10 Tennyson

Ten's mouth hung open as Ronan, Jude, and Fitz detailed their meeting with Spencer Stephens. The story kept getting stranger and stranger as the men told it, all the while trying to keep straight faces. "Okay, so let me get this straight, Channel Five failed to mention that it wasn't Aunt Effy Lou who Spencer was looking for, but her remains?"

"Yup!"

Ronan laughed. "After we called Cisco Jackson to let him know that our missing person had been found, I called John Jameson and left him an angry voicemail in which I may or may not have threatened to arrest his ass for wasting the Salem Police Department's resources."

"I have a feeling he'd love it if you were the one to slap the cuffs on him."

Ten rolled his eyes. He supposed it wasn't Jameson's fault if the editors cut the piece together while leaving out the most critical piece of information.

"Probably so,"

Ronan agreed. He opened his mouth looking like had more to say on the subject when a knock on the door interrupted him.

Carson stuck his head in the door. "Spencer Stephens is here. He's grabbing a cup of coffee from Cassie's and he'll be right in. FYI, his aura sucks."

"So does his attitude."

Fitzgibbon frowned. "Which one of us is going to tell him that he doesn't need to bring the box to his aunt's attorney?"

"It would be worth it just to see the look on his face, but Aunt Effy Lou deserves better than that."

Ten hoped the poor woman had a nurse or kind caregiver with her at the end, because by the sound of things, Spencer would have just sat around waiting for her last breath, repeatedly checking the time and sighing.

"Holy shit,"

Spencer said, walking into the conference room. "This place is as cool as fuck. Any chance I can get a discount on one of those crystal balls?"

Ten raised a quizzical eyebrow at the young man. "No. Now, sit."

Spencer looked back and forth between Ten and Ronan before finally taking a seat. "Oh, I get it. You're the bad cop. Roman's the good cop."

"It's Ronan,"

Ten said, with a shiver. He was feeling the full force of Spencer's aura. It didn't just suck, it was rotten to the core. Ten wanted this guy out of the shop as soon as possible. He was going to have to sage the entire space and everyone in it.

"Where's Aunt Effy Lou? It's time we hit the road."

Spencer looked around at the others when Ten stayed where he was. "Oh, I see how it is. You want some kind of reward for finding my aunt's remains. I'll be sure to hit you back when I get my inheritance."

"We don't want or need a reward, Spencer,"

Ten said, feeling his grip on his growing anger start to slip. "We want to make sure that you'll be a proper caretaker for your aunt's remains when they are returned to you."

"What the hell does that mean? Good caretaker?"

Spencer wore a sour look. It wasn't as if Ten was asking the man to care for a live person.

"Aunt Effy Lou's remains were found in trash heap. If your neighbor hadn't found them, her final resting place would be a landfill in Beverly. What do you plan to do with the remains?"

Ten wasn't sure he wanted to hear the answer. It wasn't as if he could keep the remains from Spencer no matter how terrible his response.

"I'm gonna bring them to her attorney when I find out who the hell that is. I'll trade her for my money."

Spencer wore a self-satisfied look.

"Can you believe this troglodyte is my only living relation?"

a voice asked from behind Spencer. Seconds later, a older woman made herself visible to Tennyson. He had no doubt he was in the presence of Aunt Effy Lou Josephine. She was dressed in jeans paired with a silver sequined top, which perfectly matched her stylish silver hair. "He doesn't have the sense God gave a houseplant."

Tennyson snorted.

"You think it's funny that I'm going to trade my aunt for her money?"

Spencer asked with a grin. "Jeez, I wish you'd been the one to come out to my house this morning instead of Officer Asshole."

Spencer shot Ronan a dirty look.

"Can't your husband just arrest his sorry ass for abuse of a corpse or for being too stupid to live?"

Effy Lou asked.

"No, Effy Lou, unfortunately my husband can't arrest him for either of those crimes."

Ten liked old lady. She was full of sass and obviously didn't suffer fools lightly. It was unfortunate Spencer didn't inherit any of her qualities.

Spencer spun around in his chair as if he expected Effy Lou to be standing right behind him. "My aunt isn't here. How many people do you trick with that line?"

"Want to help me out here Effy Lou? Tell me something that will prove to Spencer that you and I are speaking to each other."

Ten couldn't wait to hear what Spencer's aunt was about to tell him.

"The juicier the better,"

Ronan added.

"He's quite the snack, your husband,"

Effy Lou said.

"Everyone says the same thing."

Ten rolled his eyes. "Effy Lou thinks you're a snack."

Ronan sat up straighter. "Thanks, Effy Lou. I try to take care of myself."

"What about me?"

Jude asked. "Does she think I'm a snack too?"

Effy Lou laughed at Jude. "He's not a snack, more like a jackhammer, pounding you all night. If you catch my drift."

"I'm definitely catching your drift."

Ten turned to Jude. "You're a jackhammer, not a snack."

Jude burst out laughing. "That's the sweetest thing anyone's ever said to me. Thank you, Effy Lou."

"I wish I'd known you boys when I was still alive and kicking,"

Effy Lou said, sounding sad. "But that's all just water over the bridge. Ask my darling nephew about the time I had to take him to the emergency room for burning his butt."

"Aunt Effy Lou wants me to remind you of the time she had to take you to ER because you'd burned your ass."

Spencer turned a shade of deep red.

"I'll take it from your blush that you believe that your aunt is here with us right now?"

Ten watched the young man nod his head.

"How did he burn his biscuits, Effy Lou?"

Jude asked, with a happy grin.

"Dumbass was trying to light his farts on fire. I found him just as his pubes caught alight. Ended up having to beat down the flames before his frank and beans went up in the conflagration."

Effy shook her head, as if she still couldn't believe her nephew had been that stupid. "Could have burned the entire house down that night. He's lucky he was only singed in a few places."

Ten laughed so hard that he was afraid he was going to pee his pants. There was no way this story was true. There was also no way he was going to be able to repeat it for a few minutes.

"My attorney's name is Franklin Haywood. He's over on Lexington. Don't tell my nephew, but there are a few surprises in store for him when my will is read. He's gonna need a trustee of sorts and I think your tasty husband will suit that bill just fine."

"I'll let him know, Effy Lou,"

Ten said when he was able to catch his breath. "I need to introduce you to a friend of mine. I have a feeling you and Bertha Craig will get on like a house on fire, no pun intended."

Ten noticed Spencer turn an even deeper shade of red.

"I'm right here, Tenny!"

Bertha Craig said. "I was the one who brought Effy Lou here today. Smack that stupid boy for me, would you? Toodles!"

With her trademark cackle, Bertha was gone.

"Your aunt said her attorney is Franklin Heywood. His office is on Lexington, do you know it?"

Ten asked.

Spencer nodded. "You're not gonna tell them what my aunt said, are you?"

His cocky look was long gone, replaced by the young man biting his lower lip.

"No, I won't tell them,"

Ten agreed. At least he wouldn't while Spencer was here. "Come with me."

Ten led the young man out of the conference room and into his office, where the box was sitting on the table. "Here's Effy Lou. Look, I know this isn't really my place to say anything, but your aunt loved you. She could have given the proceeds from her estate to an animal rescue or a food bank, but instead she left it to you. Try to do some good with it. Think about it."

"Yeah, thanks."

Spencer grabbed the box and practically ran out of the room.

Chuckling to himself, Ten headed back to the meeting room. He couldn't wait to see the look on Ronan's face when the told the tale of the singed frank and beans.