12. Thomas

THOMAS

Red little heart, black little soul …

W hat the fuck had I even been thinking, believing this could work? The further I got from Shelby's house, the more pissed off I got. She had dragged us into this and now she was unsure? Like, give me a fucking break.

I don't need this shit in my life.

I saw Kenley's texts but, at this point, I didn't give a shit what she had to say. I was done. So fucking done. There were too many things stacked against us to find any sort of long-term relationship. I headed to the club, figuring I could get some more interviews set up. I hadn't yet found a replacement for Leo.

"Hey, Thomas," Chase said when he walked in. "I didn't know you had a shift tonight."

"I don't. I needed to get out of my head, so I came in to set up some more interviews."

"Still haven't found a replacement?"

"Nope. I'm being so hyper-vigilant it's just taking a while."

"Well, there's no harm in that. Just don't keep yourself short for too long. Don't think I haven't noticed you picking up the slack. I'm sure some of the guys would love the extra shifts, so feel free to delegate."

"You're probably right. I guess I just didn't want to dump on them for my mistake."

"You couldn't have known that things would go the way they did. He had us all fooled."

"I guess. Anyway, I should get at it."

"Hold on a minute. What's got you all in your head?"

"Just the bullshit with Shelby and Kenley. It doesn't matter, I'm done."

"I'm really sorry to hear that, Thomas. I thought you guys had something good going."

"Yeah, I did too. Just goes to show sometimes you don't have a fucking clue what's going on."

"You're sure it's done?"

"Shelby started waffling and I don't need that kind of drama. The three of us just never seemed to be on the same page at the same time. How long was I supposed to wait around?"

"I guess that depends on whether or not you're bailing for a good reason. When Shelby talked to Raven, she said that you were the one who was unsure."

"I was but then I decided to give it a shot. I didn't know that the person who fucking pushed this was going to bail."

"Has she, though? Or did she just kind of lose faith that you and Kenley would come around?"

"That's not my problem anymore."

"I can't help but feel like you're giving in too quickly."

"I can't do it, Cam. I'm not going to stick around for someone who doesn't want me. Anyway, I'm gonna go."

"Okay. I'm here if you need to vent," he smiled as I headed to my office.

Is he right?

I couldn't let myself go down that particular rabbit hole. I spent the next two hours going through resumes and setting up interviews before finally going home. I was good and fed up with today.

Three days later, even Kenley had given up. I wasn't getting texts and phone calls from her anymore. I had just walked into the club when I stumbled across Mandy, one of my exes.

"Hey, handsome, how have you been?" She grinned. "It's been a minute."

"Hey, Mandy. It sure has been. I'm doing okay. What have you been up to?"

"Not much really. I've been working a lot of overtime lately and haven't been able to get to the club."

"I hear you. I've been doing some of that myself."

"I miss you, Thomas. What would you think of doing a scene, for old time's sake?"

"I—uh?—"

"Oh, shit. Are you seeing someone?"

"Nope. I'm not with anyone. You know what? Let's do it," I smiled. "It's been a long time."

"Public or private?"

I thought about it for a minute before deciding I wanted to do a public scene with her. Maybe a small part of me hoped Shelby or Kenley would see it and kick themselves over what they lost.

"It's been a while since I did a public scene. Let me go book a room and we can grab a drink if there's time."

"Sounds good."

I walked over to sign us up and grinned when I saw the room with the St. Andrew's Cross was available. I motioned her over as I signed us up.

"We're up now. Let me just grab my bag and I'll meet you at the room."

"Great!"

I popped into my room, grabbed my bag, and headed over to the room, leading Mandy into it.

"Strip," I ordered as I started unpacking my bag, laying the toys out on the table.

She slowly eased her shirt over her head, grinning at me as her tits bounced out. She was always a beautiful woman and, at that moment, I couldn't think of the reasons that things hadn't worked out. She slid her skirt down her legs to show off her uncovered pussy. She never was one for panties.

I dangled the cuffs from my fingers and grinned as she practically ran over. I worked to get the cuffs on her wrists and ankles and then hooked them all to the cross.

"Ready, sub?"

"Yes, Sir."

I picked up the lightest flogger and went to work getting her back and ass warmed up. She cried out each time and I chuckled internally as I remembered just how vocal she could be. When she was nice and pink, I picked up the blue suede flogger and brought it down on her back. Time and again the tails of the flogger struck her back and I paused when she screamed out.

"Color, sub."

"Green, Sir," she moaned.

I continued with the flogger for a couple more minutes before grabbing a leather strap. She cried out again as it connected with her ass and I smiled as red bloomed in its wake. By the time I was finished with the strap, her ass was bright red and I stepped closer to soothe her with gentle circles on it.

I glanced out at the crowd that gathered and paused when I saw Shelby and Kenley, their faces contorted with anger. Suddenly, I no longer wanted to be doing this scene. I quickly removed the cuffs, gathered my things, and led Mandy out of the room.

"What the fuck was that?" she hissed, stopping me in my tracks.

"What are you talking about?"

"You stopped mid-scene!"

"I'm sorry, Mandy. I got distracted and it wouldn't have been safe for me to continue."

"Fuck you and your distractions," she sneered, storming away.

So much for aftercare.

I only got about three steps further when I was met by Shelby and Kenley. They were pissed and I wasn't looking forward to this conversation.

"Are you fucking kidding me, Thomas?" Kenley snapped. "You ignored me for days and now you're playing with someone else?"

"What happened to you being all in?" Shelby added.

"Are you fucking serious? You're the one who wasn't all in. I owe you nothing ."

"What happened to giving her time?"

"I don't plan to sit around waiting for her to get her head out of her ass. I have every right to play with whoever I want to."

I watched in horror as Kenley burst into tears. I hadn't meant for that to happen.

"I risked everything to be part of this and you're fucking it all up," she cried, turning and practically running away.

"You just had to go and fuck it up, didn't you? It seems you're the one with your head up your ass. Three days after our conversation is all it took for me to figure out that I could trust you both to be in this. Three damn days. You couldn't have given it that long? I gave you lots of time to figure your shit out. Have a fucking nice life, Thomas."

She stormed off after Kenley and I stood there with wide eyes and my jaw dropped.

Did she have a point? Did I just wreck something that could be really fucking amazing?