Chapter 3

After breakfast, I headed to my dad's house. I couldn't avoid it for much longer. He'd expected me to stay with him. But I couldn't stay in that house. I'd barely been back in all the years since Mom died.

I worried the memories would be too much. That I'd feel the acute loss when she wasn't standing in the kitchen next to Daphne baking cookies.

With every mile I traveled in the rental car, I felt my nerves pick up. How would my family greet me? Would they be irritated that I'd stayed away for so long?

I wasn't ready to talk about what happened or why I was here. But it was too much to hope that my brothers would stay out of my business.

The only way to shut them out was to move hundreds of miles away and rarely come home. I parked the car in front of the main house.

The house looked like it could use a fresh coat of paint. I knew Dad resisted Teddy's efforts to do any major repairs or make changes to the property.

Dad sat in the rocking chair on the front porch waiting for me.

"Daddy." Warmth flooded through my chest as I leaned down to hug him.

He held me tight. "It's good to have you back."

"It's good to be back," I said as I straightened, catching the unshed tears in his eyes.

Dad stood. "It's chilly. Come inside. I'll make you some coffee."

"That would be great." I followed him inside, bracing myself for the familiar smells and the memories.

The house was exactly the same as when I was a kid. The same framed photographs hung on the wall, ending with my high school graduation picture. After that, no one bothered to print pictures and hang them. The kitchen sported the dated cabinets and cracked countertops. "Have you thought about renovating?"

Dad shook his head. "The farm barely earns enough to pay for itself. The boys deserve to earn money for their efforts too."

My lips twitched. "Those boys are in their twenties and thirties now."

"I'll always think of you as my little girl."

I rolled my eyes. "I haven't been little in a long time."

Dad sighed as he moved around the kitchen. "You haven't needed me for longer than that."

"I know it feels like that at times, but I'll always need you."

Dad raised a brow. "What about your brothers?"

I chuckled. "I could do without them."

The door opened, and Jameson walked in. "Who can you do without?"

"You," I teased, the mood lightening with him entering the room.

"You know you love me," Jameson said as he hugged me. When he pulled back, he asked, "What's for breakfast, old man?"

"You come for breakfast and expect Dad to cook for you?" I was interested in their dynamic now that Jameson was an adult but still living in the apartment above the garage.

Jameson winked. "You can cook for me too."

"Fat chance of that."

Jameson raised a brow. "You still can't cook, can you?"

I waved a hand at him. "I'm too busy working."

He frowned. "Everyone needs to eat."

"Can you cook?" I asked him.

"I can do the basics. After…" He cleared his throat. "We all pitched in to help. Although Daphne ended up being the best cook of any of us."

"You can say it. After Mom died." The familiar guilt and shame washed over me. I was nineteen when Mom died. I missed her illness because I'd selfishly stayed in school. I left my younger siblings to handle that and the aftermath. Even after she'd died, I hadn't moved closer to help. I'd stayed away.

I'd justified it to myself because Teddy had switched to a college closer to home. But Daphne was the youngest; she shouldn't have been the one cooking for a large family.

Jameson winced slightly at my comment but didn't say anything. He was generally easygoing and happy. Not much got him down.

I knew they avoided saying Mom's name because no one wanted to bring up memories or trigger my dad. But I was tired of tiptoeing around the past. Still, the guilt was never far away. "I'm sorry, Dad. I shouldn't have said anything."

Dad shook his head. "It's fine. You can say her name. I won't break down."

I reached over to squeeze his hand.

"It's good to have you back," Dad said gruffly.

"It would be even better if Axel and Ryder could make it home," Jameson grumbled.

"Axel doesn't have leave?" I asked them as Dad poured coffee grounds into the machine.

Dad shrugged. "He almost never has it over Christmas."

"Axel's life is controlled by the military," Jameson added.

I remembered Aiden telling me the same thing when he'd broken off our relationship. He hadn't wanted my life to be dictated the same way his would be.

"And you know Ryder; his wife wants to spend every holiday with her family," Jameson said dryly.

"That doesn't seem fair."

"Some men get married, and they are absorbed into their wife's family. It's not his fault," Dad continued, referencing Ryder and his situation. We'd talked at length about Ryder and his wife, Stacy, how we never saw his daughter even though she was eight.

Jameson braced his hands on the counter. "How is it not his fault? He should tell her it's our turn. Besides, I want to see my niece every once in a while."

I loved that Jameson seemed to be a family man. I hadn't been around for his teen years, so I'd missed his maturing. All I knew about him was that he lived in the apartment above the garage, worked as a firefighter, and was perpetually a kid at heart.

"I feel like we barely know her," Jameson added.

"Ryder said they're close to the grandparents on that side. It's nothing personal. You guys are going to grow up and move on. Not everyone is going to stick close to home," Dad said reasonably.

I certainly hadn't.

Jameson's jaw tightened. "It would be nice if they visited. Izzy should have a relationship with her cousin."

"I agree with you, but we can't control what other people do. All we can hope for is that Ryder comes around at some point. That he sees what he's missing out on."

Jameson grabbed a glass and filled it with water. "By the time Ryder comes to his senses, Faith will be eighteen. It'll be too late."

"Whenever he comes back, we'll welcome him. Faith will always be a member of this family. This year, we have Fiona at home, and we see Izzy often. We have a lot to be thankful for."

"Have you seen Izzy since you've been back?" Jameson asked me.

"I haven't. But I saw Daphne at the party at the inn last night."

"She's the only one in the family that went. That's more of a Monroe event," Jameson said.

"Even though it's held at the Matthews Inn?"

Dad scooped coffee beans into the machine. "Marley is dating a Monroe. It's a Monroe event."

"I hope to see Izzy later today."

Dad filled the machine with water, then pushed the button to brew the coffee. "She'll love that. She talks about you nonstop whenever you video call her."

"I hadn't realized that."

Jameson winked at me. "You're her favorite aunt."

I gave him a look. "I'm her only aunt."

Jameson grinned, touching his hand to his chest. "I'm her favorite uncle, and there's five of us."

"Is it because you live the closest?" I asked.

He pouted. "That's not the reason. It's my charming personality."

I didn't argue with him because he was charming, even if it drove my other brothers crazy. "What's your schedule like this week?"

"I work one day on, two days off at the firehouse. Then I substitute at the middle school one day and drive a bus one day."

"You teach and drive buses?" I asked him, surprised by his answer.

"The middle school is hard up for teachers. No one wants to substitute for that age group. I don't blame them. Those kids can be little—" Jameson broke off, looking apologetically at Dad.

"Thanks for not finishing that sentence," Dad said dryly.

"They're okay with me. I can handle them."

"I didn't realize you wanted to teach." I hadn't been around long enough to know who my siblings were now.

Jameson flashed me a smile. "I'm just filling in."

"What about the bus driver thing?" I wanted to get to know him now.

He shrugged. "I do it for extra cash. It's fun. I dress up for the little kids, and they love it. One day I was a ketchup bottle, and the other day, I was Dr. Seuss. It's fun."

"Do you need to work all those jobs if you're a firefighter? Shouldn't you be resting?" Working twenty-four-hour shifts couldn't be easy.

"It's something I enjoy doing, and I like to be busy."

My impression of Jameson was that he was go go go all the time, but he was so easygoing and happy-go-lucky, we never worried about him. Now I wondered if his personality was a direct result of Mom dying. He felt the need to lift everyone else up. I'd never know for sure because I wasn't here.

Dad poured coffee for us and passed us the mugs.

I blew on the hot liquid. It felt weird to be home, to get to know all the people I'd abandoned over the years, but at the same time it felt oddly right that I was here. I hoped it wasn't too late for me to make amends to my family and even to Aiden. Then maybe I could move forward with my life.

Jameson held up his mug. "Cheers to my big sister being home."

Dad smiled. "Cheers."

I clinked mugs with them, then said, "To a good holiday season."

Now that I was home, I could get to know my siblings again, see what I'd missed out on.

* * *

After I'd drank coffee with Dad and Jameson, I headed over to Daphne's cottage. It was perfect for just Daphne and Izzy.

Izzy opened the door. "Aunt Fiona!"

I held my arms open as she jumped into them. "Umph. You're huge."

"Mommy said I've grown a lot this year."

"I believe it," I said as I set her down.

Daphne hugged me next. "It's good to have you home."

"What did you and Cole do last night?" I asked as I came inside, hanging my coat on the hook by the door.

"He showed me the building he constructed at his new house. It's for my pies. You should see it. Here, let me show you the pictures."

I waited while Daphne sifted through the pictures on her phone and tilted the screen toward me. There was a picture of the front porch and the interior. "It looks bigger than what you have here."

Daphne beamed. "Cole wanted me to have space to grow. I think he was afraid I wouldn't want to move in."

"Are you sure you want to move in without being engaged, though?" I'd taken marriage off the table ever since I'd offered to marry Aiden and he'd turned me down flat.

Daphne held out her hand, her smile telling me before I saw the sparkling diamond. "He proposed last night."

"It's beautiful. Congratulations." I hugged her tightly, surprised by the intensity of my feelings.

"Thank you. I'm so happy."

"I'm happy for you."

"Come into the kitchen. I'll get you something to drink."

I followed her. Izzy stayed in the living room.

Daphne grabbed a glass and filled it with ice, then water. "Cole and I kept our relationship a secret for a long time, worried that our families wouldn't accept it. I was worried Cole would choose them over me, but in the end, he realized that we were his family."

That was sweet and unexpected. I'd pushed so far away from my family, I wasn't close to them anymore.

Daphne handed me the glass of iced water. "How are you? Why did you decide to visit?"

"You know I was up for that promotion."

"Did you get it?" Then Daphne saw my face. "They gave it to that guy. Was it Don?"

"He wasn't there as long as me. But he went to some Ivy League school, and his dad owns a competing hotel chain." I didn't think it was necessary to tell Daphne I'd dated Don because I wasn't even upset that I'd broken things off.

Daphne's forehead wrinkled. "Isn't he just going to leave and work for his dad?"

"I would think so. He's biding his time here until he can work for Daddy."

"Then why would they pick him?"

"I think it has something to do with keeping the competition close. I don't know, honestly. I feel like I worked hard, and I deserved that promotion. I put so much time and effort into that job, and now what?"

Daphne shrugged. "You could look for another job."

I shook my head. "When my boss told me that I was passed over for the promotion, I couldn't think about anything else other than getting away from there. I said I was taking all the vacation I'd accumulated over the years."

"Do you think he's concerned you'd leave?"

"If so, he didn't say anything. He didn't offer another position or even a raise. It's like he just assumes I'll keep doing what I'm doing. Working my ass off without any acknowledgment."

"I'm so glad I don't have to worry about that stuff."

"You work for yourself. That has its own challenges."

"I don't have to share my profits with anyone else, and I don't have to prove anything to anyone but myself."

"I love that. It's badass."

Daphne laughed. "I don't know about that."

"I'm sure Cole would agree with me." I didn't know him, but he was obviously smitten with my sister. He had to be to show up at Thanksgiving dinner and apologize in front of my family.

"What do you think you'll do when you go back to work?"

"I don't want to even think about it. I just want to spend time with my family."

Daphne smiled. "It's wonderful to have you back. Izzy adores you."

I frowned. "I haven't been here. Not really."

"You're her cool aunt that she gets to talk to on video."

"I want to be more than that. I'd like to be the aunt that's in her life. Physically."

"I'd like that too," Daphne said. "We're all so happy to have you. Now we just need Axel and Ryder home at the same time."

I didn't think we'd all been home at the same time since Mom's funeral.

"You'll figure it out."

I'd assumed I'd go back to work like I always had, but I'd keep my options open. If a position opened somewhere else, I'd apply for it. I should take this time to consider all my options. Maybe things would be clearer after a few weeks away from work.

Just the thought of going back to work and being Don's subordinate didn't sit right with me. He'd started a few years after me and wasn't as good at the job as I was. Everything was numbers to him. I tried to think about the customer's experience when I made my recommendations. But maybe the higher-ups only cared about the bottom line.

Izzy appeared in the doorway. "Will you play with me, Aunt Fiona?"

"I'd love to." I was so lucky to have this time with her, to get to know my niece. It was time I might not get again. Who knows when I'd accumulate this kind of leave again?

I followed her upstairs where we played tea party at her little table and chairs, and then with the dolls in her dollhouse.

When I went home later that night, Daphne held me tightly and whispered. "I'm so happy you're home."

"It's good to be home." For once, it felt like the truth. I wasn't itching to get back to my apartment in a city where I had few friends and filled my time with work.