31. Ethan

thirty-one

“Give me your strongest whiskey.”

The bartender hesitated briefly before nodding.

I noticed the flicker of fear in his eyes. It was subtle but noticeable. Something that occurred each time I interacted with common people that knew who I was.

“A glass of Macallan rare cask coming right up, sir.”

He turned, gliding his thumb over bottles. My eyes followed his movement for a while before I turned in my stool, bringing my elbow from the marble bar.

The lighting was warm against the velvet sofas and mahogany tables.

The air was filled with the scent of exotic blooms and whiskey, complimented by soft jazz music.

The ambiance was everything I disliked. Still, it wasn”t enough distraction for me.

“Here, sir.” I turned to the bartender and picked up the glass of whiskey he slid to my end.

This glass was my third? Fourth? I didn”t know. I’d lost track.

I needed a distraction. It was why I was here.

Work used to be my distraction. It’d always been.

But it seemed I”d encountered something far greater. I’d encountered Evie.

I brought my eyes past the railing to the ground floor, where a few bodies littered.

Faint, vibrant music streamed through the floor.

You could tell that the patrons were having fun from the way they gyrated against each other.

Perhaps if I wanted a real distraction, I needed to leave this VIP section. Go to the ground floor… mingle… dance.

A small, humorless laughter escaped my lips at the thought. I never thought about odd things.

The guilt was very much still there, but it was worrisome that other thoughts—thoughts of her— were slowly overshadowing it.

The urge to have her in my arms waxed stronger every day.

The urge to see her… talk to her… reassure her that everything would be fine.

It shouldn”t be that way.

I should be blinded by guilt. I lost my best friend… hurt him.

I should be thinking of how to make things right… Not the opposite.

I was a terrible person– a bad friend.

But all this did not alter the reality.

I still thought about Evie, and not just because I was responsible for dragging her into the event.

What was wrong with me?

I downed the liquid. The burn from this one was hotter than the previous glasses.

It should get me drunk… to the point where I didn”t have to feel anything.

A small smile tugged my lips at a memory. It was one of me and James.

“I can understand two glasses, but more than that in one sitting? Count me out.”

James was a stress-free man. He never tried to live above his means, and he cherished his family beyond anything.

…plus you”re family too.

I recalled his words from twenty years ago.

He was wrong. Family would never do this to him. Family would not still think about his daughter after being in so much mess.

I was no family. I was a monster.

With a sigh, I downed the last bit of the whiskey. I still didn”t feel tipsy.

My eyes settled on a particular spot on the ground floor and I contemplated having another glass.

It was best not to. I”d been here since I closed from work.

I”d missed Sophie’s bedtime. It was time to go home.

Releasing a sigh, I turned to the bartender. “My bill.”

When he said it, I slipped a stash of money onto the counter.

I didn’t know if the tip I left him was enough, but from the small grin that tipped his lips, I figured it was.

“Thank you, sir.”

I breezed downstairs, past the ground floor.

When I got outside, I nodded at the valet who brought my car, entered, and started to drive.

The drive home took a little longer than usual because of traffic, but I was finally at the mansion.

Slowly, I opened the door and wasted no time in ascending the staircase to Sophie’s room.

I knew she’d be asleep. That didn’t stop me.

When I got to her room, she was sleeping peacefully.

I stared at her for a while before exiting her room. Instead of heading to my bedroom, I headed towards the patio.

A little bit of fresh air would do me good.

I opened the door to the patio when I saw Evie.

Her back was turned to me. She was in a long silk dress that emphasized the curvature of her ass.

She didn’t seem to notice me yet so I stayed rooted in my spot for the longest time.

What was she doing here? She couldn’t sleep?

“Can’t sleep?” I finally decided to break the silence.

She turned to me with a gasp, holding her hand to her chest. “Shit.”

Oh. Did I scare her?

I waited for her to recollect herself then she nodded. “I can”t.”

“Me too.”

She looked surprised. I didn”t need anything to know why. I”d, after all, been ignoring her.

She turned to face forward.

I didn”t like the silence that settled after. I also didn”t know what to say.

In that moment, the guilt of holding the threatening information from her overwhelmed me.

“Sophie’s improving...” She suddenly spoke.

“I don’t think…that night affected her progress. Her actions and reactions show she probably wasn”t there long enough to see…” She trailed.

The guilt quickly disappeared. I understood.

To see the violence.

“I?” I still didn”t know what to say. “I”m… sorry about that night.”

“The things we can”t control,” she whispered without turning to face me.

I paused. She wasn”t blaming me?

“The things we can”t control,” I repeated.

“But every other day after that, you could control.” Her whisper was even lower. I held my breath.

She didn”t say more than that.

I understood the meaning behind her words. I acted like a dickhead after.

I swallowed. I was torn at the realization that I treaded a thin fence, now there were sides to pick.

“I… it’s.. complicated.”

She shook her head. “Nothing really is. We just simplify the things we want to.”

I dug my fingers into my hair. “Thank you. Thank you for staying.”

She breathed but didn”t say anything.

“All this… that you do for Sophie, I don”t take it for granted.”

“It”s my job,” she whispered into space.

I stared at her… at the soft curves of her exposed shoulders, her slender neck.

“Me and Olivia, my late wife, didn”t really get along.” I moved to lean against the railing with my back.

I faced the door while she stared at the view beyond the patio.

“I mean, it was good at first, but then she just… changed.”

I felt her stare on the side of my head. “Sophie was the only good from the marriage.”

I didn”t know why I was saying this. But she risked her relationship with her father for Sophie.

She deserved to know…

“She became too demanding and simply just…made my life a living hell. Sophie was…still is my heaven.”

“The night she died, we had a fight. It was the usual, but this time, she confronted me drunk,” I swallowed. “We were at the edge of the stairs, and she kept yelling. She didn”t want to listen to anything.”

I blinked as if to blink away the images.

“She was angry. It all happened so fast. One minute, she was before me, then the next, she was at the end of the stairs, head twisted at an odd angle, eyes lifeless... And blood.”

She gasped.

“Sophie witnessed the event. And since then…” I trailed.

“I”m so sorry.” Her voice was barely audible.

I nodded, a small smile tilting my lips. “I”m not an ingrate, Evie. I know what you risked to help Sophie. I”ll never forget that.”

She nodded, rubbing her arms. “Are you cold?”

My eyes fell to her hardened nipples.

She nodded.

Instinctively, I pulled her closer, wrapping my arms around her waist.

I didn”t know what I intended to do, but as she pouted her lips, I lost it.

I connected our lips in an instant, bringing one arm to the back of her neck. Then angled my face to deepen the kiss.

Her hands moved to my chest, tugging at the ends of the suit. I wasted no time in yanking it off.

What was I doing?

I didn’t have time to think when her slightly cold hands cupped my cheeks.

With a small groan, I brought my hands to the back of her knees then lifted her.

The brush of her hips against my crotch elicited another small groan.

She plunged her lips into mine. I took it from there. Bringing a hand to her small waist, my tongue caressed her mouth.

My hands moved from her waist to her chest as I slowly backed her against the wall.

She arched into me. I kneaded her breast through the light material of her shirt.

Bringing my head to her chest, I took her clothed nipple between my teeth.

It took every bit of restraint not to yank her dress off and fuck her against the railings.

But that’d be fucking myself over...again.

When her hand slid down to hold my pulsing dick, I paused, then stopped.

With great restraint, I gently put her down.

“We shouldn’t,” I rasped.

We really shouldn’t. There were sides…I couldn’t pick hers.