Chapter Thirty-Two

Callum

I stayed with Pasha for three days before she decided she was ready to come home. During that time, I sat back and watched her during the early morning hours when she thought I was asleep. Frequently, she'd sit out on the balcony and meditate or pray. I wondered what was going through her head during those times. I didn't ask, and she didn't elaborate. I figured her talks with God were personal and something she needed for herself.

While she prayed for herself, I prayed for her. I asked God to touch her, heal her heart, and protect her mind. It's hell trying to leave past trauma behind. Some things aren't easy to let go of, her son being one of them. When I told her I'd pay for the costs of the funeral, I didn't think twice about that. I thought about my parents and how I wouldn't have had any peace if their bodies hadn't been recovered after their accident.

I couldn't imagine not being able to give them a proper burial or being able to visit them. While cemetery visits could be emotional, they gave me comfort. Sometimes, sitting out there with my parents granted me peace. I knew they were watching over Bella and me and were proud of what they saw. We'd lived up to everything they'd hoped and dreamed for us, or at least I hoped we had.

"All right, Mr. Ellis, this is the final total."

Today was Thursday, and I was meeting with the advisor for the cemetery. Yesterday, Pasha and I visited the funeral home to inquire about a small service. The whole ordeal took a lot out of her, so I told her I would handle everything else. I roped in Avyn to get flowers and their friends together. My friends would be here to support her on Saturday as well. They were all on board to be there for her when I told them what we were doing.

Whipping out the envelope with the cash Pasha had given me for the car, I paid for the plot. I couldn't think of a better way to return it to her. When I told Mr. Smart the story, he was generous enough to knock a substantial amount off the price. He told me that he would have just given it to us for free if he could have. I appreciated that.

"Thank you, Mr. Smart. You don't know how much this means to my girlfriend."

"I can only imagine. I pray that this brings her the peace she's looking for."

"Thank you."

I stood and shook his hand, then left the building. I climbed in my car and headed to Pasha's. For some odd reason, traffic was backed up for at least a mile. When I'd finally made it past all the hangups, I saw that there had been an accident. A car had slammed into the back of an eighteen-wheeler. It was a mangled mess. The streets were lined with fire trucks and police cars. The sight of the coroner van alerted me that someone hadn't made it. I said a silent prayer as I drove past.

The ten-minute drive turned into at least forty-five. It was nearing twelve when I made it to Pasha's. While she'd come home, she was still on a leave of absence from work until the following week. Pulling into the parking lot, I grabbed a spot and headed inside, up to her floor. Stepping off the elevator, I went to her door and lightly knocked. She opened it a few seconds later.

"Hey, come on in."

She left the door open and hurried off. When I stepped in, she was at the stove cooking. The small space smelled terrific. After hanging up my keys, I headed to where she stood at the stove. Wrapping my arms around her waist, I kissed her temple. She tilted her head up and offered me her lips.

"I missed you," she said softly.

"I missed you too. What are you cooking?"

"Pepper steak and rice. You hungry?"

"I'm starving. I didn't eat breakfast."

"Well, it's almost ready. I just need the sauce to thicken up a little."

She turned the eye down to simmer and covered the pot with a lid. Turning in my arms, she wrapped her arms around my neck and hugged me tightly. Bending my knees a little, I stooped to pick her up. With her legs around my waist, I turned and placed her on the counter. She continued to hug me as I placed kisses on the side of her face.

"Where's your mental today?" I asked, gliding my hands up and down her back.

"A seven."

"That's better than yesterday."

"I had a good cry this morning. I journaled about it, and I felt a little better." She pulled back, looking at me with sad eyes. "How did everything go?"

"Everything is paid for and set for Saturday. How are you feeling about it?"

She sighed. "It's long overdue. He'll be with my parents, and that's how I want it."

"I'm sure they are taking great care of him. He's probably the most spoiled little boy running around the pearly gates."

She smiled softly. "They would have spoiled him rotten, especially my father."

I chuckled. "My parents would have loved Precious. Spoiled wouldn't have been the word."

"Like you don't spoil her?"

"I'm guilty. She's the closest thing I have to a kid of my own. She can get whatever she wants out of me, and she knows that."

"The perks of being an uncle. My aunts and uncles were the same way when I was growing up. Mama and Daddy may say no, but TiTi and Unc always came through."

"Have you given more thought to this family reunion?"

She sighed. "I'm gonna go. I logged into FlexSpace for the first time in years. We have this group where they drop all the information, so I know where it will be." She smiled a little. "I went scrolling through my profile, and so many family members have tagged me in old memories or written on my wall expressing how much they missed me or my parents."

"They never forgot about you. I think this will be good for you. A found family is great, but blood will always feel different."

"Are you regretting cutting off yours?"

I shook my head. "I did what was best for Bella and me. My father told me a long time ago that there were snakes in my mother's family. I learned that the hard way. Nobody will ever get the chance to burn me once, let alone twice. I've got my tribe, and I've got you."

I leaned in and pecked her lips.

"I love you," she whispered.

"Say that again."

She giggled. "I said, I love you, Mr. Ellis."

"I love you too, Ms. Brooks."

She revealed that with her divorce, she decided to go back to her maiden name. She said the decision gave her part of her identity back, a part of her that she'd lost a long time ago. I loved that for her.

Settled in the living room, Pasha and I enjoyed the food she made. It was so good that I went back for a second helping. Then the itis kicked in. I found myself stretched out on the couch between her legs with my head resting on her breasts. We'd started off watching a movie before I drifted off to sleep. I wasn't sure how long I'd been out, but I was awakened by Pasha tapping me.

"Callum.... Callum!"

My eyes slowly opened, and I looked around. "What's up?"

"Look!"

She pointed at the television. A news report about the accident I'd passed earlier was on the screen.

"That's him," she whispered.

"Who?"

"Raymond."

"Wait... You serious? I passed this on my way here earlier."

I sat up, and so did she. Grabbing the remote, she turned up the volume.

"In other news, a horrific scene from the sight of a crash downtown. An accident took place around nine thirty this morning, leaving one dead. Thirty-eight-year-old Dr. Raymond Sinclair, a surgeon at Baptist Hospital, tragically lost his life when he crashed head-on into the back of this eighteen-wheeler—"

Pasha swallowed hard. "... He's dead."

I could tell she wasn't sure how to feel about the news. He was horrible to her, but I couldn't picture her wishing death on him. She didn't have that kind of hate in her heart.

"Are you okay?" I asked, grabbing her hand.

"I'm... I'm fine. Just in shock." She swallowed hard again. "This is crazy."

"It is."

She reached for the remote and turned off the television. "I don't even have words right now. I mean... When I told him he'd reap what he'd sown, I didn't mean this. He's really dead."

"What's going through your mind right now?"

She shrugged. "Is it bad that I don't feel remorse?"

"Given what you've been through with him, no. I mean, it's sad he lost his life, but I don't think I'd be able to shed a tear."

"The only person I feel even the slightest bit of remorse for is the baby. She's the innocent party in all of this, and now, she has to grow up without a father." She shook her head as she rested against me. I wrapped an arm around her, gently stroking her arm.

"All you can do is say a prayer for her."

"You're right. God have mercy on her."

We sat in silence for the longest time. I wasn't sure what was running through Pasha's head, but the news was a lot to swallow. Their divorce was fresh, and now the man who contributed to a lot of her pain was dead. I could only imagine that it was a bittersweet feeling. On one hand, she couldn't celebrate his death. On the other hand, she had no reason to be sad that he was gone.