of my questions for him are going to have to wait while I gather my thoughts. I’m too tired for the mental load right now. “No, the sun is starting to rise anyway, which means I’ll need to get ready for classes soon.”

Ari slowly rises, too, turning to face me as he lowers his beak to my stomach. “As you wish.”

I smile, despite my inner turmoil, and turn for the door. My soul feels calmer now that I’ve seen my familiar, even though new revelations have come with it. Despite the overload, I pause when I reach the patio door.

Bracing my hand on the handle, I turn to face him, only to find him watching me already.

“Thank you, Ari,” I breathe, and it’s almost as though he stands taller somehow.

“Always.”

* * *

My gaze is fixedon Professor Fitch, my ass is glued to the seat beneath me, but my mind is elsewhere. Thoughts of Ari this morning still linger, along with memories of the shadows cascading across my room. The second I stepped inside, Zane greeted me. He felt the floor vibrate, declaring Ari’s arrival, but he didn’t want to interrupt.

My brain was just freaking tired. There had been so much unsaid between the Bishops and me and the second the air was cleared, another hurdle was thrown my way with Ari and the shadows.

I need to start a list of things I have to accomplish because this is driving me insane. I feel so connected to the Bishops and Ari, yet so completely isolated that sometimes it’s suffocating. Like now, I have no idea what Fitch has spent the entire lesson talking about, even with his daughter seated beside me. I feel like I’m in a sea full of people, yet alone.

One thing is for certain, though, Fitch’s entire stance has shifted since the carnage at Shadowmoor’s outpost. I can’t put my finger on how, but there’s a shift in him. I can sense it.

He’s always been blunt, cut-throat, and straight to the point, but it feels even more intense. The way he scrubs at his jaw, constantly rolls his shoulders back, and casts a glance toward Leila when he thinks no one is watching confirms it.

Something has him tense and ready to leap into action. I don’t want to say it has him scared, because he doesn’t look the type to ever admit that fear is a feeling he’s ever experienced, but he’s spooked, at least. And if he’s spooked, we’re all doomed. The fact that Leila hasn’t stopped frowning at him the entire time only adds to my theory.

My spine stiffens when the class is dismissed and I quickly shuffle to my feet with Leila. She’s still staring at her father with concern, so I decide to cut my guessing and speak to her.

“Hey, is everything okay with your father? He seems… on edge,” I murmur, careful to ensure no one can hear me. She nervously rubs her lips together as she tracks his every step.

“Honestly? I don’t know. His protectiveness has increased, that’s for sure, but not entirely a surprise after witnessing the attack on the outpost. But… I do think there’s more,” she admits, her worried glance turning to me, and I offer her a soft smile, hoping it conveys the empathy I’m feeling, but shit, it’s not something I’m used to harnessing, never mind displaying to others.

“If I’m noticing it, Leila, I’m sure there’ll be others who are too.” I hate to say it, but it’s the truth, and the grimace that takes over her features tells me she knows it.

“You’re right. I’ll talk to him,” she breathes, and I squeeze her arm in comfort as the man in question comes to a stop in front of us and the class disperses around him.

We both turn to look at him, only to find him assessing the both of us. Every time he turns to me, his mouth opens to speak, but nothing comes out, so he goes back to looking at Leila before repeating the same thing again. When I’m ready to step back from the awkwardness growing between us, he finally speaks. “You can join us if you wish, Raven.”

“For what?”

“Training. We’re focusing on Leila’s strength and magic. Leila insists you’re a good friend, so I can offer the same to you if you wish.” He leans back on the heel of his boots, clearly still unsure whether he actually wants to extend the invite or not, but I’m still caught up on the reasoning.

“Why?”

He purses his lips, glancing at Leila again for a second before settling back on me. “Because it’s easier than attempting to console my daughter if something happens to you.”

I gulp. Wow. That’s a bit fucking deep. It reminds me of the comment I got from Brax before the Gauntlet. I glance over my shoulder to find my gargoyle hovering by his table with Eldon, Creed, and Zane close by. They’re clearly as intrigued as I am, but they’re keeping their distance… for now.

Turning back to Fitch, I can’t help but wonder why he’s suddenly offering. My gut clenches and fear kicks in. Does he know about my magic? Is that why he’s asking? Fuck. If I took him up on his offer, he would know what I could do then.

Instinctively, I step back. Plastering a polite smile on my face, I hike my backpack on my shoulder.

“Thank you for the offer, Professor Fitch, but she already accepted mine,” Eldon interjects, declining for me as I still scramble to piece together the words. He drapes his arm over my shoulder, pulling me into his side as he winks at Fitch.

Fitch’s gaze narrows, but Eldon is already spinning us around and heading for the door without a backward glance. I happily follow his lead, needing the space. Today has been a whirlwind and it’s not even close to being over yet.

Maybe I should have stayed in bed with the shadows. At least I was too paralyzed to stress about everything around me.

“Are you okay?” Eldon asks, his lips brushing over the shell of my ear, and I nod.

“Thank you,” I breathe, making him grin as he presses a kiss to my forehead.

“Anytime, Little Bird.”