Chapter 17

SEVENTEEN

ALEXA

The glass building stands in front of me in all its glory.

How can a building, tall and built strong, intimidate me to the point of freezing my entire body on the pavement in front of it?

People walk in and out of the revolving doors, yet I stand, unable to take simple steps because the moment I do, everything as I know it will change.

Over a year ago, I first entered this building on a mission to secure a job, not knowing how my life would change under the management of Hunter Cash.

A man who changed my life forever.

All these memories feel like a lifetime ago. As I stare at the building again, I realize everything looks exactly the same.

Everything but me.

My postpartum body is less than desirable. Not that I’m trying to entice Hunter in any way. I just didn’t want his first impression of me to look like I had a baby. Even though that’s why I’m here, to tell him I did. In my head, I have this perfect scenario that involves small talk and then easing my way into the conversion.

Though, with the tired face, big boobs, and bump, which hasn’t gone down much, I’m a fool to think I can hide the truth.

It took me two hours this morning to find a suitable outfit. I chose a black maxi dress that hides my stomach and flows nicely to my ankles. The bodice is loose, but unfortunately, my breasts are out of control. I’ve tied my hair back into a ponytail and wear makeup to cover the dark circles under my eyes. It’s the best I can do, considering I had a baby two short weeks ago.

With a deep breath, I force my feet to move and follow the people walking into the building. Once inside, my chest tightens even more.

I can’t do this.

My stomach flips with unwanted nausea, prompting me to call Ava. Thank God she picks up when I need her to.

“You can do this. You still look hot for someone who just had a baby,” she tells me.

“Ava, I’m not here to look hot,” I reprimand her. “I mean, I don’t want to look bad but seriously, talk me off the ledge.”

“What’s your worse fear? What can Hunter possibly do to make you so scared?”

I let out a heavy sigh. “Take my son away from me.”

“Alexa,” Ava says in a low voice. “He doesn’t strike me as someone who would do that. You know, if anything, he might want to marry you.”

“Why would you say that?”

“Uh, because he’s rich, and they tend to always get what they want.”

“He’s married. Are we forgetting this major detail?”

“You seem to have forgotten when you were busy screwing him,” Ava retorts.

“It wasn’t like that. His marriage was of convenience.”

“And so are you saying the baby they were carrying was of convenience?”

I glance at the elevator, watching people exit, and pray it’s not him.

“That part doesn’t make sense,” I mumble. “Okay, I’m going to do this.”

“Call me the second you walk out of his office.”

“I will.”

The call ends, so I place my phone back in my purse. I should have texted Beau, but he hasn’t spoken to me since I told him I wanted to tell Hunter. It’s been four days, but according to Millie, he took the boys out to Malibu to spend some time at the beach house. Will and Millie will be joining them tomorrow for the weekend.

With Beau being Beau, I can’t let his opinion over this matter stop me.

I take the elevator to his floor, assuming he’s still there, until a wave of panic overcomes me. What if he’s not even here? All this stressing, and maybe he’s out of town.

The elevator doors open to the main floor. As I exit, I head straight for the new receptionist, who appears young. He’s probably fucking her. I force a smile as she glances up at me.

If I ask for Hunter, she’ll say no. So, I ask for the next best thing.

“Hi, my name is Alexa Edwards, and I’m here to see Meredith.”

“Do you have an appointment?”

“No, but I’m sure she will see me if you mention my name.”

The girl looks less than impressed with me but still buzzes Meredith. She talks low on the phone, so I can barely hear her. Then, she raises her eyes back to me.

“Meredith will be here in a moment.”

I take a step back away from the reception desk and wait. A few minutes later, Meredith is behind the glass doors. She opens the secured entrance with a smile, then walks toward me.

“This is a surprise.”

I’m not sure whether I should hug her or not, but I do anyway, catching her by surprise.

“Is there somewhere we can talk? Maybe not your office, though.”

“Of course.”

Meredith takes me down the opposite corridor, far away from hers and Hunter’s offices. As we step inside, she closes the door behind her and motions for me to take a seat.

“You look well,” she says politely, sitting across from me. “I’m sure you are enjoying NYU.”

“How did you know I was at NYU?”

“News travels fast.”

I nod, pursing my lips. “You look well. How have you been?”

“Busy, the company keeps growing.”

“My father will say that’s a great thing,” I add, nervously patting my hands on my lap. “So, is Hunter here?”

“He’s in a meeting.”

“I need to speak with him.”

Meredith keeps her gaze fixed on me. “Alexa, far from me to get involved. I’m aware things between you and Mr. Cash escalated personally. However, I don’t think it’s wise to bring it up, nor is it wise to see him.”

“It’s important, Meredith. I wish I didn’t have to be here, but I wouldn’t ask to see him unless it was absolutely necessary.”

Meredith sighs. “I understand.”

“So, could you get him for me?”

“Now? Alexa, he’s in the middle of a meeting.”

“Yeah, and I’m in the middle of a life crisis. Again, I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t important.”

She stands up, pushing the chair back into the desk.

“Come with me.”

I follow her through the corridor and down to his office. She opens the door, instructing me to stay in there. With the door closed behind me, I scan the area and take it all in.

Everything is exactly the same. Even the smell of his cologne lingers in the air. The scent brings back so many memories, but I force many of them away, knowing now is not the time to remember how he felt against my body while whispering dirty things in my ear.

Hunter prided himself on a neat office. Everything had its place, and God forbid his pens weren’t in order.

The longer I stand here, the higher my anxiety climbs. I clutch my stomach, wondering if I bailed, would Meredith tell him.

I can’t take it anymore, but then I hear the door creak. My eyes close, knowing this is it. There is no turning back.

“Alexandra,” he says in a deep voice.

Three… two… one.

I turn around swiftly, my eyes immediately meeting his. The walls of my chest tighten, making breathing impossible. Sweat has built in my palms while his stare fixates on me.

“Hunter,” I choke. “It’s nice to see you again.”

“You didn’t look too pleased to see me in Manhattan, or was it your boyfriend who had the issue with seeing me?”

“Beau is not my boyfriend,” I correct him.

Hunter keeps his expression blank, moving past me to take a seat in his black leather chair. He’s dressed in a dark blue suit with a vest beneath, but I ignore how handsome he looks and try to remember how I felt when he announced he was having a child with Kathy. I hated him, shocked he cheated on me. Focus on that.

“Firstly, I’m sorry to hear about the news.”

“News?”

“The baby. You and Kathy. I’m sorry.”

He raises his brow. “Is that what you came here for?”

“No…” I trail off, unsure how to bring this up. “I need to speak to you, but this is hard.”

“Look, Alexandra. As much as I love an impromptu visit from someone I was sleeping with, I do have a meeting to get back to.”

My eyes flick up, staring at him with annoyance. Someone he was sleeping with? God, he makes it sound like what we had was absolutely nothing, which makes this all the worse.

“So, tell me,” I start with an irritated tone. “How did you find time to screw Kathy while you were sleeping with me?”

“Alexandra,” he warns.

“No, don’t Alexandra me. Nothing happened with Beau when you and I were together, despite what you might think. Nothing happened with any other guy,” I rush, determined to get this off my chest. “So imagine my surprise to find out you were having a baby with the wife you said you weren’t sleeping with.”

His fist sits tight on his desk while his jaw clenches, visibly angered by this topic.

“It’s none of your business what happened between Kathy and me,” he grits. “And I didn’t cheat on you. I never slept with her.”

“Oh really?” I place my hands on my hips. The sharp moves prompt him to look at my chest with a pained stare. “Explain to me how else you make a baby.”

“In Vitro,” he deadpans.

“In Vitro?” I repeat. My head shakes in confusion. Why would he go to the effort to do In Vitro with Kathy? “I don’t understand.”

“You don’t need to understand. As I said, it’s none of your business.”

“It is my business,” I blurt out. “I had a baby.”

Hunter’s gaze is fixated on the desk, still and motionless. The veins on his hands are prominent, and if paying close attention, I can see his chest rising and falling beneath his vest.

At an agonizingly slow pace, his eyes lift to meet mine. They burn with jealousy while he clenches his teeth. Every visible muscle appears tight, and it’s obvious he has connected the dots. All except the part of the baby being his. His familiar jealous expression leaves me thinking he assumes it’s another man’s.

“You…” he stammers. “You had a baby?”

“Yes.” I swallow the lump inside my throat, constricting my ability to talk. “I had a baby, and it’s yours.”

His eyes begin to blink rapidly for what feels like minutes on end. I give him a moment, or two, to process the news, knowing it can’t be easy to hear this. Then, he presses his fist to his mouth, shaking his head in denial.

“I… I don’t understand,” he splutters, momentarily beyond words. “You had a baby, and it’s mine?”

I nod, then sigh. “I found out late, well after we ended. Actually, I only found out because I had kidney stones and was rushed to the ER. The doctor kinda threw it on me, and to say I was shocked would be an understatement.”

Hunter continues his reign of silence.

“You have to understand, I found out you were having a baby with Kathy, so I didn’t think it was right to tell you.”

“You didn’t think it was right to tell me?” he repeats in a condescending tone. “And are you certain it’s mine?”

While he may think his question is appropriate, the anger flowing through my veins begs to differ. The nerve of him. My hands clench into fists on each side of me as my nostrils flare like a bull ready to charge at its target.

“How dare you insinuate I’m that type of woman,” I bellow, staring at him with fire in my eyes. “I may be a lot of things, Hunter, but when I’m sleeping with one man, it’s only that one man.”

“Can you blame me for the asking? Look at you,” he shouts, then stands up and paces the area behind his desk. “You’re beautiful and young. Don’t get angry at me for the asking.”

I throw my hands up in the air. “Of course I’m angry! I stayed faithful to you despite us not even being in a relationship. But even then, you were planning to have a baby with Kathy? Because if timing serves me right, you conceived your child while we were together.”

“Alexandra—”

“Yeah, none of my business,” I sneer. The alarm on my phone goes off, prompting me to head back home to feed Elijah. “I have to go.”

“Where are you going? We’re not finished.”

I let out a sigh. “I have a son who needs his feed.”

Unable to look at him, I stare at the ground in silence. This was always going to be a complicated conversation. The guilt may have left me, but the anger is only growing.

As I turn around without a goodbye, I’m desperate to get out of here. He rushes to my side and grabs my arm. The touch of his hand causes an electric shock, making me gasp.

“Wait,” he pleads. “What’s his name?”

“Elijah,” I tell him in a low voice. “Elijah Edwards.”

“I want to see him.”

My body turns swiftly. “You want to see him? Why?”

He drops his grip on my arm. “Because you come into my office and tell me I have a son named Elijah. I want to meet him.”

“Fine,” I mutter. “I have to go.”

“I have a flight in three hours but will be back on Friday. I’m assuming you’re staying with your parents?”

“Well, when you’re forced to drop out of college because you’re a single mom raising a baby, you kinda have no choice.”

Hunter purses his lips. “Friday, at my penthouse.”

“Fine, see you then.”

I refuse to carry on this conversation, desperate to get out of there. With my feet moving as fast as they can, I don’t even stop to say goodbye to Meredith. So many thoughts are running through my mind, and it’s only when I exit the elevator and building, do I think how terrible of an idea to meet him at his penthouse.

Okay, so I couldn’t exactly ask him to come to my parents’ house. The same goes for meeting Elijah at his office. There are public places like restaurants or parks, but if Elijah is unsettled, it may be hard for me to settle him if there’s a lot of noise around.

My hand reaches into my purse to dial Ava’s number.

“Oh my god, tell me everything,” she answers without even a hello.

“Let me get in the car. Hold on.” I quickly walk across the road to where my car is parked. Once I’m in, the phone connects, and I start my drive back home. “He was in shock. He questioned whether it was his, then I yelled at him. Now he wants to meet him.”

“This is a lot to process.” She whistles over the speaker. “Where does he want to meet him? Please don’t say Mom and Dad’s. Dad will kill him, and you know it.”

“No, of course not. I’m not that stupid,” I chide. “At his place.”

“As in his and Kathy’s place?”

“His penthouse.”

“Oh, Alexa. That’s dangerous.”

“Why? It’s probably the best place. Imagine meeting your baby for the first time in a public space. Some things are best done in private.”

“If you say so. But I’m warning you. Hunter Cash may have ulterior motives.”

“Like what, Ava?”

“To win you back.”

“Trust me. He doesn’t want me back, and vice versa. The focus here is on Elijah.”

“If you say so.”

River lets out a startling scream in the background, which causes Ava to rush her goodbye and end the call.

When I get back home, I’m utterly exhausted. The emotional stress of it all makes me want to nap, which I plan to do when Elijah has his.

Mom has taken good care of him, but as for me, I really wish someone would just hold me tight and tell me it’s going to be okay.

“So, he wants to meet his son?” Mom asks cautiously.

I nod, lifting Elijah from Mom’s arms. “Yes, and I think he should. Whatever happens from there, I have no clue. I’m just trying to get through the now.”

“I think you’re both doing the right thing.”

“Dad probably disagrees, and Beau is avoiding me.”

“Your father will come around because he always does. Let him be his stubborn self. He will never change. As for Beau, I can imagine it’s hard. He’s probably scared of losing you.”

“But I’ll always be his friend, Mom. I just can’t give him anymore. We tried once, and it nearly broke our friendship for good.”

Mom presses her lips with a knowing nod. “Focus on your son. In the end, when it comes to your relationships, your heart will want what it wants. There’s no changing it.”

With Elijah beginning to squirm in my arms, I excuse myself to my room to feed him in private. When he latches on, my breasts relax, and the dull ache slowly goes away. He’s such a good drinker now. I only hope I can continue to produce milk for the next year.

My eyes close from exhaustion but quickly re-open to tuck Elijah into his crib so I don’t smother him in my sleep. When he’s all nice and snug, he falls asleep instantly.

I lay back in bed and turned to my side. There’s a text message on my screen from Beau:

Beau

I’ll be flying out on Saturday morning. I want to see you and Elijah before I leave.

And sorry for being a prick.

You deserve better from me.

Just as I’m about to respond, a text message comes from Hunter. I recognize the number, even though my number is different, and I don’t know how he got this. With my emotions fueled with anger today, I forgot to give it to him.

Hunter

My place, Friday at 7 p.m. If you’re unable to make it, please let me know beforehand.

He sounds so formal, with not a single ounce of emotion in his text message.

And once again, I feel forced to choose between my best friend and the father of my child. A predicament I wish I was never in, had I learned to make wise decisions instead of acting on impulse.