11. Kenley

KENLEY

Teeth that are sharp, bite that is cold …

I was confused as fuck. From the very beginning, Shelby had been the one pushing this relationship. She was the one who insisted the three of us could be successful in it. Now, I've finally decided I'm all in and she starts pulling away?

What the fuck is going on?

My head was swimming and now I was as big a mess as I had been before I decided to continue with the relationship. I wanted to know what had her backing off. Maybe she'd decided I was too much trouble because I took so long to make my decision. Maybe this was how she was going to ensure the relationship broke down. I thought she'd wanted me as much as I'd wanted her. After that conversation, I wasn't so sure anymore.

I wondered if Thomas had made his decision yet. He and Shelby might have had a conversation as well and he'd hesitated with her as he had with me. I needed to talk to him and try getting to the bottom of this mess.

Kenley: Hi, Thomas.

Thomas: Hi, Kenley. I'm surprised to hear from you.

Kenley: Yeah, I'm a little surprised too but we need to talk.

Thomas: Okay, what's up?

Kenley: Have you talked to Shelby?

Thomas: Not since the three of us got together. Why?

Kenley: Because I just had the most confusing conversation with her.

Thomas: What do you mean?

Kenley: I told her that I had made my decision. I told her I was all in. Then she told me she didn't know what she wanted to do.

Thomas: What the fuck? She's been pushing for this from the beginning!

Kenley: I know! I thought maybe you two had talked and you hesitated with her like you did with me .

Thomas: I haven't. I'm sorry, Kenley. I never meant to hurt you. I also haven't said I don't want to be in a relationship with you two.

Kenley: Cut the crap, Thomas. The very fact you're not sure it can work makes it damn well seem like you're not in it.

Thomas: It means I have a lot to think about, just like you did. Maybe we should try getting ahold of Shelby and see if she'll talk.

Kenley: We're not going to convince her if you don't even know what you want. What the hell would even be the point in that?

Thomas: Shit, you're right. I'm still not sure I can do this but I am thinking hard about it.

Kenley: You better be because I think we're both going to lose Shelby if you don't sort your shit. This can work, Thomas, if you want it to. When you figure it out, you just let me know.

Thomas: I will, Kenley. For what it's worth, I'm glad you're in.

Kenley: Yeah, well let's just hope it makes a difference. Talk to you later.

He was right about needing to talk to Shelby but what would I even say at this point? Me being all in means nothing without also having Thomas. If he didn't hurry up it will all have been for nothing. I had no idea where I would go from here. Would I even be happy with someone else at this point? It might have taken me some time to come around but I was falling fast for both of them.

It had been a week since I'd spoken to either one of them. Shelby was flat-out ignoring my texts and I was too annoyed to even bother texting Thomas. I was starting to think it was over before it really ever started. I was beginning to lose hope that we could work this out.

When my phone pinged later in the afternoon, I was surprised to see Thomas' name. My heart rate jumped and I couldn't help but wonder if he'd come around. I breathed deeply and opened the message.

Thomas: Hey, Kenley.

Kenley: Hey. I was starting to wonder if I was ever going to hear from you again.

Thomas: I'm sorry about that. We have one bouncer on vacation and another out sick, so I've been covering extra shifts this week.

Kenley: You must be exhausted.

Thomas: It's been a long week. So, listen. I think we should talk to Shelby.

Kenley: Does that mean you've made your decision?

Thomas: I think we can make this work… if we can pull Shelby back in.

Kenley: That's awesome . I've been texting her this week but she's not answering.

Thomas: I haven't been able to get ahold of her either and I haven't seen her at the club.

Kenley: I even asked Raven but she hasn't heard from her either. She asked which one of us fucked up LOL.

Thomas: Sounds more like Sasha than Raven :P.

Kenley: Yes, but remember, Raven and Shelby are close. She's protective of her. Hell, she's protective of you too.

Thomas: I think we need to stake out her house. I swung by a couple of times but her car wasn't in the driveway.

Kenley: God, stalker much? LOL. Alright, let's go by after work and see if we can catch her. I'll meet you there about 5:30.

Thomas: Perfect. I'm glad we're doing this, Kenley.

Kenley: I just hope it's not too late.

Thomas: We can convince her. I'm sure of it.

Kenley: We'll see. See you later.

I was a ball of nerves come the end of my workday. I was terrified that she'd already given up on us. Thomas seemed pretty sure everything would be okay but I wasn't convinced. I hopped in my car and headed to Shelby's house, not surprised to see Thomas was already there. I got out of the car and walked over to his.

"How long have you been here?" I laughed.

"About an hour," he said sheepishly. "I wanted to be here in case she got home early and then tried to leave again."

"And I assume by the fact you're still here, that didn't happen?"

"Nope. Haven't seen her. Why don't you get in the car while we wait?"

I walked around to the passenger side and slid in. His sandalwood and musk scent filled the car and I breathed deeply, taking it in. I could be surrounded by that every day.

"Did you always want to be a bouncer?"

"Honestly, I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. I was a member at the club from the very beginning. One night, not long after I joined, there was a big fight. I dove in to break it up and Chase offered me a job on the spot. I fell into the management job about a year later after the old one quit and the rest, as they say, is history. What about you? I actually don't even know what you do."

"We've never really talked about our lives, have we? I work at the local community center with troubled kids."

"Do you like it?"

"I love it. I love that I'm making a difference in these kids' lives. A couple I worked with in the past are actually working with me now. My success comes from the kids' success."

"I think that's awesome. It must be very satisfying. Far more important than what I'm doing."

"I totally disagree with that, Thomas. You keep people safe and that's every bit as important. I've seen you intervene in many different situations and you always deal with them calmly and fairly."

"Thank you, Kenley. That means a lot to me."

"Of course," I smiled. "So, how long are we going to sit here?"

"I usually stay a couple of hours. I'm actually surprised that none of the neighbors have called the cops," he chuckled.

"Oh God, I didn't even think about that. I would be mortified."

"Meh, it's okay. The tinted windows do a good job of camouflaging the fact there are people sitting in the car."

"That's true."

We chatted the entire time we sat there, leaving disappointed a couple of hours later when she still hadn't shown up. After three days like this, it was obvious she was avoiding us, so on day four, we came later in the evening, ecstatic when she pulled into her driveway. We jumped out of the car and practically ran to ensure we caught her before she went into her house.

"Shelby!" I called. "We've been trying to talk to you for days."

She looked over at us and the expression on her face made it clear we were going to have an uphill battle on our hands.

"Did it occur to you that I just didn't have anything to say to you guys?" she asked flatly.

"That's okay. We're just looking for you to listen to what we have to say. After that, if you still want us to, we'll leave." Thomas said, hope in his eyes.

"Fine. You've got five minutes. Come on in."

We followed her eagerly into her house and the three of us sat in her living room. Thomas and I looked at each other, trying to figure out which one of us was going to start. I decided I would and took a deep breath.

"Shelby, let me start by apologizing. I'm so sorry I've made you feel bad. I can totally understand where you're coming from."

"I'm sorry too. I know we haven't made this easy on you."

"No, you haven't and, honestly, your apologies don't mean a whole lot right now. They're only words."

"That's not fair, Shelby. Yes, we're saying the words but you haven't given us the chance to prove we mean them. You can't judge us for something we can't have done yet," I reasoned.

"All we're asking for is a chance to prove to you that this is something we want."

"So, you've finally made a decision, then?" she asked.

"Yes, I have. I haven't been as happy as I am with you two in a very long time. I want to see where it leads."

"And you think you can let me Domme sometimes?"

"Well, I?—"

"Seriously? Get the fuck out," she hissed.

"You don't even know what I was going to say!" he exclaimed.

"If you were truly okay with it, you would have just said yes."

I looked from one to the other, trying to figure out what had just happened. It seemed like Thomas was hesitating but it was unreasonable not to let him finish his fucking sentence. She was acting like a grumpy toddler.

"Shelby, don't you think you should let him finish? Neither one of us knows what he was going to say. What I do know is that he has sat outside your house for days trying to talk to you."

"Your five minutes is up. Get out."

We watched in shock as she stood, walked down the hallway, and went into one of the rooms. She slammed the door and it was clear we were done. Thomas and I walked outside and I could see the despair in his eyes.

"I guess we have our answer," he said.

"Let me try to talk to her on my own. Maybe I can convince her to give us a chance. You better be sure of your decision though."

"I am, Kenley. That's what I was trying to tell her in there but she cut me off."

"She really didn't give you much of a chance, though it did kind of sound like a hesitation. Like you were hedging your answer."

"For fuck's sake. I wasn't . I can't seem to do anything right," he said with slumped shoulders. "I'm just going to go. Talk to her if you want… if she'll even come to the door."

"Go. I'll message you later."

He nodded and walked to his car, climbing into the driver's seat. I had no idea whether I could get Shelby to answer the door but maybe if I was obnoxious enough, she would. I rang the bell and knocked. Endlessly. I stood there looking like an idiot, but a determined one. After about half an hour, she ripped open the door and snarled.

"Was my leaving the room somehow unclear?"

"You were unreasonable and you know it. We can talk out here or we can talk inside but we are going to talk."

"You're being awfully pushy."

"And you're being a bitch. Let me in," I growled.

Her eyes widened and she stepped back to let me in. I couldn't believe that had worked but I was going for it.

"You made an unfair assumption, Shelby. You have no fucking idea what he was going to say."

"I know exactly what he was going to say."

"Bullshit. You cut him off before he could get a full sentence out. Do you really think he would recruit me to sit here for fucking days waiting for you if he hadn't decided he was all in?" I snapped, officially out of patience. "This is as new to him as it is to the rest of us but he thought a lot about it and decided he wanted both of us. Why can't you see that we want what you've wanted from the beginning?"

"He shouldn't have fucked us and then hesitated, Kenley," she said dejectedly.

"Shelby, he asked for time to think. "So did you. How is that any different? You finally have what you wanted and you're sitting here wanting to throw it away."

"How can I throw away something that never was. I need to protect my heart. Can't you understand that?"

"Of course I can! That's something I had to think about too. Give us a chance. You won't regret this."

"I don't know what to say. I'm scared, Kenley. I'm scared that I'm going to open myself up again and one or both of you are going to hurt me."

"There is no guarantee in life, Shelby, but are you really willing to miss out on something that could be great?"

"How do you know he's serious?"

"I trust him. I trust when he says he's thought hard about this and come to a decision."

"Maybe I was too quick to cut him off. It's just been so hard waiting on you guys."

"I know it has, and we're sorry for that. What matters is that we're here and want to pursue this."

"I have to think on this. I know I was the one pushing for this but I was hurt when you both kind of backed away. I have to decide whether I can trust you two or not."

"Okay, Shelby. I understand," I said sadly. "You just let us know."

"I will. Thank you for understanding, Kenley, and for being so pushy."

I walked out of the house, got in my car, and headed home. I had to think of a way to tell Thomas she needed more time that wouldn't push him away. I honestly believed that she was going to come around. I was starving by the time I got home, so I popped a frozen dinner in the microwave and waited for it to cook. I settled into the living room with that and a glass of wine before pulling out my phone.

Kenley: Hi, Thomas.

Kenley: Are you around?

I waited for a response and when I hadn't heard back after an hour, I messaged again.

Kenley: Thomas, I need to talk to you. I talked to Shelby.

I didn't hear back from him and I was so confused. When I climbed into bed, I was plagued by thoughts of them. This was getting ridiculous.

How did I become the one trying to make this work?