Chapter 4

CHAPTERFOUR

“Pull up! Bank right! Higher! Oh, shit!”

Lara did her best to follow Owl’s directions, but it was no use. The chopper went into a flat spin and she flinched when the screen turned red.

She pushed the goggles up onto her forehead and sat back on the couch, letting the joystick drop to the cushion. “Let’s face it. I suck at this. I’m not coordinated enough to use the pedals at the same time as the joystick and the other thingy.”

Owl chuckled. “It’s only been a week. Give yourself some slack.”

Seven days had gone by since their first walk out to Table Rock. Since then, a lot had changed in Lara’s life.

She was still scared out of her mind that Carter Grant would appear out of nowhere and snatch her away, but she now wanted her life back more than ever. She missed her old self. Not that the old Lara was all that exciting, but at least she wasn’t a hermit who refused to go outside.

What gave Carter the right to mess up her life the way he had? Why did he think it was okay to abuse her and scare the crap out of her? It wasn’t right and it wasn’t fair. And this week, for the first time, she got mad. At the situation. At Carter. At how unfair life was.

In addition to that first stirring of anger within her, she’d gone hiking every morning with Owl, eaten at least one meal up at the lodge each day, and had gone over to Pipe and Cora’s cabin and sat on their rooftop deck with her best friend—while Pipe and Owl actually visited inside.

She was taking baby-steps to reclaim her life.

She’d even attended a self-defense session that Pipe ran, but that hadn’t gone as well. She’d left early, memories coming too close to the surface while she’d listened to Pipe talk about hand-to-hand fighting. She might’ve been out of her mind with fear and the drugs coursing through her system at the time, but she’d seen the brutal fight between Pipe, Owl, and Carter.

She wanted to try the self-defense lessons again…but not quite yet.

While she’d hoped to wean herself off her dependence on Owl, that was going slowly as well. Just a few days ago, he’d gone down to the barn to help Tonka with the animals, and a strange sound against one of the windows of the cabin had Lara retreating under her bed in the guest room, where she’d had a full-blown panic attack.

Owl had almost lost it when he’d returned and couldn’t find her. He was two seconds away from calling all the guys to tell them that she’d disappeared when she’d managed to find the courage to crawl partway out from under the bed and call his name. It turned out to be a stray branch that was hitting the window and making the noise, but it had shown Lara that, despite some milestones this week, she still wasn’t very far along in her recovery.

To her relief—and confusion—Owl didn’t seem to mind that she was still using him as a crutch. He never made her feel bad for needing him nearby. The more time she spent with him, the more Lara’s shields lowered with the man. He was everything she used to want…considerate, patient, attentive, and he definitely spoiled her.

After the panic attack, she’d been forced to admit to herself…she was falling for him. But she knew a deeper relationship was doomed to fail. There was no way he’d want to be with someone so needy. He deserved a woman who could stand by him when life went sideways. Not someone who would climb under a bed and hide because a freaking branch was banging against a window. He was an honest-to-God hero, and she was…not.

But while she was here, she selfishly decided to soak up every ounce of friendship and support he was willing to give. Eventually, he’d get sick of being her crutch and she’d have to figure out what to do, but for now, she was going to enjoy the feeling of safety that Owl provided.

Well, as safe as she could feel with a serial killer out there, looking for her.

It was literally only a matter of time before he returned, and while Lara didn’t ever want to see him again, she had to prepare herself for that eventuality. What other choice did she have? Roll over and give up? She wanted to say that she’d fight, but honestly, she wasn’t sure what she’d do. She only knew that if it came down to Carter taking her or hurting her new friends, she’d choose the former every time.

“You go again,” she told Owl, shoving the controllers at him and pushing the pedals toward his feet. “I love watching you fly. You make it look so easy.”

“It is easy…when you know what you’re doing,” he said with a small smirk.

Lara rolled her eyes. She’d believed him the first time she’d tried the simulator. But when she’d crashed about two seconds after the chopper got in the air, she realized Owl was simply that good, that he made it seem effortless.

He took the controllers and handed over his tablet. There was an app on it that allowed her to see what he was seeing as he went through the simulations. He put the goggles over his eyes and adjusted the difficulty level from beginner to advanced, then the chopper lifted off the ground.

Lara watched in awe as he maneuvered around mountaintops while being shot at from the ground. He managed to pick up a team of Navy SEALs who were pinned down by enemy fire and then lift off and fly out of the mountain canyon as if he was on a pleasure cruise, rather than a simulated life-or-death flight.

A few nights ago, Stone came over with his own equipment and the two men flew together. It was even more impressive than Owl flying through the simulations on his own. Their respective choppers flew so close to each other, she was sure their rotor blades would hit, but they skillfully flew side-by-side without issue.

They’d talked just a little about their flight from Ridge’s house in Arizona. How horrible the conditions were with the wind and sand. How it reminded them of some of their missions in the Middle East…except back then, they didn’t have a crappy helicopter to deal with.

It was several minutes into their discussion when Owl turned to her with an anguished look on his face. “I’m sorry. We weren’t thinking. We shouldn’t be talking about this in front of you.”

She’d been able to reassure them both that since she’d been unconscious at that point in her rescue, talking about the flight wasn’t bringing back any bad memories.

The truth was, she was fascinated by hearing them talk. Stone and Owl were obviously extremely skilled pilots, and she felt thankful that they’d both been there to get her away from the house. Without them, the outcome would’ve been a lot different.

Lara watched as Owl’s hands easily maneuvered the joysticks. He had long fingers, and she loved how they felt around hers as they took their walks in the morning, even though they were both wearing gloves. Spring in the mountains of New Mexico was turning out to be unusually chilly this year, according to Owl.

“Watch and learn,” he joked, jerking Lara out of the daydream she’d fallen into.

She looked down at the tablet and saw Owl was flying his simulated chopper over the ocean. The waves were mean looking, yet Owl was skimming the surface without any issues whatsoever.

“The key is to move with the motion of the waves,” he said as he deftly maneuvered the helicopter.

Lara shook her head as, once again, he made operating such a huge machine look like child’s play. She smiled as Owl continued to fly the simulator. He was obviously in his element. Intellectually, while she’d already known he had to be a very good helicopter pilot, and had participated in many dangerous missions while in the Army, it didn’t hit home how good he was until the first time he’d demonstrated the simulator.

True, the simulation wasn’t a real chopper, but the ease with which he handled the joysticks and the small smile on his face as he “flew” made Lara understand that this man was born to fly. It clearly made him happy and helped calm him. She had no idea how he’d survived being a POW without being in the air.

She had no stake in what happened at The Refuge, but she was very glad the owners were seriously considering buying a chopper.

“…you think?”

Lara blinked—and realized she’d missed Owl’s question.

“I’m sorry, what?”

The helicopter on the tablet suddenly stopped in midair and fell like a stone into the ocean. Looking at Owl, she saw he’d shoved the goggles onto his forehead, and he had an expression of concern on his face. “You okay?” he asked.

“Uh…yeah? Owl, you crashed.”

The teasing smile he gave her made tingles shoot down to her toes. “Good thing it’s just a simulation, huh?”

Lara shook her head in exasperation.

“You thinking about your session with Henley later today?” Owl asked gently.

Honestly, Lara hadn’t thought too much about it at all. But now that Owl had brought it up, she frowned. “I’m not sure talking with her is gonna work.”

He was shaking his head before she’d finished speaking. “Your first session went really well.”

Lara snorted. Honest-to-God snorted. She ignored the way Owl’s lips twitched. “Right,” she said sarcastically. “I was a hot mess. Henley did most of the talking.”

“The first time I met with a psychologist at the hospital in Germany, after I was rescued? Before all the crying…I tried to punch him,” Owl said lazily.

Lara gasped and her eyes got huge. “You did not!” she said after a moment.

“I did,” Owl replied. “I was angry at just about everything and everyone. I didn’t appreciate him digging, wanting me to tell him every little thing that happened to me.”

“Did you get in trouble?” Lara asked worriedly.

“Nope. I was still weak as shit from my captivity and the guy subdued me in seconds. He actually praised me, said being able to get my emotions out was a good thing, even if it was just physically, and if I wanted to go head-to-head with him, he’d be more than willing to meet me in the gym and let me box it out.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah. He was amazing. He ended up being the catalyst to my recovery. I only knew him for about two weeks before Stone and I were finally cleared to head back to the States, but I still email him every now and then and let him know how I’m doing. All I’m getting at is that things are usually awkward at first. You need to learn that you can trust Henley, that she’s on your side, and that takes time.”

Lara pressed her lips together. It wasn’t that she thought Henley didn’t want to help her; it was more than obvious the other woman was empathetic and probably very good at her job. But just like Owl, the last thing Lara wanted to do was rehash what she’d been through. What Carter had done and said to her while she’d been mostly out of it because of the drugs he’d forced her to take.

Just thinking of the drugs made Lara uneasy. She ran her suddenly sweaty palms up and down her thighs.

Owl reached over and took one of her hands in his. It was one of the very few times he’d touched her without first asking her permission, or letting her choose to take his hand or not. And the feel of his bare fingers in hers felt instantly calming.

“Cut yourself some slack, sweetheart. It hasn’t been that long at all. But…if you really don’t want to keep your second appointment with Henley, I’m not going to force you. No one will force you to do anything you don’t want to.”

The fact that he was giving her an out made Lara’s spine straighten. She’d never been a quitter in her life, and she really didn’t want to start now.

Then she thought of her best friend, and how much Cora had been through in her life…how she kept on chugging along. That was even more incentive to get her to shake her head. “I want to. I…want to get better.” That in itself was a revelation for Owl, she knew. Because for a while there, she’d proven herself unwilling to do much of anything. Had been content to hide and not talk to anyone.

But she had to admit, the more she got out and about on The Refuge, the more she wanted to. “You’ll still come with me, right?” she asked tentatively.

“Of course,” Owl said, squeezing her fingers before finally letting go.

Lara felt the loss of his warmth down to her toes, but she forced herself to lean back on the couch as if it didn’t impact her.

“You want to try again?” Owl asked, taking off the 3D goggles and holding them out to her.

“I’m not sure I’ll ever get the hang of this,” she said with a grimace, but she reached for the goggles anyway.

“You will,” he said firmly. “It just takes practice.”

She watched as he switched the difficulty level back to beginner and took the controllers from him with a sigh.

“All right, slow and steady,” Owl said.

Lara thought that could probably be a motto for her entire life. She’d always moved cautiously—except for one time. With Ridge and her move to Arizona. And that certainly hadn’t worked out very well.

Forcing her mind away from the colossal bad decision she’d made, Lara concentrated on trying not to crash the simulated helicopter.

* * *

She shouldn’t have had so much for lunch.

That was the only thing Lara could think as she sat across from Henley.

After she’d crashed the fake chopper a few more times, Owl had called it quits and they’d headed up to the lodge for lunch. She’d sat at a table with a woman who’d been stalked by a co-worker for months. He’d recently been killed in a confrontation with the police, right outside her front door. The woman admitted that she still wasn’t able to go about her normal activities without looking over her shoulder, and every time her doorbell rang, she had flashbacks.

There were also two former military men at the table, and while Lara didn’t know their stories—as they didn’t volunteer any information about why they were at The Refuge—she could see that they were hyper-aware of everything around them and anyone who walked into the room.

Kind of like Owl and his friends. She hadn’t missed the way Owl’s head was constantly on a swivel, how he scrutinized each and every person who walked into the lodge. For some reason, that comforted her. She could let down her guard, just a little, while she was with him out in public. That was why she’d latched onto him so desperately when she’d left that house in Arizona. Even while heavily drugged, a part of her knew he’d never let anyone hurt her.

Henley cleared her throat, and Lara realized she’d actually tuned the other woman out. She gave her a sheepish look. “I’m sorry, what?”

Henley gave her a gentle smile. “If you don’t want to do this, you don’t have to,” she said.

“I don’t want him to win,” Lara blurted. She had no idea where that thought came from, but as soon as the words left her lips, she realized how true they were.

“How would he win?” Henley asked.

“He liked how scared I was,” Lara admitted out loud for the first time. “He reveled in it. At first, he liked how hard I fought. He handcuffed my wrists to the bed but left my legs free. I kicked at him whenever he got close. He loved that. He’d pull out his dick and jack off to my struggles.”

Lara was breathing way too fast, and she could feel her heart pounding in her chest. Just like it had back then.

“Did he talk while he was doing that?” Henley asked in a controlled, calm tone.

“He never stopped talking,” Lara whispered. “He told me everything he was thinking. How much my fear turned him on. That he adored how red and blotchy my skin got when I was thrashing, how he loved seeing my breasts heave with every panicked breath, and the more my pupils dilated with panic, the more turned on he got.”

Lara squeezed her eyes shut but immediately opened them again when memories threatened to overwhelm her. She turned her head, not sure what she was looking for, but realizing what it was the second her gaze landed on Owl. He was sitting forward in his chair, his gaze pinned on hers…and just like that, she began to calm. She wasn’t in that basement. She was safe here. Owl wouldn’t let anyone get to her.

“When did he start drugging you?” Henley asked.

Lara inhaled and forced herself to study the other woman. She had one hand on her belly, slowly stroking, as if she didn’t even know she was doing it. Though Henley wasn’t really showing yet, Lara knew she was pregnant. She’d heard stories about what had happened to her daughter, how she’d been kidnapped by a local teenage ex-patient. That ordeal had to have been extremely distressing, and yet here she was, helping others. Moving on with her life.

Cora had live-streamed the wedding ceremony Henley and her husband, Tonka, had out in the barn just a few weeks ago. At that time, Lara wasn’t ready to leave Owl’s cabin. She remembered the look on Tonka’s face. He’d looked at Henley as if she was the most important person in his life. And when he’d looked at Jasna, his stepdaughter, his look was much the same.

Owl had told her a little about Tonka’s situation. What happened to him while he’d been in the Coast Guard. If he and Henley could move on with their lives after the horrible things they’d endured, it gave Lara hope that she could too.

“He didn’t like that I started spitting at him,” Lara admitted softly. “When I’d talk over him so I didn’t have to listen to what he was saying. At first, the drugs made everything worse. I was so lethargic, he could touch me while he…” Lara’s voice trailed off, and she used her hand to demonstrate a man jacking off. It was a crude gesture, but it seemed better than saying the words out loud.

“Did he rape you?”

Henley’s question was blunt and almost harsh-sounding, but Lara appreciated her candor.

She looked down at her lap. “No.”

“And you feel guilty about that.”

She looked up in surprise.

Henley gave her a small, tender smile. “Just because he didn’t penetrate you doesn’t mean you weren’t violated. You didn’t give him permission to touch you. What he did was perverted and sick. And many times, words can be just as painful as an actual physical touch.”

“He liked seeing his release on me. It itched. I can still feel it. It dried on my skin, and I can still smell him on me. It doesn’t feel as if I’ll ever get clean of it. Of him.”

Henley leaned forward then. “You will. I promise you, Lara, you will.”

“How?”

“Time. And the love and acceptance of your friends. You think Cora thinks less of you because of what you went through?”

“She doesn’t know,” Lara insisted.

“You think if she knew, she’d care?” Henley pressed.

Lara bit her lip. If she was honest with herself, yeah, she thought she’d care.

“She won’t,” Henley said firmly.

“When he came in with the drugs…eventually, I wanted them. I took them gladly. He taunted me with that too. Said I was an addict. Called me pathetic. But I didn’t care. If I could’ve taken double, triple, quadruple the number of pills he offered me, I would’ve. When he was…you know…I wasn’t there. I was somewhere else. Back in DC. On my couch. Watching TV.”

“Good for you for having a coping mechanism.”

Again, Lara blinked in surprise.

Henley chuckled softly. “You thought I was going to reprimand you for that? No way. That asshole might’ve thought he was torturing you more by drugging you, by making you compliant, but he was actually doing you a favor.”

“But it made it easier for him to touch me,” Lara insisted.

“Yes, but it also allowed you to disassociate. If he knew that you weren’t listening to him, that you barely knew what was going on, would it have pissed him off?”

Lara nodded without hesitation. “I learned to moan when he squeezed my boobs or pinched me…which he did often, because he liked to see his marks on me. When I didn’t react at all, he hurt me worse.”

“Exactly,” Henley said. “Listen to me, Lara. You might think that you were completely at his mercy, but in reality, you were controlling that situation as much as you could at the time. You figured out what you needed to do in order to stay alive. You outsmarted him. I hope this doesn’t freak you out…but I read the report you gave to the police. You said that he claimed you were his favorite, right?”

Lara shivered but nodded.

“Then he’s an idiot. Because he thought he had you completely under his thumb, but in reality, you were playing a part. I have no doubt whatsoever that if our guys hadn’t gotten there, you would’ve found a way to escape on your own eventually.”

Lara shook her head.

“Yes, you would’ve. You weren’t restrained anymore, were you?”

Lara stared at Henley, saying nothing.

“I bet even though you were drugged, you were already thinking about ways to escape. Maybe even about grabbing his dick while he was jacking off and hurting him.”

Lara swallowed hard. “He would’ve hurt me even more if I’d tried anything.”

“Probably. But that’s why you were waiting. Until his guard was down completely. So you would be sure to get away.”

Lara’s heart was beating fast again, but not because she was panicking. How did Henley know what she’d been planning? She was mostly out of it from the drugs when she was found. Passed out before they’d gotten to that helicopter. And she hadn’t told anyone what she’d been thinking, planning. Not the cops, not Owl. Definitely not the woman sitting across from her.

“I see you, Lara Osler. Cora says that you were the nice one in your friendship.” Henley smiled again. “That you were polite and quiet. But I see the fire behind your eyes. The determination. Being nice doesn’t mean you’re not willing to help yourself when the shit hits the fan.”

“I woke up one evening,” Lara said quietly. “He was late in coming to visit me. I don’t know why. But that meant the drugs he’d given me earlier in the day had worn off more than usual. I wasn’t tied down, but I’d been there long enough to know I wasn’t going to be able to walk out of that basement. The door was locked and the window was too high and small for me to use to escape. But I got out of bed and walked around anyway.

“In the bathroom, under the sink, I found a piece of metal. It was almost a foot long, sharp at one end, and kind of jagged and rough along one side. I don’t know what it was for or why it was there…but I took it. Hid it under the mattress. I thought about doing pretty much what you said. Thought maybe when he was masturbating, I’d cut his dick off.

“He never closed the door when he was there. I think he got off on the possibility that a member of the staff might catch him in the act of tormenting me. Or the idea that Ridge could come downstairs at any time and see exactly what he was doing. I mean…Ridge just handed me over to Carter willingly, so I doubt he cared. He was too busy spending my money to worry about what I was going through. Anyway…the door remained open. And I was scared; wasn’t sure I’d ever actually use that piece of metal. But I thought about it a lot.”

“You aren’t helpless, Lara. Not even close. No, you weren’t as strong as your captor and he was able to overpower you. But that doesn’t mean you were going to be his victim forever. Waiting for the perfect moment to make your move is smart. You didn’t ask to be violated. You didn’t do anything to deserve to be in that situation. Sometimes life is simply unfair. You can only hope to have the strength to endure, and when the time is right, rise up and overcome the odds.”

Lara pressed her lips together. Henley’s words echoed in her brain.

You didn’t ask to be violated.

You didn’t do anything to deserve to be in that situation.

No, she didn’t. All she was guilty of was wanting to be loved. Of wanting to please Ridge. That didn’t warrant what happened to her.

And…she hadn’t just lain there on that bed, resigned to her fate. No, she’d been talking herself into cutting off Carter’s dick and getting the hell out of there.

“I think on that note, we’ll stop for today. This goes without saying, but I’m going to say it anyway…anything we talk about in here, stays in here. And I want to be your friend, Lara, not just your therapist. But if you aren’t comfortable with that, it’s okay.”

Lara hadn’t been so sure that talking to a therapist would do a damn thing. She certainly didn’t think it would make her feel safer—after all, Carter Grant was still out there and probably making plans to get her—but surprisingly, she did feel better.

“I’d like to be your friend too,” she told Henley.

The smile on the other woman’s face made Lara feel good. Really good.

“Great. How about we go raid Robert’s stash of Christmas Tree Cakes?”

Lara frowned. “What?”

“You didn’t know? Oh, man, our resident chef is addicted to those things. You know, the super-sugary Little Debbie cakes that are usually only around at Christmastime? Well, Ryan, our newest housekeeper—though, I guess she’s not really new anymore, but whatever—has a connection and is able to supply Robert with several boxes a month.”

“Are you kidding? I love those things!” Lara exclaimed. “Cora gets me a bunch of boxes for Christmas every year, but I can never make them last longer than a few months.”

“I knew you’d fit in here. Well, come on, let’s go see if we can steal a box. We’ll sit in a corner and stuff our faces.”

Lara actually giggled. Then asked, “Will he be mad?”

“Robert? Oh, he’ll pretend he’s furious, and he might even withhold some of his chocolate chip cookies…for like a day. He’s a big softie. And since it’s you, he’ll totally not be able to stay mad.”

“Are you using my situation to keep from getting in trouble?”

“Totally,” Henley said with a grin.

“Well…all right then,” Lara said with a shrug.

Both women stood and turned toward the door—then Lara froze in her tracks when she saw Owl standing there. Shockingly, she’d honestly forgotten he was there. She wasn’t sure whether to feel bad about that or not.

“Can you give us a second?” Owl asked Henley.

“Of course. I’ll be outside talking to Alaska,” the other woman said. Then she reached out and squeezed Lara’s arm. “You’re going to be okay, Lara. You’re so much stronger than you think. And that’s awesome. We need more kick-ass women around here. I want as many as possible to be role models for Jas and this little one.” She rubbed her belly with her free hand, then slipped out of the door to the small conference room they’d been using.

She didn’t know what Owl wanted to talk about with her, but she opened her mouth to say something—she wasn’t sure what—when he beat her to it.

“You good?” he asked.

Instead of immediately answering, Lara thought about it. She felt a little off-kilter from the glut of up-and-down emotions she’d experienced in the last hour. But eventually she decided that, yes, she was good. More than good. “Yeah.”

Owl studied her for a long moment. It felt as if he could see inside her, see all the parts she desperately tried to keep from the world.

“Yeah, you’re good,” he said with a nod. “For the record, I was proud of you before, but now? I’m practically bursting at the seams with admiration.”

Lara felt her cheeks warm and knew she was blushing.

Owl didn’t give her a chance to respond. “Come on, I’ll have your back as you and Henley break into Robert’s stash of Christmas Tree Cakes. But if he catches us, I’m denying knowledge of anything.”

“So much for having my back,” Lara mumbled, but she smiled when she said it.

“Hey, you have no idea how possessive Robert is about his Christmas Tree Cakes. Trust me, he’ll know within hours that some of his precious stash is missing.”

“Maybe we shouldn’t—”

“Yes, you should,” Owl said. “Because I haven’t seen a smile that big on your face since you’ve gotten here. And if Christmas Tree Cakes is what put it there, I’ll make sure you have as many as you want for as long as you live. In fact, I might have to talk to Ryan and see if I can get in on her inside source for the things.”

He reached for the door, and when Lara walked through, she felt the tips of his fingers on the small of her back. He immediately dropped them, but she could still feel her skin tingling from the small touch.

Owl had always been very considerate about giving her space…and she was surprised to realize how much she wanted him to touch her. After everything she’d been through, it was a relief to know she could still tolerate a man’s touch.

Actually, Owl’s touch. It was an important distinction.

It felt as if Lara’s world had been turned upside down in the last seven days, and she owed all of that to Owl. She’d fully planned to fake her recovery, so she could convince everyone she was doing better than she was. But she didn’t have to fake any of the progress she’d made this week.

She felt like a new person…and she liked it. A lot.

She was very aware that everything could change back in a heartbeat. The threat of Carter Grant was looming, even if she tried hard not to acknowledge it. The time would come when he’d make his move, and Lara was no closer to knowing how she’d react.

But she was beginning to think that maybe, just maybe, she wouldn’t completely fall apart, as she’d feared. With each day that passed, Lara felt a tiny bit stronger. As Henley had pointed out, she hadn’t asked to be abused. Didn’t deserve what happened to her. And after those encouraging words…she wanted more. Wanted more friends like Henley and Cora.

Wanted what her best friend had—a partner. Not Prince Charming, but a real-live man who would stand by her, just as she’d do for him.

There was only one man she could actually see in that role…but she wasn’t ready for anything like that. And Lara had no idea if he’d ever want a relationship, especially with her. She’d never be like the old Lara, the romantic who always saw the best in people and was a bit naïve, but she realized that if she was all right with that…maybe Owl would be too.

* * *

Carter Grant winced as his head throbbed—again. Ever since that bitch had gouged his fucking eye out with her thumb, he’d had migraines from hell. He hated the eye patch. It itched, and the phantom pain from the trauma of his eye being injured was no joke.

Nothing was going the way he wanted. He knew for certain now that he couldn’t get within twenty miles of The Refuge. He knew all the former special forces owners would remain on high alert. Knew the place had security their guests had no clue about, including cameras everywhere. And with the patch over his eye, he was way too recognizable anyway.

As long as his property—and Lara Osler was definitely his—was hiding out there, he couldn’t get to her.

So he needed to get her away from The Refuge. But how? That was the question. He still had more research to do. There had to be a way to get his revenge on the assholes who thought they were untouchable, while also getting Lara back in his bed.

She was perfect in every way. He loved seeing his marks on her creamy skin. The thought that the bruises he’d inflicted were probably long gone made his teeth clench in anger.

Getting off wasn’t half as enjoyable—or easy—since she’d been stolen right out from under his nose…and he’d tried damn hard to find a substitute. He’d hired a few prostitutes, but they were far too jaded. They were downright bored when he wanted to jack off on them.

Without their fear, he couldn’t get hard.

It wasn’t until he tied them to his bed, gagged them, and brought out a knife that their terror ramped up anywhere near enough for his dick to get with the program. But seeing his jizz on their skin wasn’t the same. They weren’t Lara. They had scars and bruises from someone else, and their tits and bodies were too well-used. Killing the bitches held no appeal. And the fact that the police had gotten close to finding him in Albuquerque only pissed him off more. It meant he’d had to relocate, farther away from what was his.

He needed to come up with a plan. Pronto.

He had plenty of money, thanks to Ridge Michaels. He’d been siphoning cash from him and his rich parents from the day he’d been hired, so funds weren’t an issue. It was access, and staying under the FBI’s radar.

Somehow, he’d figure out how to get Lara back and take out the assholes from The Refuge in the process. If he could ruin their business, all the better. He’d learned more than a few things while in the military. The government liked to train their elite soldiers in all sorts of subjects.

He wasn’t the best hacker in the world, but he knew enough that he could maybe find a string to follow…one that would lead him to his prize.