Chapter Fifteen

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

I t hurt to walk, but Lista wasn't going to let a twisted ankle keep her down.

Wrapped tightly by a servant, Lista favored the joint as she made her way down the stairs. Her destination was the great hall, mostly because she thought that might be where Addington was. She wanted to apologize to her for being so sharp and asking her to leave which, in hindsight, wasn't what she wanted at all. The entire situation with Julian had her unnerved and upset and rather than make an enemy of Addington, she'd rather have her as a friend.

And an ally.

Limping when she came off the stairs, Lista was nearing the south entrance to the hall when she heard someone call her name. Pausing, she saw Flora coming up the stairs.

The woman was smiling.

"I was coming to see you," Flora said. "May we speak privately?"

Lista had limited patience for her aunt. "There is no one around," she said. "Say what you will."

That didn't please Flora too terribly. She was hoping for more respect than that, considering what she was about to say. The smile on her lips faded.

"This is about your future, Lista," she said, sounding less pleasant and more threatening. "You can show me the courtesy of allowing me to tell you in private."

Unlike Meadow, Lista didn't cower to her aunt. "I have hurt my ankle," she said, annoyed. "Walking is difficult and that is why I told you that you may speak freely here. I do not want to walk more than I must. What is so important that you cannot tell me here? No one is listening."

To prove her point, she stuck out her foot, showing where the servant had wrapped it. Flora grunted and rolled her eyes, as if an injured ankle were no injury at all. But she didn't press further.

"Very well," she said, frustrated. "I had hoped to tell you this in a manner which would convey my joy for you, but since you are being difficult, I will simply come out with it. Your mother has given permission to Louis de Rhos to court you."

That wasn't what Lista had been expecting to hear.

Her eyes widened.

"She what ?" she hissed. "Without speaking to me first?"

Flora was unapologetic. "De Rhos is an excellent match," she said. "You should be grateful to your mother for having the wisdom and foresight to make this arrangement for you. You will be married into the Earl of Sunderland's family, Lista. Your husband could be the earl someday and that would make you the countess. Does this not please you?"

Lista was looking at her aunt in shock. The woman was essentially scolding her as she told her of the course her life was about to take and she could see the glee in the woman's eyes. Glee that Lista was in a situation beyond her control, something she did not wish to be part of.

That always made Flora happy.

"Nay!" Lista nearly shouted. "God… nay, it does not please me. I do not even know Louis!"

"Most women do not know their husbands before they marry them," Flora said with limited patience. "I did not know Lord d'Orbec before I married him, but we came to know one another. You will come to know your husband, in time. That is the way of things, Lista. You must accept that."

Lista was still looking at her aunt in shock, emotions now joined by disbelief and rage. "Why are you telling me this?" she said. "This is not your place. You are nothing to me. Where is my mother?"

She tried to turn away, to search for her mother, but Flora snatched her by the wrist. "Your mother is sleeping," she said, squeezing with her clawed fingers. "I am speaking on her behalf and you will listen. No more foolery, Lista. You are too old for most men, so be grateful you have one who is interested. It is your duty to marry and I will ensure you do your duty."

Lista could sense bitterness and malintent. When it came to Flora, that was usual. She fed off of power, like she was at the moment as she delivered Lista's fate. She liked having the upper hand and that delight oozed from every pore.

But Lista yanked her wrist from the woman's grip.

"You have no right to ensure anything," she said, her voice lowered into a growl. "I called you a worthless cow once and that opinion still stands. You are nothing to me or to Felkington. All you do is eat our food and spend my mother's money and if I had my way, you'd be out begging on the street. You are wholly unworthy of me and my mother, so don't push me, Woman. I will push back."

Infuriated, Flora reached up and slapped her. Without missing a beat, Lista swung her open palm at her aunt's face and slapped the woman so hard that she fell sideways. As Flora gasped and tried to catch her balance, Lista shoved her down by the shoulder so that she ended up on the floor.

A gloating aunt was one thing. A physical attack was quite another.

"I told you I would push back," she seethed. "Strike me again and I will make it so you cannot get up the next time. Am I making myself clear?"

Flora was frightened. For the first time in her life, she was frightened of Lista. She hadn't expected the girl to strike her back and now that she'd felt the force of Lista's hit, she didn't want to experience another one. This was the second time Lista had hit her back and she realized it would continue. She rolled onto her knees, away from Lista, and struggled to her feet.

"It does not change the fact that de Rhos has permission to court you," she said, straightening her dress as she moved out of arm's length. "If the man has any courage, he will beat you into submission. You never did understand your place in the world."

"Nor did you," Lista said, her eyes tracking her aunt like a cat tracking a mouse. "Get out of my sight, Flora. I shall speak with my mother about this and then I shall speak with Louis. I do not know how or why this came about, but I will get to the bottom of it."

"And I hear my name."

The de Rhos knight chose that moment to come off the stairwell, coming up from the courtyard below. Flora saw him and immediately scattered, leaving Lista alone. Quickly realizing she was with a man who had permission to court her, Lista simply looked at him, emotionlessly.

Louis smiled timidly.

"Greetings, my lady," he said. "I hope I have not interrupted something."

Lista was having a difficult time not viewing him as the enemy at the moment, the embodiment of something she very much didn't want to do. They'd only just discussed her fondness for Julian hours earlier and Louis had told her that he would not encroach on that. He'd made it seem as if he were bowing out, a man of honor. But perhaps she'd been wrong.

Perhaps he'd only told her what he thought she wanted to hear.

Lista pondered all of the things she could say to him, the roundabout flirting, the meaningless chatter, but all she could really come up with was the truth.

The unbridled truth.

She wanted answers.

"My aunt has just informed me that my mother gave you permission to court me," she said. "Is this true?"

Louis was standing at the top of the stairs, making no effort to come any closer to her. He nodded without hesitation.

"It is, my lady."

"Would you mind telling me how this came about?"

He sighed, faintly, perhaps knowing she would ask that question at some point but not thinking it would be so soon. Worse still, she didn't sound pleased, which wasn't a surprise. Louis knew of her fondness for Julian, but that didn't change his sense of determination. He still intended to court her, Julian or no Julian.

He was careful in his approach.

"Have you been told that Julian saw me carrying you back to the castle when you slipped in the vineyard?" he asked.

Lista nodded. "I have."

"And you were told that he assumed we were carrying on behind his back."

Lista's hard stance wavered. "I have."

Louis cleared his throat softly and leaned against the wall. "I saw him in the stables not long ago as he was preparing to leave," he said. "He was… angry. Truth be told, it was unreasonably so. You and I had done nothing wrong, yet he would not believe that. His sister, Lady Addington, was present and she explained to me that Julian has been humiliated before, by people he considered his friends. He thought that we were behaving dishonorably. He told me that he would not be made a fool of."

Lista's stiff stance broke with that disturbing and rather heartbreaking information. She hobbled over to the nearest wall, leaning against it to take the pressure off her ankle.

"Addington told me," she finally said. "Julian has terrible self-confidence because of his different eye colors. Truthfully, that never mattered to me. Julian is kind and witty, but also quiet and introspective. He's a remarkable man, but the fact that he would not allow you or me to explain what he had witnessed is greatly offensive. He is too quick to judge."

Louis shrugged. "Mayhap," he said. "I do not even know the man, but he was quite willing to believe I was dishonorable. You, too. In fact, I do not even understand how all of this happened. It all started when your mother told me that you wanted to bid me a private farewell and then…"

Lista's head came up. "My mother told you?" she said, interrupting him. "She told you that, exactly?" Although he had already told her that, it was finally sinking in.

Louis nodded. "You were in the vineyard," he said. "Your mother told me that you were waiting for me there."

Lista's eyes took on a glimmer of realization. "She sent me to the vineyard because she wanted grapes," she said, almost to herself. Then, the truth of the situation hit her. "God's Bones… she sent me to the vineyard and then she sent you to the vineyard under false pretenses."

Louis wasn't quite following her. "Then you did not wish to bid me farewell?"

Lista shook her head, but then she quickly nodded. "Of course, I would bid you farewell and thank you for your sword against the Scots," she said. "But never did I tell my mother that I wished to bid you a private farewell. She lied about that."

Now, Louis was coming to understand. "To throw us together."

"Exactly."

"And Julian saw it."

Lista put both hands to her mouth in shock, realizing the manipulation that had gone on. "I'm sure they liked Julian well enough as a suitor until you came along, as an earl's son," she said. "They set the stage to chase Julian away, making the path clear for you."

Louis shook his head at the level of deceit going on in this quiet corner of Northumberland. "Well, it worked," he said, somewhat exasperated. "Julian is gone, he accused me of lying to him, and I played right into your mother's hands."

Lista's focus lingered on him for a moment. "Then how did the permission for courtship come along?"

"I asked."

Lista processed his reply, and the situation, thinking that it probably wasn't her mother's doing as much as it was Flora's. The woman was sinister and manipulative, and now apparently out to control Lista's life.

She sighed heavily.

"Surely you see that you were manipulated into it," she said. "Surely you can see that this was a controlled situation. Louis, I will not hold you to your request. You were forced into making it."

He lifted his eyebrows. "Is that what you think? That I was manipulated?"

"Weren't you?"

Louis shook his head. "It seems so, but that wasn't entirely why I asked to court you," he said. "It was something Julian said– he told me that he would not be made a fool of and accused you of manipulating the both of us. When I tried to explain, he refused to listen. It wasn't so much the words as the tone… so incapable of understanding and forgiveness. So unwilling to give others the benefit of the doubt. It occurred to me that a man like that would make a miserable husband. He would make you miserable with his distrust. You told me once that you were fond of Julian and I respect that, but what I do not respect is the way Julian treated you. The way he treated both of us. He does not deserve you, my lady, and that is what changed my mind."

Lista could see his logic. It made perfect sense and some small part of her agreed with him. If Julian was truly so mistrustful of everyone, she would go the rest of her life with him walking on eggshells, fearing a time when she would make him suspicious. She'd been furious at him for leaving and thinking the worst of her, but time had a way of easing that anger. She'd only known Julian a short amount of time, but in that time, he'd given her something she'd never had before– genuine interest.

But he'd also taken something from her, as well– her heart.

The realization stumped her for a moment. She never thought of her heart as something to give, as so many young women did, but that was because she'd never met a man she considered giving it to.

That had all changed.

"I understand your position," she finally said. "And I am unhappy with Julian, too. I told Addington so. But if I remained hard and unforgiving, I would be just as bad as he was."

Louis shook his head. "Nay," he said. "You would be sensible."

"I am sure you see it that way."

"He is not coming back, Lista."

He used her Christian name without her formal title, hoping to emphasize his point, but Lista saw it as a manipulative move. Louis wanted her to stop thinking of Julian.

It wasn't that simple.

"What would you think of me if I told you that I could forget Julian immediately and accept your suit?" she said. "You would think I was a fickle, ungrateful creature who could give her affections away too easily. Is that truly the kind of woman you want?"

Louis shook his head. "Of course not," he said. "I realize it will take time. I do not expect you to accept my suit tomorrow or next week or even next month, but I will tell you here and now that when you are ready, I shall be here. I will wait for you, Lista. I believe you are a lady worth waiting for."

"How can you know that when you have only just met me?"

"Because I know a woman of character when I see her."

Those were kind words, but Lista wasn't sure she wanted to hear them. They didn't give her any comfort. If anything, they made her feel hurt and confused because something in those words signified the finality of Julian's departure.

He's not coming back.

Perhaps he wasn't, but Lista didn't want anyone else. Louis was a fine knight, but she didn't even want him at the moment. Perhaps with time that would change, but right now, her heart was with another and she wasn't even sure she could get it back. Her only hope was that Julian would cool down enough to realize he'd been wrong and he'd come back to her. She could pray for that, but it would be difficult with Louis hanging around, trying to pull her into his world.

She only wanted to be in Julian's world.

"I appreciate your candor, Louis," she finally said. "But I will ask something of you."

"Anything, my lady."

"Please leave me. I must have time alone to think and I cannot do that if you are around."

Louis didn't want to hear that but the gracious knight in him had him acquiescing. "If that is your wish," he said. "May I at least remain at Felkington?"

Lista didn't want to be cruel, but she really didn't want his interference. "If you promise to leave me alone until such time as I am more comfortable with your presence," she said. "But if that time never comes, I want your vow that you shall leave Felkington if I ask it of you, with no questions."

Louis hesitated a moment before nodding. "I will always do as you wish, my lady," he said. "No questions."

Lista smiled weakly, suddenly feeling fatigued and muddled. Her ankle was hurting and she wanted to lie down and think about the events the day had brought. She also wanted to think about her mother and aunt, trying very hard to orchestrate the world around them. Her world.

There was much to ponder.

"Thank you," Lista said. "Now, if you will excuse me, I will return to my chamber. I suppose standing on this ankle is more painful than I realized."

Louis came away from the wall. "May I lend assistance, my lady?"

Lista almost denied him but the truth was that she needed someone to lean on. Purely for the sake of practicality because if she didn't accept his help, she'd be hopping and limping all the way back to her chamber. Therefore, she gave a reluctant nod and held out her hand. But Louis bypassed her hand and scooped her up into his big arms, carrying her all the way back to her chamber.

Lista was not happy about it.

Louis was.

Somehow, Lista knew Louis wasn't going to give up so easily now that Julian was gone.