Chapter 18

EIGHTEEN

HUNTER

The door closes behind her as I stand inside my office in complete and utter shock.

I have a son.

A son Alexandra Edwards has carried for the last nine months.

The room begins to spin, so I rest my arm against the glass window and lean my head against it. Outside, people are going about their lives as if nothing life-changing has occurred. Only fifteen minutes ago, I was one of those people. Inside a meeting room, listening to our finance team project numbers.

Then, Alexandra dropped the biggest bombshell she could possibly drop on me.

When Meredith asked to see me for something urgent, I excused myself only to be told Alexandra was in my office with something important she needed to discuss. I had no idea what it was, only assuming it had something to do with a previous reference. Thinking an email could have easily sufficed.

Boy, was I fucking wrong.

There’s a knock on my door, but I don’t answer. Another knock, but I’m paralyzed, unable to even speak. When it opens, Meredith enters and then closes the door behind her.

“Is everything okay, Mr. Cash? The team is still waiting for you in the boardroom.”

My entire body feels like it’s shutting down, emotionally numb, as Meredith repeatedly calls my name.

“Cancel the meeting,” I command.

“Are you sure everything is okay? I wouldn’t normally be asking, but Alexandra’s visit also caught me by surprise.”

Meredith is the closest thing I have to a mother. She’s been with me for years and knows exactly how I run my business. I’m not the easiest person to get along with, but she tolerates my bullshit and always gets the job done.

“I have a son,” I mutter under my breath.

“I’m sorry. Did you say you have a son?”

I nod, still in disbelief. Meredith’s gaze falls to the ground as she takes in the news. My hands move to my face as I rub it, trying to gain some sort of control right now.

“I’m not sure what to say,” Meredith stammers. “She looked different, tired if anything, but never would I have thought she had a child. No one said anything, and the Edwards family is usually in the spotlight.”

“I don’t know. I assume Lex chose to keep it under wraps, especially if he knows I’m the father,” I say faintly. “God, this is. I have no words.”

“Let me leave you to think,” Meredith suggests. “I’ll end the meeting and cancel your afternoon schedule should you wish to go home.”

“Please, and thank you.”

Staying in the office is no longer an option. I pace behind my desk too many times, desperate for a drink or something to take the edge off. When I can’t take it any longer, I drive home and welcome the solitude.

With a drink in hand, I think long and hard about Kathy’s situation. The miracle I asked for has landed in my lap. I have a child. It’s just not to my wife. This complicates things even more.

I don’t stop at one drink, almost finishing the bottle when I text Alexandra. The only way I was able to get her new number was through Meredith. I’m not sure how she got it, but as I said, she always delivers.

The text is straightforward, even though it takes me several attempts to write it. She simply responds with a thumbs up. How fucking infuriating.

I drink the remnants of the bottle, then pass out on the lounge.

My days were busy with meetings and a day trip to Phoenix. While the days were distracted with work, the nights were hard once alone. Sleep is non-existent, certain I’m suffering from insomnia.

Then Friday rolls around. I half-expected Alexandra to text me with an excuse, but the only text I got was that she was running late.

When the door buzzes, it’s an hour after our agreed time. With sweaty palms, I quickly walk over to the door to open it.

Alexandra is standing in the corridor with a baby carrier in hand. I observe her tired expression, but more so her red eyes, almost as if she’s been crying. I stop myself from reaching out and wanting to caress her cheek, just to reassure her it’s safe to be here. If, in fact, she is worrying about being alone in my presence.

“Come in, please.”

Usually, I’m quick to reprimand anyone who is late in my presence, but given how worn down she looks, I choose to keep it to myself.

“Sorry, I’m late,” she mentions softly. “There was a last-minute thing that popped up, and this little guy began fussing, so it took me forever to leave.”

I motion for her to take a seat. “It’s fine, Alexandra.”

She sits down, glancing around the room. The last time she was sitting on this sofa, her legs were spread in the air, and I ate a feast.

Fuck, don’t even go there.

“So, the place hasn’t changed much?”

“No, it hasn’t.”

A heavy sigh escapes her. “Look, this is really hard for me. I’m sorry, but I have no idea what I’m supposed to do here.”

“How about you introduce me to our son?”

The moment the words leave my mouth, I see her body stiffen. Almost as if I’ve struck a nerve calling him ours.

“Yes, of course.”

Her hands reach into the carrier as she unbuckles his strap and belt, gently lifting him up. He’s incredibly small, wearing a blue jumpsuit. Alexandra reaches for the blanket, wrapping him up tight before handing him to me.

“Uh, I’ve never held a baby,” I warn her.

“Well, I’d never given birth. There’s a first time for everything.”

I move positions so I’m sitting beside her. Then, she brings the baby closer to me. Scared I’m going to drop him, she angles my arms to make it easier for me.

“There,” she says once he’s in my arms. “He’s not going to break. You can relax a little.”

I glance down, unsure why my heart is racing. He’s resting peacefully. His eyes are closed with his small lips twitching every so often. I examine every feature, not sure what I’m looking for since he looks like a newborn baby.

“Hunter…” Alexandra starts, then trails off as if she’s thinking about her words carefully. “I’m sorry you lost your child. I can’t begin to imagine how hard it was for both of you. I thought about telling you when I was pregnant, but I didn’t want Elijah to compete with another baby. When I saw you at The Plaza, I freaked out. Then, when I heard the news and Elijah was born, I realized it was selfish of me to deprive you of meeting him.”

If only I could tell her the truth…

“What is it you want from me?” I ask, unsure where to go from here. “I don’t know how to raise a child.”

“Neither do I. I don’t want anything. You can be in his life or choose not to be.” She crosses her arms, appearing agitated. “You deserved to meet him.”

Elijah begins to fuss so I quickly pass him back to her, unsure what to do.

“He’s hungry and needs a feed.”

“You can prepare a bottle in the kitchen if you need to.”

“I, uh, breastfeed him.”

“Right,” I simply say. She gazes at me oddly, waiting for something. “Do you need something?”

“I’m still getting used to the whole breastfeeding in public thing. So, if you don’t mind, can you turn around while I latch him? I don’t particularly want to show you my boobs.”

I try my best to hide back my smirk. “I’ve seen them before.”

“Yes, before when it was okay.”

“Fine, I’ll turn around.”

As I turn around, I hear her shuffle before she lets out a sigh.

“Okay, you can turn back around now.”

My body turns to see Elijah sucking on her breast. It’s such an odd thing to see, but it stirs this emotion inside me. Here is the mother of my child, feeding him. The walls of my heart swell like never before, and I wonder if I would have felt the same way about Kathy.

Deep down, I know the answer is no. I’ve never had feelings for her.

But Alexandra as the woman who carried my child is something else.

“Motherhood suits you,” I murmur. “You look like a natural.”

She grabs his tiny hand with a smile. “Maybe, now. The first two weeks were hard. We have a routine, and my parents help me so much.”

“You parents…” I trail off. “So, what was their reaction when you told them I was the father?”

“I think you should count your blessings. You’re still alive.”

I press my lips flat, keeping my opinion to myself. Lex Edwards would have been livid, so maybe I should count my blessings.

“Okay, he’s done, I think.” She removes him quickly, but I accidentally catch a glimpse of her nipple. Shit. Okay, think about anything else. Work, meetings, the mailman when he smiles at me with all his missing teeth…

“What do you do now?”

“Burp time. This can go great or not end well.” Alexandra rests Elijah on her chest with his head against her shoulder. As she gently pats his back, he lets out a small burp. “Done, with no aftermath.”

I continue to watch her with him. If possible, Alexandra has grown more beautiful as a mother. A change from the young woman who would tease me in my office with her sexy body, then stay here all night so I could take her however I wanted.

She’s changed, but change is not such a bad thing. It’s a part of life, I guess.

“It’s dark out, and I should probably go.” Her voice sounds unsure, so I’m assuming whatever happened at home has her unsettled. “Look, I don’t want to pressure you to do anything. You have your life, plus you’re married, so I don’t even know if this will work.”

“He’s my son,” I state adamantly. “It will work because it has to.”

Alexandra gazes at me with her emerald eyes. The hardest part is being in her presence. We have a history, and it’s hard enough to ignore when all we ever did in present company was devour each other in bed, on the sofa, or even in the elevator …

She quietly puts him into the carrier, then stands up to leave.

“Well, see you around, I guess.”

“Most definitely.”

She walks down the corridor as I follow her, but then she stops at the door.

“Hunter, you’re married.”

I can’t live with this lie any longer, the weight on my shoulders a burden I no longer wish to carry.

“We are still married for convenience. That hasn’t changed.”

Alexandra furrows her brows while pressing her lips flat. Even when she’s angry or annoyed, she’s still the most beautiful woman I’ve ever been with. Now, I understand why the last year has been so hard without her in my life. As much as she infuriates me with her sass, the way she makes me feel is something I hate to admit I’ve missed.

“But, the baby?”

“Alexandra, not now, please. When the time is right.”

She shakes her head with a huff. “Whatever. Goodbye, Hunter.”

The door closes behind her, forcing me to release the breath I’d been holding in.

I should have told her to get it all out in the open.

But now I have an heir, a son whose blood is the same as mine. This changes everything.

And until I know just how much, the secret will remain just that.

A secret.