32. Evie

thirty-two

“You”re saying you fucked your boss?”

I swallowed. “Yes.”

“Twice?”

“Yes.”

“And your dad found out?”

I rubbed my temples. “Yes.”

“Wh—”

“Emma, yes. Everything is just like I told you,” I sighed, resisting the urge to shut my eyes.

I told her everything, from Sophie to Ethan and Dad. She couldn”t make me regret telling her.

The silence that followed was unexpected. Suddenly, my heart picked up at a harsh pace.

Was she judging me? Was she blaming me?

I knew Emma wasn”t —

“Girl! Why’d you keep this tea from me for so long?”

I released a breath. “I”m supposed to be professional with him. It”s not exactly a thing to be proud of.”

“Pfft. Who cares about pride? Pride belongs to lions. Interaction, however, sexual interaction, belongs to humans.” she whispered suggestively.

After that day in the office, when I told her I wanted to talk, I chickened out. Instead, I just told her I missed mom.

I sighed. “But it”s not… right.”

“Your dad is the only issue I see here.”

“Emma—”

“You liked him, indulged, and think there’s a problem? I don”t think so.”

“Yeah, but he”s my client’s father, my father’s best friend, too. There are a million and one reasons I shouldn”t indulge. And… and Dad, too. It”s just... complicated.”

She hummed, taking her time before talking. “I thought he was just a fuck buddy?”

I stuttered. “W- what do you mean?” For reasons unknown to me, I cringed at the title.

She tsked. “But obviously, there are more feelings involved.”

My heart resumed its harsh pace.

“What do you feel for him? Love? Desire? Lust?”

I shook my head, blinking rapidly. The question was sudden. Too sudden.

I never allowed myself to think about it. The only thing I felt right now was guilt.

“The only thing I feel right now is guilt.” I gripped the hem of my nightie lightly. “I just want Dad and me to be like we were.”

She laughed. I felt stupid as I listened to the sound of her long, dry, humorless laughter.

“Bullshit,” she snorted. “I call bullshit.”

Bullshit…

“There”s a reason you finally told me all this. It”s because you”re confused. Confusion only happens when you”re torn between two things, Evie. I think you”re torn between the guilt that comes with your dad and something else that comes with your boss.”

This was certainly not what I hoped to hear when I spoke to her. I didn”t want to hear anything that”d give even a slight chance of…

“You don’t have to tell me whatever it is you feel for him right now. But denying it is only fooling yourself.”

I held my breath at her words. I had no response.

“Some things are worth fighting for, Evie,” she breathed. “Just… talk to your dad. You”re his daughter, even better, his only family. He’ll come around, Evie.”

Maybe he will, but at what cost? The fact still remains that I betrayed his trust.

“Yeah.” I licked my dry lips.

“I”ll talk to you later. I have to run a few errands. Bye,” she chirped like she hadn”t just disrupted my train of thought.

“Bye, Emma.”

I sighed and nestled in my chair before dropping my phone on the vanity. I let my mind run over her words.

Did I really feel anything more than lust? It was all lust, right?

He was handsome, and any woman would certainly want to indulge. I was no different from any other woman who was lusting after him, right?

Fuck. I”d never thought of this— I never allowed myself to think such things and only focused on the hindrances. His status with Dad, my status as a professional, and Sophie.

A strangled breath escaped my lips. It was going to take time to figure out what this thing I felt was.

Or even if there was anything else attached to Ethan.

But there should be nothing. If I wanted my relationship with Dad back, there should be nothing.

My finger, which now drew small circles on the vanity table, did nothing to tilt my attention to it. The little distraction wasn”t working.

I was home. Today was another day off. But I had nothing to do because Sophie was taking a nap. It was 2 p.m.

She”d been quite unorthodox in her routine lately.

She took naps more, and her demeanor wasn”t so stiff.

She even smiled more, not frequently but a bit more than she normally would.

Sophie was getting better— incredibly better. And I was happy for her. I couldn”t wait to see how much she’d change in two years.

Just as I had the thought, there was a pang in my chest.

Two years. This volunteering experience would span two years.

I’d be here for two years…

Would I be here for that long? What would the dynamics between Ethan and me be during the course of the years? Would it still be making out here and there? Sex? What exactly did I want?

And Dad.

Would he really come around?

Instantly, I was forced to recall the events of three nights ago— forced because I’d deliberately forced them out of my head.

It wasn”t healthy for me at this time to think about it, but now that I had questions, it was inevitable.

“We shouldn”t…”

That was what he said after…..he pulled away. It just showed how much of a weakling I was. He could pull away, but I couldn”t.

Despite knowing that it was wrong… despite still being filled with the guilt of what I did to Dad, I allowed it.

Honestly, I felt like a fool afterward.

What would Ethan even think of me, knowing the state of things between me and Dad?

God, this was getting tougher than I ever imagined. It was getting even more complicated.

But that night was different. Call it overthinking, but it was.

He’d opened up to me about his wife… his past.

It took a level of regard for anyone to open up about their past. More so a past like his.

Aside from the meaning that he trusted me, another thing I”d also termed his confession to was that he regarded me. That, at least, was a consolation. For what? I didn”t know.

Suddenly feeling thirsty, I stood up to get some water.

I grabbed a kimono, shrugging it on before strapping it below my underbust. Then headed out of their room.

I stopped at Sophie’s room to check on her. She was still asleep. With a small smile, I softly closed the door and continued my journey to the kitchen.

At least I was doing something right. Sophie was proof.

I descended the stairs with a bit of happiness and finally reached the kitchen. I opened the fridge, but before I grabbed a bottle of water, I heard sounds. It was faint… and recurring.

I paused my movements to figure out the direction and followed it. I took slow steps toward the pantry.

As I approached, the sounds grew louder. Like…muffled grunts?

I quickly grabbed a frying pan for protection and yanked the door open.

Shit. Today would be an unforgettable day.

Right there in the pantry was Virginia, bent over, and Joseph hitting it from behind. Both of them flew away from each other at my presence.

Virginia’s face was the human embodiment of a flushed emoji. She attempted to hide it behind her hair, but it was futile.

Joseph’s face was a bit flushed, but it was mostly guilty.

So, I wasn”t the only one fucking around in this house.

I didn”t know what to say for the longest time as I watched both of them.

“Oh,” I finally spoke.

“I uhmmm… just came to get some water.” I pointed at the fridge then immediately turned toward it since the air was getting awkward.

I heard footsteps behind me, but I didn”t turn.

I grabbed my water from the fridge, and a whole new train of thoughts was now running through my head.

Had they always been like this? I thought Joseph bullied Virginia.

Or was their sex also a compulsion by Joseph? Why were they fucking in the pantry anyway?

“Please don’t tell Mr. Thorne.”

Virginia was almost in tears when I turned to see her.

I looked at Joseph again. Honestly, he didn”t strike me as someone that would get horny, but I guess we’re all humans.

He walked away with a stern expression on his face, leaving me and a now-crying Virginia.

“We’ll lose our jobs if he finds out…and I need the money. Please do—”

“Relax, Virginia.” I managed a small smile. “I won”t tell.”

It wasn”t my place to say.

All I just wanted to know was how long, but I didn”t want to make her any more uncomfortable.

I waved the bottle in the air and let out a little awkward laugh. “Water... I”m thirsty.”

She just stared at me. I headed out of the kitchen. In a few seconds, I was back to my room.

Everything really was messy. Maybe I just needed a nap too.

The next time I opened my eyes, it was a bit dark. I washed my face and rushed to Sophie’s room. She was awake.

“Hi, Sophie,” I smiled. She gave a small smile in return.

“Did you enjoy your nap?”

She nodded, kneeling to look out the window. There were birds chirping on the tree. I smiled.

“You like watching the birds.”

“Yes.” Her voice was small. My smile grew wider.

After that, I read her a story. Then she had dinner, and I prepared her for bed again.

She was halfway asleep when I exited the room.

Just as I did, I saw him, Ethan, ascending the stairs. I didn’t know why, but I froze.

He looked exhausted. Lately, he”d been looking more exhausted than usual. His exhaustion was probably more than from the company project.

But when he reached me, I noticed his eyes. It was…sad as opposed to the usually blank look.

“Welcome home,” I greeted. He said nothing but stared at me.

I swallowed. It was probably best to go to my room. I didn”t know why I kept talking.

“You... look exhausted.”

“Move aside,” he gritted, shutting his eyes briefly.

I was taken aback. Before I could speak, he continued.

“Let me remind you, Miss Norman, you”re here for Sophie, not me. So I suggest you focus on your work for the remaining time you”ll be here.”

His voice was hard as he held my gaze. “Now, move aside.”

His words struck something in my chest. No, it struck everything in my chest. And it hurt…

The pain was unbearable, but somehow, it also made me realize … that I cared about him… a little too deeply.