6. Theo

CHAPTER 6

Theo

Theo would very much love to say he spends the next few days not thinking about Alec, but unfortunately that would be a lie. He's got a job he can't neglect and a huge report due soon, but in between working and drinking more coffee than is probably smart for someone with a brain like his, he thinks about Alec. About his smile and the sound of his laugh, and the way Alec can get Theo out of his head like no one else.

Every time he stops thinking about Alec, only a few seconds pass before he starts again, as if his brain refuses to move on. He replays the night of the party over and over in his mind like a goddamn movie, unable to forget the way Alec looked dancing. He thinks about helping Alec move in over the weekend a lot too, about what it'd been like to see Alec in a situation entirely outside the King family. And how much seeing him in his own element with his friends had shaken up the little box in his brain where Alec had always firmly been.

That box where his brain put Alec when he was little used to have facts about Alec like ‘ plays soccer, scared of the dark, sucked his thumb, little kid .' Now the box includes things like ‘ not a kid anymore, cooks killer breakfast burritos, makes Theo laugh, is beautiful .' Who knew all it would take was a few tacos, getting drunk off his ass, and a college move-in day to shake up everything Theo thought he knew about Alexander King?

After three days of letting his imagination run wild, he does more than just think about Alec. He puts his internet savvy to good use and starts looking up Alec's various social media accounts. Doing this makes Theo feel a little weird, like he's spying, yet that feeling is apparently not enough to deter him from doing it.

Theo tries to tell himself that the only reason he's doing it is because Alec is gorgeous, but there's a very large part of him that knows this isn't the full truth. When Theo looks at Alec's smile, there's a pang of regret at missing out on the man he's become, but more than that is a feeling he isn't used to: longing.

Looking at Alec's Instagram doesn't feel like crossing the line because he and Theo are technically mutuals, even if prior to this moment Theo hadn't logged into his own account in over six months and didn't know how active Alec was.

Alec's account is a treasure trove of photos and witty tags that leave Theo smiling, easily able to imagine the one-liners falling from Alec's sarcastic, pretty mouth. He spends so long scrolling he falls asleep with his phone in his hand, embarrassed to wake up the next morning to a blaring alarm and the dirty reminder of what he'd done when he unlocks it and sees Alec's face staring back at him.

Despite promising himself not to be a creep and do the same thing twice, he does it anyway. That night after he finishes cleaning up from dinner and showers, he finds himself once again scrolling social media, only this time he ventures outside of Alec's account. It's not long before he finds a photo of Antonio and Alec together and ends up clicking on Antonio's profile to find new photos of Alec. He's pretty sure resorting to looking for photos of Alec on his best friend's account, a guy who Theo is definitely not friends with, is crossing a line but there's no one to bear witness to Theo's treachery. Especially not Alec or Jason.

Embarrassed by his own actions but unable to stop, Theo turns the lights down low before flipping off the television in his room and ignoring the weird feeling in his chest as he sits on his bed. Surrounded by quiet and dark, Theo retrieves his phone and once again opens the app. Despite his slight misgivings about what the hell he's doing, he spends a good hour scrolling through Antonio's account in the hopes of catching a glimpse of Alec. He's not disappointed, finding almost more photos of Alec's face than there was on his own account.

There are plenty of pictures of Antonio and Alec with a pretty girl too, enough that even if Alec hadn't assured Theo there was nothing between them, he'd see that now. He ignores the ones of Antonio with his fiance in favor of seeking out the ones with only Alec in them. There's a particularly striking photo of Alec horseback riding through the fields during their trip to Mexico, a large brimmed hat obscuring his curls and his smile wide and free. There's another one of him flipping off Antonio while eating a mango, the juice running down his delicate fingers, that leaves Theo uncomfortably aware of his own body.

Every time he thinks he can't get luckier there are more, Antonio's account overflowing with photos from their trip. There's one of him playing soccer with a bunch of kids, one where Alec's cheeks are hollowed from sucking on his straw while he drinks something that looks like horchata, and even one of Alec shirtless jumping into a muddy river.

Photo after photo showcases Alec laughing and having fun, looking more relaxed than Theo has ever seen him. Where Alec's personal social media is more cultivated to soccer and food with an occasional thirst trap, the photos from his best friend show off a whole new side to Alec, one that's a lot more up close and personal than Theo was expecting.

Each photo leads to another, and soon Theo is tapping on random names and links. The sheer number of people who tag Alec on Twitter and Instagram is, quite frankly, terrifying for someone like Theo, who would rather die than ever be perceived by so many strangers. While some of them seem like friends or acquaintances, there are a slightly worrying amount of photos, tweets, and accounts mentioning Alec that indicate they don't know him but wish they did.

Some seem to be fans who follow college soccer and are more interested in Alec's player stats than his freckles and abs, but there's plenty of engagement from people thirsting over him with candid photos taken of him all over campus last year. There's even one of Alec sleepy and frowning at a camera, making it clear someone was taking a photo of him in the library without permission. There are accounts of betting on his odds of being scouted to the MLS, and one slightly unhinged faceless account on Twitter that rates the boys of Santa Leon University, which lists Alec as one of the sexiest guys on campus. Scrolling further, he finds Riley's now familiar face plastered along with Alec's and finds himself frowning.

Seeing the way strangers talk about Alec like he's a commodity, rating everything from his soccer skills to his body, makes Theo's stomach churn. No matter how much he tries to tell himself that he feels some kind of pseudo-older-brother protectiveness about randos perving on Alec, the truth is so much more complicated.

For the second night in a row, Theo finds himself up until one a.m. with thoughts of freckled skin and a cocky smile filling his mind.

It's been a long time since Theo wanted anything. He's spent a lifetime trying to tamper down his expectations, to be realistic and responsible and make choices that will ensure he doesn't jeopardize anything he isn't willing to lose. Yet with every thought of Alec, the longing grows and he knows that he can't deny the truth; he wants to know the missing parts of Alec, to fill in the blank spaces and the missing pieces and find out exactly who Alexander King is now.

A normal person would text Alec and ask to hang out again, but Theo isn't normal and he's never been good at that. The only reason he and Jason became best friends is because Jason asked and Theo said yes; the rest was history. Theo doesn't even have any close friends besides Jason, though whether that's because he's incapable of casual social interactions or deeply introverted is debatable. Theo tries not to think too hard about it. He's got a stable job, a group of friendly work acquaintances that are at least friend-adjacent, and he's got Jason. Every couple months when he gets tired of his own hand, he has a casual hookup, and that's all he needs.

Except if that is actually true, then why can't he stop thinking about Alec's smile?

More than once, he opens his contacts and stares at Alec's name. He's got his phone number. After helping Alec move a few days ago, something had changed. Spending time with Alec alone and with his friends had shown Theo a new side to Alec, one he isn't used to seeing around Jason. His brothers treat him like the baby of the family and it shows. With his friends he's more relaxed, and while his outlandish flirting and joking behavior was there, there'd also been moments of quiet conversation that Theo hadn't known he was capable of.

Before he'd left the apartment, Alec told Theo he had a good day. The implication that he would be up for hanging out again was there, yet something holds him back. If Alec had wanted to hang out again, why didn't he explicitly say so? Alec is always vocal about what he wants. He never holds anything back and can't keep a secret to save his life. Maybe he isn't interested in more than a semi-familial friendship with Theo. Maybe he doesn't want to hang out again.

That small possibility holds Theo back from texting Alec first. Even though Theo is fairly certain his offer to hang out wouldn't be straight out declined, he isn't sure where he stands. He also has no idea how one goes about asking someone to hang out if it's not a work meeting or a dating app hookup. Those both have expectations and parameters. This thing with Alec does not. Hell, all the plans he makes with Jason are made because Jason asks first, because he knows Theo won't. The sad truth is that Theo is shit at instigating anything when there is a potential for rejection, however minuscule.

There's also the little thing about Alec being Jason's little brother, which is maybe not such a little thing after all. Realistically, Jason would probably be thrilled if he thought Theo wanted to include Alec in some of their hangouts. And while Theo wouldn't mind that, what he really wants is something infinitely more complicated: he wants to hang out with Alec alone. Which begs the question, how in the hell is he supposed to hang out with Alec without any of his brothers around?

He can't even imagine how that exchange would go over. ‘Hey Jason, I've been noticing your baby brother grew up into one of the most attractive men I've ever seen. I had a wet dream about his freckled back, and by the way, would you be cool if we hung out without you?' Theo rubs his temples. Jason would be pissed off or get his feelings hurt, and either option makes Theo sick to his stomach. He can't hurt his best friend.

Besides, he knows Alec is over Theo. His little crush was years ago and Alec's a grown man now. It's just now that they're both adults and on equal playing fields, things are different. Too bad Theo's an idiot who took years too long to realize how sexy and fun Alec is.

With a frustrated sigh, Theo tosses his phone onto the far end of his couch out of reach. What Theo needs to do is get Alec out of his head. Thinking about his blinding smile, warm freckles and the impressive breadth of his muscular soccer thighs, is quite possibly the riskiest thing he's ever done. Even daydreaming about messing around with him feels dangerous; actually doing it would be the biggest mistake of his life. Either Jason would end up hating him or Theo would hate himself. Or both. Both is definitely the most likely option.

Of course there's also the part where Alec is long over his teenage crush on Theo and now has feelings for someone else. Something about a party boy is what Charlie said. Probably someone his own age who is extroverted and social and funny like Alec. Someone who is probably a dick, since he doesn't like Alec back.

That train of thought makes him think about the day Alec had confessed his feelings, laying his entire heart on the line before Theo had practically run away. He hadn't let himself be in the same room as Alec alone for months, and while it had been the right choice at the time because he was way, way too old for Alec back then and didn't have feelings for him, he probably hurt him. Of course Alec had been nothing but smiles in no time, so getting over his little crush on Theo clearly hadn't been too hard, but he still hates the idea he might've hurt him even a little bit. This other guy Alec likes now could hurt him, judging by the conversation he overheard between Charlie and Alec in the kitchen.

Thinking about Alec with another guy makes Theo's chest tighten uncomfortably. He might not be close to Alec anymore, but he watched him grow up. He knows he's something special and the idea of someone hurting him makes Theo more upset than it probably should. Blowing out a heavy breath, he chalks his state of mind up to protectiveness. He is Jason's brother, after all, so of course Theo doesn't want to see him hurting.

The more he thinks about it, the more certain he feels that all these messy confusing feelings are probably just being dredged up because of the party. The reminder that Alec grew up while Theo was busy avoiding him and becoming a man of his own is bittersweet. He missed out on so much, but that doesn't give him permission to feel possessive about who he dates or thinks about him naked. No matter the reason for his current predicament, it's Theo's alone to deal with, and he's dealt with far worse than a burgeoning crush on someone he can't have. While it's nice to imagine they might have more fun together whenever he does see him, thinking about anything else outside of those parameters is not only ridiculous, but wildly irresponsible.

Theo needs to forget the party, forget Alec and his ridiculous little frog timer, his perfectly organized kitchen and delicious breakfast burritos. He needs to forget how it felt to have Alec's full attention directed his way and get back to his normal life.

Normal. Familiar. That's exactly what Theo needs. Grabbing the remote, he flips through the streaming channels until he finds a new documentary about whales he hasn't seen. As the monotone narrator's voice fills his living room he slowly relaxes. This is fine. His life is stable and comfortable, and that's all he could possibly need.

"I need you."

"Who is this?" Theo asks, scrubbing a hand over his face. It's pitch dark in his bedroom and his glasses mysteriously are absent from his bedside table. He'd squinted at his phone to try and see who it was, but between his sleep-addled brain and poor vision he couldn't tell and answered the call anyway, assuming it was Jason.

It's definitely not.

"Who is this?" the other person repeats in a high-pitched tone. "I am so offended that you don't have me in your contact list that I'm tempted to hang up on you."

"Alec?"

"Of course it's me, Theodore."

Theo squints at his phone to make sure it's not a dream. He has to bring it very close to his face to see what time it is and confirm that the call is indeed coming from Alec's number.

"Why are you awake at five a.m.?" Theo groans. "This isn't even a real time."

"Why don't you have me in your contact list?" Alec counters, avoiding the question.

"I do," Theo answers around a yawn. "Can't find my glasses."

"You answered a call blindly? What are you unhinged?"

"I thought it was Jason. He's the only person who calls me besides my boss."

Alec makes a thoughtful noise. "Did I wake you up?"

"At five in the morning?" Theo snorts. "Yes, Alec, you woke me up."

"Oh." Alec's exhale is heavy through the phone. "Are you mad?"

The conversation is so bonkers that Theo finds himself answering far too honestly.

"I'd never be mad at you for calling me." A horrible thought occurs to Theo. "Wait, why are you calling me so early? What's wrong? Fuck, is it Jason?"

He tries to stand too abruptly, feet tangling in the sheets when Alec replies.

"Nothing is wrong." At those three words Theo collapses on the edge of the bed with a heavy thud, kicking at the sheets. "Jason is probably sleeping like a baby. I didn't call him to check, but you know that man loves to sleep."

Heart beating erratically in his chest, Theo throws his legs over the bed and forces himself to breathe slowly. His brain might know everything is fine, but his body hasn't caught up.

"Charlie didn't answer?" he asks, trying to make sense of why Alec is calling.

"I didn't call him either."

Oh. That's unexpected.

"I need help."

That's even more unexpected. Theo should probably ask more questions, but the truth is no matter what is going on, if Alec is desperate enough to call Theo for help and not his brothers, then he's going to help him.

"Where are you?" Theo asks as he grabs his pants off the edge of the bed and shimmies into them.

"Funny you should ask that."

"Are you in trouble, Alec?" Theo pulls his sweater from yesterday over his head, worst case scenarios running through his head as he grabs one of his spare pair of glasses off the top of his dresser. They're not his favorite frames, but he keeps extras for times like now where he's lost his glasses, something that happens far more often than it should. "You're not in jail, are you?"

"Jail. Honestly, Theodore, what would I do to land myself in jail?"

"Streaking." The answer comes out as half-statement and half-question, which feels appropriate.

"I don't know if I'm flattered or offended that your first thought for why I'd be arrested is nudity."

"Sorry," Theo apologizes.

"Don't be, that's probably accurate," Alec laughs. "But uh, no, I'm not in jail. I'm uh…somewhere closer."

"Your apartment?"

"Your front porch."

Theo startles, stubbing his toe on the bed frame on the way out of his door. He curses, righting himself as he stares into his empty, dark living room. He doesn't bother asking what the hell Alec is doing over the phone, ending the call before half running to the front door. He flips the porch light while unlocking the deadbolt, swinging the door open to find Alec is, in fact, standing on his front porch. There's mud on his nose, the side of his cheek is caked with blood and his lip is split. His shirt is also absent, wrapped around something in his arm that meows loudly.

"What the fuck?"

"Not a fuck." He holds his arms out to show off a small black void of fur wrapped inside his t-shirt. "A cat. Well, kitten to be precise."

"A kitten," Theo repeats, unable to keep the incredulity from his tone. He takes a second glance at Alec, his concern growing. Aside from the split lip, there's a reddish mark on Alec's side that looks like it's going to bruise, a gash in his running leggings, and his shoes are soaking wet. "What happened?"

"Can we come in? I'm freezing my nipples off," Alec replies in lieu of answering the question. He also doesn't wait for a reply before ducking beneath Theo's outstretched arm and stepping inside. "Did you get a new rug? I like it."

"Uh, yeah, like nine months ago."

"Suits you."

The rug is brown with zigzagging stripes and Theo got a killer deal on a second hand website. He says as much, pleased when Alec smiles at him, and then he snaps his mouth shut. What the hell is happening? Alexander King is shirtless, filthy and bleeding in his living room at five a.m. while Theo's talking about his rug. He's got to be hallucinating.

"Hmm, no, I'm definitely not a hallucination," Alec chirps, leaving Theo no room to be embarrassed that he apparently said that part out loud. "I'm gonna take Rio into the kitchen to clean her up. You can follow."

Theo does follow along, not entirely sure what else to do.

"Where did you get a cat? Are you hurt? Why are you out at five in the morning?"

"That's an awful lot of questions," Alec says, far too calm for someone bleeding and dirty. "I could be persuaded to answer them all if you wanted to bribe me with something hot to drink. Preferably with a lot of cream and sugar. Don't tell the team nutritionist."

"Pretty sure you can just have coffee however you want it."

"You'd be surprised," Alec says, a hint of frustration in his tone. Theo wants to ask about it but Alec switches to his normal sunny disposition. "Can you give me a washcloth to get her clean?"

"Sure, but?—"

"Questions after coffee," Alec interrupts. Theo is too tired to argue with him and hurries to the bathroom to get Alec a stack of clean washcloths, and then sets about brewing the strongest, biggest pot of coffee his machine can handle. It's a win-win for them both, because Theo is going to need at least two cups of coffee before he's coherent enough to make sense of what is happening, and Alec is apparently motivated by bribes.

"Can I at least ask what happened to your face?" Theo says.

While the coffee percolates, the kitchen fills with the occasional mewl of kitten displeasure and the bubbling of brewing coffee. Alec doesn't immediately answer and Theo takes the opportunity to lean back against the kitchen counter and really get a good look at Alec. The blood on his cheek has dried, which should alleviate any worries, but all Theo can do is stare at the mix of blood and dirt smeared across his freckled cheek. A weight settles over his chest, uncomfortable and unfamiliar.

"It was an unfortunate consequence of rescuing Rio." He says it so cavalier, as if he doesn't care that he's dirty and hurt because of a stray cat.

"Where did you find it, the bottom of the riverbed?"

"Yes, actually."

"Shit, Alec." Theo pushes off the counter. He inches into Alec's personal space, taking in the mark on his side with more scrutiny now. The river bottom runs along the freeway and is bordered by tall fencing meant to keep people out for this exact reason. "Why did you go down to the river bottom? Did you fall?"

"I told you, to find Rio."

"That was dangerous." Theo sighs, skimming his fingers over the angry red skin. Alec sucks in a sharp breath and holds it, his entire body strung as taut as a bow. "Maybe I should take you to urgent care or?—"

"No." Alec interrupts. "I see enough medical professionals with the team. I don't want to deal with more of them than I have to. I'm good, I promise." Alec attempts to smile but it comes out as a grimace because of his split lip, which he certainly won't be able to hide during his practice, but that's not Theo's business. Technically nothing about Alec is his business, yet he can't stop himself from getting involved, consequences be damned.

"I'll put an extra spoonful of sugar in your coffee if you let me clean your wounds."

Alec hisses. "You play dirty, Theodore James."

"Is that a yes?" Theo asks, unsure how to read Alec right now. He's known Alec for most of his life, but he's only now realizing how much he doesn't know about the other man, and there's no doubt in his mind that Alec is definitely a man now.

Guilt prickles at Theo that Alec is standing there hurt and he's admiring the flat planes of Alec's stomach and chest. He's strong, but lean, and his skin is so smooth. There's no hair on his chest, and instead freckles cascade across his ribs and curl around his back.

"It is working," Alec admits, the weight of his exhale palpable. "Fuck it, I want extra cream, too. I want that coffee milky and sweet."

"I can definitely manage that." Theo turns to the fridge, pulling out the carton of half and half before taking down the sugar bowl from the cupboard above the coffee pot. He's pulling down two mugs when he turns back to Alec. "Any chance I could get you to take some Advil for the swelling?"

"Don't push your luck, mister," Alec mutters, eyes firmly on the kitten in the sink who seems almost as skittish as Alec. "Pass me another dry wash cloth. Please."

The kitten mews, its little paws on the edge of the sink as Alec carefully cleans the muck and dirt from its fur. Theo tries not to think about the similarities between them. He tries and he fails because those big, vulnerable eyes make him feel protective. Of the kitten? Maybe. Of Alec? Absolutely.

It's difficult to tell if the silence is awkward or that's just Theo, but every time he thinks of something to say he closes his mouth, not wanting to ruin the peaceful look in Alec's eyes as he washes the kitten. He makes sure to add extra sugar to Alec's coffee while he watches him work, mesmerized by the gentle way Alec handles the squirming kitten.

"Here's your coffee." He sets Alec's cup on the counter before returning to his previous spot. He sips his coffee, sighing with pleasure at the first drink.

"Still a coffee addict, I see," Alec says. He takes the kitten out of the sink and wraps her in one of the clean dish towels hanging off the cupboard. He holds her close to his chest, her scraggly face peeking out of the towel. With her fur all wet, she looks smaller and more vulnerable, and an unsettled feeling settles in Theo's chest.

"Guess I am," Theo agrees, taking another drink. He watches Alec do the same, unable to keep his questions in any longer when Alec hisses, unable to drink the coffee because of his split lip. "What were you doing at the riverbed in the dark anyway? That's dangerous."

"Thanks, Dad." Alec sticks his tongue out, a sure sign he's not actually mad at Theo's prying. "I was out for a run and?—"

"Why were you out for a run so early?"

"Sometimes I can't sleep. It's not a big deal. I won't bore you with the details."

"Why would you think knowing about you would bore me?"

Alec appears to choose his next words carefully. There's nothing accusatory or malicious in his words or tone, yet they sting. "I'm just your best friend's annoying little brother. I know you guys used to try and hide from me when you didn't want me following you."

Guilt hits Theo like a goddamn freight train. There'd been a short time where he and Jason had been idiotic, awkward teenagers doing stupid shit and they hadn't wanted Alec around to butt in or tell Jason's parents. He just didn't realize Alec ever knew they were hiding from him. Somehow he and Jason thought they were being subtle. Apparently not.

"Look, it's fine. I was an annoying kid."

"You're not annoying, Alec."

"I said I was an annoying kid, not that I'm annoying now. Anyone would be lucky to spend time with me. I'm a fucking delight."

"They would," Theo agrees.

"Why are you being so nice to me?"

"Why didn't you call Charlie?" Theo counters, trying to deflect.

"Charlie's already got three cats, an elderly hamster no one wanted from the pet store and a dog." Alec's eyes remain on the kitten, something heavy in his tone. "He said if I bring him any more animals, he's gonna send me to the rescue center."

While Theo suspected Charlie's large menagerie of pets was due to Alec, he'd never asked. He's not sure what to make of that.

"Jason?"

"He's got two dogs already and he doesn't have time for more pets, which is why he told me to stop tempting him with strays."

Theo hums in agreement. Jason probably would cave if Alec called him, but his apartment isn't huge and he really doesn't have room for more pets.

"Why not Andrew? Your parents?"

"Andrew doesn't want pets right now. You know what a control freak he is. I think he'd have a panic attack if his place got covered in pet hair. And my parents said they're done raising kids and animals. They wanna start doing old people shit, like cruises and bingo nights when they're not working."

"They're not that old."

"That's what I said." Alec snorts, dropping a kiss to the top of the kitten's towel-covered head. "I could maybe sneak Rio into the apartment, but last year I got caught with animals twice and I've been told in no uncertain terms if I get caught again I'll be in serious trouble, and I can't risk my place on the team. Besides, that would be a dick move to my roommates. I think Logan is allergic anyway. Stupid campus housing rules."

"If you don't like the rules, why don't you live at home?" Theo asks. "Jason told me your parents offered to let you stay home and?—"

"Wow, look at the time! I should go," Alec loudly interrupts, making it a whole two steps before Theo stops him, hand curling around Alec's bicep.

"No way, let me clean your wounds first. A deal is a deal."

"I can't even drink the coffee," Alec moans. "You're really going to hold me to that deal?"

"Damn right I am. Now sit down so I can look at you."

"I knew you've secretly been dying to look at me. It's okay. All the boys have, and some of the girls, even if I don't play for that team." Alec grins, wincing immediately. "Fuck, that hurt."

"I meant to look at your injury," Theo says, hoping the warmth he feels in his cheeks isn't noticeable. He does like looking at Alec, far more than he is comfortable admitting, but Alec doesn't need to know that.

"That's not fun," Alec protests, but it doesn't escape Theo's notice how quickly he complies.

"Not everything has to be fun," Theo says, reaching out to skim his fingers over Alec's cheek. The cut isn't deep enough to need stitches, but it definitely looks like it needs to be cleaned and secured with a butterfly bandage. Alec tenses and Theo yanks his hand back. "Sorry, did that hurt?"

"No," Alec answers with the slightest hitch to his breathing.

An image of Alec beneath him, mouth open and wanton as Theo touches him in a different way springs to mind, and it's only a lifetime of self-denial and masking that allows Theo to keep a straight face. Thinking Alec is hot is one thing, imagining him beneath Theo, mouthy and eager, is something Theo shouldn't touch with a ten-foot-pole. Especially not when Alec's clearly hung up on some other guy.

"I'm going to go get the first aid kit and you're going to stay here like a good boy."

"Boring," Alec whines, but lifts Rio up to kiss her face and doesn't move. It takes Theo a minute to find the first aid kit under the sink in his bathroom, fully stocked out of precaution yet rarely used. He half expects Alec to have moved by the time he returns, but he's in the same place Theo left him, bouncing his leg while baby-talking to the kitten.

Aware of Alec's eyes following him, Theo drags one of the other chairs around the kitchen table and situates it in front of Alec, setting the first aid kit on the table before grabbing Alec's chair and pulling him between the spread of his legs so that Alec's knees are pressed against the inside of Theo's thighs. The kitten meows between them.

"She's cute."

"Of course she is," Alec agrees, eyes on Theo. "Her name is Rio. You can use it."

"You're going to get attached naming her."

Why don't you ever protect yourself? Theo wonders, holding that thought back.

"Too late, already attached. I think she's like eight or nine weeks old, if I had to guess. Could be a little older."

Theo pops open the first aid kit before digging out the antiseptic wipes, Vaseline and a variety of bandages, unsure which might work best. He uses a wet washcloth to clean the wounds first before ripping open the antiseptic wipe and drawing it over the swell of Alec's high cheekbone. For the first time in Theo's memory, Alec doesn't move, body still as a statue as Theo draws it over the angry skin, careful not to push too hard. The gash is only an inch or so long, just deep enough to bleed, but definitely not deep enough to need stitches.

"Okay?"

"Yeah," Alec croaks.

"Sorry if it stings," Theo apologizes, leaning forward to blow on the cut. Alec makes a choked off sound that could be pain or something else. Theo doesn't want to think about the something else. Something else is risky, and Theo doesn't take risks.

He doesn't think about the rise and fall of Alec's chest as he smears a thin layer of petroleum jelly over the wound. He doesn't think about the depth of Alec's stare as he smooths a butterfly bandage over the cut on his cheek. Except he does. He thinks about it and he aches.

Alec sucks in a sharp breath and Theo frowns. "Did that hurt?"

"No." Alec answers so quickly it's impossible to tell if it's the truth or a lie.

"Alright," Theo replies, dragging the pad of his thumb down the side of Alec's jaw.

It's unnecessary from a first aid perspective, a purely selfish touch, yet Theo can't stop himself. He hones his attention on the way Alec holds his breath. When Theo moves his hands lower to trace the bruise that's forming on his side, the kitten leaps down from Alec's lap to explore the kitchen, giving Theo full access to him. He's careful not to press too hard into Alec's side, drawing a second clean washcloth over the skin to clean off the dirt.

Alec's expression becomes something unreadable. His mouth is half open, his brown eyes piercing Theo. There's something there, but Theo's not used to having to guess. He's used to Alec running his mouth so much you don't get a second to even think. A quiet Alec is something Theo's never been confronted with and he's not sure what to make of it.

"Cat got your tongue," Theo teases, drawing a new antiseptic wipe over the scraped skin. There's not too much blood, but Alec definitely fought some concrete and lost. Besides the nasty scrape there's also a bruise, which is discoloring quickly.

"Fuck you," Alec laughs between a hiss. He playfully kicks at Theo's ankle, and just like that he's back to his usual, mouthy self. Everything is back to normal, whatever the hell that is.

"So, uh, what are you going to do with the cat?" Theo asks, squeezing a bit of petroleum jelly on his pointer finger. He smooths it over the wound before covering it with a gauze pad and a few carefully placed strips of medical tape. It's not until he's finished and packed the first aid kit back up that Alec finally answers.

"I don't know." Alec turns his head to watch the kitten paw at his ankle. With a bitten-off wince, he leans down to pick her up, immediately situating her on his chest. "I know I can't keep her."

The way Alec looks at her like she's something precious has Theo speaking before he can think better of it. "I will."

Alec's eyes snap up. "What?"

"I'll keep her," Theo repeats, with far more confidence than he feels.

"You've never had any pets."

"There's a first time for everything," Theo smiles, unsure why he feels so desperate to wipe away the uncertainty on Alec's face.

"Are you sure?" He glances between the kitten and Theo, his internal debate obvious. "I don't want you to keep her just because you feel sorry for me or something. I don't need your pity and a pet is a big deal."

Leave it to Alec to not only parse what's going on in his head, but to call Theo on it. Being called on shit is horrible, but the worst part is how much Theo doesn't actually hate it when it comes from Alec's mouth. The sad truth is he's done a lot of things he didn't want to do in order to help people out or keep the peace. Shit, he played football for so long he even got scouted, and he never even enjoyed playing that much. Theo has always found it easier to not rock the boat, but that's not Alec's way and it's clear he's not going to let Theo do it now.

"It's not just pity," Theo hedges, unable to explain the entirety of it.

Theo never planned on having a cat. In fact, he's never even given much thought to having a pet period, but when he looks at the helpless kitten in Alec's arms, he finds himself unable to think about it logically. His house is plenty big, he's got no social life to speak of, and he can afford to take care of it. If he also knows it'll make Alec happy while also giving him an excuse to spend time with him again, well, that's something he doesn't want to think too hard about.

Most of the time Theo's an over-thinker, not a doer, but for once in his life he wants to act first and deal with the consequences later. This alone should terrify him, but he can't stop looking at the hint of a smile on Alec's face long enough to care.

"I want to do this," Theo assures him even if he can't explain why.

When Theo makes a decision it's usually preceded by weeks or months of research, carefully thought out pros and cons lists, and the conviction that whatever choice he makes is the one with the least amount of risks. This thing with Alec and the kitten is anything but. It's rash and impulsive, the risks high and unknown, which should be making Theo spiral. He has no idea why he isn't freaking out. Maybe it's the way the kitten clearly favors Alec, so far showing no interest in Theo, or maybe it's how attached Alec clearly already is, or maybe it's the fact that Theo knows what it's like to be unwanted and abandoned. Whatever it is, his next words are anything but considered.

"You can come visit her," Theo continues, unsure if he's been taken over by aliens. He's never this rash. "Whenever you want."

Alec smiles so big he winces, but even the pain from his split lip can't wipe the joy off his face as he leans forward, depositing the kitten into Theo's lap.

"If you're going to be her new daddy, you should probably hold her."

The implications of that sentence break through Theo's wall of cognitive dissonance. Some of his panic must show on his face because Alec reaches to stroke her back, drawing his hand across her fur before letting it rest on Theo's forearm.

"She won't bite," Alec tells him. "Well, actually she might since she's scared, but she'll learn to trust you. And you won't have to do this alone. I'll help."

The knot of anxiety around Theo's chest loosens. Alec will help. He isn't doing this alone.

"She can smell fear," Alec teases, grabbing Theo's hand and laying it on her back. She meows and Theo's chest does something funny once he realizes exactly what it means to have a pet. He is going to be responsible for keeping something else alive. Even the plants in his house are fake so he doesn't risk killing them and he pays a guy to come mow and landscape his backyard once a month to ensure nothing dies. Even though he has no plans to move, he doesn't want to depreciate his property value. Theo always thinks ten steps ahead. Except, apparently, when Alec or kittens are involved.

"You know this could be a temporary thing, a foster situation."

"Huh?" Theo looks up, embarrassed at the way his anxiety made him zone out.

"A foster situation," Alec explains. "You look like you're going to crawl out of your skin, and the thing is, that's okay."

"I'm not sure how that's okay," Theo mumbles.

"Because pets are a really big deal and you shouldn't commit to one unless you're certain. If you're not, that's nothing to be ashamed about."

"I do want to help."

"I know you do," Alec says, his smile softening. Somehow this is more affecting than his happiness. The look in his eyes says he understands Theo's panic, even if Theo isn't verbalizing it, and that level of awareness is something he wasn't expecting from Alec. Fun, carefree, silly. Those are words Theo would've used to describe Alec a week ago. Now added to the list of adjectives that describe him are things like kind and perceptive. Words that lodge themselves in Theo's throat and upend Theo's understanding of the other man in frankly unsettling ways.

"However," Alec continues. "Wanting to help and having good intentions doesn't mean keeping her will be the best thing for either of you. How about if we do a trial run? I can reach out to some people I know, see if anyone is interested. In the meantime you can give her a home, on a trial basis. If it doesn't work out, we can find her the right home."

"Temporary," Theo repeats, watching the kitten try and unstick her paws from his sweater.

"Yeah, temporary."

An out. Alec is giving him an out and Theo is embarrassed at how fast he takes it.

"Alright."

"Good, it's settled. You'll foster her on a trial basis." Alec continues to talk, launching into a long list of things they're going to need from the pet store, along with talk of vet visits and vaccinations. Things that are tangible and real. Theo tries to listen but his focus is splintered, his attention drawn back and forth from the kitten to Alec.

"When did you become so smart?"

"I have always been smart," Alec retorts. "Some people just never bothered to notice. I bet there's a lot about me you never noticed, Theodore."

Anxiety flutters in Theo's chest, the words easy but the implications anything but. Theo breathes in for five seconds and out for seven, focusing on the silky fur beneath his palm and the cadence of Alec's voice as he launches into a random story about someone on his team. The words hold little meaning, but Theo breathes in and out, focusing on the sound of Alec's voice as one thing becomes crystal clear: however temporary, Theo's life is about to change.