Chapter 12

CHAPTERTWELVE

Henley was ridiculously excited about today. And since Finn was picking Jasna up from her camp that afternoon, she didn’t have to worry about anything but having fun with Alaska and Ryan. Their plan was to eat lunch at Blue Window, which Henley had heard a lot of great things about, then go shopping.

Henley was generally a frugal person, she’d had to be raising a child on a single income, but The Refuge paid generously and her bank account was fairly healthy. Granted, Los Alamos didn’t exactly have huge malls and designer shops, but Henley was happy enough to be out with friends.

Over the years, she hadn’t had many. She’d been too consumed by school then work, and raising her daughter. So the fact that Alaska had even asked her to come today felt really good. Ryan was quickly becoming a good friend as well, and with each day that passed, the more content Henley felt.

Alaska held open the door to the local restaurant and they all filed in. They were seated quickly and it didn’t take Henley long to decide on the green chile BLT sandwich.

“So…I have to say it…you and Tonka are absolutely adorable together,” Alaska said with a smile as she leaned on her elbows over the table after they all sat down.

“He’s awesome,” Henley said, nodding. “I’ve been attracted to him since the first day I started working at The Refuge, but honestly never really thought we’d be where we are today.”

“He’s pretty closed off,” Alaska said.

Henley didn’t take offense, since she wasn’t wrong. “He’s only said a few things here and there, but I gather whatever happened to him while in the Coast Guard was really awful. I know he had a canine partner, and that something happened to him, but I don’t know the details.”

Alaska nodded. “He’s so good with all the animals at The Refuge. He’s got a special touch when it comes to them, for sure.”

“I think Jasna’s got that same touch. I saw her the other day behind the barn and she actually had Chuck, that messed-up squirrel Tonka adopted, in her lap and was hand-feeding him.”

“Wow, really?” Alaska asked. “I tried to get him to come to me and the second he saw me from twenty feet away, he bolted into that little house Tonka made. Did you guys know Tonka once compared me to that pathetic thing?”

Henley and Ryan chuckled.

“I’m serious! He said I reminded him of Chuck, and then went on to describe how pathetic and ugly the thing was,” Alaska told them wryly.

Henley frowned. “I’m sure he didn’t mean that in a bad way.”

“Of course he didn’t. His point was that Chuck was brave, and he thought I was too.” Alaska shrugged. “I couldn’t be offended because it was Tonka. He’s quiet and introspective…and kind. I like him.”

Even though her friend wasn’t complimenting her, Henley still felt a wave of warmth flood her body.

“Me too,” Ryan said just before the waitress put their lemonades on the table.

They all took long sips of the cool, refreshing drink, and then Ryan continued.

“I’m still really new to The Refuge, and sometimes it’s hard to fit in when everyone around you has known each other and is used to the ins and outs of the way things work. He was nice enough to track me down when I first started and tell me the best times to go to the kitchen to get fresh cookies,” she said with a smile. “And he said that if I brought Robert a box of Little Debbie Christmas Tree Cakes, he’d bend over backward to make sure I was always fed.”

“Wait, what?” Alaska asked in confusion. “Christmas Tree Cakes?”

“Yeah, they’re usually only out around December. I don’t know why they’re so good, but they are. I think it’s the little green sprinkles on top or something. Anyway, I went online and was able to find someone selling them. I brought Robert four boxes and I literally thought his eyes were going to bug out of his head. He declared me his best friend, and I have to say…any chance of losing weight while I’m here is now officially shot to hell.”

The women all laughed.

“I had no idea,” Henley said with a shrug. “And I’ve been here a lot longer than either of you two. I’m gonna have some words with Finn when I see him next about not letting me in on that little secret.”

“Anyway, my point is that Tonka went out of his way to welcome me when I started, and I appreciate it,” Ryan said with a shrug.

“It has to be hard dating when you have an almost teenager,” Alaska said.

Henley shrugged. “I mean, it’s not the easiest thing I’ve ever done, but I think it’s probably better now than when she was four or five. Back then, she needed constant supervision and entertaining. I swear I feel a little guilty now, because from the time we pull into the parking lot at The Refuge, Jasna’s leaping out of the car and I don’t see her again until it’s time to leave. I appreciate both of you humoring her and letting her hang out with you and watch what you do.”

“I’m not sure my job’s too interesting to her,” Alaska said with a small laugh and shrug. “But she does enjoy watching YouTube videos.”

Henley wrinkled her nose. “I try to limit her screen time. Usually she’s cool with it, content to read or play a game with me, but every now and then she gets sucked in and it’s hard to tear her away.”

“I’m surprised at how happy she is working with me,” Ryan said with a small smile. “I’ve never seen a kid actually enjoy cleaning before.”

“She doesn’t slow you down too much?” Henley asked with concern. “I know how hard you, Carly, and Jess work, the last thing I want is her being a distraction.”

“She’s not!” Ryan exclaimed, sounding so genuine, Henley was relieved. “She actually helps a lot. She thinks it’s fun to steer the laundry cart back and forth from the rooms to the laundry. And aside from that one time, when she used twice as much detergent as she should’ve and we had bubbles floating across the parking lot, she’s been great.”

All three women laughed. Henley had been horrified when she’d looked out the window during one of her sessions and saw all the bubbles. She’d just had a gut feeling that her daughter was somehow involved with whatever had happened. And she hadn’t been wrong. But everyone had taken the incident in stride and laughed at the odd inconvenience.

“She’s a good kid,” Ryan said after a moment. “She’s well loved, that’s easy to see. You’ve done an amazing job with her.”

Henley felt her throat get tight. Hearing compliments like that made all the stress and frustration of single parenthood worth it. “Thanks,” she said.

“You’re welcome.”

The waitress returned with their lunches and they all dug in.

“So…please tell me Tonka’s good in the pleasure department,” Ryan said with a wicked grin.

Henley almost choked on her sandwich, but managed to swallow without incident. “Pardon?”

“I mean, is it really a girls’ day out if we don’t bring up sex at least once?” Ryan asked with a laugh. The woman was refreshingly direct and funny—and Henley realized with a start she had no idea where Ryan came from or why she was in the middle of nowhere, New Mexico. The Refuge wasn’t exactly on the beaten path, and someone as outgoing as Ryan seemed out of place with the rest of the mostly subdued staff at the retreat.

“Hell no, it’s not,” Alaska agreed.

“Should we talk about your sex life then?” Henley asked the other woman.

Alaska simply grinned. “We can. It’s incredible. Drake knows what he’s doing in bed, that’s for sure.”

“Shit, maybe I shouldn’t have brought up the topic. It’s been waaaaay too long for me,” Ryan groaned.

“So?” Alaska prompted. “I’m guessing Tonka’s the slow and steady type. Let’s you take the lead. Am I right?” she asked with a grin.

Henley couldn’t help the snorting laugh that escaped. “Um…no.”

“Really?” she asked, her eyes lighting up.

Henley hadn’t been prepared to talk about her sex life, but she trusted these women. “Really. Our first time? We barely made it into his cabin.”

“That’s kind of romantic,” Ryan sighed.

“Well, it actually wasn’t. We were standing up, he took me against the door, he was fully dressed, and neither of us lasted very long,” Henley said with a small smile. “But it was also the hottest experience in my entire life. Pretty much every time we get together it’s like an inferno between us. We haven’t done things slow and romantic very often, but I’m guessing at some point we’ll both be less desperate and will be able to take our time.”

“Hot damn!” Alaska exclaimed. “I wouldn’t have guessed that in a million years.”

“Me either. But I’m so deliriously happy, I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop,” Henley admitted.

“I felt the same way when I first got with Drake. I mean, I’d loved him for most of my life, and it was so hard for me to believe he was into me.”

“That’s what she said,” Ryan said.

Both Henley and Alaska looked at her with furrowed brows.

“What?” Henley asked.

“It was so hard…into you…” Ryan said with a sheepish look. “That’s what she said.”

For a moment, Henley just stared at the other woman, then she burst out laughing. Alaska did the same.

“Oh my God, you didn’t just say that!” she exclaimed.

“Sorry, it just popped out,” Ryan said with a little grin.

“Is this when I say, ‘that’s what she said’?” Henley quipped.

That got them all laughing again.

When they had themselves under control, Henley smiled at her friends. “All I can say is that Finn is everything I looked for years ago, before I had Jasna. I’ve always been a fan of sex, probably too much, but I’ve never been with a man who makes sure I’m completely satisfied before he sees to himself. It’s sexy and makes me feel so cherished. And the way he is with Jasna…well, let’s just say, when he tires of dating a woman with an almost-teenager, I’m going to be heartbroken.”

“Who says he’s going to get tired of you?” Ryan asked. “From where I’m standing, he’s head over heels for you both. I have the distinct feeling that if you aren’t sure whether or not you want things to become permanent, you should probably work on backing off and slowing things down.”

“You think so?” Henley asked softly, trying not to get her hopes up too high.

“If that man isn’t already head over heels in love with you, I’d be completely surprised. You can see it in his eyes. The way his gaze follows you wherever you go. The way he looks at Jasna. How attentive he is at all times. The way he can’t stop touching you when you get close.”

“She’s not wrong,” Alaska agreed. “Tonka looks at you the way Drake looks at me.”

Henley was blushing, but she didn’t care. “Really?” she couldn’t help but ask again. She knew the answer. She’d seen all the signs herself. But, well…sometimes she needed assurances as much as the next woman.

“Yes!” both her friends said at the same time.

“You don’t think we’re moving too fast?” she couldn’t help but ask.

“Do what feels right,” Ryan said. “Life’s too short to have regrets.”

“What are you, a freaking Hallmark card?” Alaska teased, then turned to Henley. “But she’s right. Besides, you’ve known Tonka for years, it’s not as if you met one day and were in bed the next. I’m guessing it’s a little difficult to navigate the dating waters with Jasna around?”

Henley nodded. “But I can’t deny I love watching them together. He doesn’t get irritated that she asks a million questions. I admit that I don’t exactly like not being able to be with him as much as I want, if you know what I mean, but when he cares so much for Jasna, it makes my frustration seem like not such a big deal.”

“Jas has another overnight camp coming up in a couple weeks, right?” Alaska asked.

Henley nodded. “Yup. And I can’t wait.”

All three women grinned at each other.

“Okay, I’m thinking that’s enough sex talk, especially since I’m not getting any,” Ryan complained.

“Well, there are five other single guys at The Refuge,” Alaska told her. “Why not go after one?”

Ryan’s cheeks flushed, and she looked down at her plate as if it was the most interesting thing she’d ever seen.

“Wait, you do like one of them? Who?” Alaska pressed.

“Nope, no, I don’t. I’m not getting involved with anyone. I’m single and I’m staying that way,” Ryan protested.

But Henley could hear the pensiveness in her voice.

“Why?” Alaska asked. “They’re all really good men.”

“Yeah, and they’re all former military,” Ryan replied without hesitation. “I know the type. Badass super-soldiers who’re nosey and bossy as hell, and I’m guessing most of them would never be satisfied with a fling. They’d want to know everything about me and my history, and they probably all want to be knights in shining armor or something. I don’t want or need any of that. So I’m going to stay as far away from them as I can. I’m happy to have a job, and that’s all.”

Ryan was definitely protesting too much—and now Henley was concerned. She’d seen enough of her patients attempt to deflect and skirt around the issues that were the root causes of their mental struggles. While on the surface Ryan seemed happy and easygoing, Henley had a feeling she was anything but.

Unfortunately, this wasn’t the time or place to try to delve deeper. Also, Henley had made the decision a long time ago not to psychoanalyze her friends.

“Anyway, I’m happy for you both, but I’m good. Promise,” Ryan said. “So…where are we shopping today?”

Recognizing the attempt to change the subject, Henley nodded. “I thought maybe we could check out the consignment shop over near the Central Shopping center. I’ve found some pretty cool stuff there in the past, and I’m still on the lookout for that two-dollar Navajo blanket someone drops off that’s actually worth millions.”

Alaska laughed. “Is that really a thing?”

“It’s happened. Maybe not around here because too many people know how valuable those things can be. But still…”

“I’m up for a good thrift store scrounge,” Ryan said. “I’ve found some pretty awesome things others have basically thrown away.”

With the decision made on their next stop, Henley finished the rest of her sandwich. There was a little argument about who was paying for lunch, but in the end, they all agreed to pay for their own meal…and to over-tip their waitress, who’d been so prompt and friendly throughout lunch.

By the time the three women were shopped-out hours later, Henley was tired and her feet hurt, but she couldn’t remember an afternoon when she’d laughed so much or had such fun.

They were standing in the parking lot of an adorable gift shop named Bliss as they said their goodbyes. Henley had bought so many British chocolates and other goodies from the specialty shop that her bank account was crying. But she couldn’t even bring herself to care. Jasna would love everything she’d bought for her today, and she hoped the little things she’d gotten for Finn would bring a smile to his face as well.

“I had fun today,” Alaska said.

“Me too,” Henley agreed.

“Me three,” Ryan said. “When I took the job here, I never thought I’d actually make friends.”

“Why not?” Alaska asked with a small frown. “You’re funny, considerate, you work hard, never leave the crap jobs to Carly or Jess, and you’re always offering to help others—like me—when they need it.”

Ryan shrugged. “I don’t know. I’ve kind of kept to myself in the past.”

It was on the tip of Henley’s tongue to ask why, but she swallowed the question at the last second. Instead, she stepped forward and hugged the other woman. “Well, there’s no need to do that anymore,” she said firmly.

Alaska hugged Ryan as well.

“Thanks, guys. Anyway, I guess I’ll see you both tomorrow,” Ryan told them.

“We should do this again soon,” Alaska said firmly.

“I’d love to,” Ryan said. “Maybe we could invite Jess and Carly. Even Luna.”

“That’s a great idea,” Henley said with a huge smile. “I’d love to get to know them better.”

“It’ll have to be a little later in the day though,” Ryan warned. “It’s not like all three of the housekeepers can just up and leave work at the same time.”

They all chuckled. “True. Okay, we’ll play it by ear. Maybe we can do an afternoon shopping trip, then have dinner somewhere.”

“Margaritas!” Ryan exclaimed happily.

“That sounds awesome,” Alaska agreed. Then she turned to Henley. “You headed home then?”

“Yeah. Finn picked up Jasna from camp. The original plan was for them to go back to The Refuge, but they got sucked into a show and decided to watch some more episodes, so they’re still at the apartment. I texted earlier and asked if they wanted me to bring home something for dinner, but Finn said they had it covered.”

“Are you scared?” Ryan asked with a grin.

Henley laughed. “Actually, no. I mean, Finn’s not the best cook in the world, but I trust him.”

“That’s awesome,” Ryan said, the longing back in her voice. “That you trust him, I mean.”

“Yeah,” Henley said.

“All right, we could stand here all night, but I’m sure Drake’s anxious for me to get back to The Refuge. See you guys tomorrow. Drive safe!”

“You too!” Henley and Ryan said at the same time.

All three shared a smile, then headed for their vehicles. They’d shared a car earlier when they’d been going from place to place, but before coming to the quirky gift shop that sold all things British, they’d agreed it would be their last stop and they’d all driven here individually.

Henley looked at the cargo area of her CRV through the rearview mirror and smiled. There were a ton of bags back there and she couldn’t wait to share everything she’d gotten today with Jasna…and Finn.

She desperately wanted to have some alone time with him, but she knew when they were able to find the time to be intimate again, it would be worth the wait. She’d never been a fan of anticipation in the past, remembering how torturous it was waiting for Christmas morning, but now she was learning how fun it could be. How much better it made any moments alone with Finn.

Still smiling, Henley pulled out of the parking lot and headed for her apartment.

* * *

Christian Dekker drove out of the parking lot behind the shrink. He’d been following her all day, his anticipation building. He was tempted to make his move right then, take the bitch doctor instead, but he’d forced himself to wait. The anticipation was the best part. He’d been over and over what he was going to do in his head.

He’d scoped out a small, deserted cabin not too far from town. No one else was around for miles and he could do whatever he wanted, for as long as he wanted. There would be no reason for anyone to check the cabin when the kid went missing. And no reason to suspect he was behind her disappearance.

Thinking about how frantic and upset the shrink would be when no one could find her kid made him flush with pleasure.

He’d actually liked her when they first met. Had contemplated trying to change with her help. Suppress his desire to kill animals. Try to get along with his parents and sister. Yes, he’d gone out of his way to shock the therapist, say things that would scare her…but deep down, he’d actually liked going to her sessions.

Until she’d turned on him. Tried to get him sent away. And she’d pawned him off on that asshole she worked with. He’d felt betrayed in a way he hadn’t experienced before—and Christian hated it.

She was going to pay for making him think she was different. That she wasn’t just getting paid to talk to him, but truly cared.

His revenge had been a long time coming, but he was disciplined enough to wait for the perfect opportunity. The bitch and the kid were spending a lot of time at that fucking motel place on the outskirts of town. They had cameras all over the property, so he couldn’t risk grabbing her there. Not to mention, he was well aware the men who owned the place were former military. Everyone in town knew. They made a big deal out of the “heroes” who were helping others, and it sickened Christian.

He’d almost grabbed the girl earlier this week. She was at some bullshit camp, and at one point during some group activity, she’d gone to the bathroom. He’d almost made his move. But then another girl went into the bathroom, and Christian hadn’t wanted to risk there being any witnesses. Yes, he could’ve taken both girls, but he wanted to concentrate on the shrink’s kid to start. She would be his first. That was the plan. And he didn’t want to do anything to risk fucking it up.

He already had all the tools for what he had in mind stored in the vacant cabin. Pliers, hammer, rope, handcuffs…he’d even stolen money from his dad’s wallet to purchase the roofies. He was ready. He just had to find the perfect time to snatch the girl.

As the shrink pulled into the parking lot at her apartment, Christian saw the truck owned by the guy she was now apparently dating. The fact that the dude was always around made things more complicated, but not impossible. The asshole wouldn’t stop him from doing what he was born to do.

Christian Michael Dekker would be the most famous serial killer the country had ever seen. Even more famous than John Wayne Gacy, Jeffrey Dahmer, Charles Manson, or Ted Bundy. And his body count would be higher than any of theirs. Much higher.

Everyone had to have a first, and the kid would soon be his. Maybe he’d specialize in killing children. That might be a cool angle, might make him even more infamous. Yes, a couple other serial killers had primarily targeted kids…but he’d do it better. More often and in more gruesome ways. Christian wanted to stand out. Make his mark on the world.

Anticipation grew within him once more as he drove past the apartment complex toward his house. He hadn’t been back there in a couple of days, and he knew his parents and sister were probably relieved. Well, they’d be rid of him soon enough. Something they’d wanted ever since they realized he was different. They were still on his list of people who had to die, but he rather liked the thought of them looking over their shoulder for years, wondering if or when he’d strike.

He’d get to them soon enough, when they least expected it. When they’d let down their guard and thought he was gone forever. But first…the shrink’s kid.

He couldn’t wait.