Chapter 5

CHAPTERFIVE

Three days after Lara had last spoken with Henley, the therapist’s words still echoed in Owl’s head.

You didn’t ask to be violated.

You didn’t do anything to deserve to be in that situation.

She’d been talking to Lara, but the words had seeped into his consciousness. At no time, in all the years since he’d been a POW, had anyone said those words to him. Not one therapist. They hadn’t come out and said it was his fault he’d crashed either, and yet, that’s the guilt that had consumed him for years.

Thinking back now, he and Stone had done everything in their power to keep from going down…to no avail. And just because they’d crashed, that didn’t give the men who’d dragged them from their helicopter the right to torture them.

As much as the words seemed to lift a weight off his shoulders, they’d also done the same for Lara. She’d encouraged him to help Tonka expand the corral this morning…a task that would take hours. In the past…hell, not even two weeks ago, she would’ve panicked knowing he’d be out of the cabin for so long. But this morning when he’d brought up the project, she’d seemed completely genuine when she told him that she’d be okay while he was gone.

Owl had promised he’d come back to check on her every hour, and she’d insisted that wasn’t necessary. That Cora was going to hang out for a while, then they’d go to her cabin and spend time with some of the other women who lived and worked at The Refuge.

He hadn’t been sure what to say to that. On one hand, he was more proud than he could express at how well Lara was doing. But another part of him was a little sad that she didn’t need him as much anymore. That as she healed, the time when she’d leave crawled ever closer.

It was a horrible thing to think, making him feel like a selfish asshole.

“What are you thinking about so hard over there?” Tonka asked as he stopped to wipe sweat off his brow. Summer was around the corner, but for now they were having a colder-than-average spring, so the weather wasn’t as warm as usual, but with them digging postholes and wrestling with the new fencing, it felt almost balmy.

“Lara.” Owl didn’t bother to lie. This was Tonka. He trusted him with his life. Besides, the man had been through hell. A different kind of hell than he or Stone had experienced, but hell all the same.

“She seems to be doing better.”

“Yeah.”

“She going back to DC?” Tonka asked.

“I don’t know what her plans are,” Owl admitted. “But I’d say yeah…eventually.”

“Grant’s still out there.”

Owl pressed his lips together and nodded.

Tonka stared at him for a long moment.

“What?” Owl asked.

“I want to say something, but I’m not sure how you’ll take it.”

Owl turned to face his friend. Tonka wasn’t the kind of man to gossip, or really even talk all that much, period. He’d gotten much better after getting together with Henley, but he still wasn’t someone who freely gave out advice. He generally hung back, observed, and offered his opinion only when asked. So whatever he wanted to say, it had to be important.

“Say it,” Owl told him.

“Men like Grant…they don’t stop. Once they feel as if they were wronged, or something was taken from them…she’s not going to be able to stop looking over her shoulder, no matter where she goes. At least not until he’s caught, and maybe not even then. The only thing that’s going to stop him is death.”

Owl’s belly churned. Tonka’s lips were pulled down in a frown and he sounded as serious as Owl had ever heard him. He wasn’t sure mentioning the name of the man who’d killed Tonka’s canine partner while he’d been in the Coast Guard was a good idea…but he had a feeling Tonka was talking about that man as much as he was Carter Grant. “Pablo Garcia is in jail. He can’t hurt you, or those you love, ever again,” he said quietly.

Tonka snorted. It was a bitter sound. “You know as well as I do that it’s likely he’ll get out. He killed two dogs, not people. That doesn’t warrant as stiff a penalty.”

Owl did know. And it sucked.

“Garcia vowed revenge against Raiden and me. It doesn’t matter how many cameras or men I have at my back, or how much time goes by. I know that someday, somehow, he’ll be back. Doesn’t mean I won’t be living my life in the meantime. It simply means he’s always there. In my head. Taking up space. I can’t, and won’t, forget about his threats. But for now? I’m relatively sure I’m safe. That Henley and Jas are safe. As are all of you, my closest friends. That my baby can be born, and he or she will be all right…for now. But the second I get word that he’s been let go or escaped, all bets are off.”

Owl frowned. He didn’t like this for his friend. Not at all.

“Anyway, at least my enemy is behind bars. Lara’s isn’t. He’s out there. Watching. Waiting. He’ll make his move, I have absolutely no doubt about that…and neither does Lara. Men like Grant and Garcia, their hate is who they are. They’re like little kids who had a toy taken away, and so they’re pissed off about it. Don’t let down your guard. Not for a second. And Owl…if she leaves? She’ll do so not because she wants to, or because she thinks she’s safe—but because she wants to keep you safe. And Cora. And everyone else here. That’s how he’ll get her.”

Owl felt nauseous. Grant coming after Lara would be stupid. But Tonka was right. And yes, Lara knew it. It was part of the reason she’d been so worried about being alone. Her time so far on The Refuge was going a long way toward healing her, as was talking with Henley, but ultimately, the threat was still somewhere about an eight out of ten.

If Grant really wanted to get his hands on Lara again, he’d find a way to do so.

“How do I help her move forward?” Owl asked his friend. “How do I encourage her to get her independence back when we all know Grant is still out there waiting for the right moment to get his hands on her again?”

“The first and most obvious thing you can do is make her want to stay,” Tonka said with no hesitation. “Here. With you. She’s not stupid. She knows she’s in danger if she leaves. Why do you think she’s latched onto you? Find a way for her to make a life here. Give her purpose. She can be independent while living with you, Owl.”

He stared at his friend. Was it that obvious how much he loved Lara?

Tonka’s lips twitched. As if he could read his mind, he said, “If you think you’ve hidden how much you care about her, you’re wrong.”

“Shit,” he swore.

Tonka laughed. The man actually laughed. Owl was so surprised to hear the sound come out of his stoic friend’s mouth that he simply stared.

He clapped Owl on the shoulder, then gave him a friendly shove. “If you think I’m going to give you advice on your love life, you’re sadly mistaken. I’m the last guy you should take any kind of relationship advice from.”

“Uh, you’re the one with a wife and a baby on the way,” Owl said dryly. “You think I should ask Brick, who still hasn’t actually gotten married to the woman he loves more than life itself? Or Stone, who I think is allergic to women? Or maybe Tiny, who walks around here scowling at everyone?”

Tonka chuckled again, and Owl was beginning to worry that hell had frozen over. Tonka laughing twice in less than a minute? The equilibrium of the world was definitely off.

“Right. So maybe I do have advice for you.”

Owl realized he was almost holding his breath. He could use all the help he could get because it felt as if he’d been drowning for months. He wanted Lara for his own, but he was also well aware she could do so much better.

“Do what you’re doing.”

Owl blinked. That was it? That was Tonka’s sage advice? “Not sure that’s helpful,” he told his friend.

“The difference from when Lara arrived to now…it’s miraculous,” Tonka said, his tone serious. “She couldn’t let you out of her sight. I bet you were barely able to take a piss without her freaking out in the other room,” he added, ironically repeating Lara’s own words without even realizing. “And now? You’re here. Helping me with this damn fence. And she’s where? With Cora and some of the other girls? That, my friend, is a miracle. So whatever you’re doing…keep doing it. And for the record, she doesn’t look at you like she does me or the rest of the guys. You’re in there. Just be her friend. Support her. Listen to her when she needs to talk. And be exactly who you are. Because, Owl, you’re a hell of a good man.”

Owl could only continue to stare at his friend in surprise. Through all the years he’d known him, he’d never been this…He didn’t even know what the word was. Supportive? Intuitive?

No, that wasn’t fair. Tonka was probably always this way, he’d just been dealing with some pretty heavy shit in his head, just like all the others.

“Thanks,” he said after a moment.

“You’re welcome. Now, this fence isn’t going to build itself. And I have it on good authority that women like when their men are all sweaty and testosterone-y.”

Owl burst into laughter. “Testosterone-y? That’s not a word.”

Tonka shrugged. “So? It’s true. It’s that lumberjack fantasy or something. You go back to your cabin shining with sweat, maybe with your shirt off, and Lara won’t be able to resist you.”

Owl rolled his eyes. “Oh, yeah, smelling like cow shit, covered in dirt, and dripping bodily fluids all over the floor…so attractive.”

Tonka grinned. “You’ve got a lot to learn. Come on, help me fit this post and we can get started on the next hole.”

As Owl reached for the post, he thought about what his friend had said. All of it. He wasn’t sure where he and Lara would end up…but for once, he had a small sliver of hope that maybe he might have a chance with the woman he was madly in love with.

But on the heels of that came the knowledge that Carter Grant was still at large, and as long as he was free, he’d want to get his hands on Lara.

No way in hell was Owl going to allow that to happen. Lara had been through enough; he’d die before he’d allow her to go through that horrible abuse and torture ever again.

* * *

Lara smiled at her friend. They’d spent a quiet and relaxing morning at Owl’s cabin, chatting about easy topics that kept Lara’s mind at ease. Now they were in the cabin Cora shared with Pipe, expecting Alaska, Reese, Ryan, and Luna to arrive in about fifteen minutes. They were going to sit up on the rooftop deck and enjoy the first semi-warm day they’d had in quite a while.

“Pipe and I want to have a simple ceremony here. Upstairs on our deck. Nothing fancy, just us and our officiant.”

“That sounds beautiful. You don’t want something like Henley and Tonka had?”

“No. I mean, their reception in the barn was awesome, but no, being the center of attention like that gives me hives. Remember what a basket case I was when I only had to walk across the stage at graduation? I barely made it through that.”

Cora wasn’t wrong. She had such a bad case of stage fright. Even though all she had to do was walk up three stairs, take five steps, shake the principal’s hand, and go down some stairs back to her seat, it was a miracle she hadn’t tripped and fallen on her face.

“True,” Lara said with a wide grin, remembering that day.

“I’ve missed that,” Cora said.

“What?”

“You. Your effortless smile.”

Lara pressed her lips together in consternation. “I’m sorry,” she blurted.

“For what?” Cora asked.

“For getting mad at you. For yelling. I know you weren’t jealous of me, you’ve never in our entire lives been envious of anything I’ve had. I was a horrible friend, and I don’t deserve you. What you did…selling your stuff, going to that auction, telling off Eleanor Vanlandingham—although I wish I could’ve seen that part. I can’t ever repay you.”

Cora walked over to where Lara was standing and immediately pulled her into a hard hug. Cora was five inches shorter than Lara, but she simply yanked her forward, into her arms, and held on fiercely. “You don’t need to apologize. Like always, I should’ve been more tactful. I knew how much you liked Ridge, I just didn’t trust him.”

“I know. I should’ve listened to you. And for the record, not that it mattered, I did already have my doubts about our relationship. My rose-colored glasses were fading. I just…I thought that maybe if I went to Arizona with him, if we got away from DC and all the stress I thought he was under, he’d realize how amazing we were together. I never meant to leave for good. It was just supposed to be for a little while.”

Cora pulled back and held onto Lara’s arms as she stared up at her. “I’m sorry.”

“What on earth do you have to be sorry for?” Lara asked with a frown.

“That it took so long to get to you. I met with the police and your parents, and they didn’t believe me. I even spoke with some private detectives, but I obviously don’t have the right connections because they all felt like scammers to me. Wanted payment up front…and I’m not gullible enough to fall for that. When I read about the guys from The Refuge, and researched them, I had a feeling they were your best chance. There was always the risk that they wouldn’t want to get involved. I mean, it’s not like they were hiring themselves out to track down kidnapped girlfriends, but I was desperate.”

“You did good,” Lara told her best friend. “But I’m still mad at you,” she said as sternly as she could.

“What? Why? For what?”

“Your name is on my bank account. Why in the world would you not use my money to hire them? You sold all your stuff, Cora! That was stupid.”

Instead of getting upset, Cora simply smiled. “Yeah, but it made it much easier to move in with Pipe. You know, I didn’t have all that stuff to move. I think it ended up being, what, like three boxes of stuff that had to be packed up and mailed out here?”

Lara rolled her eyes. “Whatever.”

“I’d do anything for you, Lara. I love you so much, you have no idea.”

“I love you back,” Lara told her, trying not to cry.

“Right, so we have like two seconds before the others get here and I want to ask you something.”

“Yes,” Lara said.

Cora rolled her eyes. “You don’t know what I’m going to ask.”

“Doesn’t matter. I’ll do it.”

“So you’ll go skydiving with me?”

Lara winced. “Ummmm.” They both knew Lara wasn’t a fan of heights. And jumping out of a perfectly good airplane? That was a hard no for her.

Luckily, Cora chuckled. “I’m kidding. I’d never ask you to do that. Will you stand up for me and Pipe when we get married?”

Lara blinked in surprise. “I thought you said that you just wanted it to be you and Pipe and whoever was marrying you.”

“I did. But you’re my family. The only person I had on my side until I met Pipe and moved here. I literally didn’t have anyone else. You gave me money, a place to live, and more importantly, you were my friend. You didn’t care how standoffish I was when we met, or how many times I quit or lost a job. You just loved me for me. You’ll never know how much that meant to me, how much it still means. I can’t imagine getting married without you being there.”

“But…what does Pipe think about that? I mean, is he going to have any of his friends there?”

“Who do you think suggested I ask you?” Cora replied.

Lara closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

“Please say yes. And Pipe and I talked about it, and if you want Owl there, he’d be more than okay with that too.”

Lara’s eyes opened. “Your simple ceremony with just the two of you is growing awfully fast. Next thing you know, all the guys, and Alaska, Henley, Reese, and all the other women who work here will be there too, and the ceremony will be in the lodge with Robert making a five-layer wedding cake, and dancing lumberjacks or something.”

Cora laughed. “No way. Just the man I love, my best friend, and the guy marrying us.”

“I’m confused. I thought you just said you’d be okay with Owl being there too.”

“Pipe thought maybe Owl could get ordained. Or approved. Or whatever it’s called. That maybe he could marry us. He did some research, and in New Mexico, it only costs like fifty bucks and he can do it all online.”

“Have you guys asked him?”

“Not yet. I wanted to get your approval first.”

“My approval?” Lara exclaimed. “Cora, it’s your wedding.”

“And you’re my best friend. And you’re the reason I met Pipe in the first place. The reason I’m here. And…I know you’re more comfortable with Owl around. Please?”

Lara was overwhelmed. She loved her friend so damn much. She owed her everything. And the thought that she wanted her at her wedding? It meant the world to her. Especially when she’d come so close to losing her. To losing everything. “Of course I’ll be there. I’d be honored.”

“Yay!” Cora said with a huge smile. She leaned in and gave Lara a shorter but no less heartfelt hug, then hurried over to the counter where she’d left her phone earlier.

“I’m sending Pipe a text to let him know it’s a go. He’ll be thrilled.”

Lara couldn’t help but feel excitement race through her. It was both a foreign feeling and a huge relief. She’d been riddled with little else but fear and dread for so long, it almost felt as if she was back to the Lara she’d been before. “When are you guys planning this?”

Cora smiled but didn’t look up from the phone as her thumbs raced over the screen. “As soon as we can. Owl needs to get the online certificate and we need to apply for our wedding license, but then it’s a go.”

“Will the other guys be upset? Feel left out? Or the other women?” Lara asked in concern.

“Nope. They already know we’re planning something small and intimate. As long as we let Robert make us a special dinner up at the lodge, and they can all be at that, they’re fine. I already talked to Alaska about it.”

Lara bit her lip. “Are you sure? I mean, I wouldn’t want anyone to be offended.”

A knock on the door had Lara jerking in surprise and fear, spinning toward the sound.

“It’s them. And just to reassure you, we’ll ask first,” Cora said as she headed for the door. “Pipe said he’ll talk to Owl today. I’m thinking it’s gonna be within the week.”

“So soon?” Lara exclaimed, more to herself than her friend.

Cora paused before she opened the door and looked at Lara. “When you know, you know. Isn’t that what you always said? Pipe is the man for me. The only guy I’ll ever love. It’s as if my entire being came to life when I met him. It’s going to be fine. For both of us, Lara. I know it.”

Lara contemplated her friend’s words as she confirmed who was at the door, then opened it to greet the other women. It was kind of funny. Cora was the jaded one between them. The one who hated watching romantic movies. She always said she was allergic to romance. And here she was, getting married first, something she’d always said she didn’t want. And Lara couldn’t be happier for her.

And now she was the jaded one. The one who may no longer believe in happy-ever-after. Despite the fact she was surrounded by them here at The Refuge. With Brick and Alaska, Henley and Tonka, Reese and Spike. And now Cora and Pipe.

“Lara! It’s so good to see you!” Alaska said happily as she walked toward her.

She greeted the others as well, reveling in the honest affection they all expressed when they saw she was there.

Within ten minutes, the six of them were settled on the deck on top of the house. Lara was sitting with Cora on the love seat Pipe had bought so his woman would be more comfortable when they spent time stargazing up there. Reese and Ryan were in lounge chairs, and Reese joked that she was never leaving, it was so comfortable. And Alaska and Luna were sitting on thick blankets placed on the floor, their backs leaning up against the love seat.

It felt intimate, not only because the deck wasn’t all that big, but because if Lara reached out, she could touch not only Cora, but Alaska and Luna as well.

“This is an amazing space,” Alaska said when their nonstop chatter paused about fifteen minutes later.

“And you can’t even see it from the front of the cabin,” Reese agreed.

“I’m getting married up here,” Cora blurted.

“We know, you told us,” Alaska said with a grin.

“Owl is gonna marry us, and Lara’s gonna be here. Afterward, we’ll go to the lodge and have a huge dinner.”

“Sounds awesome.”

“Good plan.”

“I can’t wait to see what my dad will plan for you guys.”

“Cool.”

Lara looked over at Cora and had to smile when she mouthed told you.

“Lara was worried you guys would be upset that I asked her to be there,” Cora said.

Lara shot a frown at her best friend, but Cora wasn’t looking at her.

“I don’t know why. You guys are best friends, have known each other forever,” Ryan said. Lara swore she heard a note of wistfulness in the other woman’s tone, but Reese spoke before she could think any more about it.

“Owl’s gonna marry you?” she asked.

“Hopefully. I mean, Pipe hasn’t asked him yet, but he’ll do that today,” Cora said.

“That’s cool,” Reese said.

And that was all they had to say about that. No one seemed to have any issue with missing the actual ceremony. And they didn’t seem to care that Lara and Owl would get to be there and they wouldn’t.

Conversation turned to Jasna’s rapidly dwindling school year, some of Ryan’s funnier housekeeping stories, and how many months out The Refuge was currently booked.

“When are we expecting the first round of guests with kids, again?” Reese asked.

Lara looked over at Alaska in surprise. She hadn’t heard that The Refuge was going to start allowing kids.

“We’ve got our first trial in just two weeks. And you know what…we filled those spaces in two days. Not that it’s a surprise in the least; there are plenty of people with kids who could benefit from a place like this. I get why the guys didn’t allow children before now, but I’m also excited to see how it goes,” Alaska said with a smile.

“Is there anything special planned?”

“Well, not really. We’ve got the hikes like usual, and we thought we’d do two bonfires that week instead of just one,” Alaska said.

Lara felt Cora’s eyes on her, and she turned to look at her friend.

“Uh-oh, what’s that look for?” Luna asked.

“What look?” Reese asked, glancing at Luna.

“Cora just gave Lara a look like this…” Luna mimicked Cora by opening her eyes wide and wiggling her eyebrows.

Everyone laughed.

“Seriously, what? You don’t think that’s good?” Alaska asked.

“It’s not that…” Cora hedged.

“Spit it out. You’re one of us now. If The Refuge crashes and burns, you’ll be homeless right along with the rest of us,” Reese teased.

“I just…Lara and I have been around tons of kids. Granted, they’ve all been preschool age, but they’re bundles of energy. We have activities planned for practically every minute of the day that they’re in school. I think you’re going to need more than just hiking and a bonfire to entertain them,” Cora said tentatively.

Lara one hundred percent agreed with her. The first day being on The Refuge property would be a novelty, and the kids would probably be fine getting the lay of the land and visiting the animals in the barn. But after that, they’d need to be entertained. Especially if single parents were involved, and Henley was going to be meeting with them in therapy sessions. Someone would have to watch the kids.

“Shoot. I mean, I suppose we could come up with something,” Alaska said, looking at Reese with a worried expression on her face.

“Don’t look at me,” Reese said immediately, holding up her hands. “I mean, my morning sickness has gotten better, but now I’m super tired all the time. It’s annoying. I’d hate to fall asleep while entertaining the kids and have them run amok as a result.”

“I could ask my dad if maybe we could do a cookie-making and decorating thing,” Luna volunteered.

“I’d help, but I think Carly, Jess, and I are going to be extra busy with all the housekeeping stuff that having more people in each cabin will bring. Brick already warned us, and told us we’d be making more per hour as a result, which none of us complained about,” Ryan said with a shrug.

“Crap. All right, I’ll get with Brick tonight and see what we can come up with,” Alaska said, but her brow was furrowed and she looked worried.

“I can help,” Cora said. “I mean, before I came here, I worked every day with kids. If you send me the ages of who will be here, I’m sure I can come up with some activities. I’ll need a room in the lodge, though. And things could get messy. And depending on the age range, it could get hectic because, you know, I’d want to make things age appropriate. Can’t have ten-year-olds making macaroni necklaces and can’t have three-year-olds trying to do diamond painting.”

“But we could modify the size of the diamonds,” Lara blurted. “We could use small beads for the older kids and buttons for the littles. We could even use the same pictures, just modify them so they’re age appropriate.”

Lara felt all five women’s gazes on her, but she kept her eyes glued to Cora’s.

“If Robert would help, we could do gingerbread decorating. I mean, not with a holiday theme, but just regular houses,” Cora agreed.

“Depending on how many kids there are, maybe we could have a sleepover in the lodge, to give the parents a break. We could make blanket tents and forts,” Lara said.

“Movie night, although that might be more difficult if the kids are too far apart in ages,” Cora mused.

“We could let them choose what movie they wanted; kids love having a say over what they’re doing.”

“Scavenger hunt where they have to do things like find a perfect leaf, make a rubbing, pick up a unique rock.”

“Sidewalk chalk.”

“Put on some sort of play for their parents.”

“Make bookmarks.”

“Dance party.”

“Pool noodle boats.”

“Glitter glow-fairy jars.”

The two women threw ideas back and forth. All things they’d done before at the preschool in DC.

“Seriously? You guys would be willing to help?” Alaska asked when she could get a word in.

Lara realized that she’d kind of gone into some sort of tunnel vision. So many memories swamped her. She’d loved her job. Loved the children she worked with. It had been so long since she’d even thought about her kids.

“Lara?” Cora asked quietly.

Taking a deep breath, Lara turned to Alaska. “Yeah. I’d be happy to pitch in.”

“Thank God!” Reese breathed.

“You too, Cora?” Alaska insisted.

Cora’s eyes narrowed. “Why do I have the feeling your mind is going a mile a minute?” she asked suspiciously.

“Because it is?” Alaska said with a smile. “Don’t be mad, but living here is like the smallest small town. Pipe said something to Spike, who told Tiny, who told Brick. Word is that you’re restless. You aren’t sure where you fit in. What you can do here to earn your keep. But the thing is, you don’t have to do a damn thing. If you want to sit on your tush every day up here on this amazing deck, you can. No one expects you to work. This place is a well-oiled machine. I lucked out when I got here because the admin assistant had just quit. I just happened to do what they needed. And Henley, of course, already worked here.”

“I kind of flit around and help out where I can,” Reese said. “I’m taking Spanish classes so we can serve a broader community of people. My brother’s wife helps with that, she calls me every day and refuses to speak English with me, so I’ve been picking it up faster than I probably would otherwise.”

“And of course, we already have housekeepers, landscapers, an accountant, and Luna helps her dad in the kitchen,” Alaska added. “So there’s not much else that we need around here that isn’t already being done. But if we’re seriously considering opening this place for kids for designated weeks, we clearly need help coming up with activities for those kids and implementing them. I hadn’t thought about it enough, obviously, so we also need more of an organized plan. So…I was thinking you could try it out this first time. See if you like it. If you don’t, that’s okay, we can hire someone from town to be our kid coordinator. But if you do like it…”

Alaska’s voice trailed off hopefully.

“I’m not…I mean, I’m good with kids, but I’m not good at being in charge. I never have been,” Cora said. “But Lara…”

Everyone turned to look at her, and Lara stilled. She wasn’t sure what to say or do.

“You’re freaking her out,” Ryan said firmly. “She’s helping Cora with this first group, but that’s it. No pressure, right, Alaska?”

“Right,” Alaska said without hesitation. “And I’m sure Brick and the others will pay both of you. They don’t expect anyone to work for free around here.”

“They all do,” Cora said with a small laugh.

“No, they don’t,” Reese countered. “They have their cabins, and utilities, and food. That’s basically their payment. Sure, they work their butts off to make this place a home, not only for the guests who come, but for themselves and their families too.”

“You’re right,” Alaska said with a nod.

“Okay, valid point,” Cora conceded.

Lara felt a little overwhelmed. She was both excited and terrified at the same time. She loved The Refuge. It had become her safe place, even if she never thought that she’d stay long-term.

But deep down, she knew that was a lie. With every day that passed, she couldn’t imagine leaving. When she’d first arrived, she’d wanted nothing more than to hide out somewhere remote. Now, the thought of being alone, vulnerable, scared the crap out of her. And going back to DC wasn’t appealing at all. She loved her job at the preschool, but not enough to go back to the city. While she still didn’t want anyone else getting hurt because of her, she couldn’t deny that having others around was a comfort.

And not just anyone…Owl and his friends. They’d more than proven that when shit hit the fan, they’d do whatever it took to eliminate the problem. With Alaska and Jasna, when Reese was taken to the border, with Lara’s situation in Arizona.

“I’ll get with Lara and we’ll come up with a plan,” Cora told the others. “We’ll have a lesson plan of sorts for the week and give it to Brick for approval. That work?”

“Absolutely,” Alaska and Reese said together.

“Now, can we talk about what you want for your wedding dinner?” Luna asked. “I know my dad is gonna be in panic mode when he hears, and he’ll want to know as soon as possible what to make.”

Lara tuned out the others as they talked about different foods. She glanced down at her watch and saw it was almost one o’clock. She hadn’t seen Owl in five hours…and suddenly, her skin began to get itchy. She felt restless steal over her.

Looking out over the railing on the deck, trying to reclaim her calm, all she saw was trees. Something moved in the distance, and she stiffened. Was that a shadow? Was it Carter? Was he watching her? Planning?

Anxiety ramped up inside her and in a flash, all she could think about was getting to Owl. He’d keep her safe. Had done so in the past. Had stood between her and the evil that was the man who’d hurt her.

“Lara?”

She heard Cora say her name as if from a distance, but she couldn’t seem to focus. Closing her eyes didn’t help. The dark made things scarier. She opened her eyes again and frantically looked around the area. Was Carter moving in even now?

She hated this! Knew she was panicking but couldn’t seem to control it. She’d thought she was doing so much better. Had felt so confident in being with Cora at her house. But she was falling apart at the seams and didn’t know how to stop the downward spiral. One second she was fine, and the next she wasn’t.

Cora scooted over and put her hand on Lara’s thigh. “You’re okay, Lara. I promise. You’re safe.”

But she wasn’t! Lara was sure of that. Carter was out there. Waiting. And he wouldn’t hesitate to hurt anyone who stood between him and what he wanted.

“He’s coming.”

Lara heard Ryan say the words, but she interpreted them far differently than the woman probably meant.

He was coming. Carter was coming. And the only person who could protect her was Owl. And he wasn’t here! She was alone. Again. And it was only a matter of time before Carter was touching her, doing those awful things…

Without thought, Lara jumped up and frantically brushed off the hands that were trying to comfort her, backing into a corner of the deck and crouching, putting her arms over her head. Doing her best to protect herself from what she knew was coming.

But it was no use. She couldn’t get away!

“Shit! Ryan, you texted him?”

“He’s on his way. He’ll be here in two minutes.”

“What do we do?”

“Give her some space.”

“Should we cover her with a blanket?”

“No, don’t touch her.”

“I wish Henley was here!”

“Me too.”

Lara heard the conversation between the women around her, but it was as if she was at the end of a very long, dark tunnel. She couldn’t focus. Couldn’t do anything but wait for the inevitable. A small part of her was ashamed of acting so pitiful. Wanted to get up and fight. But what was the use? Carter was stronger. He’d overpower her like he did before and hurt her in the process. It was better to be submissive. Docile.

A spark of anger lit in her belly. Why? Why should she make things easy for him? She should fight! Like Cora had. She’d hurt the man—badly. Had stuck her finger in his eye. Why couldn’t she be like her friend?

The thoughts ricocheted around her head, making Lara nauseous. She wanted to move, to do something to help herself, but she was frozen. Frozen in fear. In indecision.

“I’m here.”

Two words. But instead of hearing his voice…she heard Owl’s. Lara would know his voice anywhere. She lifted her head but still couldn’t focus. She whimpered in fear.

“I’ve got you.” The same time those words were spoken, Lara felt herself being lifted onto Owl’s lap. She snuggled into him as close as she could get—and it wasn’t enough. She wanted to lose herself in him. Make herself one with the man. With him there, she was safe. He’d make sure Carter didn’t hurt her again.

“We didn’t know what to do.”

“Is she okay? Should I call Henley?”

“Maybe we should call an ambulance.”

“Give us a minute,” Owl said calmly, his voice rumbling through Lara. The more he spoke, the more the blackness in her eyes receded. The more she came back to herself and her surroundings.

“We’ll go downstairs. But if you need us, yell,” Cora said.

“I will. Thank you.”

“No, thank you,” Cora countered. Then said, “Come on, you guys, let’s give them some space.”

Lara wanted to thank her friend. For understanding. For knowing she didn’t want everyone staring at her.

“You’re okay,” Owl crooned as he rocked back and forth with Lara in his lap. “You’re safe. You’re here at The Refuge. I’ve got you.”

His words were a balm to her soul. And Lara was both relieved and embarrassed.

“Owl,” she whispered.

“That’s right. It’s me. I’m here. You’re good. Take a deep breath. Another. Good.”

With every breath, Lara’s muscles relaxed. Humiliation replaced the fear in her veins. “Oh, God, I’m sorry. I didn’t—”

“Five hours,” Owl said, interrupting her.

“What?” she asked in confusion, not lifting her head.

“Five hours. You went five full hours without needing to see me. That’s amazing, sweetheart.”

She snorted. “Five hours. Big deal,” she said sarcastically.

“It is a big deal,” Owl insisted. “It wasn’t too long ago when it was about twenty seconds.”

“You’ve got a big boil on your butt and you’re happy you can get rid of it for a measly five hours,” Lara complained.

Owl chuckled, and she felt his chest move under her. She was sitting across his lap, her legs to the side but her torso turned toward him, her arms curled against his chest and her head buried in his neck. She had the thought that she probably looked ridiculous.

“But it’s my boil, and I have no problem with it,” he retorted.

Taking another deep breath, and soaking in more of Owl’s scent, she realized he wasn’t exactly shower fresh. It wasn’t that she minded his sweaty smell, it was just new. Picking up her head, she looked at him for the first time. His hair was wet around the temples, his cheeks were pink from working in the sun…and if she wasn’t mistaken, his shirt was on backward and was damp with sweat.

He lifted a hand and placed it on her cheek, and Lara gave him some of the weight of her head. “You back?” he asked.

“Yeah. I’m sorry.”

“Nope. As I said before. Five hours, honey. Henley told you this isn’t going to be a fast process. You aren’t going to wake up one day and want to move into your own place. And I’m perfectly okay with that. Cut yourself some slack. You want to talk about what happened? What triggered you?”

“Honestly? I don’t know. One second I was sitting here, enjoying talking with the others, and the next, I saw shadows in the trees and that was it.”

Owl nodded solemnly.

“I didn’t mean to take you away from what you were doing.”

Owl’s lips twitched. “Honestly? I’m glad you did. Digging postholes and putting in a fence isn’t exactly my idea of a good time.”

Lara appreciated him trying to make her feel better.

“What do you think about Cora and Pipe’s wedding ceremony?”

She blinked at him. “You already know about that?”

“Are you kidding? Cora texted Pipe, who came out to the barn and told me—not asked, mind you, but told me—that I needed to get my ass in gear and visit the website he was going to email me and get ordained so he could get his ring on Cora’s finger sooner rather than later.”

It was hard to believe she was smiling so soon after all the horrible things she’d imagined, but if anyone could make her do it, it was this man.

“And you’re going to do it?”

“Of course I am.” Then he frowned. “What was that thought?”

“You know you sound like Henley, right?”

But Owl’s expression didn’t loosen. “Don’t care. What put that worried look on your face?”

“I just…are you doing it because you think I’m going to have another freak-out if you aren’t here? Ruin their ceremony?”

If anything, Owl looked even fiercer after her question. “You aren’t going to ruin anything. And I’m going to marry one of my best friends because I’ve never been more honored to do anything in my life. I’ve always felt a little like an outcast here. Stone has too. We’re all close, but helicopter pilots are a different breed than SEALs and Deltas. We’re like the nerdy little brothers. To know Pipe respects me enough to want me to participate in his wedding? It’s an honor. And having you there is icing on the cake. For me and Cora.”

“I don’t know what to wear.” It was the first safe thing Lara could think to say, especially when her feelings for this man suddenly seemed confusing and jumbled.

Owl smiled. Then a chuckle left his lips. “I’m sure we’ll figure it out.”

“Owl?”

“Yeah, sweetheart?”

“When I thought he was coming…I was so scared. I gave up. But then a part of me got mad as hell.”

“That’s good.”

Lara stared into his eyes. She wanted to believe him. So badly. But she felt so messed up in her head. She wasn’t sure what to believe anymore. What to think.

“And Henley will tell you the same thing when you talk to her tomorrow.”

Lara had forgotten that she’d arranged for another session with the therapist the next day.

“And you know what else?”

“What?” Lara whispered.

“I think it’s time you participated in those self-defense lessons again. But maybe just with The Refuge staff first. You’ll feel more comfortable with people you know around you.”

Lara closed her eyes. She didn’t deserve this man. She’d made stupid decisions and somehow they’d led to this moment. It didn’t make sense, and a part of her felt guilty. But another part didn’t care. She would enjoy being here for as long as it lasted.

“Okay.”

“Okay,” he confirmed with a nod. Then he did something that changed Lara’s world forever.

He leaned forward and kissed her forehead.

His warm lips lingered, as if he was memorizing the moment as desperately as Lara.

It struck her then—she’d thought about this moment for so long. About being in Owl’s arms. He’d touched her plenty in the last few months, but she’d longed to feel…more. To have his arms around her not in a quick, platonic hug, but in an intimate embrace. Even though this wasn’t exactly how she’d imagined it happening, it felt amazing. So right.

And his lips on her skin? Heaven.

Being with him like this, surrounded by his scent, feeling the warmth of his body against her own…she’d never felt safer.

Lara peeked up at him shyly, and saw a look of satisfaction on Owl’s face. It seemed that he was just as happy to have her in his lap as she was to be there.

He pulled back and smiled at her.

“Let’s get you downstairs. You can reassure everyone that you’re okay. Then we’ll go home and I’ll take a shower and we’ll find something to watch on TV. That sound okay?”

“Do you think we can get some lunch somewhere along the way? I’m hungry.”

It was such a mundane thing to say, but for some reason it felt momentous. Probably because for the last couple of months, she’d never admitted when she was hungry. She’d eaten, but only when Owl or someone else suggested it was time.

“Yeah, I think we can do that. You want me to ask Robert for something, or have me make grilled cheese sandwiches?”

“With tomatoes and pickles?” she asked with a small smile. Deep down, the blackness and ugliness that was Carter Grant lingered, but she was determined to push that, him, to the recesses of her mind. She’d have to deal with him one day…but that day wasn’t today.

Owl wrinkled his nose. “If you want.”

Lara smiled. He hated pickles, and putting them on a sandwich was completely gross in his opinion. But he’d do it for her.

“I want,” she told him.

“Right, then that’s what you’ll get. Can you stand?”

“Of course.” But when she got to her feet, Lara found she was a little wobbly. Owl’s arm went around her waist a second later, supporting her. He led her to the stairs and insisted on going down first—and backward, holding onto her the entire way.

Lara was a little embarrassed when she first went into Cora’s cabin to say goodbye, but her friends quickly made her feel more at ease.

It wasn’t until later that night, when it was dark outside and she was sitting on the couch under a fluffy blanket, her feet in Owl’s lap, and they were binge-watching a show about the British royal family, that Lara thought more about what had happened that day.

Her best friend was getting married, wanted Lara there, she’d gone five hours without the need to have Owl within sight, she’d agreed to help Cora entertain the kids coming to stay at The Refuge in a couple of weeks, and she felt as if she was getting closer and closer to the other women who lived and worked on the property. And not superficial friendships either. The concern on their faces after Owl had brought her down from the deck had been real.

And it felt good. Really good.

Yes, she’d had a flashback, and it was a bad one. But she couldn’t shake that feeling of anger that had welled up deep down. Even if she’d planned to give up, to let Carter do whatever he was going to do, that small spark of fury gave her hope. It was the same feeling she’d had after finding that piece of metal she’d hidden under the mattress.

She wasn’t there yet, but maybe in the future she’d be able to do more than just freeze when Carter finally made his move. She might not win, might not be able to get away from him or prevent him from hurting her, but just knowing that her psyche might be ready to fight for what she was building here at The Refuge, made her feel like a different person than the Lara Osler who’d naively flown to Arizona with a man she hadn’t even loved.