Chapter Twelve

Callum

I usually spend my Sundays with Precious and Bella, but since they were out of town again, I decided to leave the house for a little while and enjoy the fresh air. I'd been up since early this morning, getting in my workout routine and meditating. It was something I found calmed my nerves when I was dealing with emotional turmoil after my parents passed away.

Every morning for the last couple of years, I've woken up at sunrise and gone to sit out on my patio. The neighborhood I grew up in was quiet, and there wasn't much movement at six a.m. Out there, it was just me and the sounds of nature. My mother used to meditate all the time. Back then, I'd always ask my father why she was sitting looking up at the sky so early. He said she was centering herself and finding peace and balance. As a kid, I didn't understand, but as an adult, I fully reaped the benefits.

Since it was such a lovely day, I decided to go to the local farmers' market in the town square. Every Sunday, people came to sell fresh produce and handmade goods. It was the perfect opportunity to sow back into the community. Most Sundays as a kid, we ventured here as a family. Some days, I still scooped up Bella and Precious to come out here.

I arrived a little after ten and parked my car. Grabbing my sunglasses, I got out and treaded through the crowded streets. My first stop was always Ms. Carol, an older Black woman who sold homemade treats.

"Callum!" She came from around the table to greet me with a grandmotherly hug. "How are you, baby?"

"I can't complain, Ms. Carol. How are you?"

"Well, the good Lord allowed me to live another day, and I'm just fine with that."

"Amen. What do you have for me today?"

"Oh!" She tipped back around the table and opened the cooler I knew she kept her secret stash in. She pulled out a small bag with about five cookies in it. "Cookie Monster Cookies."

They were crispy, blue chocolate chip cookies loaded with chocolate chips, chopped Oreos, and melted chocolate in the center.

"Ms. Carol, you're trying to make me fat," I said with a light chuckle. "You know I can't eat just one of these."

"That's why there are five in the bag." She pulled out a second bag and handed it to me. "Take that to Precious. Where are she and Bella today?"

"They went out of town. How much do I owe you?"

"It's on me today. I haven't seen you in a while. Consider it a gift."

"Now, Ms. Carol—"

"Aht-aht! Respect your elders." She turned to get a bag, and I slipped a twenty into her tip jar. "You have a good day, and keep cool in this hot sun."

"Yes, ma'am."

I leaned over to kiss her cheek. Bidding her goodbye, I continued through the crowd, stopping at a few tables. After a while, the urge to try one of these cookies got the better of me. I grabbed a bottle of water from a vendor and sat on a nearby bench. The first bite of the cookie caused me to release a deep moan.

"Shit..." I mumbled.

I had to hold the cookie away from me and look at it. There was a very strong possibility that Precious wouldn't get her bag if I had to keep them at my house. Before I knew it, I'd scarfed down three cookies.

"Must be good," I heard.

I looked up to see Pasha standing in front of me with a warm smile on her face. I had to do a double take. She looked nothing like she did yesterday. I mean, she was still beautiful yesterday, but today... Today, she was radiant. From the hair to the makeup to the way her outfit accentuated her ample curves. She looked like she had a good night's sleep and woke up feeling refreshed.

I swallowed the cookie in my mouth and extended the bag to her.

"Try one."

"Oh, I couldn't. You looked like you were enjoying that, and I don't need a cookie anyway."

I stood and stepped closer to her. Reaching into the bag, I pulled out a cookie and handed it to her. "Taste it," I insisted.

She hesitated momentarily before breaking off a piece and popping it into her mouth. I watched her eyes widen as she chewed.

"Oh my God..."

"It's good, right?"

"That's probably the best thing I've ever tasted."

"You want the rest?"

She plucked the remaining cookie from my fingers and took another bite. A few crumbs landed on her lips, and the urge to reach out and swipe them was real. She licked her lips to capture them.

"Thank you," she said softly.

"You're welcome. You look nice. Something about you feels different today."

She blushed. "Well, for one, I woke up happy and well rested. I feel good."

"It shows. What brings you out?"

"Oh, I just wanted to get out for a little while. Soak up the sun. I hadn't planned to come here when the Uber dropped me off in town. I saw the crowd and decided to see what was going on."

"You've never been to the farmers' market?"

She shook her head. "I've been a bit of a hermit the last couple of years. My anxiety has me wanting to run for the hills right now."

"Stay in the moment and work through it. You took a big enough step by coming out here. You deserve to enjoy yourself."

She looked around. "There's just so many people. I wasn't even supposed to come over here. I could feel myself beginning to panic, and you were a familiar face."

"Well, I'm glad my face had a calming effect. I'd be happy to walk around with you if you're comfortable with that."

She was hesitant, but she nodded. I offered her my arm, and she gently wrapped her fingers around it. Something about her touch was practically electrifying. We stared at each other for a moment. She was so damn beautiful. If this was what she looked like before her husband, I could only imagine that she hadn't always been this shy, timid woman who retreated into her shell. I was dying to see her bring that back out.

"Lead the way," I said, motioning in front of me.

She began walking, and I trailed along beside her. For a while, we walked in silence. Every so often, I stole a glance at her, hoping that my staring wasn't coming off as creepy.

"Do you come here often?" she asked.

"On occasion. Usually, I bring my sister and my niece with me."

"Is she your only sibling?"

"Yes. They are really my only family. Well, them and my brother-in-law. His family welcomes me, but Bella and Precious are my heart."

"You don't have any other family?"

"I do, but after my parents died when I was eighteen, nobody could or would take us in. I gained custody of my sister, and all we had was each other."

"You lost your parents?"

"They, uh... They died in a boating accident. They went on this yacht to celebrate one of their friends' birthday, and the boat capsized. According to those that survived, my mother went under, and my father jumped in to save her, and neither of them came back up."

"Callum... I'm so sorry. Were they... Were they ever recovered."

"They were. I was able to give them a proper burial. They are resting peacefully in Oakview Cemetery."

Her eyes widened. "My parents are buried there." She swiped a tear from her eye. "I wanted to bury my son next to them, but Raymond didn't think I could handle it."

"Avyn mentioned that you lost a child. She wasn't gossiping. I want you to know that. She was just trying to explain what was going on with you."

"It's okay. I know she meant no harm." She swallowed hard before she spoke again. "It was a year ago. I was almost nine months. One morning, I woke up with terrible cramps. I thought it was normal and would ease up after a while, but it didn't. I was in so much pain, and I could tell that something was wrong. I begged Raymond to take me to the hospital. He insisted that I was probably having Braxton Hicks contractions, but I knew it was something else. By the time we got there, my baby was gone. The cord... He got tangled up in the umbilical cord, and there was nothing they could do."

"I'm so sorry, Pasha," I said softly. "You've suffered so much in the last couple of years. First, your parents, then your child... now, this. You're stronger than most people. I'm not sure I would have survived everything you've been through."

"Most times, I don't feel strong at all." She shook her head. "But I'm still here. That has to count for something, right?"

"That counts for everything. Don't take that lightly. You may be bruised and bend, but you are not broken."

She smiled softly. "Thank you, Callum. You might be a good friend after all."

I chuckled. "I can be a great friend. So, friend ... How about we focus on having a good day? No more sad talk. You came out of the house, and I'm gonna make sure you make it worth your while. Have you eaten?"

"Just toast and coffee for breakfast. I am a little hungry."

"There's a few food trucks in the back parking area. How about we grab something? My treat."

"I can pay for my own food. You've done enough for me at no cost."

"One thing you'll learn about me is I'm a very generous person. The food is on me. Come along."

She was reluctant to follow me but did so with no further protest. Running into her might turn out to be the highlight of my day. I was on a mission to ensure she left here with nothing but smiles.

Pacha and I ended up grabbing a walking taco from one of the food trucks and cups of lemonade to drink. She seemed a little shy about eating in front of me, and I could tell it came from her husband commenting about her weight. Again, I didn't have a problem with her weight. I loved thicker women. My mama was a thick woman. My sister is a thick woman. There was no way I'd ever disrespect a woman based on her body type when two of the women I loved most shared it.

We'd been walking around for about an hour when we stopped to take a break in the shade. The sun was beating down on us, and we felt the heat. We'd stopped to get some Italian ice to cool us off.

"I should have worn shorts," she mumbled, fanning herself.

"Right. I'm hopping in the shower as soon as I get home."

"Me too."

"How was your first night in the apartment?"

She smiled. "A little lonely, but so peaceful. Avyn came back for a little while after Malcolm left. She said we had to christen the new place by having drinks and a little girls' night. I've missed that."

"She seems like a great friend."

"She is. I've known her since we were kids, and she's always been a good friend. She's always gone out of her way to care for me. I felt bad about shutting all my girls out, but most of all, her. I'm just glad to have them back."

"I'm glad you have that too. We hate to admit we need people, but there is power in support."

"Who supports you, I mean, besides your sister?"

"I have friends that have become like family. They keep my head on straight."

She shoved a spoonful of the Italian ice into her mouth. "I don't see you being too much of a hothead."

I chuckled. "These days, I'm not. It takes a lot to get me out of character, but I will act up over people I care about and the principle of things. Right is right, and wrong is wrong. Ain't no way around that. As my friend, that's extended to you."

"I think I've already gotten a glimpse of that. Since you won't allow me to pay you for your help, I feel I should do something to show my appreciation."

"You spending time with me today is appreciation enough. That is worth more than any monetary gain."

She blushed. "Something tells me you're a smooth talker... but you're genuine."

"I'm very genuine. I don't say things that I don't mean, and I don't do anything looking for something in return. My kindness comes from the heart."

"I wish there were more people like that."

"My mother always told me you must be the change you want to see in the world. Who are you, Pasha? Before the hurt and the pain, who were you inside?"

She stabbed at her Italian ice, seemingly pondering the question. Finally, she shrugged.

"I was once a fun-loving, carefree, and happy person. I enjoyed spending time with my friends and family. I loved getting my hair and nails done. I don't know... I'm trying to rediscover that part of me."

"Well, this is a good start. I mean, this is the most sincere way. You look beautiful today. I thought you were beautiful the moment I saw you, but today, you look like you feel it too."

Shyly, she looked away. "I felt a boost of confidence this morning."

"Let that continue to work for you. You're glowing, and it has nothing to do with the heat from this hot-ass sun."

She laughed out loud, and I think it was possibly the most beautiful sound I had ever heard. It would be my honor to be the source of that for her. I couldn't put my finger on it, but something about her felt so right with my spirit. I knew God would never send me another man's woman, but that didn't mean I couldn't walk with her on her healing journey until I could make her my own.