4. Isla

4

ISLA

Breath whooshed from my lungs as I sat up in bed, panting hard from the remnants of my nightmare. I pushed my curly hair from my face, closing my eyes as I desperately tried to calm my breathing. My fingers dug into my blankets, but the sound of Riley laughing downstairs with Bowie eased the fear slightly.

I was okay. Riley was okay. Bowie was recovering. I could almost imagine it was just a bad dream. Shawn couldn’t hurt me anymore. He was still in the hospital, still recovering from his “accident.”

Slowly, the dream faded, leaving me shaky at best. But underneath, I knew escaping wouldn’t be so easy. After Shawn tried to blow me up, I vowed to be stronger after nearly having a meltdown. And for a while, that worked just fine for me. I really thought it was over, that Shawn made his point and was walking away.

Then the bullets came.

And the final straw…He took Riley. He ran Bowie down, nearly ending his life. I stared down at my shaking hands, squeezing them tight. I would not be afraid of Shawn. I would not let him ruin my life or force me to shy away from being the person I always was.

I flung off the covers and quickly showered and dressed. What I really needed was a cup of coffee. That would make everything better. After slathering a bit of curly cream in my hair, I stared at my gaunt face in the mirror, pinching my cheeks just like Scarlett O’Hara, trying to manipulate some color into them.

No, I hadn’t slept through the night since Kavanaugh left on his last job. But it was only partially because I wasn’t sure I could trust him. He’d told me everything about this job, from where he would be to who he would be with. I felt like I was in a military briefing as he described the “op”—as he called it—in great detail. I practically had to kick him out of the house so my brain could get a rest.

But I understood why he was doing it. Complete trust, that’s what he wanted between us. I didn’t have the heart to tell him that it would take more than him informing me of where he was going and what he would do. It was really great that he wanted me to know, but trust was based on not knowing and still believing in him, and that was going to take time.

My phone rang and I glowered at the name on it. I probably could have been good friends with any of these people if Kavanaugh didn’t have them calling to check on me constantly. “Dash?”

“Isla. You always say my name with such disdain. Is it because I wanted to know about the package so much?”

“No, it has to do with the fact that you call me every morning to make sure I’m okay.”

“Boss’s orders.”

“No, they’re Kavanaugh’s orders,” I retorted, feeling rather irritable.

“He cares about you. He just wants to make sure you’re okay.”

“Well, you can see I’m okay because none of the alarms have gone off. You have this place rigged to high heaven. If everything weren’t okay, you would know it.”

“Still, have you given any thought to my suggestion?”

Right, the whole distress answer. If I was in trouble, I needed to have a keyword or phrase to say to him. I sighed heavily, pinching the bridge of my nose. “How about I slipped on a banana peel today. ? ”

He tsked in disapproval. “That’s a terrible distress phrase.”

“And why is that?”

“Because no kidnapper would believe that.”

“Well, if he was there to kill me, maybe he wouldn’t care.”

“If he was there to kill you, you wouldn’t have time to get the whole phrase out. Keep working on it.”

“Why don’t you just tell me what you want me to say?”

“Because then it won’t sound natural.”

“Then I want the banana phrase,” I argued.

“Listen, I think we both know what this is about.”

We did?

“I get it. You like this little back and forth with me, but I gotta tell ya, I’m happily married. Nothing can happen between us.”

I swear, I didn’t mean to laugh at him, but seriously, he thought I was hitting on him?

“Hey, it’s been known to happen.”

“Right, and you know what else has been known to happen?”

“What’s that?”

“I will hang up on you and you won’t call me back tomorrow morning.”

“I’m afraid that’s not a possibility. If you hang up, I’m duty-bound to come check on you. What if this is all a ruse? What if you’re actually sending me a distress signal right now? That’s something I would know if you actually picked a phrase, by the way.”

“We’re using the banana phrase. That’s it. End of discussion. Now, I’m going to hang up, and you’re not going to come over here to make sure I’m alright. You’ve done your duty. Now let me get on with my morning.”

“Alright, but if I intercept a 9-1-1 call in three minutes from your house, you’re going to be in a world of hurt with Kavanaugh.”

I bit my tongue, knowing I was already in a world of hurt. When he found out I gave Dash such a hard time about this, I’d never hear the end of how he’s only trying to protect me, and he can’t do that if I don’t cooperate.

With that conversation over, I put a smile on my face and practically skipped into the kitchen to pour myself a cup of coffee. The false cheer was almost too much to fake. “Morning!”

Riley grimaced as she caught sight of my face, but it was Bowie who really took the cake.

“You look like shit this morning,” he grumbled.

Riley jabbed him with her elbow, hissing at him to shut up.

“What? She does.” Then he turned to me. “And I mean that in the nicest way possible.”

“I just had trouble falling asleep. Too much caffeine in the afternoon yesterday.”

Riley smiled, but she knew I was lying. We’d both woken each other up with our screams from our nightmares. I wasn’t fooling anyone, but it made me feel better to think I was.

“I think I’ll sit on the front porch. It’s a nice morning.”

With all the bravado of someone who hadn’t had her life turned upside down, I walked out, letting the screen door slam behind me. I nearly jumped out of my skin from the noise, but somehow didn’t spill my coffee.

The morning was slightly chilly as fall began creeping into the air. I wanted desperately to get a blanket and drape it over my legs, but the cold air helped to calm me down after my restless night.

That and I could run faster if my legs weren’t covered in fabric.

I took a seat and forced myself to sit there sipping my coffee. My heart hammered in my chest as my eyes darted up and down the road. It was stupid to think anyone would try to kill me again. Shawn wasn’t even able to move.

That doesn’t mean he can’t hire someone to do the job for him.

I growled at my inner thoughts. That was not helpful when I was trying to look past what happened and move on with my life. And there were still lingering doubts that Shawn had anything to do with the drive-by shooting. It was just so odd that Shawn would plant a bomb in my fridge to blow me up, but then drive past the house with me in plain sight, fire at me multiple times, and not hit me once.

And now I was shaking again, terrified that someone else was trying to kill me. I really needed to get a handle on my emotions.

The next-door neighbor’s vintage car rumbled to life, scaring the shit out of me. I practically jumped out of my skin, barely holding back a scream. I bit my lip, my nostrils flaring as my body went into overload. My neighbor waved his hand in greeting, but I saw how his eyes lingered on the front of my house. It was repaired now, but everyone in the neighborhood knew what happened.

Everyone was on edge, more cautious as they went outside, wondering if the attack was only about me or if it was gang activity and they all needed to be afraid. I hadn’t bothered to answer anyone’s questions. Partly because I didn’t know the answer with absolute certainty, but also because I couldn’t bring myself to talk about it yet.

Movement caught my attention and I swung my gaze to the walk leading up to my porch. IKE was there, casually walking toward me with a cigarette dangling between his fingers. I hadn’t seen him since that night—the night he saved my life. I hadn’t had a chance to thank him. I’d been in shock or something, unable to think of anything besides Riley and the fact that I was still alive.

And now he was here, in his usual suit and tie, slicked hair, and fancy shoes—his signature cigarette at his lips as he inhaled and let the smoke trickle from between his lips in a dangerous curl of smoke that made me think of the devil. Yet, IKE’s threatening stance didn’t scare me. Not in the way he intended. I hadn’t spent much time with him, but I knew him well enough to know that he would never hurt me.

He put out his cigarette and walked up the steps, his fancy shoes completely out of place on my front porch. He didn’t ask permission before he sat down on the swing beside me, resting his arm across the back of it, his fingers brushing against my neck.

“Nice morning.”

“Yes,” I said cheerily. Fake it til you make it. That was my new motto.

His lips twisted in a grin as he stared out at the street. “Right.”

Confused, I turned to face him. “What do you mean?”

But instead of answering, he kept talking as if we were already having a conversation. “How’s work?”

“Just great. Things are great.”

“No sign of the ex?”

He didn’t look at me, but I saw the slight crinkle of his eyes, the way his jaw tensed at the mention of Shawn. “No, but then he wouldn’t call me, would he?”

“You tell me,” he said casually.

“Considering he’s in the hospital, I doubt I would be his first phone call. You wouldn’t happen to know anything about that, would you?” I asked accusingly.

His head slowly swiveled to face me. “Why would I know anything about your ex?”

I narrowed my eyes at him. “Because that’s what you do, right?”

“And if I did?”

I scoffed at the nonchalance in his tone. “If you did, you nearly killed him. I didn’t want that.”

“No? A man who claims to love you, yet has no problem laying his hands on you? That’s something you can forgive?”

“I didn’t say that,” I bit out.

“But you have a problem with me ensuring he could never hurt you again.”

“It wasn’t your choice to make! I have to live with what you did!”

He shrugged slightly, his gaze shifting back to the street. I wasn’t stupid. He was watching for threats, even if he was pretending he was just enjoying the morning air. “Seems a small price to pay to make sure the fucker never bothers you again.”

“Small price to someone like you who already has blood on his hands,” I snapped. “I’m not a murderer.”

“No one’s dead.”

“He might as well be,” I argued. “They don’t know if he’ll ever walk again.”

“I’d say the fucker deserved it.”

“But I’m the one who has to deal with those decisions. They may mean nothing to you, but I know who hurt him. I know it was because of me, and maybe he was okay with trying to kill me, but I’m not like him. I don’t take pleasure in knowing someone hurt him in my defense.”

He nodded slightly. “And would you feel the same way if I had killed him while he was trying to strangle the life from you? Would that make this all acceptable?”

I opened my mouth, but no words came out. The hypocrisy of the way I felt wasn’t lost on me. He’d run down Bowie, tried to kill my sister, and had very nearly succeeded in killing me. If it hadn’t been for IKE, he would have finished the job. I wouldn’t be sitting here this morning enjoying a cup of coffee.

“That’s what I thought.”

When I thought of what might have happened after he killed me…he would have moved on to Riley. She’d be dead also, and the only reason she wasn’t was because IKE had been there. Even now, IKE hadn’t killed him. He’d only put him in the hospital. He’d ensured that I was safe. Was I willing to live with that for the sake of knowing Shawn couldn’t hurt me?

I had to be okay with it.

“I…he would have killed me.”

“I know,” he said quietly.

“I never thanked you for saving my life.”

“I didn’t ask you to,” he grunted.

When I finally looked at him, I found him already staring at me, his deep blue eyes roaming over my face to look for signs of…something.

“I’m okay,” I said, trying to reassure him.

“Are you? Is that why you jumped at the sound of a car starting?”

He saw that? I blew out a breath and brushed my hair from my face, tucking it behind my ear. “I will be okay.”

I told myself that, but it was only when I saw the sincerity in IKE’s eyes that I believed it. “I know you will.”

The moment I got the call, I was running down the stairs, hoping I didn’t trip and break my neck. I didn’t even tell Riley and Bowie what was going on as I flung open the front door and raced down the steps. Kavanaugh was just getting out of his truck when I threw myself into his arms and held on for dear life.

I told myself I was just glad he was home, but the truth was, I was so grateful I wouldn’t have to be alone tonight. And an added bonus, if he was here, I wouldn’t get that annoying check-in call from Dash.

“Hey,” he chuckled, wrapping his arms around me. “It’s good to see you, too.”

“I never get greetings like that,” Eli muttered.

“That’s because your wife is a thief,” Red retorted.

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“I don’t know, but it has to mean something. Maybe she doesn’t throw herself into your arms because it’s no longer fun to steal from you.”

“Are you suggesting I make it more difficult?”

Red chuckled in amusement. “Actually, I’m guessing it’s because no matter how hard you try to stump her, she still manages to get you every time. You’ve become a boring target in your predictability.”

I finally released Kavanaugh, chuckling at his friends’ banter. “How did everything go?”

He tried to hide the tension behind his eyes, but failed miserably. Still, I didn’t want him to tell me anything he wasn’t ready to. Trust needed to work both ways. “The job went fine. We got what we needed.”

“That’s good, right?”

“Yeah,” he nodded, taking my hand. “Is it alright if I stay here?”

“I assumed you would,” I said a little too quickly.

He faced me, his brows furrowing slightly. “Is everything okay?”

“Of course,” I smiled brightly. I didn’t want him to know how hard it had been while he was gone. The last thing he needed to worry about when he left for a job was how I was doing. Besides, it would be nice if we could just get back on the right footing as a couple. “Bowie is staying here also. You’ll have to deal with them having sex like rabbits.”

“I think I can handle that,” he laughed.

Red caught up to us, slinging his arm around my shoulder. “Any chance you have any food in the house?”

I smiled, shaking my head at him. “Don’t you have a wife that cooks for you?”

He winced. “Yes, but she’s been busy with the kids and—well, Fox has been cooking for her. I’m kind of terrified of what I’ll find when I go home.”

“Sarah is an amazing cook,” Eli declared, though it sounded a little forced.

“Is she?” I asked.

Eli quirked an eyebrow at me. “Not convincing enough? I’ve been working on it for a few weeks now.”

We walked up the steps to the porch and my eyes slid across the front window. Everything was patched up, but I could swear I still saw the holes and my curtains billowing in the breeze. I swallowed hard, ducking my head as I walked inside, doing my best to ignore the way my body reacted.

While Eli and Red immediately walked over to Bowie and sat in the living room, Kavanaugh pulled me into the kitchen, his face laced with concern. When his hand cupped my cheek, I nearly broke. “Is everything okay?”

“Of course,” I smiled at him.

“You know, nothing happened on this trip. I swear, I haven’t talked to Olivia or the senator in weeks.”

I was taken aback for a moment. I thought he could read my thoughts so well, but he assumed I was off because of what happened with the senator, not the fact that I was nearly killed. Maybe it was better that way. If he knew how terrified I was to sleep in my own bed, he might put men around my house again, which was completely unnecessary. Just because I was scared didn’t mean I needed bodyguards. And we were already too close to that with Dash calling me every morning.

He wouldn’t see it that way.

“We’re starting over,” I smiled. “Let’s just remember that and…try to let the past go.”

But he didn’t look so convinced. “I know I broke something between us. I swear to you, I thought I was protecting you—that it would all be over and you’d never have to deal with the senator’s bullshit.”

I remembered what he was like. He was charming and suave, but a snake underneath it all. I understood why Kavanaugh didn’t want me near him, and why he tried so hard to hide it from me. The problem was his fake fiancée. I couldn’t forget about her quite so easily.

I squeezed his hand and tried to appear happy, but something inside me wasn’t working quite right. Maybe it was just the stress of everything that happened. Between my husband trying to kill me and all the bullshit with the senator…I just needed time to adjust.

“How about I take you out for a nice dinner tonight?”

“Yeah?”

“We’ll get away. You’ve been cooped up in this house too long.”

I cocked my head at him, smiling as I wrapped my arms around his neck. “Are you checking up on me?”

He huffed out an uncomfortable laugh. “Maybe more than is respectable.”

“Do you watch the cameras in my rooms?” I asked, suddenly feeling just a little uneasy with the idea that he would see me at my worst.

“No, I only check the sensors.” Then a grin twisted his lips. “Did you want me to look at the cameras?”

I hid my unease with a laugh, pretending it was all in good fun. “So, dinner?”

He leaned in to kiss me, then stopped. “You know, this is really bad, but I think this is our first date.”

He was right. We’d had plenty of sex and spent a lot of time together, but we hadn’t gone out on an actual date. “Then I guess I’d better get dressed.”

He smacked my ass and watched me head upstairs.

Two hours later, I was sitting across from him at an Italian restaurant. With a glass of red wine swirling in my hand, I studied him, watching how he slouched back in his chair. His black suit paired with a red button-down shirt was gorgeous, but it was the way he wore it so confidently that made me think of all the things I wanted to do to him when we got home.

And worse, the smirk on his face told me he knew everything I was thinking.

“So, if this was really a first date in the sense that we didn’t really know each other, I suppose I would ask you something about if you like Italian food.”

I smiled at him, willing to play along. “And if you didn’t already know from our childhoods that Italian is my favorite, I would gush about how much I love it.”

“And then I’d ask what your favorite food is.”

“I might tell you it was lasagna?—”

“Which we both know is a lie,” he chuckled, leaning forward to rest his elbows on the table. “You’ve always preferred to eat bruschetta instead of a full meal.”

My lips twitched at how well he knew me. But there were so many things about me that had changed over the years. “Since you already know so much about me, how about I tell you something that’s different than you remember?”

His eyes seemed to drag over my body as if he was remembering all the ways my body had changed since we were kids. I tossed my napkin at him, hitting him in the face.

“That’s not what I meant!”

He laughed, folding up my napkin before handing it back to me. “Maybe it’s not, but you definitely don’t look the same as when you were fifteen.”

“I would hope not or I would be wondering why you were so attracted to me.”

“Alright,” he sighed. “That’s it. You’ve officially ruined it. I can’t possibly hit on you when you’ve now put the image of fifteen-year-old girls in my head.”

The waiter happened to stop at just that moment, his eyes widening at Kavanaugh’s words. I choked back a laugh at the horror on his face, slapping my hand over my mouth.

“Uh…that sounded way worse if you don’t know the whole story.”

“I uh…I forgot the wine list. I’ll be back,” the waiter said, scurrying off.

I snorted, picking up my glass of wine and swallowing a large mouthful. “Should we remind him when he returns that we already have our drinks?”

“I don’t think he’s returning,” Kavanaugh chuckled. “Which is a shame because I had plans to slowly torment you with all the things I would say as I undressed you later tonight.”

My eyes flared at his words. Liquid heat pooled between my thighs, making it rather uncomfortable to continue to sit here when all I wanted was for him to take me home and remind me of what we’d been missing for the past few weeks.

“Then how about you just take me home and show me,” I whispered.

He tipped back his wine glass, swallowing the whole thing. Then he stood and held out his hand for me. “That’s the fastest date I’ve ever been on.”

I placed my hand in his and stood. I opened my mouth to say something witty, but as a sexy smile slipped over his face, I found myself absolutely speechless. His hand slid up to my elbow, cupping it lightly. His thumb brushed my skin, sending tingles down my spine. “Shall we?”