Chapter 16

Chapter Sixteen

Luke

After stomping around my apartment for the last half hour, I decided to call my buddy, Liam, to see if he wanted to meet for a few drinks. I needed to talk to someone about what was going on with Clemson, and he was the closest friend I had.

So we sat at the little corner dive that was halfway between our places. My friend was a changed man recently, all thanks to a woman. They met in a spin class at his gym and had been dating for a couple of months. He was happier and more grounded than I’d ever seen him, and there were days I felt like I was talking to a different person. He was serious about things he’d never been serious about before and was finally acting his age.

No more partying with young girls, no more weekend benders causing him to call in sick on Monday morning. I liked this version of the man, and his new love interest, Mikala, was the reason for the changes.

Funny what the right woman could do for a man.

Did I just cause irreparable damage to my relationship with Clemson by pressuring her for more? If the relationship was that fragile that we couldn’t discuss shortfalls, was it really what I had myself believing it was?

The only thing I was completely sure about when I walked into that little bar was that I wanted more, and I didn’t think she did. Yeah, that realization stung like a bitch, but so did being in a one-sided relationship.

“Hey, man, how you doing?” Liam stood from the table he’d secured in the corner.

“I’m all right. I really appreciate you meeting me,” I said and shook his hand. “I didn’t know who else to talk to.”

“Uh-oh,” he said and slid back into his seat.

I took the chair opposite him, and we shared small talk until the waitress took our drink orders and slunk away to get them. The place was dead, so she had no sense of urgency in her pace.

“I’m guessing this had to do with the hot blonde?” he asked in his old, crass manner.

I tilted my head to the side and looked at him. “Clemson. You know her name is Clemson.”

“Yeah, I know her name. But right now, you look like a little boy who lost his favorite stuffed animal, so I’m not feeling gracious toward Clemson .”

I chuckled at the way he enunciated her name, and just that bit of support from a friend thawed my mood a bit.

“We had a fight. Well, a disagreement. Shit… I don’t know what to call it. She ended up leaving, and I feel like a dick now, but on the other hand, I don’t. I don’t know, man. I’m so fucking confused.” I rubbed the tension in my forehead after dumping all that information.

“Is it over? Was it that bad?”

“I don’t think so. She said she would call me tomorrow and wanted to leave before one of us said something we’d regret.”

“But,” he began and then waited while the waitress set our beers between us on the banged-up wood table. Once she was gone, he picked right up where he’d left off. “You look like that may have already happened. What did you say to her? What was the fight about?”

“You know this thing we have tomorrow night? She was going to go with me, and I was so excited to take her and show off my girl, you know? I don’t know, maybe that sounds stupid. But after so many years of being the man in the room without a date, I was excited to take her. Plus, I mean, look at her. I’d be the envy of every dude in the room. Who doesn’t want to feel like that, right?”

My friend nodded along while he took a big gulp of his beer. I did the same and set the glass down on the cardboard coaster closest to me.

“Okay, so what happened? She’s not going now because of the fight?” Liam refocused the conversation.

“No, she’s not going, which is what caused the fight,” I clarified. “I was so let down when she told me she couldn’t go, I sat there stewing about it while we watched TV, just getting more and more pissed off. Until, finally, I just opened my stupid mouth and let her know how I felt.”

“Did you yell? I mean, that doesn’t seem like you, at all. I don’t think I’ve ever heard you yell.” He studied me while he spoke. “Oh, except that one time someone broke the copier and didn’t tell anyone.”

In my defense, I added, “Yes, and we found out in the middle of a huge proposal, when we couldn’t print a single thing on the machine. I was livid because it made us look like a bunch of clowns.”

He held his hands up between us like he was ready to defend himself physically. “I get it, dude. I do.”

“No,” I finally said. “I didn’t yell. At least I don’t think I did. You know how that goes when you’re in the middle of a spat. You can’t even remember who said what by the time it’s done. You’re just really pissed off.” I shook my head with the admission, feeling embarrassed and all-around bad about starting the argument with her in the first place.

“Okay, so it’s probably not as bad as you’re thinking.”

I gave him a skeptical raise of my brows.

“Where did you leave things?”

With a sigh, I explained, “I told you. She said she’d call me tomorrow. Then she left.”

“I’m sorry, man. I know you really like her. I’m sure you guys will work through it. You can’t let one little disagreement get in the way of something good.”

I studied him for a few minutes.

“What? Why are you just staring at me?”

“You’ve changed so much since you’ve been with Mikala. It’s great to see you happy.”

A big grin spread across his lips. “Yeah, she’s great. Definitely makes me want to be the best version of myself. For her, you know?”

“Yeah, I get that. Trust me, I do.”

Without asking, the waitress brought us another round of drinks, so we got into some work conversation and even talked about Liam’s family a bit. I’d been friends with the man for years and didn’t know he had two younger brothers. One had just started college this year, and the other was in his senior year of high school.

“Do they ask you for advice?” I asked him. “Like with girls and shit?”

“Sometimes. I think before I started seeing Mick, they thought I was just a screw-off.”

“You kind of were. Not at work, of course, but everything else? They may have been on to something,” I said, half teasing, half truth spilling.

We finished our drinks and agreed that we’d had enough. At the door of the bar, he asked me the question I’d been dreading.

“So what are you doing about the event tomorrow night? Clemson can’t go. Are you skipping it all together?”

“Nah, I have to show face there. The partners will have a shit fit if I don’t at least show up for a little. I don’t need that hanging over my head right before my annual review.”

“Do you want me to try to hook you up with one of Mikala’s friends? There’s one…” He rolled his eyes back. “Dude, she’s a smoke show.”

I shook my head before he could finish. “Nah, I’ll just go alone. Won’t be the first time, right?” I frowned. The thought of spending the night alone hurt my chest when I inhaled. I really wanted Clemson on my arm at this thing.

“Well, let me know if you change your mind.” He gave me a couple of thumps on the back, and we went in opposite directions to our cars.

My mood had only gotten worse the next evening.

I gave myself a long look in the mirror inside my walk-in closet and adjusted the bowtie around my neck for the fifth time. I looked put together at least, regardless of how bummed I was inside.

I hadn’t heard from Clemson all day but was too stubborn to reach out to her myself. I wanted to give her space, if that was what she needed, all while holding on to a bit of frustration from the argument we had.

I shouldn’t have to apologize to her for opening up about my feelings.

For much of my life, my father made me feel like my feelings made me weak and less of a man. I never cried in front of him after making that mistake in my early teens. He chewed my ass and insulted me over and over until I swore to myself it would never happen again. That experience with the one man I looked up to scarred me for life, and many of those feelings I had at the time were swirling around in my gut now.

I’d worked really hard at overcoming the shame of expressing myself, and I refused to backtrack on that progress because of this situation with Clemson.

In fairness, she didn’t shame me for admitting my feelings for her. I just ended up regretting doing so because she didn’t immediately reciprocate. So really, what I was feeling now wasn’t as much shame as it was regret. I allowed myself to be vulnerable with her, and now I was hurt.

I arrived at the event alone and parked the car through the valet service at the venue. Liam had checked in with me a few times throughout the day, and I finally got him to drop the idea of fixing me up with one of his girlfriend’s friends. I didn’t want to end things with Clemson. We were just going through a bit of a rough patch.

I plastered on a smile I didn’t really feel and walked into the ballroom.

The place was stunning. I had been in this hotel for events before, and they really knew how to transform a blank space into a themed party. It looked like I was walking into a winter wonderland with icicle-inspired chandeliers and sparkling snow drifts where the walls met the floor.

Ten-person round tables were scattered around the enormous space with an elaborate ice sculpture dripping in the middle of the room. Christmas decorations filled in the smaller details and made the room looked magical.

After checking the seating chart for my name, I made my way to my assigned table. Of course, I was stopped half a dozen times on my way there to greet coworkers and clients and be introduced to rarely seen spouses.

I slipped into the seat assigned to me and greeted the people already sitting there. Half of them I knew, one couple introduced themselves as friends of one of the partners of my advertising firm, and two seats remained empty.

I scanned the room for Liam and his date and then decided to hit the bar for a cocktail. Nothing made these things more tolerable like a good stiff drink. I even slipped the bartender an extra-large tip to make the concoction as strong as possible.

As I made my way back to my table, Liam found me in the crowd. His face was red in the artificial lighting, and he grabbed my arm at the elbow, pulling me away from anyone overhearing us.

“Dude,” I said, looking down at where he was clutching my forearm. “What the hell is it?”

“Man, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but I figured better me than seeing for yourself.”

He looked as close to panicked as I’d ever seen him, which was odd because Liam was one of the chilliest people I knew. No matter what the situation, the guy had an uncanny way of staying calm.

Not now, though. Something had him really worked up, so I urged him to tell me what was going on.

He ushered me off to the side of one of the hors d’oeuvres tables and out of earshot of the other guests.

“She’s here,” he blurted as if that explained everything from his odd behavior to the urgent pace of his voice.

“Who is? What are you talking about?”

“Your girl. I saw her walk in with another guy. And you’ll never guess who. Brian Landry.” He fixed his shifting eyes for a few beats, waiting for my reaction.

“Did you spark up in the parking lot?” I asked him, and it wasn’t without merit. He was known to hit a joint before stressful events like this one. He said it took the edge off and made him feel more social.

“No,” he said with a twisted frown. “Mikayla doesn’t like it when I smoke. I haven’t gotten high since the week we started dating.”

“Then what the hell are you talking about?”

“Clemson. Your girlfriend? She’s here with Landry.”

I shook my head while he spoke. “Maybe you saw someone that resembles her. She had a team obligation tonight.”

“I don’t think so, man. I’d bet my left nut it was her on his arm.” He looked around the room with jerky head movements. Left. Right. Left again. “Shit, I don’t know where they’re seated, but I swear it was her.”

Thinking he’d lost it at that point, I decided to just placate him instead of causing a scene disputing his claim. “Okay, man. I’ll keep my eye out for her.”

“I’m here for you, man. Okay? I got your back if you want to take him out. Whatever you want.” He gripped my shoulder and gave it a few pumps.

I stared after him as he darted away, getting lost in the crowd of milling guests. He had to be wrong. There’s no way she was here with the very man we’re supposed to court tonight for his business.

Right? There’s no way…because that would mean she lied to me.

Grabbing a drink off a waiter’s tray as he passed by, I threw my head back and downed whatever was in it. My nerves were skyrocketing thanks to Liam’s nonsense, and I had to cool down before running into Brian Landry and making an ass out of myself.

So, I decided to take my seat again and watch the crowd from a distance. The others had already taken their seats, and the only remaining empty spot was mine.

As I approached the table, I could make out Brian Landry—and, I assumed, his date—from behind. All I could see of her was luxurious hair flowing down her back, nearly to her waist. Soft curls gave her an old Hollywood feel and little jewels the same color as her dark green gown were intricately woven throughout the silky waves.

My heart was in my throat as I rounded the table to my chair. I could feel my pulse throbbing in my neck, and my palms were wet with perspiration. I snuck a swipe down my tuxedo slacks to dry them because I’d have to shake the man’s hand before I sat down.

The account he could offer us would change my career. I couldn’t look like a bumbling idiot just because his date looked like my girlfriend’s twin from behind.

The room still buzzed with people socializing, but when I laid eyes on the couple across the table, I could’ve sworn the whole place fell away. I made eye contact with him first, offering my hand in greeting.

“Mr. Landry, so great to finally meet you,” I said and thrust my hand toward him. “Luke Allen.”

He reached for the offered handshake and said hello. Immediately, because he had impeccable manners on top of model-good looks, he introduced the woman beside him.

“This is my date, Clemson Farsay,” he said, or at least I think he said, because when my eyes met hers, the buzzing in my ears grew as loud as a swarm of angry hornets.