Chapter 9

Arya

I slammed my bedroom door and threw myself face-first onto my bed. Frustration ached in my curling fists, and I wanted to punch something. I kind of wished that something could be Tobias's stupid face! And yet, just thinking about that stupid face triggered the unsated desire he'd left me with, which only pissed me off even more.

I screamed into my pillow, hurling all of my anger, regret and longing into that muffled sound until no air was left in my lungs. And then I just lay there, limp and listless, totally exhausted.

I hated that I still wanted him. What if I had stayed? We could have talked it out. I could have gotten him to open up about whatever he was holding back. What did he think he needed to protect me from? Or was that all a lie, just some excuse to get rid of me?

Ugh.

I really was hopeless. I wished I could just forget about him, erase him from my memory. And my life. But after what he'd done to me on that lawn—

No! Not going there. It hurt too much to think about.

Knock, knock, knock.

I popped my head up off my pillow, holding my breath as I deliberated over who it might be and whether or not I was going to answer it. I didn't want to talk to anyone right now, but if it was Caesar or Celeste, I didn't want to snub them. Then again, it was too late for either of them to come calling.

It could be Ashlyn. She'd loaned me this dress and probably wanted to know how the date had gone. A topic I had no energy to discuss at the moment. And if that were the case, she would've just texted me.

What if it was Tobias? Maybe he'd come back to apologize for being a wishy-washy asshole. I seriously believed he had too much pride for that, and while I deserved a bit of groveling from him, I was too angry and wounded to hear any of it tonight.

Actually, it might feel good to yell at him some more. Just the thought had my muscles tensing and clenching all through my body.

Finally, I rolled off my bed and opened the door, prepared for any outcome.

Kendall stood in the hallway with his hands in his pockets. Okay, maybe I hadn't been prepared for that.

Did he know I'd gone out with Tobias? If he was here to give me shit about it, I was more than happy to unleash the yelling I'd reserved for Tobias.

But the hesitant, burdened look on his handsome face disarmed me, taming the raging beast inside me that only a moment ago was ready to bite his head off.

"What's up?" I asked, though, at this point, I wasn't sure I wanted to know.

"Celeste wanted me to give you a message earlier, but you were out," he said with a shrug.

"Oh." That caught me off guard, and now guilt coiled in my belly. I worked to remove the bitch scowl from my face and adopted a neutral expression instead."What's the message?"

He pursed his lips in a decidedly awkward gesture, making me feel as apprehensive as he looked.

"Celeste won't be able to tutor you privately anymore due to some new business that has come up, so she's assigned another mer student to tutor you instead."

From the tone of his voice, this didn't sound like good news. And it sure as hell didn't sound like it was him who was assigned the task.

I took in a bracing breath. "Who's going to be tutoring me?"

His shoulders stiffened at the top of a shrug, and he grimaced as he replied, "Letti."

Every ounce of composure I'd struggled to maintain flew out the window.

"What? No! Why?" I yelled, throwing my hands up.

Kendall squinted at the volume of my voice, then looked both ways down the hall before reaching for my arms and ushering me backward into my room. He closed the door and turned back to me with his hands raised in submission.

"Hey, don't shoot the messenger," he said with an attempted playful tone that fell short.

"I can't be tutored by that evil bitch!" I hissed, outrage rushing through my veins like searing venom. "You don't know what she did to me."

A crease sliced down his forehead, his eyes narrowing in concern. "What do you mean? What did she do?"

I was so livid I no longer cared about keeping their prank a secret. After everything that went down today, this was the rotten cherry on top, and I was all out of fucks to give.

"She, Adina, and Cora trapped me in the Simulation Room last night," I said through bared teeth.

"They did what ?" he exclaimed, anxiety paling his complexion.

"Yeah. I almost fucking died! And I would have if Tobias hadn't shown up."

He raked his hands through his sandy brown hair, examining me up and down for a moment with worry in his eyes. "Shit. Did you tell Caesar?"

I folded my arms against myself and shook my head. "No. I am not going to add ‘snitch' to the list of reasons for the rest of the mer to hate me."

He frowned and let out a long sigh. "Well, I guess I can't blame you there. I can't believe they did that to you. I should talk to them—"

"No, don't," I pleaded immediately, my temper cooling slightly. "I don't want them to know they got to me, and I especially don't want anyone defending me and making it look like I can't hold my own. I'll handle them."

I went to the edge of my bed and plopped down, running my hands over my face. "Why does it have to be Letti?"

Kendall slowly came to sit on the bed beside me. "My guess is because she's one of the fastest shifters and the most talented with water manipulation."

I began to shake my head repeatedly. "That's great. Just fucking great." I turned to him. "Why can't you tutor me instead? You haven't tried to kill me."

"Yet," he added, smirking when I rolled my eyes at him. "I actually suggested that when Celeste asked me to tell you. But she wants me to focus on my seer abilities. She wants me to be her apprentice after I graduate."

My shoulders sagged, deflated and defeated. I threw my head back and groaned. "There's really no point in going through with this. With Letti tutoring me, I'm not going to learn anything. She'll do everything she can to sabotage me."

"I wouldn't be so sure," Kendall said with a shrug. "If she were given a task—by Celeste herself—she would do everything she could to succeed. Failure is not a word in her vocabulary."

I shook my head, resigning myself to this horrible fate. "Well, if I go missing after one of these tutoring sessions, make sure Celeste knows who to point the finger at."

He chuckled, then sobered as he registered the lack of humor on my face.

He put his hand on mine, looking at me with sincerity. "I won't let that happen. I won't let anyone hurt you like that again."

While I had zero faith that he could actually keep such a promise, his vow touched me deep inside, caressing the wound Tobias's recent rejection had carved.

Kendall was such a sweet guy. He was everything that Tobias wasn't—noble, straightforward, kind. Floating in the gentle tide of his gaze, I knew he would never treat me the way Tobias had.

And at that moment, I craved the comfort he offered.

I leaned in and kissed him. His lips welcomed my advance, gently parting as I brushed mine over them. His mouth wasn't hot and forceful like Tobias's but cool and sweet, his rhythm mirroring my pace and letting me take the lead.

I relished the control he was offering, the security in knowing he wouldn't push me away but wouldn't take more than I wanted to give either. And that knowledge made me want to give him everything.

I paused our kissing only long enough to climb onto his lap, straddling his hips and lowering myself onto his muscular form. His arms wrapped around me, so strong and comforting, his hands sliding over the dip of my lower back with a gentleness that sent shivers racing up my spine.

A whimper escaped my lips, and I ground into the hardness that nudged at my bare pussy, remembering only now that my panties had long been removed. He groaned, gripping my hips to increase the pressure. It felt so damned good, and I was still aching from the need that had been so cruelly denied.

For the briefest moment, a voice in the back of my mind whispered that I should stop, that it wasn't fair to Kendall. But my desire shoved that thought aside. He wanted this. I wanted this. It didn't have to mean anything. We could just… be.

At that, I pulled my dress up over my head and tossed it to the floor. He kissed down my neck and between my breasts as his nimble fingers expertly unsnapped my bra. Then he hooked his fingers around the straps and slid them off my shoulders, trailing his fingertips down my arms with a tenderness that ignited every nerve ending in my body.

Every inch of my skin prickled with urgent anticipation, a desperate need to be touched, caressed, bitten—anything! When his mouth covered my breast, I gasped sharply, arching my back and thrusting my bosom up to give him better access to my aching breasts. He cupped my neglected breast with his hand, kneading it as his tongue licked over my nipple in the best way.

I scraped my fingers down his sides and under the bottom of his shirt, tugging it upward. He let me pull it over him, and I stole every second I could to admire the chiseled muscles of his chest and abs before he resumed his worship of my breasts.

My desire had reached a fever pitch. I needed him. I needed his body and his lust every bit as much as I needed his comfort and affection tonight.

Reaching into the tight space between our bodies, I pulled at the button of his jeans, snapping it open before tugging down his zipper. He growled over my nipple, the vibration rippling through me down to my core, intensifying my need to the point of pain.

Scooping his arms around me once more, he picked me up and laid me on the bed, kicking off his shoes and stripping out of his pants. He stood over me, his perfect body fully exposed, the sight of his large, stiff cock making my mouth water. His eyes raked over me, stopping at the apex of my spread thighs and staring with ravenous hunger.

I spread my legs even wider in invitation, not caring that my boots were still on. And if he minded that fact, he made no indications.

"Kendall," I whispered pleadingly, my chest heaving with my bated breaths.

My use of his name broke the enchantment of his stare, and he descended on me, lowering himself between my legs and claiming my mouth with much more abandon than before. The tip of his cock brushed against my slick opening, and I bucked my hips up, sheathing myself over the top of it.

With a groan, he plunged inside me, his dick filling me and stretching me with surprising pleasure. He held himself against me, his dick as deep as it could go and grazing that most sensitive spot in my core. And when he pulled back and slid back in, my eyes rolled up in my head.

He thrust with slow, rhythmic motions like the sway of a tide, each retreat and siege of his length against my inner walls stoking my need and drawing out my pleasure to maddening heights. All the while, his kissing matched the pace of his hips, his tongue invading my mouth in sync with his cock in my pussy.

He teased me like this for so long, I lost all concept of time. All I knew was the torturously slow pleasure he gave me, the languid movements of his body on top of me. My core tightened with frantic impatience, demanding release from this intolerable peak at which he kept me captive.

Finally, when my body could take no more, my pleasure erupted over the pinnacle, washing over me in a powerful wave. I moaned into his mouth, and he thrust harder and faster, extending my climax until, reaching his own end, he withdrew, gripping his cock and spilling his warm cum onto my belly.

He rolled onto the bed beside me, and we lay there for a moment panting and trembling in the aftermath of our pleasure.

Then he rose and grabbed his boxers up off the floor, using them to wipe his seed from my skin. Without a word, he set the soiled item aside and crawled back onto the bed, pulling me against his chest.

Now that the pleasure and need has subsided and the reality of what just happened settled on me, I couldn't help the guilt and anxiety that coiled in my gut.

He must have sensed it because he softly said, "This doesn't have to mean anything more than you want it to mean."

I didn't say anything, letting those words marinate, and instead nestled my head onto his chest.

No more words passed between us. He just held me, and after long moments, my inner turmoil faded, and I allowed myself to just enjoy what he was offering.

I didn't want to think about what this meant for me and Kendall, or how I felt about Tobias. I didn't want to hurt Kendall, but I needed him. I had used his affections to attempt to heal the wound Tobias had made.

Was I a horrible, selfish person for not saying no?