Chapter Fourteen

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

"W e should return to Pelinom," Ashton said seriously. "From what you have said, Julian is about to ruin his life. The man ought to know what he's doing to himself."

In the mostly empty great hall of Felkington, with only a few wounded still crowded into one corner, Addington and Ashton were standing over by the big oriel window that overlooked the bailey. Down below, they could see men moving about their business, repairing weapons or saddles or a variety of other tasks. The world was going on around them, normal for this bright and sunny day, but all Addington could feel as she watched them was turmoil.

There was much turmoil happening as far as she was concerned.

Peace and tranquility were a lie.

"I thought that, too," Addington said, still looking from the window. "At first, I did. But after speaking with Louis and Lista, I am not sure it would do any good. They are so angry with Julian and for good reason, but they do not know the Julian that you and I know. They do not know how caring and compassionate he is and how attached he becomes to people. They do not understand that he has been hurt and that he tries very hard to protect himself."

Ashton grunted. "At the expense of himself," he muttered. "I suppose I do not blame him for thinking the worst when he saw Lista in Louis' arms, but a rational man would have asked for an explanation rather than run off."

Addington looked at him. "Then you blame him, too."

Ashton lifted his shoulders. "He acted irrationally, in my opinion."

Addington didn't want to hear that, not from Ashton. "Then I shall go wrap myself around Louis and let's see how you react," she said rather hotly. "There is no crime in Julian wanting to protect himself."

Ashton put up a hand to soothe her. "I know," he said. "Let's not you and I fall out over this. We must think of Julian and what's best for him. What do you want to do?"

Addington wasn't quite cooled down yet, but she tried. She knew Ashton didn't mean his comment as an insult against Julian, simply the truth as he saw it.

"I think we should return to Pelinom and tell my mother what happened," she said, returning her focus to the courtyard below. "If anyone has any hope of convincing Julian he was wrong, it's my mother."

Ashton couldn't disagree. "Your mother has a gift when it comes to counseling her children," he said, making his way over to the window, his gaze drifting over Addington's hair, her profile. His heart softened. "I am sorry this has upset you so. You are always so concerned when it comes to Julian. You always have been."

Addington nodded faintly, catching sight of Louis as he emerged from one of the many doors in the courtyard. "He deserves to be happy and I think he is afraid of it."

"Why should he be afraid?"

"Because the greater the happiness, the greater the grief," she said. Then, she cocked her head thoughtfully. "Mayhap it is mostly the grief he's afraid of. He's had so much of it in his life. Even before Papa died, I remember my father saying that he wondered if his sins had brought down some of the torment Julian had to face."

"What kind of torment?"

Addington shrugged as she thought back over the course of Julian's life. "When he fostered, he was greatly tormented by fellow pages and squires," she said. "Cole and Cassian were, too, to a certain extent, but Julian's eye color difference is much more pronounced. The squires used to tell him that he had the eyes of the devil. One boy burned him with a hot piece of wood, telling him he was going to burn the devil out of him."

Ashton sighed faintly. "Boys can be cruel at that age."

"Cruel and hurtful," Addington said. "Hurtful to a lad who never hurt anyone, who only wanted to be their friend. I remember when Papa was dying, he told Julian that he had greatness in him but he needed to find it for himself. I wonder if Julian even knows how."

Ashton shook his head. "I remember that moment," he said quietly. "The burden on Julian was so great, greater than any of us. The entire de Velt empire staggered at that moment and he was the one to take the brunt. I suppose that's why I've remained at Pelinom even after my brother, Tristan, went home. Something compels me to stay with Julian. I was there for the most terrible moment of his life and I want to make sure he finds that greatness his father spoke of."

Addington looked at him. "Do you think he knows how?"

Ashton sighed heavily. "I think he has a gift for making a situation difficult for himself," he said. "Do I think he'll ever find the greatness within himself? I do not know. But I already see it. I have for some time. In the battle against the Scots, I saw it. There is no one fiercer than Julian in battle. He truly has the de Velt gift."

Addington could see the concern, the friendship in Ashton's expression. She was already quite fond of the man but seeing his concern for Julian endeared him even more. Her gaze moved over him, briefly, studying the handsome, blond knight. She was fond of him, of course, but he was also her friend.

She cherished that about him.

"Is that the only reason you remain at Pelinom?" she asked quietly. "Because of Julian?"

Ashton looked at her, watching her smile and coyly look away. He fought off a grin. "God knows, it should be," he said. "I've chased you up one side of Northumberland and down the other and still, you run from me. Why should I remain at Pelinom for a wisp of a woman who flirts with other knights any chance she gets?"

Addington broke down into soft laughter. "How else am I to get your attention?"

"You already have it. You have always had it."

"I have no way of knowing," she said. "It is not as if you have asked to court me."

"Give me time."

Addington lifted an eyebrow. "I will not ," she said flatly. "You've had two years, Ashton de Royans, and I swear I'll not wait one moment longer than I have to. In fact, I… now, look at that. Isn't that Lista's aunt?"

Something in the courtyard had distracted her. Ashton turned to see what had her attention, seeing Louis standing near the stables and Lista's strange aunt speaking to him. The aunt seemed to be quite animated, gesturing with her hands, as Louis stood like a stone and listened.

Ashton peered closer.

"I wonder what that's all about?" he muttered.

Addington was right beside him, watching the situation as well. "I told you that Louis was angry at Julian for assuming the worst when he saw Louis and Lista in the vineyard," she said. "He said he'd had no intention of pursuing Lista because of Julian's claim, but he went on to say that he should reconsider that stance. Ash… do you suppose that conversation has something to do with Lista?"

Ashton shook his head. "It is difficult to say," he said. "It could be any number of things. But one thing is for certain– Julian has made it easy for de Rhos to pursue Lista if he wishes."

"By speaking with her aunt?"

"Who will speak with her mother, more than likely."

Addington shook her head sadly. "Poor Julian," she said. "Louis is going to steal Lista from him."

Ashton glanced at her before turning away from the window. "As I said earlier," he said. "We must return to Pelinom and prevent Julian from ruining his life. If he is truly fond of Lady Lista, then he will see reason. If he doesn't, then de Rhos will happily take his place."

Addington could hardly disagree, watching the conversation below become more animated. It spurred her sense of urgency. "We must go now," she said. "If we leave within the hour, will we make it home before evening?"

Ashton nodded. "Mayhap after the sun has set, but not long after," he said. "Do you want to leave now?"

Addington's gaze lingered on Louis and Lista's strange aunt, who abruptly broke away and ran back inside.

She sighed faintly.

"I think we should," she said. "For Julian's sake. And Lista's."

Ashton wriggled his eyebrows in agreement as he turned to leave. He hadn't taken two steps when he abruptly stopped.

"And another thing," he said. "I shall speak to your mother when I am good and ready and not before. You will wait until I am ready, Addington. No more flirting with Anteaus de Bourne or any other knight that captures your fancy because you think it makes me jealous."

Her eyes twinkled as she looked at him. "Does it?"

"Of course it does!"

She giggled, biting her lip when she saw that he was mostly serious. "Then you must be ready faster, Ashton."

His eyes narrowed. "You will not force me."

"I am not forcing you into anything. I am simply stating a fact."

He sighed sharply and glared at her, indicative of his displeasure, before heading off to prepare their horses for travel. Addington took a couple of steps, calling after him.

"I will not wait forever!"

He was nearly to the exit. "Aye, you will!" he shouted back at her.

He was gone, leaving Addington in gales of laughter.