3. Claire

3

CLAIRE

I watched my daughter retreat into her bedroom, sighing in relief that she was back in the bunker. She didn’t need to say a thing. I saw it all over her face. She liked being trapped. It made her feel like she was at home. But that wasn’t what I wanted for her. I remembered the days when she was still a young woman, so full of life and ready to take on the world. That woman was gone.

I felt Michael behind me and stiffened. Sure, he was here now, but I knew as soon as Cash called with the next lead, he’d be gone. Off to chase more ghosts. Everything about our life had been complicated, but now that Zavala was dead, all I wanted was peace. But I knew Michael could never give me that until he ended this. And for him, that meant taking out every last person involved.

I felt the warmth of his breath caress my neck as he exhaled heavily. “Back in that room.”

“It’s where she feels safe.”

“I wish she would come out here.”

I did too, but I didn’t like that Knight was trying to drag her out into the world. It wasn’t safe for her. She needed to be where we could watch her and take care of her.

Now that she was locked in her room, I headed down the hall to the living room, which was an elaborate setup for an underground bunker. It made me wonder if they had lived here at one time. Sitting down, I wrapped my arms around myself, trying to ward off the chill of uncertainty.

Michael walked in, leaning against the wall, his hands shoved in his pockets as he stared at me. “Maybe we need to get her a psychiatrist.”

That was amusing. “How about thirteen? One for every year she was trapped on that island? Maybe they can each take a year to unravel.”

I pressed my hand to my head, rubbing at the ache building. Ever since we got her back, I hadn’t been able to get rid of the constant throb. It was almost worse now that she was here with me. Every second, I wondered if someone would snatch her away from me again. Had it all been for nothing?

And what about her mental state? How was I ever supposed to get my little girl back when she worshiped that monster?

“Hey.”

I sucked in a breath, not realizing Michael had moved closer. I desperately wanted to reach out and touch him, to soak in the warmth of his touch, but I promised myself I wouldn’t fall into his arms until he could give me every piece of himself.

“Maybe you should try to get some sleep.”

“I’m fine.”

He smiled at me, which only pissed me off. “You keep saying that, but you’re exhausted.”

Pushing up from the chair, I practically trampled over him to get some space. “Oh, now you care?”

“I’ve always cared, Claire,” he sighed. “I don’t know how I can make you see that. I know you may never forgive me?—”

I squeezed my eyes closed and pushed away his words. Of course I forgave him. He already knew that, but he still questioned whether or not it was true. The problem wasn’t whether or not I could forgive him. It was about whether he would be there for me. I couldn’t stand the thought of getting him back only to have him killed on a revenge spree. I knew he was hurting. His son died violently trying to rescue Isabelle.

He’d succeeded and left his family reeling from the fallout.

“Michael, I do forgive you. This isn’t about that. I need for this to be over. For her and for me.”

“I can’t do that,” he said gruffly, stepping back. “They killed my son. I won’t stop until every last one of them is dead.”

“And that’s why I can’t be with you. It’s hard enough to have Isabelle back, but a shell of who she used to be. I won’t spend years trying to have a relationship with someone who’s only half in.”

“It wouldn’t be like that.”

“You say that now,” I answered honestly.

“I’m here.”

“For now. You’ll find a reason to leave. You always do. And I don’t blame you for that either. I understand why you need to do this, but Isabelle needs to heal after what that monster did to her. I can’t?—”

I could feel the anger swarming inside me again and had to turn away. I was just so angry all the time.

“Claire, don’t let them tear us apart?—”

“Them? You mean Zavala,” I snapped. “He did this! He took my daughter and he did things to her that I can’t even begin to speak of. That woman in there is not the daughter I had. She actually talks about him like she still loves him! After all he did to her, she’s still infatuated!”

“That’s why I have to do this!” he shouted. “I can’t walk away, not when my little girl is still hurting!”

“And do you think going after them is going to make her better? Do you think getting revenge will do anything for her? She doesn’t even recognize the threat that Zavala was!”

“So, you want me to throw up my hands and walk away? You want them to get away with this?”

“I want my husband back. I want to heal as a family. I want—God, I want to go back in time and pretend none of this happened.”

He sighed heavily, hanging his head. “I can’t do that. I won’t stop until they’re all dead. I know that’s not the answer you want, but—Claire, they can’t live.”

I knew he would say that.There was no way he’d allow them to live, even if Isabelle was broken and needed him. He didn’t know how to be a father to her, and so he took his revenge and prayed it would heal her in time.

“Then go.”

“Claire—”

“You know you’ll get the call eventually and leave. So go now before I begin to rely on you again.”

He gave a clipped nod, but I knew it wasn’t the end. Not by a long shot. He would stay as long as he could, and then one day, he would be back, begging me to give him another chance. I so desperately wanted to. Hell, I swore to him we’d make it work.

I just didn’t know how much fight I had left in me.