Chapter Sixteen

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

Pelinom Castle

H e was at peace.

At least, that's what he told himself. But the truth was that he felt anything bu t peace. Here he was, at his ancestral home, the fortress where he was born, and he expected a certain amount of comfort from the place.

You are home now. Be at peace.

Those words kept rolling through his mind, over and over, as he tried to convince himself that he was where he needed to be. Not out and about in Berwick, or at an unfamiliar castle like Felkington with people he thought were his friends, but here where his family lived. People who never lied to him or humiliated him.

He was never going to leave again.

His jaunt from Felkington earlier in the day had been rather fast because Felkington wasn't far from Pelinom. It was less than a half-day's ride, so he'd made excellent time. He'd been greeted by his mother and, surprisingly, his sister, Effington and her husband, Rod. Then he'd been attacked by three nephews when he walked in the door, Effington's young sons Reid and Rigg, the twins, and their younger brother, Ross. Julian had wrestled with lads he'd not seen since they were very little but they seemed to have no fear in trying to take him down, which they very nearly did when Ross threw himself into the back of Julian's knees.

He could still hear his sister laughing.

Truth be told, it had been a marvelous way to be welcomed home. It had taken his mind off his troubles, but only briefly. For even now as he stood beneath the light of a three-quarter moon and watched the landscape beyond the walls of Pelinom, he could only think of one thing.

Lista.

He was coming to regret fleeing Felkington without telling her what he thought of her and her games. That magnificent woman who had held his face in her hands and had told him she thought his eyes were beautiful. Like a fool, he'd believed her. He wanted to believe her. He wanted to believe that some woman, somewhere, would find him attractive with his oddly colored eyes and that name that still made some people whisper with fear.

De Velt.

The Dark Lord.

Mostly, he was angry at himself for letting his guard down, for believing the lies he shouldn't have believed. He was angry at himself for making a friend of Louis, who turned out not to be a friend at all. It seemed that all men were alike, liars or cads or both. The only men who weren't like that were family members and close friends, like Ashton and Anteaus. Never again would he trust anyone else.

Looking up in the night sky, he found himself speaking to the heavens, as he so often did.

"Papa," he murmured. "Mama says you watch over us all and I'd like to believe that, but I'm embarrassed that you saw that I allowed myself to be made a fool of. I wish you were here to tell me what to do, to make me feel better about the situation. But the truth is that I'm not even sure you could work your magic this time."

A soft breeze blew across the land, up the walls of Pelinom, lifting the hair that draped down over his right eye. Julian leaned against the wall, looking out over the landscape below.

"I thought she was the one I would marry," he said. "She was a remarkable woman, Papa. Beautiful, kind, intelligent. At least, I thought she was remarkable. She told me that she liked my eyes and everything else about me. I let her lull me into a false sense of security. I trusted her and that trust was rewarded with betrayal."

"I was wondering why you came home from Felkington so soon. Now, I know."

Startled, Julian looked up to see his mother standing a few feet away. She'd come up the stairs and onto the wall walk and he never even heard her. Slightly embarrassed, he averted his gaze.

"I wasn't trying to be mysterious," he said. "I simply wasn't ready to speak on it."

Wrapped in a heavy shawl against the damp night, Kellington came close, her fair face illuminated by the torchlight dotting the wall.

"Yet you told your father," she pointed out. "Even if he cannot answer you, he is listening. He is always listening."

Julian nodded. "I know," he said. Then, he looked up into the sky again. "It's strange. I feel his presence more heavily here, on the wall. Mayhap it is because it is taller and closer to heaven, but I feel closer to him here. He was always willing to listen to my troubles."

Kellington's lips curved with the hint of a smile. "You had many troubles, Julian," she said. "From the moment you were born, you had troubles. You were born early, you know."

"I know."

"I had been chasing Cole around and your father insisted I rest, but I would not listen," she said. "Cole ran out into the kitchen yard and as I came through the door, I slipped in mud from the rain we'd had the night before. I did not fall, but I strained myself. I could feel pain in my belly but I did not think anything of it until the middle of the night when you were demanding to be born. Papa did not have time to summon the physic, you came so quickly, out into his waiting hands. Did you know that? He was the first person to hold you, Julian. Next to me, you were the last person to hold him in return. I find that poignant."

Julian looked at her, great sorrow in his eyes. "I had not thought of it that way," he said. Then he sighed heavily and hung his head. "I fear all I've done is make a mockery of myself, Mama. Papa had such profound words for me before he passed and I've not been able to do as he asked. I do not know why… mayhap I am unable to. I really do not know."

Kellington reached up, putting a gentle hand on her boy's head. "What did he ask of you, Julian?"

"To find the greatness within myself."

"Did you ever stop to think that greatness is not what you think it means?"

He turned his head, looking at her. "What do you mean?"

Kellington shrugged as she pulled her shawl more tightly around her body. "Greatness can mean many things," she said. "It can mean perfection in battle or the love of your family. It can mean the love of a good woman or simply finding satisfaction with yourself. I think your papa meant that you needed to find your greatness… not anyone else's idea of it or their expectations of what it might mean, but yours alone. Does that make sense?"

Julian nodded as he thought on it. His mother always had a way of putting things so that he could understand. "It does."

She smiled faintly. "You have always put so much pressure on yourself to be perfect," she said. "I do not think you realized that, to your father, you were perfect. You just never saw it in yourself. That was why he told you that you must find your greatness when he really meant that you must find your happiness. You must find what makes you the happiest– no matter what anyone else thinks."

Julian sighed heavily, his gaze moving to the landscape below, the road that led to Pelinom's gatehouse. "I thought I had found it," he said. "I thought Lady Lista was perfect for me and that we would be happy together."

"What happened?"

His lips twisted into a wry expression. "She made a fool of me."

"How did she do this?"

He sighed sharply, starting to feel some angst. "Because there was another knight at Felkington," he said. "His name is Louis de Rhos and he is the son of the Earl of Sunderland."

"Sunderland?" Kellington repeated, recognizing the name. "Then his brother must be Ren de Rhos, the knight who married Audrie de Longley."

Julian nodded. "It is," he said. "Louis and I acknowledged that we both knew his brother had married the woman intended for my brother. In fact, I liked Louis. I thought he was an honorable and witty man. I enjoyed speaking to him and thought I'd made a friend."

"Then what happened?"

Julian rolled his eyes and looked away. "I went to find Lista this morning, at the request of her mother, and I found her in Louis' arms."

Kellington nodded faintly, realizing the situation. Or, so she thought. "I see," she said. "Lista had fallen for de Rhos?"

Julian shrugged. "I suppose," he said. "I did not ask. I saw what I saw and I left. There was no longer any reason for me to remain at Felkington."

Kellington frowned. "You did not ask?"

Julian wouldn't look at her. "Why should I?" he said. "I know what I saw. Lista was in Louis' arms and that is all I needed to see."

The shouts from the sentries suddenly went up, piercing the night air. Julian looked to the road leading up to the gatehouse purely out of habit and could see two riders approaching, followed closely by at least forty men. He wasn't close enough to see who they were but those at the gatehouse evidently recognized them because men on horseback and with torches rode out to greet them. As they came closer, it occurred to Julian that one of the riders was a woman.

"I think that's Addie," he told his mother. "I told Ashton to bring her home immediately."

He moved away from the wall, heading towards the stairwell with his mother behind him.

"Did Addie see any of this?" Kellington asked. "Lista and de Rhos, I mean. Does she know?"

Julian took the first steps down the steep spiral stairs that led down to the bailey, but he held out his hand for his mother.

"She knows," Julian said, taking his mother's hand and steadying her down the stairs. "She came to me after it happened."

"What did she say?"

Julian didn't want to answer her. He'd spoken about the situation as much as he wanted to because the return of Addington and knowing how she tried to talk him out of leaving Felkington was weighing heavily on him. Truthfully, he didn't want to see his sister.

He didn't want to hear her version of events again.

"You'll have to ask her," he said as they reached the bottom and he let go of her hand. "I'm weary, Mama. I shall retire for the evening and see you on the morrow."

Kellington called after him but he kept walking just as Addington and Ashton rode in through the great gates of Pelinom, followed by their escort. Kellington watched her son as he headed for the keep before turning her attention to her daughter as the woman brought her steed to a halt and dismounted. Addington spied her mother and made her way toward her, but Kellington simply stood where Julian had left her, lost in thought. Perhaps the only other person who could tell her what had happened had just arrived and she was going to get to the bottom of the situation.

Something told her that all was not as it seemed.

*

"It's not true, Mama," Addington said. "Julian thinks he knows what he saw, but that's not what happened at all."

Kellington had the courtesy to wait until Addington came into the keep before pulling her into the old solar that had once belonged to Kellington's father, Keats. Jax had left his mark on it over the years, but it had become Kellington's retreat now that the males of the family had passed on. Now, she faced her youngest daughter with the simple question of what had transpired at Felkington.

What Addington said did not surprise her.

"Then tell me everything," she said.

Addington was reluctant to tattle on her brother, but she did as she was asked. She knew it was for his own good.

"This morning, Julian saw Lady Lista in the arms of another knight," she said. "His name is Louis de Rhos and he is the son of the Earl of Sunderland."

Kellington nodded. "I know," she said. "Julian told me of him."

"He seems like a good man, Mama," Addington insisted softly. "He helped Julian fend off a Scots raid and he was kind and polite. I do not think poorly of him at all. But Julian saw him with Lista in his arms this morning and when I asked Lista what happened, she told me that she had twisted her ankle in the mud and Louis was carrying her into the keep. Louis said the same thing– that Lista hurt herself and he was helping her. It was not a passionate embrace that Julian saw, but one of assistance. Still, he does not believe it. He refuses to."

Kellington digested the information, an expression of distress crossing her features. "I was afraid of that," she said, sinking into a chair that had once belonged to her husband. It dwarfed her as she sat in it. "Julian has never been one to stand up to something hurtful. He learned that as a young lad. He would simply walk away from the situation rather than confront it. Your father tried to convince him to stand up for himself and to fight those who would persecute him, but Julian never did. He felt that it was safer to ignore it, to walk away from it."

Addington went to her mother, kneeling down beside the chair. "Julian is not a coward," she said. "Lista was very hurt when she realized Julian's misconception of the situation and she said… well, I know he is not a coward. I told her so. I think he was falling in love with Lista, Mama. I know she was falling in love with him. She is a good woman with a good heart and she only saw the good in Julian. But he's hurt her terribly with his behavior. She feels that if he really cared for her, then he would have asked her to clarify what he saw with Louis."

Kellington reached out, stroking her daughter's dark head. "But he ran instead."

"He did. I had to come home quickly to try to fix the damage done. We left your carriage at Felkington so we could move faster."

Kellington sighed faintly, thinking on her second-eldest child and his fragile heart. "The carriage is of no concern. Julian is a man grown now and has been for years," she said. "It is time he stopped behaving like that bullied squire. Addie, have a servant summon Julian to my solar. I will speak with him."

Addington nodded, scurrying off to find a servant, who was never very far away from the heart of Pelinom, the very solar that had been witness to so many battles and deeds and transitions. She returned quickly only to find her mother seated behind the big table where her father, and grandfather, used to conduct their business. Kellington had a vellum in her hand, reading it.

"I sent for him, Mama," she said. "Shall I remain?"

Kellington nodded, still looking at the vellum. "You shall," she said. "Where is Ashton?"

"I do not know."

"Send for him, also," Kellington said. "He met the de Rhos knight?"

"He did."

"Then I want him here, too."

Addington sent for Ashton, settling back into the solar in tense silence as her mother seemed to be occupied with whatever was on the table. The door to the solar was cracked open and they could hear the servants moving around, going about their business, but they also heard her sister's voice. No voice carried like Effington's. Addington pushed the door open, catching her sister's attention.

"Effie," she hissed, waving to her. "Come here."

Effington had her twins with her, one in each hand, and the boys weren't happy about it. When one of them tugged, trying to escape, she grabbed the boy by the ear and he howled.

"Do you know what these two have been up to?" she asked, aghast. "Stealing from some of the soldiers! Ross is the scout while Reid and Rigg rob them blind."

Addington bit her lip to keep from laughing at her naughty nephews, who were defiant to the end. "Where is Ross?" she said, trying not to grin.

Effington cocked a dark eyebrow. "Rod is taking a switch to him out in the yard," she said. "He ran from his father and that guarantees a fatherly beating."

"You'll not beat my grandchildren, Effie."

Kellington had spoken from behind her table, her voice rising from the solar like the Voice of Doom. Effington and Addington looked at each other, grinning.

"Just a little one, Mama," Effington called into the chamber. "He shall not suffer overly, I promise."

"I will ask Ross and if he tells me otherwise, then you had better tell Rod to hide from me until my anger has abated."

Effington and Addington broke down into soft giggles just as Rod de Titouan, Effington's husband, entered the keep with a small boy in tow. Rod was tall, excruciatingly handsome, with wavy, black hair and bright blue eyes. He also had an easy smile, something that appeared the moment he saw his wife.

"Ross has convinced me that a beating will do no good," he said, referring to his six-year-old son. "You'd think after six boys, the youngest one would not be smarter than I am, but he evidently is. I have agreed not to punish him this time."

That gave hope to Reid and Rigg, who looked at their father with great anticipation. But their mother wasn't of the same opinion.

"They have three older brothers who have taught them to be thieves and scoundrels," she told her husband. "Rafe, Reese, and Roan have taught their younger brothers terrible things and you do nothing about it, so it is left to me to do the discipline."

By this time, Reid and Rigg had gravitated over to their father, hiding behind him as their angry mother scolded him. But Rod did what he so often did; he simply smiled and took Effington into his arms, embracing her sweetly as she resisted him. She didn't want to be held, not even by her handsome husband, who laughed as she tried to push him away.

As this was going on, Julian emerged from the stairwell, having been summoned to his mother's solar, and the younger de Titouan boys rushed him purely out of habit. Julian saw them coming and tried to protect his knees, but Ross got in behind him again and he ended up pitching forward as Reid and Rigg pulled him down. At nine years of age, they were big for their age and strong as well. Julian ended up grabbing the twins by the hair as he stood up, staggering because Ross was punching the back of his knees.

"Effie," he said severely. "Control these wild animals you have produced or I shall cage them."

Effington was still trying to pull away from her husband. "Then cage them," she said. "It would serve them right since their father will do nothing about it."

Julian didn't have time to lock the boys up, so he dragged them over to their parents, forcing Rod to let go of Effington. He shoved the boys at them, slipping past and into the solar as Addington ran after him. She was the last one in the chamber, shutting the door and bolting it, listening to the de Titouan boys yell and pound on the door because they wanted in.

Julian shook his head.

"Effie is going to have trouble with them when they get older if she does not discipline them now," he said, rubbing at the back of his right thigh where Ross had pounded him. "Those three are monsters."

"They are the grandsons of Ajax de Velt," Kellington said. "Did you expect them to be docile creatures?"

She had a point. Julian fought off a grin as he finished rubbing at his sore leg. "Probably not," he said. "But I think I am crippled."

"You'll survive."

That was as much sympathy as he was going to get and he rolled his eyes, changing the subject. "I was told you wished to speak with me."

Kellington nodded, sitting back in her chair and fixing her son in the eyes. "I do," she said. "This is a continuation of our conversation from the wall walk."

Julian couldn't help but notice that Addington was still in the chamber. He cast her a long look, suspecting immediately what it was all about. She never could keep her lips shut. With an unhappy grunt, he turned to his mother.

"I have said all I wish to say about it," he said. "I mean no disrespect, Mama, but I do not wish to discuss this further."

He started to move to the door but a few words from Kellington stopped him. "But I do," she said firmly. "Sit down, Julian. Please."

He paused and, sighing heavily, moved for the nearest chair. Addington tried to stay away from him even though she knew he would never harm her in any fashion, but an angry Julian was a frightening thing. She didn't want him pulling hair or pinching, as he used to do when they were young.

He still wasn't beyond such things at times.

"What is it?" he said as he sank back in the chair, putting fingers to his forehead as if to rub away the headache that was sure to come. "Say what you will and get it over with."

Kellington watched her son as he massaged his forehead, his unhappiness at the subject matter radiating from him like a fog. "I have heard your side of the story regarding what happened at Felkington," she said. "I have heard what Addie has to say, also, and I must say that the two versions differ tremendously."

Julian sighed sharply. "What does it matter?" he said, looking to both his mother and his sister. "What does any of this matter? It is my life and I do not need or want any interference."

He caught Addington's eyes and she frowned. "Julian, I do not understand how you cannot admit when you are wrong," she said. "You thought you saw Lista and Louis in an embrace and I told you that he was carrying her because she hurt her ankle. That is the only reason he had her in his arms– so he could help her. What was he supposed to do? Leave her on the ground?"

Julian's jaw ticked dangerously. "I've heard the lies before, Addie," he growled. "I will not believe them again."

"Even if they are the truth?" Addington fired back. "You are blind, Julian, and what's worse is that your foolishness is of your own making. You created this misery for yourself because you created a situation in your mind that does not exist."

"You don't know what you're talking about."

"Neither do you !" Addington said. "That's the problem– neither do you but you're too stubborn to admit it!"

Julian looked at her, his eyes flashing. "Don't tell me what to think."

"Lista was falling in love with you, you idiot!"

They were starting to shout and Kellington put her hand up to silence them both. Frustrated, Addington turned away while Julian sat there and clenched his teeth.

"Julian," Kellington said quietly. "A wise and reasonable man would have asked for an explanation of what he saw. Addie seems to think that Lista and Louis de Rhos are honorable people. Would they not tell you the truth if you asked?"

Julian wouldn't look at her. "Why should they?" he said. "There is sport in making me the butt of jokes."

"But how would they know that?" Kellington said. "More importantly, what do they have to gain by doing it? You seem to think they are out to punish you or humiliate you for some reason, but my question would be why? What would be their motivation?"

Julian hissed and stood up, abruptly. "You just do not understand."

"Sit down, Julian."

It was not a request. Julian sat back down but he perched on the edge of the chair, refusing to look at his mother.

"As I was saying," Kellington continued. "They have no reason to make a fool of you. Addie says that Lady Lista is falling in love with you, so why would she want to humiliate you? When you were told she'd hurt her ankle, did you even look after her to see if she was well? She could have hurt herself quite badly and de Rhos was the only one available to help her. Does that mean they were deliberately trying to humiliate you?"

Julian's jaw ticked faintly. "Mayhap not."

Kellington leaned forward, folding her hands on the tabletop. "Tell me exactly what you saw that led you to believe they were carrying on behind your back."

Julian was starting to calm but he was still grinding his teeth. He didn't want to answer his mother, but he knew that wouldn't end well. She'd break him down and force him to answer in the end. Therefore, it was easier to simply get it over with.

"I came through the garden gate," he muttered. "There is an archway in the garden that leads to the vineyard. Through that archway, I could see them with their arms around each other."

"Were they standing?"

"De Rhos was."

"Where was Lady Lista?"

Julian shrugged. "At his feet," he said. "Mayhap she was sitting."

"Or mayhap he was picking her up from the ground where she fell."

Julian didn't say anything. He didn't have to because the logic was sound. He knew it so there was no sense fighting it. Kellington watched her son's profile for a moment.

"Julian, I know you've been bullied in your life," she said quietly. "I know there are people who have betrayed you and I know that is why you protect yourself. But you are going to protect yourself into a celibate and lonely life. I know it is difficult to trust people, but you must learn to do that. You must learn that not everyone is out to hurt you. I do not believe Lady Lista or Sir Louis were out to hurt you, but by your behavior towards them, you have hurt them a great deal. You have become the very thing you hate– rigid, cruel, and judgmental. Do you understand that?"

Julian shook his head, briefly, closing his eyes as if there were a sharp pain somewhere in his torso. His entire face rippled with pain.

"I know what I saw," he finally said.

"Do you?" Kellington fired back softly. "Or did you just assume?"

He did look at her, then. "I saw the woman I wanted to court in the arms of another man," he said. "I'd lowered my guard and was knocked back for having that trust. Now you are telling me I must learn to trust people?"

Kellington could see he wasn't going to relinquish what he considered the last vestiges of his control over his version of events. "You are trying so hard to protect yourself that you are going to strangle yourself with your good intentions," she said. "Long ago, your father had to learn to trust me. He'd grown up not trusting anyone, so it was very difficult for him. But he did not regret it. As it turned out, it was the best thing he ever did. All I am asking you to do is give Lady Lista that same opportunity."

"I may regret it."

"You may not regret it, too. Is she not worth the risk?"

Julian's focus drifted to Lista. He'd tried so hard not to think of her that when thoughts of her came flooding back, so did the angst and confusion and hope. So many things swirling in his chest. He could see Lista's smile and hear her laughter, the silly way she had of flirting with him that made him feel giddy. Like he was the only man in the world.

Was regaining all of that worth the risk?

It was.

But he was terrified.

"I thought she was worth everything," he finally said. "I was willing to risk everything. In a sense, I did. I let her get under my skin and I've never let anyone do that before."

Addington, listening to what seemed like a break in Julian's harsh stance, stepped forward.

"Julian, you know I would never lie to you," she said beseechingly. "Have I not always been your greatest protector?"

Julian looked at his younger sister. They were very close and he knew her heart, and she had always been fiercely protective of him. She was annoying and pesky at times, but she loved him.

He knew that.

"You have," he said.

"Then believe me when I say that if I thought for one moment that Lista and Louis were lying, I would be the first one to condemn them," she said. "I would tell you to run away and stay away. I would do what Papa did and put them on pikes so the birds could pluck out their eyeballs. Therefore, please believe me when I say that I believed them when they said nothing untoward happened. Lista hurt her ankle and Louis was simply helping her. I would not tell you this if it were not true."

Julian's gaze lingered on her and he could feel his guard lowering. As much as he wanted to continue his stubborn stance, even he knew that it was only because he was hurt. Shocked by what he had seen, he'd assumed the worst. That was the bullied, frightened young boy in him. The one who didn't want to be hurt again and again.

But maybe that young boy had been wrong this time.

The realization made him feel sick.

"You know that I trust you, Addie," he finally said, unable to look at her. "I know you would not deceive me."

"Nay, I would not."

He looked at her then. His broad shoulders lifted helplessly. "What should I do now?"

Addington breathed a sigh of relief, looking to her mother for guidance, but Kellington was fixed on Julian.

"Go back to Felkington," Kellington said without hesitation. "Go back and apologize for behaving rashly. Even if she does not accept your apology, at least you made it. That is what a mature, reasonable man would do. It is what your father would have done."

Now that Julian had realized he may have been wrong, all he could feel was remorse. Remorse and the slightest bit of panic. Addington had been absolutely right– he had been feeling something for Lista, probably more than he realized, which was why he had reacted so badly.

"Leave when the sun rises," Addington said. "I spoke to Louis after you left… he was very offended, Julian. He said that you did not deserve Lista and I fear that his resentment will cause him to pursue her even though he told you that he would not, so you cannot wait. You must return as soon as possible."

Julian looked at her. "What else did he say?"

Addington was reluctant to tell him. "I said that you were a good man," she said. "I told him that you had been hurt before and you were keen to protect yourself, but he said a good man would not have done what you did. A good man would not have been so quick to judge."

Julian's gaze lingered on her for a moment before he finally shook his head. "And he would be correct," he said quietly. "A wise man would not have reacted so abruptly, but I am not yet a wise man. I can be rash and stupid. Mama, I think you were right."

Kellington stood up from her chair. "About what?"

Julian watched her come around the end of the table. "You said that when Papa told me that I must find my greatness, mayhap he really meant that I must find my happiness," he said. "I do not know why that never occurred to me. I always thought he meant becoming the greatest warrior in the north, a great leader, someone well-esteemed like Cole. But mayhap that's not where I shall find my greatness. My path is different from my brother's."

"Indeed, it is," Kellington said. "If you realize that, then you are indeed growing as a man. That is all your father wanted for you, Julian. To not be afraid of life . To embrace it and to find your happiness. Even if it is not with Lista, you must give yourself that chance and not be afraid of it."

Julian hung his head even as he nodded. "I realize that," he said. Then he forced a smile, but it was a nervous smile. "It is difficult to allow myself to be vulnerable. I will admit that to you, but to no one else. You have always seemed to understand me better than Papa ever did."

Kellington put her hand on his cheek. "He understood you more than you know," she said. "You are his son with a tender heart, deep feeling and compassionate. Cole and Cassian cannot claim that, but you can. Whatever your greatness is, Julian, I have confidence that you will find it. Mayhap it is at Felkington. You will never know unless you try."

Julian nodded. Kellington kissed him on the cheek and left the solar, leaving Addington still there, still watching her brother, who seemed to be summoning his courage to return to Felkington and face what he had done.

She took a few steps towards him.

"Do you want me to go with you?" she asked. "Back to Felkington?"

Julian turned to her. "Nay," he said, though he was smiling. "Ever my champion, Addie, but I must do this on my own."

Addington smiled at him. "May I give you some advice?"

"Why not?"

Addington sobered. "Appeal to Lista," she said softly. "I do believe she is falling in love with you, so appeal to her growing feelings for you. Show her what I know– show her what a good man you are. I know she will make you happy, Julian. You must give her that chance."

He sobered, too. "I will," he said. "And thank you… for everything, Addie. I do not know where I would be without you."

Addington grinned as she turned away. "Lonely and bitter," she said. "No one else will pester you like I do until you have a wife, although Mama will try. But she does not pester as well as I do."

"That is very true. You are annoying."

"And you are dense."

"I love you, Addie."

Addington paused at the chamber door, giggling. "And I love you," she said. "But you are an idiot sometimes."

Julian just stood there and chuckled because she was quite correct. He really was an idiot sometimes. But he intended to change that if he could.

If Lista would allow it.

He was going to find out.