Chapter Thirteen

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

S he just felt silly.

Silly and clumsy.

Laying on her bed with her right ankle elevated on a pillow, and throbbing, Lista felt absolutely ridiculous for having twisted her ankle. With wounded in the hall, and guests visiting, it was a terrible time to be crippled with an injury.

Louis seemed to feel responsible, which was ridiculous in Lista's opinion. He was off trying to find someone to help her as she lay on that bed with her throbbing ankle, hoping it wasn't as bad as it felt. She had to laugh, an ironic sort of sound, when she realized she was thankful that Louis had been present because if he hadn't, she would have had to crawl on her hands and knees all the way back to the castle.

She would have made quite a sight.

At one point, she sat up and tried to stand up on the ankle, only to feel that same sharp pain shoot up her leg. Oddly, if she turned her foot slightly, the pain wasn't so bad, but it was still achy. Achy, she could live with. But that shooting pain was uncomfortable. As she stood there, leaning against the bed and trying to decide just how badly she was hurt, there was a knock on the chamber door. Before she could answer, it creaked open and Louis entered, carrying a bucket of hot water.

"My lady, you should be off that ankle," he said, lifting a dark eyebrow as he set the bucket next to a chair that was positioned near the hearth. "Standing on it will not help it."

Lista knew that, but she made a face at him, just because she didn't have a sharp answer for him. Once he set the bucket down, he came over to her and picked her up again, depositing her into the chair.

"Now," he said. "Get your foot into the bucket. While the water is hot."

Her shoe was already off, courtesy of Louis when he had set her on the bed earlier, so Lista lifted her leg and gingerly slid her foot into the water. It was hot and she hissed, but it felt good.

She sighed.

"Thank you for taking the trouble to do this," she said. "I fear that I have ruined your plans to leave early, but truly, you can go now. I will not detain you any longer and the servants will help me from here."

Louis didn't make any move towards the door. He acted as if he didn't hear her. Kneeling down, he moved the bucket slightly so her foot would fit more easily.

"Is that better?" he asked.

Lista nodded. "It is," she said. "Truly, Louis, you can leave. I hate that I have detained you."

"You have not detained me."

"But you said you needed to be in Kelso today. You must leave soon."

He was still kneeling, still looking at her foot in the bucket. "I am more concerned that you have injured yourself," he said. "Had my reflexes been faster when you slipped, we would not be in this predicament."

She shook her head. "That is nonsense," she said. "You are not to blame. I am, for being clumsy."

He didn't say anything. Instead, he was peering intently at her ankle, which was rather scandalous. Naked feet and ankles were off limits as objects of study for unmarried men and women.

"I am not particularly accustomed to modes of healing, unfortunately," he said after a moment. "I am better with battlefield wounds. Most knights are, in truth. We all receive basic training in such things, but this… I wish I had some knowledge to utilize."

He seemed somewhat pensive and concerned, which Lista thought was sweet. She'd told him that if there had never been a Julian, she might very well allow Louis to court her. She could see that he was a kind individual and she didn't sense that it was a pretense.

But he wasn't sweet enough for her to throw over Julian.

He had all of her attention.

"Truly, you needn't worry," she said. "I am a fast healer. I am certain I will be walking tomorrow with ease."

"I hope so."

"That is kind of you to say so."

He looked up at her as if he wanted to say something more. There was a glimmer in his eyes that was curious and intense. Lista lifted her eyebrows expectantly, prepared for something to come forth, when Addington suddenly entered the chamber.

Her focus was on Louis.

"You will leave us," she said.

It was a command. There was no mistake. Louis' gaze moved to her and, obediently, he stood. But he was looking at Addington strangely. Challenging. As if he took her command as a challenge. Suddenly, there was something strange in the air, something tense. It was there for a moment, quickly gone as he left the chamber, as silent as the grave.

Lista looked at Addington curiously.

"Why did you order him out like that?" she said. "What is amiss?"

Addington went to the chamber door and shut it, throwing the bolt. When she turned to Lista, it was with a good deal of restraint, of contemplation, and of limited patience.

She was a woman with a good deal on her mind.

"Lista," she said. "I want you to tell me what happened in the vineyard."

Lista could tell by the tone of her voice that something was wrong. "I slipped in the mud," she said, pointing to her foot in the bucket of hot water. "I wrenched my ankle. Why?"

Addington listened carefully, still standing at the door. When Lista was finished, she came closer, her gaze intense.

"But why were you in the vineyard?" she asked.

"Because my mother said she wanted some grapes so I went to fetch them," she said. "Addie, what is wrong? Why the questions?"

Addington wasn't finished with her interrogation yet. "And why was Louis there?"

Lista was becoming the least bit perturbed that Addington seemed to be avoiding her questions. "He said my mother sent him to say farewell to me," she said. "Nay… that is not exactly what he said. He said my mother told him that I wanted to bid him farewell."

"And did you?"

"I am not answering another question until you tell me what is wrong."

It was a standoff. Lista was taking a stand against Addington, who was behaving most strangely. Addington could see that she wasn't going to go any further, but she was still brittle from her conversations with Julian and, subsequently, Louis. She didn't sense any evasiveness or deception on the part of Lista because the woman genuinely had no idea what she was talking about.

"Julian saw you in Louis' arms," she said simply. "He thinks you've been deceiving him the entire time."

Lista's eyebrows lifted. "Me?" she said. "Deceiving Julian? Why, that's ridiculous. I've never deceived him with any thought or action, not in the entire time I've known him."

Addington was starting to relax a little, realizing that her take on the situation had been right all along. Julian had simply seen something and took it out of context.

"That is what I told him," Addington said. "But somehow, he saw you in Louis' arms and he thought… he thought both you and Louis had made a fool of him."

Lista had gone from shocked to immediate concern. "Addie, that is simply not true," she insisted. "I would never hurt Julian, not while there was breath left in my body. When Louis and I were in the vineyard, for a brief moment, I thought I saw Julian in the garden gate but he was quickly gone. That must have been when he saw us."

Addington sighed heavily. "He most certainly saw you," she said. "He saw you in Louis' arms and thought the worst."

Lista took her foot out of the bucket. "But why?" she said, feeling a great deal of angst. "Why should he think such a thing? I have never given him any reason to think so poorly of me."

Addington could see that this was becoming a big mess. "I know," she said. "But I told you that other women have treated him poorly. I told you that Julian was hand shy. I'm afraid my brother thought he was about to be struck again. It has happened before and he knows that pain. That humiliation. The worst part is that I think he's liked you more than any other woman he's ever known, so he's hurt. Very hurt."

Lista gripped the chair she was sitting on as she stood up. "Where is he?" she said, trying to walk. "Take me to him immediately, Addie. I must explain things to him."

Addington reached out to stop her, trying to direct her back into the chair. "You cannot," she said. "Lista, he left. He gathered his things and left."

Lista came to a halt, teetering to one side because it hurt to put her weight on her right ankle. "Where has he gone?"

"Home. To Pelinom."

The realization hit Lista and she looked at Addington with shock. After a moment, she lowered herself back onto the chair.

"God's bones," she muttered, bewildered. "He simply left? He did not even ask me what he had seen?"

Addington was feeling a great deal of sorrow at the expression on Lista's face. "As I said, he's been hurt before," she said. "I know it is a weak excuse, but he told me he was not going to let you make a fool out of him. He already had words with Louis, which is why…"

Lista looked at her when she trailed off. "Why what ?"

Addington took a deep breath, clearly reluctant to continue. "That is why I came up here," she said. "Louis was quite offended by it. From what I could gather, Louis must have asked if you and Julian were betrothed. He told Julian he would not pursue you, but when he saw how Julian would not believe the truth of what he saw, he said that Julian did not deserve you."

Lista stared at her a moment before averting her gaze. Addington couldn't help but see the tears forming as the reality of the situation began to settle.

"He did not ask me to explain, either," she said tightly. "He assumed the worst and fled."

"I know."

"That's not fair."

"I know, Lista," Addington said, trying to be of some comfort. "I am going to speak to Ashton and we will return to Pelinom and tell Julian that…"

Lista cut her off. "Nay," she said sharply. "You'll not tell him anything. He did not have the decency or courage to ask me to explain what he saw, and worse still, he simply assumed I was doing something deceptive and dishonorable. That is not something I would have ever assumed of him, in any situation, so I cannot understand why he did not give me the same courtesy. It was cowardly, Addie. Your brother is a coward."

Addington didn't like hearing that come from Lista, true though it might be. "Do not speak so unkindly of him," she said quietly. "He has been hurt many times before. He was trying to protect himself."

"I understand that, but it does not excuse his behavior," Lista snapped, more forcefully now. "Since the moment I met him, he has refused to look me in the eyes and I believed it was because he was self-conscious about his eye color. But now I think it is something more than that. Mayhap it is because he is shallow and weak. Mayhap it is better that I find out now rather than later. How dare he assume the worst of me?"

"He has never known anything else," Addington said. "His reaction was natural, at least for him."

That didn't soothe Lista. The more she thought on it, the angrier she became. "I do not need a man who runs whenever he is faced with a challenge," she said. "I do not want a man who runs whenever he is confronted with something he does not understand, afraid he'll be hurt. Nay, that is not the kind of man I want. Julian can keep running for all I care."

The tears were starting to trickle but she flicked them away angrily as Addington struggled not to snap back at her.

"Lista, I know you are hurt," she said patiently. "I cannot explain Julian's reaction more than I have. What more do you want me to do?"

Lista stood up from the chair and hobbled over to her bed, climbing onto it. "I want you to stop defending him," she said, trying not to openly weep. "I thought Julian was different. I thought he was sweet and shy. He did not care about my mother and aunt and their escapades. He seemed to care for me, as a woman. He gave me hope. He took my heart and gave me hope in return and now I see that the hope he gave me wasn't strong enough to stand up to his foolish doubts."

Addington watched Lista have a breakdown, covering her face and sniffling softly. She felt as bad as she possibly could because nothing Lista said was untrue. None of it except for the fact that she believed Julian to be a coward, although perhaps he was when it came to his heart.

That was something he protected fiercely.

But she didn't like hearing Lista speak so poorly of him.

"Lista, please listen to me," she said. "I have a feeling that Louis will try to make his interest known now that Julian has fled. Will you please resist him? At least until I can speak with Julian. Please do not break my brother's heart more than it already is. He has made a mistake. Should he not have the chance to redeem himself?"

"Why?" Lista said. "Because he gave me a chance to redeem myself in his eyes. Nay, Addie. He believes I lied to him. He did not even give me the chance to defend myself."

"And you do not have the capacity to forgive him?"

Lista looked at her, her eyes flashing. "Do not act as if all of this is my fault," she said. "I have done nothing wrong, Lady Addington. If Julian must protect his heart, then so must I. You cannot expect me to do less."

Addington was feeling horrible about the situation. A misunderstanding and Julian was going to ruin his entire life. She could see, in Lista's eyes, that Julian was ruining her life, too. There was more than interest and affection there.

She could see the adoration.

Lista had been falling in love with Julian.

"All I am asking is that you not do anything rashly," Addington said. "Do not do anything that you may regret later."

Lista wiped at her eyes and looked away. "While I am very glad to have had your company, my lady, I think it is time for you to go," she said, sniffling. "Thank you for the conversation and the laughter. I shall remember it always. But you will go home now."

She was essentially cutting Addington off. Addington knew it wouldn't be any use to argue with her, especially with such emotions involved. Perhaps Lista had known Julian just a few days, but those had been magical days. Sometimes one didn't need weeks or months to make up one's mind about someone.

One simply knew.

Lista and Julian had a connection not often found and to see it broken was a genuine tragedy. Addington turned and left the chamber, leaving Lista crushed and weeping. She couldn't do anything about Lista any longer, but she could do something about Julian.

She had to find Ashton.

*

"Lady Felkington, may I speak with you?"

Meadow was shocked to find Louis standing at her door. She was in the tower room with Flora because they'd found a stash of hemp leaf they'd forgotten about, so the sickly sweet smoke was beginning to fill the chamber again. That delirious wave of blue smoke was about to carry them away again. Before she could answer, however, Flora came up behind her.

"Sir Louis," Flora said. "We thought you were leaving."

Louis glanced at her. "I was, my lady," he said before returning his attention to Meadow. "However, I have decided to remain for a day or two, with your permission."

Meadow was surprised by the request but she nodded when Flora elbowed her in the back. "Of course, my lord," she said. "You are welcome at Felkington."

"Fuckington," Flora muttered, snorting at her usual vulgar joke.

Louis heard the crack but he ignored it. "Thank you, my lady," he said. "I will come right to the point of my request to remain. I would ask permission to speak to Lady Lista with the intention of courting her."

Flora stopped snorting, looking at Louis in delight and surprise, as Meadow's eyes widened. "You… you would like to court my daughter?" she asked in awe.

"Only if she is agreeable, my lady."

Meadow's mouth had popped open into a shocked "O" and she looked at Flora, who was nodding emphatically. Meadow had to take a breath and drink it all in even though they'd manipulated the situation for this very reason. The triangle between Lista and Julian and Louis had just come to its hoped-for conclusion and they could not be more thrilled. At least, Flora was thrilled. Meadow stood there in stunned silence as Flora pulled Louis into the chamber.

"Please, Sir Louis," she said. "Please come in and sit. It seems that your interest in Lista has come rather suddenly, but it is not unwelcome. We did not even know of you before the Scots' raid."

Louis allowed himself to be pulled into the strange-smelling, cluttered chamber. There was a chair, only one chair, and Flora directed him into it. He sat, but the chair was old and decrepit and groaned under his weight, so he wisely stood up again.

"I realize this seems sudden, my lady," he said. "Mayhap it is even rash, but I assure you, I am not a reckless man. I am sure you would agree that Lady Lista is an eligible young woman of unique talent and charm. Frankly, I am surprised that she is not married already."

Flora was looking at him eagerly. "She's simply not found the right man," she said. "Mayhap that is you, Sir Louis. We would be glad to know what you have to offer her, as a husband. Sunderland is quite wealthy and prestigious."

Louis thought the woman looked much like a predator and he wasn't sure he liked it. Certainly, he'd gathered that the pair of women were strange during the time he'd spent at Felkington, but Lady d'Orbec was looking at him… hungrily.

He'd seen that look before.

"I am the second eldest son of the earl, my father," he said evenly. "My brother will inherit the title but I will be his heir unless he has male children. Even so, my father has gifted me with lands and a title that is within his power to grant. I am Lord Penshaw and I have a small outpost not far from my father's seat of Herrington Castle. As my father believes that all of his male children must have a source of income, and work for it, I have two villages and several farms on my lands. I am fair in the taxes I impose. In fact, more than half of my income is derived from my herds of sheep. I export wool at a profit."

Flora was practically bursting with joy from what she was hearing. "Then it seems you are a man of means, my lord," she said. Then, she looked at her sister. "Don't you think so, Meadow? Is he not more than worthy to seek Lista's hand?"

Meadow had been listening to all of it, unsure what to say. Certainly he sounded quite suitable, but Meadow had a blind spot when it came to her only daughter. She cared about the woman's feelings and if this wasn't what Lista wanted, then Meadow didn't want it, either– no matter what Flora said. That was usually where she drew the line if she was strong enough.

The question was would she be strong enough now.

"You seem more than suitable, my lord," she finally said. "Have… have you spoken to my daughter yet?"

Louis shook his head. "I have not, my lady," he said. "I did not want to overstep my bounds. I thought it best to come to you directly."

"And so you have," Flora said, answering for Meadow. "I am sure my sister would be more than happy to have you court her daughter. As she said, you are suitable and…"

"And you will let me make that decision," Meadow interrupted in a surprising show of courage. Her gaze moved from her sister to the young knight. "My lord, you will give me some time to mull this over and speak with my daughter. This is a big decision and I will not make it lightly."

Louis was perhaps surprised by Lady Felkington's show of strength but he nodded respectfully. "Of course, my lady," he said. "I have asked permission to remain at Felkington for a few days already, but would it be too much trouble to remain until you have decided?"

"I cannot promise you that I will make a decision in a few days."

"I understand, my lady. But may I remain, anyway?"

"You may."

That seemed to please Louis a great deal. "Thank you, my lady," he said. "I promise that I shall be no trouble at all, but rather, I shall try to be an asset to Felkington."

Meadow wasn't even sure what to say to all of that. Flora was practically foaming at the mouth, but Meadow wasn't quite so eager.

Things were starting to change a little with her as far as Flora was concerned.

It was true that Flora had kept her from killing herself in those days following Simon's murder. Flora had always been in control, telling her what to do and when to do it, but now… now, it wasn't only Meadow that Flora was trying to control. It was Lista and that didn't sit well with Meadow. Flora was trying to control the entire destiny of the House of de la Mere.

She wasn't entirely sure she was willing to go along with it any longer.

With a brief nod, she turned away as Louis excused himself and headed from the chamber. When he was gone and the door shut softly, Flora turned to her sister.

"Why are you so stubborn about this?" she demanded. "This is exactly what we'd hoped for. He is perfect!"

Meadow held up a hand to silence her. "For whom?" she said. "You? You're trying so hard to regain your position in court that you are failing to realize Lista may not wish to be courted by him."

Flora was outraged. "You are her mother," she said. " You will tell her who to marry, Meadow. Lista should have no opinion in this matter."

Meadow shook her head wearily. "I have a feeling she will have a good deal to say on the matter."

"Not if you do not let her."

Meadow didn't reply. She wasn't prepared to get into a battle with her sister who was both her protector and her bully. Deep down, she knew that Flora was correct and that Louis de Rhos was truly a fine candidate for her daughter, but she simply didn't want to make that decision. Not yet. Instead, she went to the bowl in the center of the chamber where the hemp leaf was burning and inhaled deeply, inviting that blissful stupor that it provided. It was escape from her world, escape from things she didn't want to deal with– or couldn't deal with, Flora included.

Sleep came because of the sweet-smelling smoke, carrying her off into the land of no pain, no sorrows. She vaguely remembered Flora leaving the chamber but she didn't pay her any regard. She drifted off as Flora went to find Louis, telling the man that he had Meadow's permission to court Lista. Sometimes, Meadow didn't remember what she said or did when she was intoxicated with the smoke from the hemp, so Flora used that to her advantage. She wanted to return to court, now as a relation to an earl, and she was going to use Louis de Rhos to get it.

To hell with her sister's reluctance.

As Meadow slept away the morning hours, Flora was wreaking havoc.