Chapter 10

Julian

An early spring breeze sent a chill over my arms, reminding me that winter hadn't completely given up yet. It was morning—an hour or so after sunrise—which was the perfect time for quiet contemplation.

Taking my pruning shears, I snipped another branch. There was a hidden comfort in helping a tree grow straight and true. I wondered if trees felt pain as rogue limbs were cut or if they were grateful not to have so much to nurture. The tree would be able to focus on growing in the right places instead of spreading itself too thinly and weakening its core in the process.

The same applied to life.

Growing up in California, my parents expected too much of me. It hadn't mattered how much I did to please my father—it was never enough. But the Skye's had taken me in, and I'd been able to focus on the important things.

Snip. Snip. Snip.

As I clipped branch after branch, I wondered at the irony of creating scars to make perfection. There was probably a lesson in that, too.

The orchard was already starting to blossom, the promise of a great apple harvest whispering in the leaves.

"And here I thought you'd have an aversion to mornings."

I nearly fell off the ladder I was pruning from. Catching my balance, my shears slipped from my grip and fell to the wet soil below.

I looked at the figure who stood a few feet away from the base of the ladder, momentarily disoriented. "Shea?"

She smiled up at me, her wavy brown hair spilling over her shoulders, which were left exposed by the Victorian-style lavender dress she wore. My heart was still pounding against my chest from the initial surprise of her voice, but her beauty struck me so that my pulse couldn't regain its normal rhythm.

I climbed down, staring at her all the while. "What are you doing here?"

Though her presence was comfortingly familiar, it somehow felt out of place. I wracked my brain, trying to discern why, but the struggle only confused me.

"I've always been here," she said, giving me an amused frown like I was the one who wasn't making any sense.

She held up a shiny red apple and flared her eyebrows at me before taking a bite. Watching her savor the juices as she chewed made my heart tug, and warmth filled my chest. I couldn't help but smile.

She extended it toward me with a flirtatious smirk. "Want a bite?"

The temptation to indulge her was potent, some visceral tug pulling me toward her, making me want to wrap my arms around her.

But as I drew closer, for a terrifying instant, it wasn't an apple she was holding in her hand but a pumping heart, blood dripping down the length of her arm.

I gasped and blinked, surprised to once again see a simple apple in her grasp.

"Julian? Are you okay?"

Something about this didn't feel right. No, everything about this didn't feel right.

I looked at my surroundings, truly examining them. "Wait. How did I get here?"

"In the orchard?" Shea asked, flipping her hair over her shoulder in that sassy way.

I shook my head. "No, the boarding house. I wasn't here before."

Shea folded her arms and swung out a hip. "I'm not sure I understand. Did you hit your head when you stumbled just now?"

It all came flooding back to me with sudden ferocity. Moments before this, I'd been trapped in a tank of water, drowning over and over again.

Or had it been an eternity ago?

"This isn't real. None of this is real."

I ran my fingers through my hair and hunched over, pulling hard. I felt the pain—it was as real as my drowning had been.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Shea rush to my side.

"Julian, what are you doing?" she cried, laying a gentle hand on my back.

I fell to my knees. "Hadrian! What have you done to me? Hadrian!"

Burying my face in my hands, I found myself sobbing. This trap inside the past was worse than drowning. The orchard had felt real. Shea had felt real.

"Julian?"

The question of reality faded away like steam in winter. I knew that voice, and it wasn't just in my head.

Looking up, my eyes caught sight of Alice. Her red hair was bouncing as she raced toward me from the boarding house. Shea had completely vanished.

"Alice," I whispered, new hope driving me to my feet. I no longer cared which reality I was in. Alice was here.

I sprinted for her, my legs filled with adrenaline, my heart beating with eager love that threatened to explode from my chest.

But, again, something was wrong. No matter how hard I ran, the distance between us didn't shorten.

"Julian!" she called to me, her voice traveling the distance that our legs for some reason couldn't. She came to a stop and reached a hand out. I did the same.

"Alice! Please, come to me!"

"I can't!" She shook her head sadly and dropped to her knees, her green dress melding with the grassy lawn.

The morning sky suddenly turned overcast, and cool raindrops began hitting my cheeks.

"She'll never come to you," another voice said, whispering in my ear. "But I am here."

I hadn't heard Marguerite approach, and as I looked up at her, I found her pale, smiling face framed by her platinum blond hair.

The falling rain fizzled out and the orchard disappeared. I was kneeling behind iron bars, staring up into Marguerite's icy blue eyes.

"I've always been here," she said softly, reaching a hand through the bars, waiting for me to take it. The way she echoed Shea's earlier words was too disturbing to contemplate.

Her face changed for a moment to Alice's, and I blinked a few times to see if my eyes were playing tricks on me once again. Alice stood before me, hand still extended. Without hesitation, I took her hand in mine, placing it against my cheek and closing my eyes.

"What's going on?"

My eyes snapped open, and I turned to see Hadrian striding toward us.

Alice removed her hand from my hold. I looked at her in anguish, stumbling back and slamming into the bars behind me. Alice had been replaced with Marguerite once more.

A wave of nausea struck me as I recalled pressing my cheek against her cold hand just now. The visual trick made me feel so violated.

"Julian's finally regaining some coherency," Marguerite told Hadrian. "He's not all the way there, but getting closer."

Hadrian threw a thumb over his shoulder. "Out. I'll take it from here."

"You sure you don't want me to stick around?" she asked, turning back and giving me a smile. "A woman's touch can be extremely helpful."

I gritted my teeth. "He said get out. So get out!"

Marguerite looked as if she'd been slapped. She stared pleadingly at me for several seconds, then reluctantly sped away like a dog with its tail between its legs.

Hadrian turned and watched her leave. We were in the dungeon, but I was the only one locked up in this particular room of cells.

"Now that's the Julian I remember. Passionate and cold, knowing just what he wants."

I grunted. "What did you do to me?"

I didn't remember leaving the tank or being brought to these cells. How long had I been here?

Hadrian stepped to the cage and squatted down, meeting me at my level, then cocked his head to the side. "I gave you an appropriate punishment. Something we agreed upon."

I pointed a shaky finger at my own head. "What did you do up here?"

A sly smile grew slowly on the vampire dictator's face, and he got back to his feet, beginning a slow and steady pace in front of my cage. "I watched you drown over and over again for an entire day. Six times per hour. That means you drowned one hundred and forty-four times. But that was three days ago."

I looked down at the rough concrete floor. "Three days? I have no recollection of them. Except for… vivid dreams"

"Oh, yes, we know that much." He tapped a device on his wrist.

I heard my own voice echoing in the empty prison room. "Shea?"

There was a pause.

"What are you doing here?"

Another pause.

The nauseating disgust I'd felt with Marguerite crept its way back into my stomach and climbed up my throat.

Hadrian tapped his watch again, and the replay stopped. "We've been analyzing your… conversations over the past three days."

I put my head in my quaking hands.

"There is much more than what I just played for you," Hadrian continued.

"That tank of water," I started. "It wasn't just water, was it?"

Hadrian snapped his fingers and pointed at me. "Right you are."

"So much for ‘not being animals'." I brought my angry eyes up to Hadrian.

"You must understand that I had the interest of all vampires in mind," the vampire leader said. "You've been off the radar for fifteen years. The hallucinogens I placed in that tank of water were put there so you would spill information that could be beneficial to our cause. And if you had ulterior motives, those secrets would present themselves in your… conversations."

My heart thumped in trepidation, my mouth suddenly going dry. I had no idea what I'd said over the past three days. Could I have revealed my true purpose for returning? Had I spilled the beans about Caesar and the school? Was there more about Shea than that scene just now?

That thought somehow frightened me most of all.

"It seems you are still very much attached to your past," Hadrian said. "Most of what we recorded were conversations with your precious Alice. But Camilla and her parents seemed to make an appearance from time to time."

Relief slowly crept over me. If I had betrayed anything about Caesar, surely that would've been Hadrian's first words.

"I am curious, though," Hadrian said, a note to his voice I didn't like. "Who is this Shea?"

My heart thudded against my chest, and I began to wonder how much the immortal organ could take. If Shea was on his radar, or Marguerite's, she wouldn't be safe.

When I didn't respond, Hadrian tapped the screen of his watch once more. I honed all my senses to the sounds emitting from it, burning with apprehensive curiosity at what horrible secrets I'd betrayed.

At first, I wasn't sure what I was hearing. The sounds were faint, muffled. And then I heard my own panting.

"Shea," my voice breathed, the intimacy with which I spoke her name making my cheeks heat. My voice said her name again with more longing, and the heat scorched its way through my chest and down to my groin.

I shuddered, both mortified and aching to know what happened in those hallucinations. Brief flashes sparked in my mind, like memories dulled and fogged by drunken stupor. A graze of her lips against mine. The sweet coo of my name on her lips.

And shameful guilt washed over me as I thought of Alice. I hadn't so much as wanted someone since she died. I'd thought that part of me was dead, too. But now, I couldn't deny the attraction I felt to that young witch that night we met. That I apparently still harbored. And it made me feel woefully treacherous.

"So," Hadrian prompted, dismissing the reply with another tap of his watch. "Who is she?"

I shoved my guilt into a box to deal with later, knowing I needed to give him an answer that would satisfy him. "She's just my mortal pet. Nothing more."

Hadrian nodded slowly, a smirk curling his lips. "I suspected as much. You're lucky Marguerite wasn't here for that little scene, or I suspect she'd have hunted down the poor girl by now. I, on the other hand, found it very…entertaining."

His chuckle filled my ears as panic at the thought of Marguerite's wrathful intervention splashed like boiling water over my face. I hadn't realized until that moment how protective I was over my little witch—I meant, the little witch—not mine . I would have to take whatever measures I could to keep her safe now that I was back in Hadrian's fold.

If I truly was.

"Fortunately for you, you passed the test," Hadrian finally said, slipping a key into the lock on my cage. "If you've had shifter dealings over the past fifteen years, they haven't been important enough for you to hallucinate about."

I slowly exhaled, careful not to let my intense relief show. My dealings with Caesar were pretty damn important, and if nothing else, I was grateful that my lascivious fantasies of Shea had overtaken them. I wasn't going to worry myself with what that meant at the moment.

The heavy lock clanged to the ground and the door swung open.

"Come along," Hadrian said, curling a finger at me. "We have much to discuss now that you've rejoined us."

When I got to my feet, I was glad to find that the shakiness was wearing off. I hoped that was an indicator of the hallucinogen levels in my body.

Keeping pace with Hadrian, I walked out of one room of prison cells only to step into another. I hated that the dungeon of Heritage Prep was littered with so many cages. I had to find out why their number was so high—and why they were mostly empty.

"The first thing we'll do is assign you an Initiate," Hadrian continued.

I grimaced. Apparently, I was getting pushed down to the bottom of the vampire ranks.

"You really think that's necessary?" I asked, knowing I was taking a risk speaking to Hadrian in such a way. "I want to be back out on the frontlines. I have work to do."

"You're not ready," Hadrian said evenly. "I need to know you're back in for good. You have proven your intent to rejoin us, but now I need to confirm your loyalty. You will take on an Initiate, and we will see where things go from there."

We made it to the staircase, passing a sneering Rory, and began the long climb.

"You're likely thirsty," Hadrian said.

And I was. I hadn't allowed myself to acknowledge that incessant burn in my throat before my fate had been confirmed. But now that I was free, I could sense the humans on the floors above us, their blood calling to me like a sweet siren song.

"Your Initiate will be your blood source," he added. "You'll find no blood bags here, and if you're caught sneaking any inside the school, there will be dire consequences."

I kept my gaze on the stairs. I loathed drinking straight from a human. It was too intimate of an experience, like a violation of the victim's rights. And though fresh blood was more potent, I felt dirty every time I'd had to do it in the past. Animalistic. Unable to control my urges.

"Very well," I said with forced pleasantness.

Remembering Caesar's wish to discover Hadrian's knowledge of the prophecy, I shifted gears. "I've been out of the loop for quite some time. What news can you tell me? Anything you think I may need to know about?"

Hadrian nodded. "We find shifters frequently, but never in large groups. Nothing that would equate to a school."

I shrugged. "Perhaps they learned their lesson after what happened in South Dakota." I hoped my tone didn't reveal the lie.

"No, those animals can't stay apart for extended amounts of time," Hadrian spat. "And we've caught plenty who have witlessly revealed such information. We've just been unable to find out where they are."

"So, there is a school then?" I replied with feigned ignorance. "I don't know your sweeping strategies, but the shifters must be hidden well if you haven't been able to catch them over the past fifteen years."

"It appears they've finally learned their lesson," Hadrian said. "They aren't hiding in plain sight. My guess? They've rallied the witches, and wherever that school is, it's being hidden by concealment spells."

If only that were the case. Then Shea would be safe.

"I thought shifters hated witches," I said as we entered the staircase to the lower levels of Initiate housing.

"Who knows what kind of alliances have been created among the shifters?" Hadrian said flippantly.

He's accurate as far as alliances go.

We made it to the first floor of Initiates, which meant I was assigned one of the more promising humans.

"Here we are," Hadrian said, letting me precede him into the room.

As I passed the threshold, I found that I was entering a common room. Luxurious chairs and sofas were placed in perfect symmetry, not one piece of furniture off. Dark, hardwood floors ran the length of the room, along with equally symmetrical, extravagant, blood-red rugs. In the center of the room was a long table made of solid wood.

Several Initiates were sitting down, engaged in quiet conversations. Others were standing and talking. But as Hadrian and I entered, the room fell completely silent.

"Good morning, most-favored Initiates," Hadrian greeted in grandiose fashion. "Today will be a great day for one of you: another vampire is ready to have an Initiate assigned to him!"

I looked around and found one thing in common among all the humans' faces—hope. They were all hoping for an assignment. It was the final step in proving their readiness to be turned.

And their eagerness disgusted me.

I had never wished for immortality and believed that any human who did had selfish motivations. No human-turned-vampire had ever set out to spend eternity ending world hunger or reversing climate change. Vampires had only ever wanted power and domination.

"Would Piper Adams please step forward?"

A tall, gangly woman from the left side of the room, who was an inch or two taller than me and looked to be nothing but skin and bones, stood up. She had sandy-blonde hair and freckles speckled across her cheeks and nose. Her almond-brown eyes were slightly magnified by golden-framed glasses.

Her eyes lit with excitement as she took long strides toward us. She was wearing a charcoal skirt that came up to just above her knees with a matching suit coat. Underneath was a simple white button-up shirt.

"A girl?" I muttered to Hadrian.

"A girl who double majored at Harvard in molecular biology and electrical engineering," Hadrian clarified.

"So, she's overconfident?" I whispered.

Hadrian sighed. "She's a genius."

The girl stepped directly in front of me. Her proximity made me uncomfortable, but I held my ground and looked up into her eyes.

"Piper, meet Julian Asher," Hadrian said. "Julian, meet Piper Adams."

Even though my hands were at my sides, Piper grabbed one and squeezed overzealously.

"This is the greatest day of my life," she exulted.

My eyes widened, and I shot Hadrian a worried glance.

She laughed, but the sound resembled a pig's snort more than anything. "I've been waiting six months for this, Mr. Asher. Six. Whole. Months."

I scratched awkwardly at my head with my free hand, wondering when Piper would let go. "I don't know exactly how I'm supposed to react, but one thing we're going to start with—don't call me ‘Mr. Asher'. Julian will do nicely."

Her eyes filled with wonder. "I can call you by your first name?"

"Um, of course?" I muttered. "That's what everyone else calls me."

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Hadrian bring a hand to his forehead.

"You see us as equals," she said, her amazement increasing.

"Far from it," Hadrian interjected. "You're an Initiate. Julian is a century-old vampire. You have much to learn and master before you're even close to being on the same level as he is. His preference in how you refer to him has nothing to do with your status."

She bowed reverently. "Yes, sir. Pardon my assumptions. It won't happen again."

"Excellent," Hadrian said, giving her a look down his nose like she was the scum of the earth. "You two will be working with each other for the next six months. A review will then begin to see if Piper is ready to be turned. If it's decided that she is worthy of it, Julian will be the one to take that action."

My stomach turned at his declaration, and I set my jaw firmly to keep my grimace internal. I would do everything in my power to keep that from happening. I'd made it this far in my long life without turning a human, and I wasn't about to start now. Even with a willing victim.

Which meant I needed to extract the information from Hadrian as quickly as possible and desert this cursed place once and for all.

"If you are found unworthy, Julian will drink every last drop of blood flowing through your body," Hadrian said carelessly, making bile rise in my throat. "Now, I will show Julian to his new quarters. When he's ready, he'll come down for you, Piper."

Again, the Initiate bowed. "I will wait patiently for him, sir. Thank you for this opportunity."

She gave me an excited glance, then stepped back to the chair she'd been in, picking up the tablet she'd left there and sitting down.

Hadrian turned around, and I followed him out of the Initiate common room and onto the staircase heading back up to the main floor of Heritage Prep.

"I thought you said she was smart," I deadpanned.

"Don't label her quite yet," Hadrian said. "Her excitement masks her intelligence. This is every Initiate's dream. You'll see just how smart she is as she gets used to shadowing you."

I detected the warning in his words. Hadrian may have assigned me to Piper for a reason, but I knew that the vampire leader had assigned Piper to me for other reasons.

"Sounds like she'll keep me on my toes," I said.

"Indeed."

We passed the main floor and continued through the main staircase, making our way up the front tower.

"There are several projects underway, and many teams of vampires and Initiates are working hard to increase our rightful dominion over the world. You and Piper have an important assignment."

Great. I'd have to get my hands dirty. Increasing vampire dominion was exactly the opposite of what I wanted.

"What would you have me do, Hadrian?"

The vampire leader came to a stop between floors.

"We've been experimenting," he said, drawing his blue eyes on me. Set in them was exploratory awe, which deeply disconcerted me.

"On what?"

"Hybrids," Hadrian replied with a flare of his eyebrow.

A knot twisted in the pit of my stomach. "Hybrid what?

"Vampire-shifters," Hadrian said, raising his arms to the side. "Our glorious future."

"But that's impossible," I all but stammered. "Any shifter that a vampire has tried to turn has ended up dying. Vampire venom and shifter genomes don't mix."

"But we are on the verge of figuring out the final pieces of making it happen. Which is where you and Piper come in."

I withheld a gasp, my pale complexion masking the panic that flooded my system. This was terrifying information. If Hadrian was successful in figuring out how to make vampire-shifters, nobody would be safe. Too many powers mixing together. It would create an uncontrollable abomination.

"Do you not share the vision, Julian?" Hadrian asked, menace hiding beneath the casual tone of his voice. "You seem forlorn at this grand announcement."

I realized my misstep as those deadly blue eyes bore into me. "To be honest, I'm shocked. I never thought such a thing was possible. And if this is what you want me to do, I'll get with Piper today and we'll get to work on it."

Hadrian smiled, seeming pleased with my obedient recovery. "Then I'll show you to your quarters and get out of your hair. Welcome back, my friend."

We continued our ascension, but I felt my spirits drop. Was this information worth contacting Caesar about? Or should I continue working on Hadrian about the prophecy? It was, after all, the information Caesar had requested.

Not yet.

It was Alice's voice in my head again, and I'd learned to follow it long ago. I just had to stay out of trouble until I had what I needed.

If Hadrian really was close to creating these fucking hybrid monsters, there was no question that I would have to intervene. I'd be obligated by my own moral compass to prevent such an atrocity. I only hoped I could do that without sacrificing myself in the process.